Hello Kitty
by TerribleWaitress
Summary: Penny is out of coffee, and she's wearing Hello Kitty pajama shorts. Stuff happens. Set during S4, while Leonard is dating Priya.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - I haven't written in ages. This little idea came to me during a bout of insomnia (which is balls) whilst watching Game of Thrones re-runs (loving life). Hope you enjoy and it's not too rubbish :) **

* * *

Penny wandered into apartment 4A, clutching a coffee mug. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, a dressing gown thrown over her pink tank top and Hello Kitty pajama shorts. "I'm out of coffee," she said to the room, heading automatically to the coffee maker in the kitchen.

"Hello?"

Penny turned around as she finished pouring her coffee. Leonard was wrapped in a towel, holding a comb in one hand. She hid her smirk, turning back to the counter to add some sugar to her coffee.

"Oh, Hello Kitty," Leonard grinned, walking over to the counter.

"Hello Kitty's right, I'm even wearing the matching panties. Though you're a little underdressed for coffee," Penny pointed out, now turning around and taking a sip. "I was out of coffee."

"Oh, I just had a shower and I came out to see who was here," Leonard said, wishing he had a shirt on or something. "Though I should be used to you coming over unannounced for coffee."

"Yeah..." Penny's eyes drifted over his chest, his arms... "So, uh, you're home alone? No work today?"

Leonard nodded. "Priya's gone to work, Sheldon's at work too. I have the day off since I worked late all this week." He sat down, pouring himself some coffee.

"Cool," Penny managed to get out. She found herself wishing that she could use her mind to make his towel fall off. She smirked as she thought of Priya, at work, not here to shun her out of the apartment. And what a great time it was to be in Leonard's apartment. "Good shower?"

Leonard raised a brow. "Umm, it was okay I guess." He picked up his mug. "I'm just gonna go get dressed." He was used to Penny hanging around in their apartment; it was actually kind of nice to see her here, as she wasn't really around much anymore since he had told her Priya didn't like her being there.

Penny moved over to the couch, switching on the TV. She flicked through the morning chat shows, stopping to watch snippets of interviews as she sipped on her coffee. A few minutes later, Leonard came back in, this time dressed in his usual t-shirt, hoodie and jeans combo.

"Anything good on?" He asked as he sat down next to her.

She shook her head. "Not really - usual morning chat show stuff." She shut the TV off and put down the remote. "So how're things with you?"

"Not bad... it's been a bit busy at work, but we've finally solved this huge problem, which means we can continue with the experiment next week. How's the Cheesecake Factory treating you?"

"Oh, same old, same old. I'm a terrible waitress, I get terrible tips, you know the drill." She sighed. "Though I did get a really good tip while working at the bar. Shame he was a total sleazebag."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Yeah, then these other guys were trying to get my number, so..." She grinned mischievously. "I charged them a little extra each time they ordered another round!"

"You didn't!" Leonard laughed.

"They were so drunk by the end of it, I could have charged triple and they wouldn't have known," she giggled.

"From now on I'm double checking what you charge us," Leonard joked.

"One day I'll add on something extra and see if you notice." Penny grinned.

"Well, I'll be on my guard."

She giggled. "I've missed hanging out with you, Leonard."

His heart skipped a beat, hearing her say those words. "Me too." He smiled, patting her knee. "Me too."

Penny looked at his hand on her knee, and covered it with hers, not wanting him to let go. She looked up at him, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips. Those eyes which used to tell her how much he loved her, how much he cared. Those lips that knew exactly what to say, what to do, which would kiss her so lovingly yet so fiercely.

All of a sudden, those months of regret and anger and hating Priya didn't exist, and it was just her and him. Sitting so close together, something inside her snapped, whatever forces she'd been using to convince herself she was okay with him and Priya were weakened. At this moment, Penny knew she was never going to be okay with her mistake; she was never going to be happy about Leonard having a new girlfriend.

Leaning in, she kissed him. Softly, lovingly, meaningfully.

"What are you doing?" Leonard asked quietly. Not that he didn't like it.

Penny looked at him, her eyes strong. "I miss you, Leonard." She kissed his neck. "So, so much." She pulled back, looking at their still joined hands. "I know you probably don't miss me in the same way, and I'm a bitch for doing this... I'm sorry." She felt tears begin to form in her eyes, and averted her gaze to her feet.

"Penny," He lifted her chin gently, turning her so she would look at him. Her eyes were swimming with tears, and he brushed a tear away as it rolled down her cheek. He tilted his head and kissed her.

After a moment of surprise at his forwardness, she kissed him back, her heart racing. Oh God, he was such a great kisser. She let out a small gasp as he started to kiss down her neck, remembering her most sensitive spots.

"This... is wrong," she breathed, as he worked his way back up to her jaw. "You have... you have a girlfriend."

"Shh," Leonard looked at her, his eyes filled with passion. "I've missed you too."

As his lips found hers again, one of his hands tangled in her hair, the other went around her waist, pulling her closer. Penny wrapped her arms around his neck, moaning into his mouth as he deepened the kiss.

* * *

"Crap," Leonard shot up suddenly, looking at the message on his phone. "Priya and Sheldon are on their way back, she just picked him up."

"Oh God," Penny jumped off the couch, quickly pulling on her robe and grabbing her pajama shorts and tank top from the floor as Leonard hastily put his clothes back on. She grabbed her coffee mug and walked briskly to the door.

"Thank you, Leonard," She said shyly. "That really was... amazing."

He smiled. "I know," He leaned in, giving into weakness one more time and kissing her. He wanted to hold on, to never let her go, but he knew this wasn't the time for that.

She gave him a small smile as she rushed across the hallway into her apartment.

Leonard shut the door, and began pacing. He missed her, so, so much. He would be lying to say he didn't still have feelings for her. But he'd moved on from her, right? He was with Priya now, in a serious relationship. Knowing Penny missed him too, that was... well. But he wasn't the kind of guy who cheated. Leonard was the good guy. He had always been the good guy.

Had.

* * *

Penny opened the door.

Priya stood there, anger written all over her. No, it was more than anger. It was fury, outrage, pure hatred. Her arm outstretched, she held a small plastic bag. Cautiously, Penny took it and looked inside. Her heart stopped. Those pink panties with the little Hello Kitty printed on the waistband she'd worn just a few days ago, which Leonard had torn off her on the couch. She'd forgotten to put them back on, that she'd even been wearing them under her pajama shorts. She looked back up at Priya, who looked like she was going to murder Penny.

Penny didn't know what to say, and even if she did, her throat was so dry, her heart was beating so fast and her chest so tight that she wouldn't have been able to anyway. She backed away, suddenly terrified of this woman, and shut the door slowly as Priya dropped her arm and furiously stomped back to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Penny saw her pause outside the door, and adopt a smile as she walked in. She heard a "Hey, I'm home!" and Penny knew: Priya wasn't going to tell Leonard that she knew.

Shutting the door fully, Penny leant against her door, dropping the tiny plastic bag. She had been reckless, careless, stupid. She couldn't go back there now. This is the price she was paying for that morning with Leonard; a few hours of happiness, wrapped in his arms, wishing she'd had the courage months ago to tell him 'I love you too.'


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Okay, so I got some more ideas after people enjoyed this. Ta for the reviews, hope you enjoy this as much as the original chapter! It's not as exciting... but we'll get there! **

* * *

Penny did everything she could. She put all her Hello Kitty pajamas and panties at the back of the bottom drawer; they evidently gave her away. She took three pregnancy tests; that was one less thing to worry about and one less thing Priya could hate her for. She picked up more shifts at the Cheesecake Factory; that made it easier to avoid seeing Leonard and Priya.

A few times, Penny had considered telling Amy and Bernadette what she had done. But Amy would tell Sheldon, who can't keep a secret; so he'd tell... everyone, really, and it didn't need to be brought up. Bernadette would tell Howard, who would tell Raj, who would then silently hate Penny's guts. She couldn't tell her other friends, because they just wouldn't get it.

Unlocking her apartment door after a double shift, she heard voices behind her and turned around. Leonard and Priya were leaving his apartment.

Penny froze for a second. "Hi," She said quickly.

"Hi Penny," Leonard smiled, locking the door.

"Hello Penny." Priya said. Her voice was calm and friendly, but her eyes were shooting daggers at Penny.

"Okay, well, bye," Penny opened her door and closed it quickly behind her.

Rubbing her temples, she sat down on the couch. How was it that just a few days ago, she had been the one hating Priya? Now Priya hated her, if hate was a strong enough word for the way she just looked at Penny. Penny was terrified; not only was she a far more successful and intelligent woman, but she used this to intimidate her. Penny hated the way Priya could do this to her, she hated that somehow Priya had ended up with the power to keep her away from Leonard.

She spent the night drinking Peppermint Schnapps from the bottle, shouting at the TV because Carrie had Mr. Big, and that just wasn't fair.

* * *

Penny raised a brow as she heard a soft knock at the door. It wasn't Sheldon's knock, and no one else ever knocked on her door in the morning. Putting her plate in the sink, she opened the door.

"Priya?" _Great, now she's actually coming to my apartment on purpose to give me that evil look?_

Priya sighed, jutting her jaw. "Leonard's car broke down."

"Okay?" Penny raised a brow.

"So..." Priya tried to force a friendly expression on her face. "You need to give us a lift."

_She's not even asking? _Penny thought, slightly outraged. _She needs a favor and she's just telling me I have to do it? What kind of bitch does that?_ Penny folded her arms. "Why?"

"Because I have to get to work for a very important meeting. Sheldon and Leonard also need to get to work."

Penny rolled her eyes. Of course Priya would put herself first. She picked up her keys from the bowl and grabbed her handbag. "Fine. I'm on my way to work anyway."

They walked awkwardly down the stairs together, neither daring to bring up what the other was thinking. Penny could feel Priya's judgmental glare on her the whole way down. She exhaled deeply as they stepped outside, and walked quickly towards her car, where Leonard and Sheldon were waiting patiently.

"Penny, thank goodness! I was getting worried I'd have to go upstairs to get my bus pants, and get the bus, and be late for work." Sheldon smiled. "It turns out you are a useful neighbor."

Penny shot him a glare, though she didn't really know why, she wasn't angry at Sheldon. She unlocked her car and got into the drivers seat. Sheldon called 'dibs' on the front seat, so Priya happily got in the back with Leonard.

"You off to work too, Penny?" Leonard asked, oblivious to the death glares Priya was shooting at Penny.

Penny caught Priya's glare through her interior mirror. "Yup." She nodded.

Priya then took to kissing Leonard to divert him from conversing with Penny. Sheldon shot them many disapproving looks, but Penny held her tongue, knowing she couldn't say anything. Priya continued to fuss over Leonard for the rest of the journey, and by the time she had parked at the university, Penny was about ready to explode. She knew Priya was doing this to annoy Penny, to show off that she was the one who was dating Leonard.

"Thank you, Penny." Sheldon said as he got out of the car. "I finish at five thirty today. Does that work out for you to pick me up?"

Penny rolled her eyes. She should have guessed he would need a ride back too. "I'll pick you up at five thirty, Sheldon."

"And Leonard too? Tonight is Halo night, we have to be back on time."

"Sheldon, I'm not just going to leave Leonard here."

"Thanks, Penny," Leonard grinned at her. He then kissed Priya on the cheek. "See you later."

He got out of the car. Sheldon finally shut his door, satisfied that Penny understood that she had to pick them both up. Priya stayed in her seat at the back. Priya told Penny where she was going, and Penny told her she knew how to get there, and so the two continued their silence. Priya continued to shoot glares at Penny, who did her best not to catch them in the mirror. She parked in the parking lot of the building Priya had described.

"You can pick me up at five." She said, her hand on the door handle. "I don't want you and Leonard in the car without me." With that she opened the door and got out, slamming the door shut without even a thank you.

As Priya crossed in front of Penny's car, Penny fought a strong urge to run her over.

"That bitch would deserve it," She thought out loud, angrily clutching the steering wheel. "No need to thank me for driving you all the way here, it's not even on my route to work. Not that you even asked."

She reversed out of her parking spot and sped off, not caring about how fast she was driving or how much she was pissing off the other drivers. Once she had parked at the Cheesecake Factory, she took a few minutes to compose herself before heading into work.

"Seven and a half Priya-free hours." She said to herself as she clocked in. "At least that's seven and a half hours she won't be with Leonard."

* * *

**A/N - Okay you know you want to write me a review :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - I had so much fun writing this chapter! Hope you all enjoy reading it :) **

* * *

Penny put down her magazine and walked over to open the door, to reveal Howard, Sheldon and Raj.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Hey, Penny. Could we come inside quickly?"

"Sure," Penny stepped back to let them in before shutting the door.

"Okay, so you remember last time we threw Leonard a surprise party and it didn't really work out?" Howard asked, as Raj looked guiltily down at his feet.

"Yeah..." Penny raised a brow.

"We were thinking of throwing him one on Saturday for his birthday, but making it even better - and having him actually turn up while the party is going on!" Howard grinned. "We were thinking of having everyone dress up in fancy dress."

"It is going to 'kick ass', as they say," Sheldon interjected, unable to hide the excitement on his face. "I'm not one for parties but I get to dress up as the Flash. Howard promised."

"And Priya's okay with you guys inviting me?"

"Oh, she didn't want to invite you, but she's agreed to let you come." Howard shrugged.

Penny rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'll be there."

As the guys left, Penny smirked to herself. This would be a fun game.

* * *

"Don't you think your costume is a little revealing for a birthday party?" Bernadette asked as Penny emerged from her bedroom, dressed in the Wonder Woman costume she had worn to the party at the Comic Book Store on New Years Eve.

"Don't listen to her, bestie, you look spectacular." Amy grinned.

"Whatever, it's the only costume I had." Penny lied. She had a few other costumes (though she had to admit they weren't any less revealing than this one) - but she knew Leonard liked this one. She'd even put the black wig on.

"Ugh, I'm sorry Penny, I keep getting blue on everything I touch." Bernadette frowned at the blue print her arm had made on the counter. She had dressed up as a Smurfette. "It'll rub off. Howard's probably turned everything blue over in the guys apartment."

"We should go," Amy said, checking her watch as Penny downed her glass of wine. "Leonard should be arriving in fifteen minutes."

The girls agreed and got up, crossing to 4A. It was unlocked, so they walked straight in. Most people had arrived already, milling and mingling.

"Hey!" Raj walked over, dressed as Thor, clutching a beer. "You guys look great!"

"Thank you," Amy grinned. She was dressed as a princess, wearing the tiara Sheldon had bought her.

Penny spotted Priya filling a paper plate with snacks at the counter and walked over, grinning. "Hello, Priya,"

Priya looked her up and down. "We're seeing a bit much of you today, aren't we?"

_So that's how it is, huh? _Penny thought. "It's a little brave of you to wear such a... _clingy_ costume, isn't it?" Penny retorted with a smirk, referring to Priya's Cat Woman costume.

The two women stared at each other for a while before swiftly parting ways, Priya joining her friends and Penny joining Howard and Bernadette by the door.

"How long until Leonard gets here?" Penny asked.

"Well he's just text to say he's picked up the food and is on his way so... about five minutes."

"That's how you got him out of the apartment? You got him to pick up takeaway?"

Howard shrugged. "It was the easiest way. I'm going to tell people to start settling down so we're ready for when he arrives."

"Shall we get drinks?" Bernadette offered, gesturing to Leonard's desk, which had been cleared and set up with a range of alcoholic drinks and mixers.

As Penny poured herself a glass of wine, she couldn't help but smile to herself. Her costume was way better than Priya's. Leonard didn't even like Cat Woman that much. It was Leonard's birthday, and Priya couldn't do anything about Penny being there or what she was wearing.

Bernadette and Penny chatted for a few minutes about peoples costumes (Bernadette respectfully bitched about Priya's costume) before Howard told them all to hide quietly, having seen Leonard's car from the window. He switched off the lights and music, and the room waited in anticipation for Leonard to arrive.

As the sound of a key in the lock was heard, Penny thought about how happy Leonard would be about this and was grateful that the guys had thought of this, and that she had been invited. She knew this would be special for Leonard, since he hadn't had big birthday celebrations as a child, and he would be getting one at last.

The door opened and the room jumped up, yelling "Surprise!" Party Poppers exploded, balloons flew down from the ceiling, and disco lights came on as music started playing. Leonard dropped the takeaway food, grinning.

"Oh my God!" He exclaimed, looking around at all the people in the room.

As people gathered to wish him a happy birthday, Penny held back. She didn't want to be just another person in the crowd. Swirling the contents of her glass, she smiled as people started dancing. Eventually, Leonard began to free up. She waited until it was just him and Priya before walking over to him.

"Happy birthday sweetie!" She grinned enthusiastically, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. She was glad when he reciprocated by wrapping his arms around her, and she made sure to make the hug last longer than five Mississippi's.

"Aw, thank you, Penny!" He grinned at her as they pulled apart. "Hey, you wore the wig!"

"I know, it looks stupid," She tugged at a strand of wig hair. She knew she was just fishing for compliments, but the look on Priya's face was worth it.

"No, it looks great!" He assured her. "You look fantastic, Penny."

"Thank you," She giggled, striking a pose. "Okay, well I'm going to go get drunk on free booze. Enjoy your party!"

With a quick smirk at Priya, Penny leant in and kissed Leonard on the cheek, as close to his lips as she dared. As she pulled away, she grinned at her lipstick mark on his cheek, before skipping off happily.

Raj, Howard and Sheldon had bought Leonard a fancy Superman outfit, which he changed into, happily showing it off when he came out from the bedroom wearing it. Howard went round with a camera, taking photos of everybody in their costumes, and Sheldon insisted they have a best costume competition. Everybody voted for Leonard (Sheldon also voted for Leonard after Amy told him it's social protocol to vote for the birthday boy). Later, Priya brought out the birthday cake, which was Justice League of America themed, decorated with green candles. Everybody sung Happy Birthday, and there was silence as Leonard took a moment to make a wish and then blew out the candles, which was followed by cheering and clapping.

A few hours and a few drinks into the night, Penny spotted Priya with Raj, telling him off for trying to hit on one of her friends, who was married. She broke away from dancing with Amy, to join Leonard, who was choosing a beer.

"Hey you," Penny nudged him gently in the ribs. "Enjoying your party?"

"It's so great, I've never had a party just for me before," Leonard grinned. "I love it. Are you having fun?"

"Oh, definitely!" Penny giggled. She picked up the bottle of Tequila. "Tequila shots?"

"It's my birthday, why not!" Leonard put down his beer as Penny poured them each a shot, accidentally spilling some in her tipsy state (she refused to admit that she was anything more than tipsy yet). They prepared the salt and Leonard passed her a lime, taking one for himself.

"Ready?" Penny clinked her shot glass with Leonard's. "One, two, three-"

They each licked the salt off their hands, downed the shots and put the limes in their mouths, pulling faces, before bursting into giggles as they slammed the glasses down.

Priya walked over, empty glass in hand, looking between the two of them. "What's so funny?" She asked, trying to adapt a light tone.

"We're doing Tequila shots!" Leonard grinned.

"Hey, Leonard, remember that time when we did Tequila shots, and you licked the salt on my neck, and I put the lime in my mouth?" Penny wiggled her eyebrows at him, watching Priya out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, yeah, God that was ages ago!"

Priya stuck out her glass. "Leonard, could you pour me a glass of wine please?"

Leonard took the glass, and Penny took this opportunity to mix herself a drink. Spotting a stack of plastic cups, she smiled to herself as an idea formed in her mind. Putting down her mixed drink, she knocked over the stack with her hand.

"Oopsie," She looked from Leonard to Priya, before turning round and bending over to pick up the plastic cups she had dropped.

Leonard, not quite sober himself and forgetting Priya was next to him, couldn't help but stare as Penny bent over in that Wonder Woman costume. He snapped out of it as Penny stood up to put the cups back on the table and Priya cleared her throat.

"Oh, right, your wine, sorry Priya," Leonard filled up the rest of her glass before passing it back to her and picking up his own beer.

Penny picked up another beer and popped it open, before 'accidentally' spilling some on herself. "Oh, God, I'm so clumsy when I drink!" She pouted, setting her beer down and looking at her now wet chest, dripping with beer.

"Here, I'll help you with that," Leonard picked up a stack of napkins and started dabbing at her chest. Penny smirked at Priya over his shoulder.

"Let me take care of that," Priya said suddenly, taking the napkins from Leonard, who stepped back, looking slightly confused. "Could you get me a food platter, _sweetie_?"

Penny pulled a face at the way Priya said 'sweetie' to him in that tone, with that accent. Once Leonard had got to the counter, Priya turned to Penny.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" She asked quietly, the anger in her voice evident.

"What do you mean?" Penny asked innocently, a glimmer in her eye. "I'm not doing anything. I'm just clumsy when I drink."

"Stop messing with my boyfriend."

"Oh, I'm not messing with him," Penny smiled. "Messing with him would have been putting the lime in my mouth and making him get it from there. I did not do that, Priya." She picked up the drink she had mixed earlier. "Now, you can continue spying on me, or you can go and actually enjoy your boyfriends first proper birthday party."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Happy Easter! This is kind of a filler chapter, kind of a chapter to see a bit more of the other characters, and kinda some more 'ugh Priya sucks'. Thank you so much for the reviews, follows, favorites etc, keep them coming, I love to see what you all think :) Enjoy! **

* * *

Head pounding, Penny dragged herself over to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and sitting down at the counter. She took a few large gulps, relishing the hydration. Resting her head on her hands, she thought about the night before, trying to remember what had happened after she had convinced Amy and Bernadette to do a fifth round of Vodka shots, to no avail. A noise from the sofa caused her head to snap up. Rubbing her eyes, she walked over cautiously, jumping when she saw a figure tangled up in a blanket. As the figure continued to stir, she recognized the face of Amy Farrah Fowler. She got another bottle out of the fridge, and waited for her to fully wake.

"Penny?"

"Morning," Penny sat down on the armrest of the couch, handing Amy a bottle. "Feeling rough?"

Amy took a few gulps of water. "Indeed. Do you too, feel rough?"

"Yup," Penny sighed.

"Yay, besties feeling rough together! Is this what high school and college were supposed to be like?"

"Pretty much," Penny flopped down next to Amy once she had sat up. "Do you remember anything?"

Amy thought for a while. "I remember Sheldon telling me I'm going to regret drinking alcohol in the morning, and that you are a bad influence."

"That I am, that I am..."

"Oh, don't say that, I can assure you, from what I do remember, it was a hoot!"

* * *

Leonard lifted his head from the toilet seat for what felt like the hundredth time. He heard a foot tapping behind him and turned around to see Priya looking down at him.

"Hangover?" She handed him a bottle of water.

"Little bit," he muttered, taking the bottle and taking a few sips.

"Well you did drink a lot," Priya frowned.

"It was my birthday, I was allowed," He hauled himself up to the sink and rinsed his mouth with mouthwash. "Ugh, that's better."

"Perhaps you should go back to bed," Priya sighed. "Drink the water and try to sleep."

"Yeah..." He dragged himself past her and back into his bedroom, where he collapsed onto his bed and sprawled out. "God, I'm so tired."

"Considering the party ended at three and you've been up since five throwing up, that doesn't come as a surprise." She picked up her bag. "I'm going to take Raj back to the apartment, he passed out on the sofa but he's awake now. I'll be back later. Make sure you get some sleep."

Leonard gave her a half-hearted wave as she left, wishing she'd shut the light off before leaving. When he next woke, it was 2 in the afternoon, and he realized now how empty his stomach was. Slowly getting up, he shoved on his robe and shuffled into the kitchen. Sheldon was tidying the apartment; he gave Leonard and quick 'good morning' before continuing to pick up trash. Penny and Amy were sat at the counter, filling plates up with last nights leftovers.

"Morning," He mumbled, sitting down next to them and grabbing a plate.

"Rough night?" Penny asked, carefully putting crisps in a ham sandwich.

He nodded as he picked up a biscuit. "I think I feel as rough as you look."

"Hey, we don't look _that _bad," Penny frowned.

"May I interject here?" Sheldon turned around. "You all look equally terrible. If I didn't hold the knowledge that you all had hangovers, I would believe you were homeless alcoholics breaking into my home." He gave them a small smile, as though this were supposed to be some kind of compliment.

"Sheldon, as your girlfriend, I find that really offensive." Amy said.

"I'm sorry, Amy, but I can't lie." Sheldon shrugged.

"Wanna order a pizza or something? I don't think these leftovers are gonna help."

"Excuse me!" Sheldon turned around again. "It's not Pizza Night! It's Sunday afternoon, we do not have pizza on a Sunday afternoon."

"We're having pizza, Sheldon." Leonard took his phone from his robe pocket. "Shall I see if Howard and Bernadette want to come over too?"

A half hour later, a still blue Howard and Bernadette walked into apartment 4A, holding the pizza order, which they'd picked up on their way over. Sheldon had cleared the coffee table and couch area, so they all gathered there and sat down. Sheldon had agreed to join them, so he sat in his spot, looking around at his friends, a look of disapproval at their hungover states upon his face.

"We may all look like crap but it was a really great party," Leonard smiled, picking up a slice. "Thank you guys for doing that for me. I loved it, it was amazing."

"It was Howard's idea," Sheldon said. "The surprise party. I suggested that it be costume themed, because you like costumes, and I like dressing up as the Flash."

Once they had finished eating, Howard put the memory card from his camera into Leonard's laptop and they went through the photos, laughing more and more as they got further into the night. He then called Raj to see how he was doing, who told him that he had slept through most of the day and was going to stay away from beer for a while. Sheldon went to bed at nine, so the rest stayed up watching Sunday night TV quietly.

"We'd best get going," Howard sighed as it hit 11pm. "We have work in the morning and still need to get all this blue off. You need a ride home Amy?"

"Yes, please."

They stood, picking up their belongings and yawning.

"Thanks for calling us over," Bernadette thanked Leonard, as she hugged him goodbye.

"Goodbye, bestie," Amy grinned at Penny. "I'm not sure how I ended up there, but thank you for letting me crash on your couch."

Once Amy, Bernadette and Howard had left, Penny helped Leonard tidy away the empty pizza boxes and clear the dishes.

"Where's Priya?" She asked after a while, realizing that she hadn't seen her all day. It had been nice to hang out with everyone in this apartment again, without Priya keeping an eye on her.

"Oh, she left in the morning to take Raj home. She said she'd be back later, but I guess she's just sleeping there instead." Leonard shrugged, putting away a stack of plates. "I don't think she was too impressed with my hangover."

"She wasn't hungover?"

"I don't think she drank much."

Penny rolled her eyes. _Probably wanted to stay sober and keep an eye on me. Sneaky bitch_. "Well. At least you enjoyed your birthday." She smiled at him. " Did you know they were going to throw you a surprise party?"

"I actually had no clue! Sheldon asked me to go pick up the takeaway because he can't drive and Raj, Howard, Amy and Bernadette were coming over, so I thought fair enough. Then I got here and it was great!" He couldn't help his grin, he had loved having a real birthday party.

"Aw, I'm glad." She smiled at him. "Less hungover now?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm just glad I'm not being sick anymore. I spent like three hours in the bathroom by myself just throwing up whatever I drank last night."

"Priya didn't get up and help you out?" Penny raised a brow.

"No." Leonard frowned. "Though it's my fault. Would have been nice to get that bottle of water a bit earlier though, my throat felt like a desert."

Penny felt a surge of anger towards Priya. Could she not be bothered to get out of bed and bring him some water, or rub his back, bring him some comfort? Was she just judging him? She thought about the early mornings she'd spent in the bathroom with Leonard, both being sick and making sure the other was okay at the same time. And then she'd just left him after his birthday. What kind of girlfriend did that? Penny didn't like how many things she could find to dislike Priya for.

"At least you feel better now, right?"

"Yeah." Leonard nodded. He thought about the judgmental way Priya had looked at him that morning, and how she had decided to stay in bed despite knowing he was being sick. He had shrugged it off but now he thought of it, she could have at least checked on him earlier. "And you're good too?"

"Oh, I'm used to these." She waved it off with a giggle. "But yeah, I am. Just need to take a shower and get some sleep."

"Hmm, a shower would definitely help."

Penny bit her lip as the thought of Leonard in the shower filled her brain. What was it with him and showers? She thought about how Priya wasn't here, and Sheldon was asleep, and it was just her and Leonard, taking a step forward. A buzzing snapped her back and she quickly stepped away from Leonard, who was looking at her like he had that morning on the sofa. He cleared his throat as he looked at his phone, the culprit of the buzzing.

"Just email," He said, putting his phone back down.

"Oh." Penny smiled nervously. "Well, I'd better go. Breakfast shift tomorrow. Gotta take that shower!"

"Right, of course" Leonard nodded. "Well, see you around."

She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before heading out, hating whoever was in charge of making that email arrive at that moment, but at the same time thanking them for stopping anything more from happening when there was every chance Priya would walk through that door.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - This was inspired by a little something in Grey's Anatomy 1x09 when George gets syph. I formed it in my mind whilst mopping the floor after work - Sheldon is right, menial jobs make room for better thinking! Enjoy, and thank you for the follows/favs/reviews, it's nice to know people like reading my stuff! **

* * *

"Hey,"

Penny smiled, folding her last t-shirt, as she heard Leonard's voice. Placing the t-shirt in her laundry basket, she turned to face him. "Hey, you!"

"That's... a lot of clean laundry." Leonard observed.

"Yeah, well, you know I'm rubbish with laundry. I just kept forgetting to do it and I couldn't justify buying any more clothes."

"Fair explanation," Leonard chuckled, emptying his basket into a machine and pouring in powder and softener. "How've you been?"

Penny thanked whatever God there was that Leonard wasn't just ending the conversation. "I've had more shifts so more money coming in, but I spent it all on clothes... though I did manage to pay my rent and all my bills... so I guess not too bad!" She grinned proudly. "And you?"

"Well, I got some more funding for this experiment I didn't get to complete because there wasn't enough money for the right equipment, which is good."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Yeah, it kinda is," He couldn't hide the smile, he really was glad about this. "It's a really cool experiment and I think it could really go somewhere."

"Well, congratulations, I hope it does go somewhere - then you can finally give me a real answer whenever I ask 'what's new in physics'!"

He laughed, "I could!"

"Everything else going as well as work?" Penny asked, trying to cover her attempts to find out how things were going with Priya.

"I suppose, yeah, things are good." He smiled. His phone beeped and he looked at the screen. "Oh, that's my reminder, I'm going to the doctors clinic this afternoon."

Penny instantly filled with worry. "Is anything wrong?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine!" He waved it off. "I just went for a check-up and to renew my prescriptions. Priya also suggested we get... tests done... so I'm picking up those too."

"What tests?" Penny's mind had snapped into focus at the mention of Priya. What were they testing? Was she pregnant? Were they trying to get pregnant? Was she really ill? Endless possibilities ran through her head. "What did you get tests for?"

Leonard turned slightly red. He could tell by Penny's tone that she would pester him for an answer, though he wasn't sure why. "Oh, you know... sexually transmitted diseases and stuff."

Part of Penny relaxed with relief that Priya wasn't pregnant and that they weren't trying. But the other half of her went into overdrive. "What? Why? Does she have something? Because, if she does, that's too bad."

"No! Well, she said last time she checked she was fine, and I was too. But she just suggested that it would be a good thing to get checked, just in case or something." Leonard shrugged, still red.

Suddenly, it all clicked in Penny's mind. "Right. Well, okay. I have to go now." She grabbed her basket and almost ran up the stairs as the pieces all came together.

* * *

"You think I'm some kind of skank bitch passing on diseases to Leonard?" Penny asked angrily, slamming the door shut.

Priya looked up from her desk. "How did you get in here?"

"Oh, like I need an appointment to see you at work?" Penny scoffed.

"Actually... that's kind of how it works." Priya raised a brow. "I'm busy, Penny."

Dropping her bag into a chair by the door, Penny advanced towards the desk. "So you got yourself and Leonard tested because you think I gave him something?"

"I didn't say that." Priya looked at Penny, playing innocence, a slightly bemused expression on her face.

"So what, you just woke up and thought you'd magically caught something?" Penny leant on the desk. "I don't know if either of you have any symptoms or anything. I don't even want to know. But I'm clear. So if you're trying to pin the blame on me, or something, nice try. I know you hate me but I'm not, like, Typhoid Mary Magdalene or whatever!"

Priya shrugged. "I didn't say you were."

"So why? Because you either think I _am _that kind of skank, or you slept with someone and caught something and want to keep the reason secret." She raised her brows. "Which is it?"

"Fine." Priya held her hands up. "I don't trust you. Sheldon's mentioned all the men going in and out of your apartment. I believe... thirty-one sexual partners? Can you blame me for being cautious?"

"Oh, my God, it's not thirty one!" Penny felt herself getting angry at how Priya was using this as her reason for blaming her. "What you did is really low, Priya. I would have told Leonard if I knew he might need to get checked. He's my friend and I care about him. What I did was wrong, and not fair on you, but that's on me. Instead of doing that to Leonard, you could have just asked me. Call me a bitch and hate me all you want for sleeping with your boyfriend, but don't start assuming the worst about me. I thought you had more sense and respect than that."

"Okay. I'm sorry." Priya said after a moment of silence. "But I still don't trust you, Penny."

"I know you don't. You eye me like a hawk. You don't leave Leonard's side if I'm there." Penny picked up her bag. "You know, I don't know why you're not telling Leonard that you know, and I'm surprised that he hasn't figured out, since you've gone all crazy strict controlling girlfriend on him. But if I ever find out that you've cheated on him, I will tell him, because he doesn't deserve to be hurt like that. Obviously he likes you and wants your relationship to work out, for whatever reason. You do something to hurt him, and I will go Nebraska Junior Rodeo on your ass."

"Oh, so all your flirting at his birthday was what... normal slutty Penny?"

Penny narrowed her eyes, and left the room, slamming the door shut before she exploded with outrage.

* * *

Bernadette, Amy and Penny stepped out of her apartment, just as Leonard and Priya came up the stairs to the fourth floor.

"Hey guys," Leonard greeted them, taking his keys from his pocket. "Girls night, I'm guessing from the outfits?"

Amy grinned. "Why else would we dress like this?" She flicked her hair back.

Penny noticed the way Priya had looked her up and down. Maybe it was the wine they'd just had while getting ready, but she felt slightly more daring. "I'm sorry Priya, is this too _slutty_ a dress?"

Leonard raised a brow as Bernadette and Amy exchanged confused looks. Meanwhile, Priya assumed a confused expression too and shrugged. "It's a little on the short and revealing side." She took Leonard by the arm, breaking his gaze from Penny, which had not gone unnoticed by Priya and Penny. "Come on, Leonard. Let's go to bed."

With that, she practically dragged him towards his apartment. Once they were inside, Bernadette turned to Penny. "What was that about?"

"It's obvious, Priya is clearly jealous of Penny's perfect body." Amy said simply. "Who isn't?"

"Aww, thanks Ames." Penny grinned, deciding to ignore Bernadette's question. It was easier than making something up. "Come on, I can hear the cocktails are calling our names!"

* * *

**A/N - Thank you Grey's Anatomy for planting this idea! Hope you all enjoyed Penny giving Priya a bit of her mind and letting her know she still cares and stuff. I hope it came across in the right way. **


	6. Chapter 6

"Leonard?!"

Penny stopped in her tracks, caught between laughter and speechlessness. As he sat up in response to hearing his name, she grinned. Yes: that was indeed Leonard using the bench press, in black shorts and a white t-shirt.

He picked his glasses up from the side, blushing slightly. "Penny?"

"You go to the gym?"

"Uh, yeah, I do." Leonard shrugged shyly.

"Since when?"

"Well, I thought it would be good to get in shape. Priya suggested it." He added on to the end, almost like he was blaming rather than thanking her for the suggestion.

"Ah," Penny gave a small nod, finally recovering from the surprise of seeing Leonard at the gym, of all places. "How long have you been going?"

"A couple of weeks," Leonard confessed. "Every Tuesday. You go to this gym too?"

"Yeah, you picked me up from here once, remember?"

"How come I've never seen you here?" Leonard lay back down on the bench.

"Oh," Penny stepped closer to the bench to let a jogger past. "I used to go on Thursdays. But they changed my shifts at work, so I get Tuesday off instead of Thursday... so now I go to the gym on Tuesday."

"Cool, we could be gym buddies!" Leonard grinned.

Penny let out a small laugh. She had to admit, it would be pretty fun to have someone with her. Though if he ever told Priya they were at the gym together, she would probably have to move to the other side of the world. _Screw it. He probably won't tell her anyway. He knows she doesn't like me. Besides, it was idea to hang out on the 'down low'. _"Yeah, that would be pretty cool." She grinned. "Wanna join me on the treadmills?"

"I've just got ten more of these to do," Leonard set his hands on the bar. "And then I'll join you."

Penny nodded. Her jaw dropped slightly as he lifted the weights. "Hello there muscles," She said, almost seductively.

"Shut up," Leonard said through gritted teeth as he continued to lift, not registering her tone.

She let out a nervous giggle, unable to tear her eyes away from his arms. They weren't massive, extreme muscles like other guys she'd been with. They were neatly defined, and each time they tensed she could have sworn they were calling 'look at me, Penny!' to her. She cleared her throat and looked around awkwardly as Leonard released the bar and sat back up and drank from his water bottle.

"So, treadmills?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah," Penny raised her brows and led the way over to the treadmills, picking two, which were free in front of a large mirror.

"I usually go for the ones further from the mirrors so I don't have to see myself," Leonard said, adjusting the settings on his machine.

"I use them to watch other people," Penny grinned, placing her Hello Kitty water bottle in the holder as she began a slow, uphill walk.

"I see Hello Kitty is back," Leonard chuckled, starting his machine to a light jog.

"Yup," Penny grinned, watching him in the mirror. "

They spent a half hour on the treadmills, daring each other to go faster and increase the incline. Leonard used his inhaler a few times, though tried not to. He couldn't decide if he'd be more embarrassed if he didn't take one of Penny's dares, or if he used his inhaler too frequently. Eventually they both finished, and he turned around to take a few deep puffs. They moved onto the ellipticals, before moving onto the Power Plates.

"Hey, you wanna see who can lift the most on the bench press?" Penny asked, as they walked back past the bench presses, deciding what to do next. "I've never tried it."

"Sure, but be careful, they're for real tough, muscly guys. Like me." Leonard joked, as they each lay down on a bench.

Penny knew she was going to lose, but she didn't care. She usually used the lighter 'girl' weights, more to keep her arms toned than build significant muscles. They started off light, and soon enough she had to stop, but she did so gladly. Sitting up to watch Leonard and cheer him on, she was continually impressed, as the weight got heavier than she had expected. Eventually he too admitted defeat, his face slightly red from the effort, wiping his forehead with a towel.

"Okay, you win," Penny smiled.

Leonard looked at the weights on Penny's bar. "Try go one heavier."

"I can't, I barely managed what's on there already!" Penny protested, but she flopped back down on the bench anyway.

"Bet you can." Leonard added a small weight on either side. "Ready?"

Penny nodded, setting her hands on the bar. "When did you become such a pro at this anyway?"

Leonard shrugged. "Apparently it's one of the most popular gym activities. I wanted to get good so I didn't look stupid."

"If I manage to lift this, you're paying for my Green Juice. If I can't, I'll... buy you a comic book. Deal?"

"Okay, deal. Now stop trying to get out of it. Ready?"

"Yeah, ready."

As Penny slowly lifted, groaning in the effort, Leonard couldn't help but stare. He hadn't really noticed it earlier, but her crop top showed off her toned stomach, and the tight shorts she was wearing showed her tanned legs off. As she dropped the bar back down, gasping and panting from the effort, his mind was transported to a completely different situation, where she was on his bed instead of a bench press.

"God, that was hard." She said as she sat up, grabbing her water bottle.

"Yeah," Leonard cleared his throat, glancing back up to look at her. "You did it though!"

"Just about... so, you now owe me a Green Juice!" She grinned, getting off the bench. "I'm pretty worn out, how about we go now?"

"Works for me."

"I had Spin class this morning, so I think I win." Penny said as they walked towards the doors exiting the gym area.

"Win what?" Leonard raised a brow.

"You know, I did more exercise than you today, so I win."

"Oh, okay. I guess you do." Leonard chuckled.

As they approached the door, they both reached for the handle at the same time, and their hands met. They both looked at each other briefly, before Penny let go and Leonard opened the door, gesturing for her to go through first. They walked awkwardly for a few seconds, before the reached the end of the hall.

"So, umm, I'll see you in the lobby?" Penny looked up at him.

"Sure."

One second they were standing there looking at each other, the next they were kissing, neither of them sure what had happened in those seconds in between. It wasn't slow and gentle, like it had started last time, but fierce and passionate. Penny found herself pulling away in order to lead them to a bathroom, not even daring to question why Leonard was following her, why he wasn't pulling away or asking her to stop. Leonard himself had no thoughts in his mind other than Penny, stuck in the moment. He locked the door before backing Penny up against it, continuing the kiss.

* * *

"Well... I've never done that before."

Penny giggled, shoving her crop top back on. "Another crazy thing you can add to your list."

"What?"

"You know... sex in the ocean, sex in a gym bathroom..."

"Oh, yeah," He grinned. He picked up the Hello Kitty water bottle, which had rolled under the sink. "Don't forget your water bottle."

"Thanks," _Hello Kitty. It's always Hello Kitty. _

"So..." Penny picked up her sneakers. "Green Juice?"

"Sure," Leonard nodded, unlocking the door.

They walked back towards the changing rooms, satisfied smiles playing on their faces. "Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"I know... it's kind of stupid. And bitchy of me to ask you to keep things from your girlfriend but... can you not tell Priya you saw me at the gym?"

To her relief, he nodded. "I won't tell her."

"Thank you." She gave him a small smile, half apologetic, half thankful, before heading into the women's changing room.

* * *

Sitting at a small table drinking Green Juice, they continued to talk like best friends, neither bringing up what had just happened at the gym. They seemed to have come to a mutual, silent agreement that it was easier and better not to talk or overthink the situation. Leonard briefly wondered why he didn't feel guiltier for cheating on Priya, but the thought was pushed to the back of his mind. To his knowledge, no harm had been done to his and Priya's relationship. Maybe he _was _the kind of guy who hung out with his ex-girlfriend on the 'down-low'... and neither Penny nor Leonard had a problem with this new change in him.

* * *

**A/N - This was going to happen at some point or another, and I decided this would be a good time. The heart wants what the heart wants. Thanks for the reviews guys, love seeing what you think! Also, for those of you who reviewed 'You Know I Love You' thank you for the lovely reviews! **


	7. Chapter 7

Penny felt her heart drop, as well as her notebook, when she saw Priya walk into the restaurant with Leonard. _Of course she would go here with him, _she thought as she bent down to pick up her notebook. Just as she figured she'd best busy herself with another table, Priya waved at her, calling her name. She suppressed an eye-roll as she walked over to the table.

"Hey," She tapped her pen against her notebook.

"Isn't it nice that Penny's here to serve our table while we're on our date?" Priya grinned at Leonard.

"Uh huh," Penny began to tap her pen faster. Every little thing Priya did got under her skin. "What can I get you?"

"We haven't had a look at the menu yet," Priya pointed out.

"Fine. Here," She passed each of them a menu.

"That's okay," Leonard smiled at her, not taking the menu. "You already know my order!"

Penny grinned. "That's true!" She took his menu. "You just take your time Priya." She couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "Would you like me to bring you a drink while you decide?"

"Diet coke," Priya said, not looking up from her menu.

As Penny poured Leonard's usual diet coke, she decided to borrow Bernadette's idea and pour Priya a full fat coke. It was stupid, but she didn't care. She brought the drinks over and took Priya's order, before walking off again to put the orders in. She served a few other tables, before heading to the kitchens to collect Leonard & Priya's food. Just before picking up the tray holding their food, she undid one of the buttons of her shirt. Maybe it wasn't 'following the uniform code' and Leonard probably wouldn't notice, but Priya's hawk eye would, and it would annoy her. Smiling at her reasoning, she picked up the tray and walked over to their table.

"Here's your food!" She grinned, purposefully leaning towards Leonard as she put his plate down.

"You missed a button," Leonard pointed out once she had straightened up.

She hid a grin as she looked down at her shirt. "Oh, you're right! Oops," She said, as she did the button back up. "Silly me! Thanks for pointing that out, it would have been so embarrassing if I'd gone round serving tables with my shirt half undone!"

"Maybe you'd get better tips?" Priya joked, though Penny could see beneath the fake laugh.

"Yeah... no, I don't think I would. Anyway, you two enjoy your meals."

Deciding she would be more at peace busying herself rather than focusing on Priya's obvious attempt to dangle the fact that she was on a date with Leonard, she waited on as many tables as she could. Later, a bus boy informed her that they wanted to order desserts, so she went back over, wishing they'd just leave and finish their date. Though on second thought, if they were here they weren't alone at his place, which she decided was definitely better.

"So, you're actually ordering dessert today Leonard?"

"Well, you know, working out at the gym means getting to eat dessert." He grinned to cover up his smirk.

"Mm, I bet it does."

"Plus, I can't avoid all the lactose in the world, so... yeah, dessert!"

"Good decision, our desserts are delicious. We do like, a million kinds of cheesecake."

"Well, it _is _the Cheesecake Factory." Priya said.

"I know." Penny raised a brow. "So would you like some cheesecake?"

"Strawberry cheesecake." Priya put her dessert menu down.

"I'll have the chocolate cheesecake. But can I have it without the whipped cream bit on top?" Leonard asked. "I think that's going overboard with lactose."

"I'll see what I can do." Penny smiled, before walking off to collect a slice of each from the kitchens. She returned quickly, not having bothered to ask if there was any slice without whipped cream. She placed the desserts down on the table, giving Leonard an apologetic look. "Sorry, there were only slices with whipped cream."

"Oh, well, that's okay." She shrugged, though looked uncertain.

"I'll get rid of it for you." Penny said, a glint in her eye. She used her pointer finger to scrape the whipped cream off, before slowly sucking it off. "Mmm... oh God that's good."

"I don't think scraping whipped cream off a customers cheesecake is hygienic." Priya said, glaring at Penny.

Penny shrugged, not bothering to hide her smirk. "That's fine, Leonard doesn't mind, do you?"

"What?" He looked away from Penny, clearing his throat, as Priya kicked him under the table. "Oh, um, yeah, thanks, Penny."

"Not a problem, sweetie." She grinned as she walked off.

Once again busying herself with other tables, she couldn't help but feel slightly happier. Maybe she was doing stupid, petty, pointless things to get Leonard's attention and annoy Priya, but it was working. She thought about what Priya would do if she found out about her and Leonard's little rendezvous at the gym. Just as she walked over to a table near Leonard & Priya's to take an order, her happiness and smugness quickly faded.

Priya was smiling, holding a forkful of cheesecake, looking at Leonard. And it was at that moment, in earshot of Penny, whether she knew she would hear it or not, that Priya said the phrase "I love you."

Penny stopped in her tracks and quickly turned around, heading to the staff area where the lockers and staff toilets were. She tore off her apron, chucking it on the floor, before leaning against the lockers, her head in her hands.

She shook as hot tears fell from her eyes. There they were; those three words that Penny hadn't been able to say to Leonard. The difference between her and Priya. The reason she was crying in the staff area of the Cheesecake Factory, and not on a date with Leonard. She felt sick, and she wasn't sure if she was angry or upset.

How could Priya say those three words to Leonard? Penny's fists curled into balls as she thought angrily about how Priya had been changing Leonard. She made him go to the gym, wear new clothes, try contacts instead of glasses. She'd stopped him from going to the comic book store every week, and made fun of his collectibles. Priya loved the man she had created, not the real Leonard. She then wondered if Leonard would say it back. _Of course he will. He probably said it first. _

Penny knew she had feelings for Leonard, but hadn't she still had feelings for Kurt after they'd broken up, too? This was normal, she told herself. Of course it was going to hurt. Eventually this would get easier, right? She just had to get used to it. It was probably easier getting over Kurt because she'd moved away; she didn't have to see him with other women. Of course it was going to be harder with Leonard being her neighbor; she saw him constantly and now she had to see his new girlfriend constantly too. If the situation were reversed, Leonard would probably feel the same way. But still, this hurt like a bitch.

She walked over to a sink and splashed some water over her face before sitting down on the bench against the wall, trying to control her emotions. She had another hour left of her shift, and she needed that hours pay. Besides, what would she say to her manager? 'I'm not quite over my ex yet, can I go home early?' - that was hardly an excuse to go home. Checking herself in the mirror to make sure her eyes were no longer red and swollen, she tied her apron back on, taking a deep breath before stepping back out.

To her relief, Leonard and Priya were gone. They had left a tip - or rather, Leonard had left a tip. Priya had left her mushed-up cheesecake remains and a spilt glass of full fat coke.


	8. Chapter 8

Howard opened the door to apartment 4A, standing proudly, a grin on his face.

"Guess who just picked up his new Vespa?"

"Dude, you finally got it?" Raj got up excitedly.

"Oh!" Sheldon frowned. "You didn't let me guess! And since I do not know anybody else who rides a Vespa, I was going to guess you."

"I think his question was rhetorical." Amy pointed out.

"Anyway... who wants to come down and see it!"

The group excitedly followed Howard downstairs, everybody pestering him to let them have a go. They all admired it once they got outside, before continuing to argue about who gets the first go.

"Alright!" Bernadette said loudly after a few minutes. "I'm his girlfriend, I get the first go!"

"You sure you can handle the Vespa, Bernie?" Howard asked as he passed her the helmet.

"Oh, please." She put the helmet on and settled herself onto the Vespa. She rode off with a grin on her face.

Once she returned, Raj insisted he go next since he was Howard's best friend. Sheldon went next, although he only sat on it, as Howard refused to let him ride his Vespa considering his severe lack of driving skills. Amy went next, going round the block a few times, screaming with joy at how 'cool' she must look.

Penny approached them in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, returning home from work. After scanning the group quickly and seeing that Priya was not there, she came over to join them.

"Hey guys! Ooh, new Vespa? Let me guess, Howard's?"

"Picked this baby up today!" He patted the seat proudly.

"Nice! Can I have a go?"

"Sure!"

"Hey, I thought I was next?" Leonard frowned.

"You're letting Leonard have a go?" Penny giggled. "Umm, do you not remember that time a stationary motorcycle fell on him?"

Leonard glared at Penny before turning to Howard. "I swear, I can ride one, that was just... really heavy."

"Yeah... I've reconsidered my earlier answer. You can't have a go at riding my Vespa." Howard shrugged. "Sorry buddy. It's new."

"That's okay, Leonard can sit behind me while I ride." Penny grinned, passing her bag to Amy and sitting down. She patted the space behind her. "Get on!"

Leonard looked at her nervously for a second. He was pretty certain Priya wouldn't approve of this. But hey, she wasn't here. Besides, he wanted a go on the Vespa, and this was probably the only way he'd get to have a go. He got on behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. He found himself inhaling the scent of her shampoo, the perfume on her neck, the scent of cheesecake on her uniform. A small smile flitted across his face.

Penny gripped the handlebars tightly as she felt his arms come around her waist, and his legs enclose hers. It's was almost like the time... no, this wasn't the time to think of that. _Especially not on Howard's Vespa. Ew. _But as she pushed that thought back, another came to the front of her mind.

"Hey, Ames, my phone's in my bag. Can you take a photo?" She asked with a wicked grin.

"Good idea, bestie!" She dug Penny's phone from her bag. "I want a photo when you guys get back."

Penny allowed herself to lean into Leonard as Amy took the photo, tilting her head back slightly. Leonard placed one hand on Penny's leg, the other snaking further around her waist.

"You manage to make that uniform look so sexy," Amy beamed once she had taken the photo.

"What can I say, it's one of my many talents. You ready, Leonard?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist again. "Yup."

Penny hear Howard yell "Don't crash my Vespa!" as she rode off, speeding up as fast as she could.

Penny quickly became very aware of Leonard's breath on her neck. It made her shudder; she could almost feel his warm lips on her neck. Somewhere in her mind he was kissing her neck, stopping to tease her by grazing his tongue against her skin every so often. In her mind he was unbuttoning her shirt, he was pressed up right against her and she could feel his heart beating. Suddenly they were going too fast, and Penny took a deep breath, trying to control her imagination. But he was breathing on her neck, that was real, and just that little thing was driving her imagination wild. She started to slow the Vespa down, pulling over outside a grocery store which was closed for the evening.

"Why are we pulling over?"

"You have to stop," She realized then that she was slightly breathless.

"What?"

"You need to stop breathing on my neck like that, I can't..." She took a deep breath. "I can't drive this stupid thing properly if you keep doing that."

"Are you asking me not to breathe?"

Penny couldn't help but giggle at slow he could be. "No, you just... just don't breathe on my neck."

"O-kay..." He turned his head slightly. "Is this better for you?"

"Uh-huh,"

"How is my breathing even distracting?"

"It just is, okay?" Penny rolled her eyes. There really was no proper answer unless she told him the real reason, and if he hadn't worked that out for himself, then it was best not to tell him. "Ready?"

She heard him say 'yes' and rode off again, round a few blocks before heading back to the apartment. She tried to keep her focus on the road, rather than the man behind her. Upon arrival they both hopped off quickly, Leonard's mind finally getting there in understanding as to why she had told him to stop breathing on her neck. He watched her as she collected her bag from Amy, and thanked Howard for letting her drive his Vespa. Penny then took a photo of Amy on it. His focus on her was broken when Sheldon insisted they go back inside before they were mistaken for hooligans hanging about on the sidewalk at this 'late hour'.

The group invited Penny in for dinner; they were ordering Chinese food. She agreed to join them, looking forward to hanging out with everybody again. She sat with the girls, gossiping over a bottle of wine, while the guys went to collect the food. Amy begged her to put the photo of her on the Vespa up on Facebook, so that her friends could see that she was now a 'cool kid' - so Penny took this opportunity to upload her photo too.

She knew Priya would see it - she had, for some reason, accepted her friend request - although Penny now wondered if Priya had added her merely for the sake of Leonard, and to keep an eye on her. _Well this is your lucky day, Priya, _Penny thought as she hit the 'upload' button. Amy squealed in excitement that her photo was now on the internet, and Penny hid a smirk as she tagged herself and Leonard.

The guys came back with the food, and, to Penny's dismay, they had picked up Priya too. Did she have to be there _all _the time? Though, as Penny thought about it, she used to spend most of her time with Leonard too. Priya looked annoyed to see Penny there, but she didn't bring it up in front of everybody. There was a sort of silent agreement between them to try and get along and act normal around everybody else - which was much easier to do if they didn't talk to or sit near each other. Priya sat next to Leonard on the couch. Penny sat on the chair next to the armchair, keeping herself in conversation with Raj, who was next to her, and had had a few beers. While the evening passed pretty well, Penny still didn't like how different it was with Priya there. She found she spoke less, maybe because she didn't want to sound stupid when Priya was there, or maybe just because it seemed like Priya just wouldn't shut up. It was also strange to see Leonard on the couch, next to Sheldon, with Priya at the end. They never seemed to have the closeness that Penny used to have with Leonard, where they'd both sit on the armchair together, a little squashed but content and comfortable. As she turned her attention away from them, she smiled when she saw Raj looking at Leonard and Priya with a look of disapproval. At least she was the only one who didn't appreciate them being together - even if it was for different reasons.

Penny's focus was drawn back to the group when she heard her name.

"And Penny reminded me that Leonard once fell off a stationary motorbike - so I just couldn't let him go on my brand new Vespa," Howard was saying to Priya.

"You fell off a _stationary _motorbike?" Priya laughed.

"It wasn't so much that he fell _off _it... it was more than it managed to fall _on _him," Penny found herself giggling too, remembering the whole situation being explained to her.

"It was a heavy motorbike!" Leonard protested, frowning. "And I still got to go on the Vespa."

"Howard let you?" Priya raised a brow, turning back to Howard. "You changed your mind?"

"No, I let him sit behind me while I rode it," Penny grinned. Leonard was the one who had brought it up, what was wrong with continuing the conversation?

"Oh, that's... nice of you." Priya tried to keep her tone friendly. "So the two of you were on the Vespa?"

"Yup," Penny took her phone out of her pocket, passing it along to Priya. "I even have a photo."

Priya took the phone and looked at the photo. No matter how hard she was trying to conceal it, anger and jealousy flashed across her face, and she looked up at Penny with a cold expression. After a few seconds she passed her phone back, adjusting her face to a friendly smile, turning back to Leonard.

"Did you enjoy it?"

Leonard nodded. "Yeah, it was great!"

"Well maybe Howard will let me have a go some time and you can go with me," She gave him a quick kiss before turning to look pointedly at Penny, and back to Leonard. "You know, a romantic girlfriend-boyfriend ride in the dark."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I don't think that's romantic unless you're in Italy." She put down the remains of her Chinese food and stood up. Her work here was done, Priya had seen the photo and was clearly annoyed and jealous. "I'm going to try get an early night. Howard, thank you for letting me ride the Vespa. Leonard and I had an _amazing _ride."

* * *

**A/N - Yup the last word 'ride' was a euphemism, but it did also refer to the Vespa ;) The original ending to this chapter I wrote was very different, a bit... harsher? But I'm saving that for later for a chapter with more feelings. Appreciating all your reviews, so keep them coming! **


	9. Chapter 9

Leonard frowned at his phone as he got up from his desk and walked across to Penny's apartment as instructed. "Penny?"

"Behind the counter!"

He walked over quickly, to find Penny lying face forward on the floor, a cut on her forehead in her hairline and her left arm swollen, her phone in her right hand.

"Oh my God, are you okay?"

"My face is bleeding and my arm looks like it ate all the cheesecake, do I look okay?" She glared at him. "Help me sit up!"

He rolled her onto her side and gently sat her up so she was leaning against the counter. He grabbed a clean kitchen towel and pressed it to the cut on her forehead. "What happened?"

"I spilt some oil and I was going to clean it up but I really needed to pee, and I was coming back over but I forgot about the oil and then I slipped and I think I hit my head on the counter when I fell, and I had my phone in my pocket so I text you," She rushed her words as tears started to form in her eyes. "And now my head feels like someone is trying to operate on my brain while I'm awake and my arm is really heavy!"

As she burst into tears, Leonard put a hand on her right arm to comfort her. "Shh, it's okay. I'm going to take you to the ER and they can clean that cut up and see what you did to you arm, okay? And they can give you some medication for the pain. Does anything else hurt?"

Penny shook her head, wiping her eyes with her right hand.

"I'm going to help you stand up," Leonard wrapped one arm around her to hold her left shoulder carefully, the other coming round the front to hold her waist. "Ready?" He hoisted her up, and she leant on him for a few seconds, blinking rapidly, before letting go. She put her good hand on his arm for support, stabilizing herself. "Does that feel okay?"

"Just a little dizzy." She took a deep breath.

"Okay, well you hold on, and we'll get you down to the car, but you tell me if it gets worse because I don't want you passing out on the stairs or anything."

She nodded, and they slowly walked out of her apartment, Leonard grabbing her coat and keys on the way out before shutting the door. They stepped into his apartment to get his keys from the bowl, before continuing slowly down the stairs. Leonard asked every few seconds if she was okay, noting the paleness of her face, but she insisted she was fine. Once he had gotten her into the car, he quickly hopped into the drivers seat, again checking that she was okay. He passed her the kitchen towel to press to her forehead to stem the bleeding; she didn't seem to care that it had trickled down her face. He drove quickly, glancing over when he could to make sure that she was still conscious. She didn't speak, keeping her eyes closed and taking deep breaths. They arrived in quick time and he checked her in to the ER, where they sat down in the corner while he filled out her forms, surprised at how easy it was to answer most of the questions for her.

* * *

"Your X-Ray is clear, it's just a bad bruise and you've hit a nerve, but it will be fine." Doctor Hahn, who had been put in charge of Penny's case, put the X-Rays he was holding on his desk. "I will give you a sling to keep your arm elevated, as well as some strong painkillers to get you through the worst of the pain. No driving - they will make you drowsy, but by tomorrow you should be feeling much better. Your forehead will bruise but not too badly, it will feel a little tender for a few days. The stitches won't scar either, and as the cut is on your hairline it won't be that visible, even with the bruising. So you are fine to go home and get some rest. Does that sound okay with you?"

Penny nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"I will get your discharge forms and painkillers, and put the sling on."

As the doctor left, Penny turned to Leonard. "Sorry for ruining your day... you probably didn't need to spend your day off in the ER."

"Oh, that's okay," Leonard smiled at her. "I was just going to watch Babylon 5 and leave the disc in to annoy Sheldon when he got home."

"Aw," She managed a small giggle. "Thank you for holding my hand when they stitched my forehead and took my blood. I know you hate needles."

"Well they were stitching your head! I wasn't going to just sit in the corner while they did that."

Doctor Hahn returned and put the sling on Penny, before signing her discharge papers and administering a strong painkiller now that she had been sorted out. They both thanked Doctor Hahn and he led them out. As they drove home, Leonard noticed the painkillers kicking it; she kept giggling at everything, animatedly describing the cars and buildings outside. Getting her back upstairs to the apartment was difficult, as she kept tripping up the steps. Finally he got her back into the apartment, and into her bedroom.

"Thank you Leonard," She grinned as she sat down on the bed, wiggling her legs like a child.

"You're welcome," He smiled. "I'll get you a bottle of water, and then you have to sleep, okay?"

She nodded, still grinning widely, and he quickly grabbed a bottle from the fridge, setting it down on her nightstand.

"Leonard, I can't go to sleep wearing this vest," Penny frowned. "It's all sticky and oily. I want a different one!"

"Okay," He went over to the drawer he knew held her t-shirts, pulling out her Nebraska Huskers oversized t-shirt. "Is this one okay?"

"Yup!" She began to pull her top up with just her right hand, stopping when she worked out that with her left arm in a sling, this would not be possible. "Help me! I'm stuck!"

Leonard walked over, carefully maneuvering the vest over her left arm, finally pulling it off over her head and throwing it into the wash basket.

"Look, I'm topless!" Penny giggled.

"O-kay, let's get this t-shirt on you," Leonard rushed over, pulling it over her head quickly.

"You don't like seeing me topless anymore?" Penny frowned dramatically, as he tried to get her left arm in without messing up the sling. "Are you saying I look fat?! Is that why?"

"No, Penny-" Leonard sighed as she started moving her right arm around as he tried to get it in through the arm hole. "Penny, stop moving, I can't get the top on you!"

"Okay-dokay, Doctor."

Leonard sighed, but luckily she stopped moving so he could get the t-shirt on her properly. "There. Now come on, lets get you tucked in. You have _got _to get some sleep."

"On your orders, Doctor Hofstadter," Penny winked as she shuffled up to the bed, where Leonard helped her under the covers. "Mm, I'm comfortable."

"Good," He smiled. "Now, try get some sleep. You should be starting to feel pretty drowsy soon."

"Can I have a kiss on my forehead?" She pouted. "I have a boo-boo." She pointed with her right hand to the bandage which was covering her stitches.

Leonard sighed. How could he say no? He leant forward and kissed her forehead. As he pulled back, Penny grabbed his t-shirt, pulling him forward as she tried to kiss him.

"Penny, no, what are you doing?" He tried to gently pull her hand off his t-shirt.

"I want to kiss you!" She lifted her head, her eyes closed, her lips still trying to find his while she giggled.

"I think that's just the painkillers..."

"Oh, but I love you! I want to kiss you!"

Leonard paused for a moment at her words as she continued trying to kiss him, but his thoughts were interrupted when she managed to plant her lips on his. "No, Penny, you can't do that."

"Oh yeah," She pulled a face and stuck her tongue out. "Priya. Duh! Stupid silly Priya! I do _not _love Priya." She let go of him and pulled her comforter up to her chin.

"Yeah... Priya." Leonard straightened out his t-shirt, his mind in serious overdrive. "Get some sleep, okay? And text me when you wake up so I know you're okay."

"Okay." Penny shut her eyes, the drowsiness taking over her. "Goodnight Doctor Hofstadter."

"Good night, Penny." Leonard stood and looked at her for a few seconds, trying to work out what had just happened. But as Penny began to snore gently, he realized he wouldn't be able to find an answer until Penny woke up. And that was if she even remembered anything once the medication wore off. Sighing and rubbing his temples, he walked back to his apartment and hit 'play' on the DVD remote, resuming from where he had paused when he had received Penny's text that morning.

* * *

**A/N - There is a kind of second part to this chapter, the post-drama ****over thinking bit, which I will try my best to post tomorrow! So get those reviews in ;) I would actually really massively appreciate them for this chapter so I can see what you think before I put the next part up, especially if there are certain things you'd like to see that I may have skipped over. Also I went to a comic book store the other day! **

**On another note, my prayers and thoughts go out to those affected by the recent events in Boston. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Ta-da, next-day update! :) **

* * *

"Hey, you're up!" Leonard grinned, as he opened the door to Penny. "How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good, whatever they gave me at the hospital really helped. I slept for ages and they pain is _way _better now." Penny smiled. "Do you remember if they said anything about how long it's gonna take until I can stop wearing this stupid bandage on my forehead?"

"Oh, just until tomorrow I think. So the cut doesn't get infected and stuff."

"Good, it is _so _hard to put make-up on with this bandage. And the sling. Took me so long! Did they say anything about the sling?"

"When your arm is less swollen and you feel okay to move it properly." Leonard reminded her. "Though it looks less - what was the phrase you used yesterday? - like it ate all the cheesecake."

"Ah... yeah, that I remember. Hey, thanks for everything yesterday." She put a hand on his arm.

Priya arrived at the door behind Penny, just getting in from her day at work.

"Oh, hello, Penny."

Penny stepped aside to let her into the apartment. "Hi, Priya."

She looked at Penny, suddenly realizing the bandage on her forehead and the sling holding her arm. "What happened to you?"

Penny wondered if she was imagining the slightly happy tone in Priya's voice, or if she actually _was _happy that Penny was injured. "Oh, I slipped yesterday. Hit my forehead and... did something to my arm. I dunno, I can't remember. It's okay though. Leonard took me to the ER, and I've had like a gazillion hours sleep."

"Oh, that's good that you got some sleep. Leonard, I'm going to wash up and make some dinner."

Penny and Leonard watched as Priya put her stuff down and walked to the bathroom. Leonard turned back to Penny and asked her the question which had been at the forefront of his mind ever since yesterday. "So do you remember... anything... from yesterday?"

"Umm, I remember everything up until we got in the car to get back. I guess that's the beauty of those painkillers. Why?"

"Oh..." Leonard frowned, and felt his heart drop slightly. "Nothing?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Just wondering." Leonard shrugged it off. How could she not remember? Maybe she didn't mean that she _actually _loved him. Saying stupid things you couldn't remember when you woke up was probably the side effect of strong painkillers. A little like the morning after a night out. But still, people didn't just say stuff like that if they had never thought of it, did they? When people were drunk, they often said stuff they wouldn't say out loud if they were sober. Leonard remembered that from nights where Penny had come home drunk from her nights out with her girlfriends. Did that apply to medication too? He had no idea, he wasn't a doctor. He considered asking his mother, she would probably know the answer. But that would involve talking to her, and explaining the situation. He didn't want to tell his mother that he, her son, had cheated on his girlfriend. He didn't need the lectures or her analysis of his sudden unfaithfulness. He didn't even understand that himself. Though come to think of it, he hadn't even told her he had a new girlfriend. No, it was best not to tell his mother. Or anyone, really... if Penny couldn't remember what she had said, he would have to settle with the fact that the painkillers she had been given made people do and say stupid things. "Nothing... at all?" He didn't know why he felt so upset that she couldn't remember saying 'I love you' to him. It was stupid, she didn't mean it like he thought she had meant it. What did it matter to him anyway? Why _should _it matter?

"Really, nothing. Why? Oh God, did I say something stupid?"

"No," Leonard shook his head, not quite managing a smile. "Nothing stupid at all. I'll see you around."

"Yeah..." She looked at him for a moment, her brow raised. For a moment she wondered if he wasn't quite telling the truth. But he would tell her, right? He'd probably tell her and they'd both be laughing about it. "Well, thank you again."

* * *

"You're out of your sling!" Leonard's face lit up as he entered the laundry room to see Penny emptying a basket into a washing machine. It had been over a week since he'd seen her properly, only having bumped into her once or twice in the hallway.

"Yup! Aaandd..." She put the basket down and turned around to face him. "No bandage, and the stitches are out!"

"You can hardly see the bruise!"

"Yeah... I found a makeup tutorial on YouTube." Penny shrugged. "The bruise didn't do anything to make me look better. And my arm has lost weight, look!" Penny held out her arm, and pointed to the bruise on her elbow. "It just looks funny now. But it doesn't really hurt anymore."

"Well, that's good." He smiled at her. "No more spilling oil in your kitchen though. I've missed you at the gym, you know."

Penny's eyes snapped up at him. What the hell did that mean? Did he miss the gym bathroom sex or just having company there? She hadn't been to the gym since that time. The first week after, she'd had to cover somebody's shift. Last week she had slipped, and she hadn't gone yesterday because she wasn't sure her arm could take all that strain yet. _The strain from the exercise, not the sex, _Penny thought to herself quickly, as she touched the bruise on her elbow. All she managed to say in reply was "Oh."

"Oh what?"

She blinked quickly. "I... didn't realize I'd missed out three weeks at the gym." She watched as Leonard emptied his own laundry into a washer. "I'll be there next week."

"Great!" He grinned. He inserted a quarter and started his load. "Are you just gonna leave your washing in there or actually start the machine?"

"Oh, yeah!" Penny quickly tipped in some powder and softener, before inserting a quarter and starting her load. "So, has Howard let you have a go on his Vespa yet?"

Leonard frowned, shaking his head, as they began to ascend the steps to the hallway. "Nope. I think our ride was the closest I'll ever get."

_You bet it is. _"Aw, that's a shame."

"And he won't let Priya ride it because Raj told him she once crashed his scooter when they were kids, and he's too protective over his Vespa to let her have a go." He decided to leave out the part where Priya had told him she hated the idea of him on a Vespa with his ex-girlfriend, and had reminded him of his promise to keep his distance from Penny.

"Well, at least you've had a go." Penny smiled as they reached the hallway outside their apartments. "So you're not completely missing out."

"True, true," Leonard sighed. "So, gym next week?"

There it was again. _Seriously, is it for the sex or for the company?_ _Because I will take either. Preferably both. Definitely both._"Of course." _Oh my God, I have __**got **__to stop thinking like that. _But as she entered her apartment and closed the door, she saw her Hello Kitty water bottle on the kitchen counter, and she couldn't help but think the thoughts she was trying so hard not to.

* * *

**A/N - Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for the reviews yesterday, keep them coming, I love seeing what you think! I'm not sure how I want to go about this ****next gym encounter... or if it's even going to be the next chapter or a bit later. I dunno. And for those of you waiting for all the feelings and honesty and stuff... it's getting there. Really slowly. I have plans... but first some more fun ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - I did say I'd update today so here you go! This chapter was originally much shorter but there were things I wanted to add in. If you hate Monday as much as I do, hope this makes your day a bit better! I'll try not to leave such a big gap between updates this time. Enjoy, and as always, keep those reviews coming, I love them :)**

* * *

Penny gasped and put her hands up when Leonard and Priya entered 4A, her eyes wide.

"Sheldon changed the WiFi password and he won't tell me and I don't know his laptop password but you don't have one and I just needed the internet to pay some bills!" She got out quickly, putting her hands down when she saw Leonard wasn't angry with her.

"Okay..."

"Penny, you can't just enter someone's home and use their laptop without permission." Priya pointed out, who evidently had more to say on this matter than Leonard.

"It's okay, Priya, I don't mind." Leonard shrugged, walking over to the desk. "Though... shopping Victoria's Secret isn't really paying your bills."

"Well... they're going to _bill _me for my purchase..." Penny offered. "That's kinda the same."

"No, it isn't." Priya raised a brow.

Penny rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever, I was shopping."

Frowning, Priya looked away from the screen to read a message on her phone. "Oh no, Raj says my parents want to talk to us on Skype... I have to go," Priya picked her bag back up, quickly kissing Leonard on the cheek, forgetting she was leaving Penny in the apartment with Leonard. "I'll see you later."

Penny watched as Priya left. "She still not told her parents she's dating you?" She asked once the door had shut.

"Nope." Leonard sighed as he sat down on the couch. "Though I haven't told my mom I'm dating Priya, so it's okay."

"Mm, I guess so." Penny turned her focus back to the laptop. Since Leonard hadn't told Beverly he was dating Priya, she couldn't really pick on Priya for not telling her parents she was dating Leonard. "Oh no!"

"What?"

"I ordered this bra like two weeks ago and now it's on sale. Ugh."

Leonard glanced over at the screen and couldn't help but think to himself that the bra in question would look much better on Penny than it did on the model. He cleared his throat. "That's... that's too bad."

"I know, that's like fifteen dollars I could have saved!"

"You do realize I'm now going to have Victoria's Secret pages in my browser history? Howard is going to be so happy."

"Leonard, do you _have _to mention Howard when I'm shopping? It's disturbing. You know what, I'm just gonna pay for this now, before I get mental images of Howard commenting on all the photos." Penny clicked the checkout button. "And before I spend _all _my money on underwear..."

Looking at the total price displayed on the screen, Leonard let out a whistle. "That's a lot of money you're spending!"

"Hey," Penny turned around in the seat to look at Leonard. "You didn't mind the expensive underwear when we were dating."

Well, he couldn't really argue with that. "Okay. Fair point."

"Uh-huh, I thought it was." Penny gave him a pointed look, before turning back round and clicking the final 'checkout' button. "Done! You can have your laptop back now... but you'll have to tell me the WiFi password when Sheldon tells you."

"Will do." Leonard nodded, staring at the TV remote, trying to distract himself from thoughts of Penny's underwear.

Checking the time on her phone, Penny sighed. "Guess I'd better get ready for work. I don't really have an excuse to not go in now that my arm is pretty much fine now."

"Oh," Leonard got up; he'd been hoping she'd stay awhile. "Well, enjoy your shift."

"Yeah... I probably won't, but thanks anyway!" She stood up off the chair and joined Leonard at the door.

They leant in to hug each other goodbye, and that was all it took for Penny to loose it. Her lips found his and suddenly she was kissing him, and best of all, he was kissing her back. She didn't know what it was, but ever since their Vespa ride, whenever he touched her, she had this need to kiss him. She had no idea why something so simple as a hug made her loose control like this, but he didn't seem to mind, and that was fine with her. As the kiss deepened, she became aware of his tongue in her mouth, his hand in her hair, his arm around her waist. She found her own hand in his hair, the other on his chest, pressing herself into him. She had no idea how or why this was happening, but _God _it was amazing, and her hand was bunching up his t-shirt and his mouth was on her neck as she let out soft moans...

But clearly the God she constantly referred to wasn't pleased with this, and Leonard's phone rang.

Breaking apart quickly, Leonard grabbed his phone from his pocket, swearing when he saw Sheldon's name.

"Yes, Sheldon?" He put the phone to his hear. With a mischievous grin, Penny began to kiss his neck. "What?" He closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice normal, although Sheldon probably wouldn't notice. "Mm... uh, I mean, yeah, sure. I'll come pick you up. Okay. Bye." Putting his phone back in his pocket, he captured Penny's lips for a sweet few moments before pulling away. "I have to go."

"Me too."

They looked at each other for a few seconds longer, before Leonard opened the door to let them both out, knowing that if he didn't, his own resolves would weaken. And ever since she had said that 'I love you', even though he wasn't sure if she had really meant it, it was becoming far too easy to weaken his resolves where Penny was involved.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Penny grinned as she let Amy and Bernadette into her apartment.

"We picked this up downstairs - the delivery man was just coming in." Bernadette held out a package addressed to Penny. "How's your arm doing?"

Penny held out her arm to show the girls. "Still bruised, but not as bad."

"Ooh, your bruise matches your shirt." Amy pointed out. "How about your head?"

"I'm not using as much make-up now! I'll show you later. The doctor was right, you really can't see where they had to stitch it." Penny grinned. "You bring the wine, Bernadette?"

"Yup!" Bernadette held up a paper bag which held two bottles of red wine as well as various snacks. "All set for a girly sleepover!"

"Good!" Penny went over to the kitchen to grab three wine glasses. "Oh and Amy, no 'experimenting' this time."

"Gotcha, Penny." Amy winked at her. "So what's in the package?"

Penny sat down on the couch, putting the glasses down. Bernadette opened one of the bottles of wine and poured it into the glasses.

"Umm, I dunno, I've done quite a bit of online shopping... oh yay!" Penny squealed, ripping open the package she was holding. "My stuff from Victoria's Secret finally arrived!"

"Ooh, bestie, watcha order?" Amy sat down next to Penny on the couch.

"Just some new sports bras and yoga pants and stuff," Penny opened the clear bags the items were in, holding them up.

"Ooh!" Bernadette grinned. "Who you trying to impress at the gym then?"

"No-one." Penny lied. "I just want to look good at the gym, that's all." Though perhaps they could be of some help here. "I'm going to try everything on to make sure it fits and looks okay... you wanna be my judges?"

The girls agreed, always up for a girly fashion show, even if it was sportswear. Penny gave them a fashion show of her new Victoria's Secret gym gear, grinning at every compliment of how hot she would look at the gym. But it was Amy and Bernadette's comments on the final sports bra and shorts that pleased her the most.

"My God, bestie, your breasts look ridiculously _amazing_."

"And your ass looks pretty great too," Bernadette added, as Penny gave a final twirl.

While it wasn't entirely an appropriate comment, Penny couldn't help but grin as she went back to check herself out in the mirror. Ridiculously amazing is what she had been going for. Shutting the door, she quickly got changed back into the clothes she had been wearing earlier.

"Priya may have the brains... but I have the boobs." Penny said to herself quietly, as she put the shorts and bra on top of her dresser, ready for Tuesday.

Penny went back to join the girls, picking up her glass of wine and drinking quickly to drown the guilt that was creeping up on her for actively finding ways to sleep with Leonard. Then she began to wonder if it was her fault that Leonard had become the kind of guy who cheated on his girlfriend. But those thoughts were gone once Bernadette refilled her glass and they began their slightly tipsy gossip session of the evening.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - Gym time fun! Hope you enjoy this latest adventure ;) Don't forget to review, please - I love reading them! Also I love your ideas and things you'd like to see happen, such fun! Righto, enjoy :) **

* * *

"Hey, you came!" Leonard grinned as he spotted Penny walking towards him. He put his glasses on, sitting up from the bench press, and had to stop his mouth from dropping. Somehow, she was managing to make her sports wear _incredibly _hot. He let his eyes slowly take in the neat ballerina bun, the natural, make-up less but perfect face, the pink sports bra that was making her breasts look... ridiculously amazing, that was the only phrase he could think of... her toned stomach, her super tight yoga pants, her never ending legs, and- no. He laughed. White sneakers with Hello Kitty shoe laces. _Jeez, even those are hot_.

"Yeah," She sat down on the bench press next to his, grinning. "I told you I would, didn't I? How many more bench presses you got?" _Please have loads. Please have loads. Say you have loads left._

"Thirty," He lay back down and took of his glasses.

_Yes_! "Ah, well, I'll just wait here until you're done."

And she did wait, and it was the best wait of her life. Three weeks of missing out on those muscles made seeing them at work now even better. She couldn't keep the smirk off her face. Here she was, watching Leonard work out at the gym, and Priya had no idea how much her 'less time with Penny' rule was being violated.

"So what next?" Leonard asked, sitting up. He grabbed his water bottle and wiped at his forehead before putting his glasses back on.

Penny nominated the ellipticals next, followed by the treadmill and power plates, and the rowing machines. At each work out station, they once again dared and challenged each other, neither backing down, fuelled by the need to impress each other. Leonard didn't object to being by the mirrors this time; as much as he didn't enjoy watching himself, they were a great way to keep his eyes on Penny. He could have sworn that he caught her looking at him sometimes too, but he put that down to her making sure he was doing okay without his inhaler, or something lame like that. Maybe if he worked out a bit more he could change that.

After what seemed like an eternity, they agreed that it was time to leave. Neither dared to mention it, but both walked towards the doors hoping that their gym session would end just like it had last time. They walked through to the corridor quickly, and they stopped when they reached the changing room doors, equally disappointed, but neither of them quite brave enough to bring up the fact that they had already gone past the bathroom they had used last week.

"So..."

"Yeah." Leonard nodded awkwardly.

"See you in the lobby?"

"Sure."

And so they parted ways, entering their respective changing rooms. Penny slumped onto a bench, groaning as she kicked her sneakers off. What had happened to her? She used to be a big old five. She _was _a big old five, so why hadn't she said anything? Meanwhile, Leonard grabbed his bag from his locker, and headed to the showers, wishing he was the kind of guy that initiated sex. Though he had to admit, he had somehow become the kind of guy who cheated on his girlfriend, so maybe he wasn't doing too bad in that department... although, he wasn't quite sure if that was even a good thing.

"Yeah, overthinking is really going to help," Leonard mumbled as he pulled off his t-shirt.

* * *

After a stair climb filled with small talk, Leonard and Penny finally reached the hallway outside their apartments. As Leonard turned to open the door to 4A, Penny decided to take some action.

"Hey, Leonard?"

"Yeah?" He turned back around to look at her.

"You wanna come in for some coffee?" _Well, it's better than nothing, _Penny reasoned with herself.

"Sure," He shrugged, and followed Penny into 4B.

"What's _this_?" Leonard asked, grinning at the box and jar on the coffee table. "101 Totally Cool Science Experiments for Kids? Didn't I get you that?"

Penny blushed. "Oh, umm... yeah, I found it the other day." She shrugged, trying to adopt a casual expression. "I thought I'd try one or two of them out."

"I see," He grinned, bending forward to look closer at the jar. "Ooh, fireworks in a jar!"

"Yeah, that one looks really pretty. I also did the volcano one, the rainbow one and tornado in a jar." She grinned proudly now, though she left out the part where she pretended Priya was on top of the volcano she had made explode. She also left out the part that she had just been trying them out because she knew if Leonard found out, he'd appreciate that she was actually using his gift. And perhaps she'd learn something out of it that could come in useful one day. "So, coffee?"

Leonard gave her a nod and they headed over to the kitchen. Penny switched on the coffee maker and grabbed two mugs from the shelf.

"So which experiment is your favorite so far?" Leonard asked, leaning on the island counter.

"Volcano one. I liked watching it just blow up like that."

"You going to try any of the others?"

"Maybe," Penny turned around to pour the coffee into their mugs. "Crap," She frowned as she spilt some onto the counter.

"Here," Leonard grabbed a jay cloth and went over to stand next to her. She lifted the two mugs and he quickly wiped the counter and the bottom of the mugs, before throwing the cloth into the sink as Penny placed the mugs back down. As he reached over to pick up his mug, his arm brushed Penny's, and he raised a brow when she looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"It's-" _It's just that when you touch me I want to kiss you_. But instead of giving him an answer, partly out of worry that it would sound stupid, she just continued to stare at him, her lips slightly parted, trying to figure out what her next move was supposed to be.

But she didn't need to, because Leonard had made it for her. He leant forwards and kissed her, pulling her closer, tangling a hand in her hair. Penny responded quickly, and he took this as a sign to deepen the kiss. They were moving quickly; this had been building up all day, heck, it had been building up ever since Leonard had told Penny he missed her at the gym. Penny found herself curling her fingers in his hair, moaning desperately into his mouth, as he moved his hands up her t-shirt and gripped her waist, hoisting her onto the island counter.

* * *

"I'm so going to have to clean the counter," Penny giggled, still slightly out of breath, as she picked her t-shirt up off the floor and pulled it back on.

"Yeah..." Leonard smirked, turning to the dish rack, which currently sported his boxers. He let out a small chuckle as he picked them up and put them back on.

The pair froze and they heard a knock at the door. Penny ran over to the peephole and looked through, before turning back to Leonard with wide eyes.

"Hide!" She mouthed, motioning wildly to her bedroom. "It's Priya!"

Leonard grabbed his pants and t-shirt, running into her bedroom and shutting the door. Penny did up the buttons on her jeans quickly before opening the door.

"Hey Priya," She gave her a small smile.

"Where's Leonard?" Priya asked, trying to look over Penny's shoulder. "He has Tuesday's off and he's not in the apartment, normally he's back from the gym by now."

"I dunno." Penny shrugged, fighting back a smirk. "Maybe he went to the comic book store or something. I haven't seen him today."

"I'll check there." Priya turned around and headed downstairs, without a goodbye. Penny waited until she could no longer hear Priya's footsteps before shutting the door and calling Leonard out of the bedroom.

"She's gone," Penny said as he came out of the bedroom, now fully dressed.

"What did she say?"

"She wanted to know where you were, I suggested the comic book store."

"I should probably head back to my apartment," Leonard picked up his gym bag, which he had put down next to the sofa.

"Yeah." Penny nodded, giving him a small smile as she opened the door once again.

Just stopped and turned quickly to look at Penny once he was out the door. "Nice new gym clothes, by the way. I like the shoelaces." He grinned as he walked into his own apartment.

Penny grinned as she shut the door, doing a small dance as she walked towards the kitchen to clean up. So he _had _noticed.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - Okay so I was going to update yesterday. But I forgot I had work until an hour before my shift - my username doesn't lie! Just wanna say thanks so far for all the reviews, so glad you're enjoying this and it's so interesting seeing what you all think! This chapter and the next one will both be very Penny-central, and the one after will focus more on Leonard (well that's the plan, I haven't written them yet). I had an epiphany to include a change of... character dynamic? Tone? Introduce a new obstacle? So... enjoy! **

* * *

"Umm... hi?" Penny raised a brow as she opened the door to see Priya.

"Hello, Penny." Priya gave her best attempt at a friendly smile. "Umm... can I come in?"

Penny blinked for a few seconds, taken aback. "Uh, yeah, sure." She stood back to let Priya into her apartment before closing the door behind her, trying to work out what on earth was going on right now. The two women looked at each other awkwardly for a few minutes, though it felt like hours, before Penny gestured to the couch. "Umm, you can sit down."

"Okay. Thank you." Priya perched herself on the edge of the couch, and another awkward, tension filled silence filled Penny's apartment once more. Eventually Priya cleared her throat. "Leonard's mother is coming to visit."

"Oh that's- oh..." Penny nodded, realizing what this meant. Priya was going to meet Leonard's mother. "Oh." She repeated quietly, battling the pang of jealousy she felt in her heart.

"Yes, so... well, Raj told me she was a bit... I was hoping you could help me a little."

Had it not been for the look of worry Priya wore, Penny would have thought that Priya was telling her this just to rub it in her face. But she could tell from the slightly hopeful, yet very nervous, expression that Priya had, that she genuinely was asking Penny for help. She wasn't here to remind her how much she hated her, or lecture her on how wrong it is to sleep with her ex-boyfriend while he was dating another woman. She just wanted her advice. And it hurt Penny, more than she would ever admit, because this meant that Leonard was pretty serious about his relationship with Priya. Then it dawned on her; to Leonard, those times they had had sex behind Priya's back, there was no emotional attachment for him, it was just sex. He initiated, he participated, but her never stayed. He always went back to Priya. With a heavy heart, Penny realized she couldn't deny helping Priya. If Leonard wanted to introduce his new girlfriend... she couldn't stand in the way.

"Okay." Penny moved over and sat down at the other end of the couch. "She's... well... she's kind of like a female Sheldon."

"How so?"

"She's very much to-the-point and just says what she see's. She's a neuroscientist, and a psychiatrist, so she analyzes everything. It's a bit weird. So when she starts analyzing why you're a lawyer, in LA, dating Leonard... just be prepared."

"Okay..."

"Once you get used to it, it's okay, but it can be a bit overwhelming at first." Penny remembered how she had only known Beverly for five minutes and she had already made her cry, and how she had turned to alcohol. Leonard had too, and for a moment she smiled, remembering their lime kiss. But he had a reason for that alcohol; he had had his mother's comments over him his whole life. She decided to miss out the whole lime kiss, almost-sex incident. But Priya had to know about Leonard' relationship with Beverly. "She's not a mom like most of us would know. She isn't really... proud of Leonard, she likes to point out how his brother and sister are both at the top of their fields, while he, apparently, is not. She wasn't really there for him when he was growing up, like most parents are. I mean, he never celebrated his birthday, and on Christmas they wrote papers to be graded by 'Santa' - stuff like that. Beverly is very critical of his work and his research. So just... be there for Leonard, it's a rough time for him when his mom visits, okay?"

Priya nodded, giving Penny a small, but genuine, smile. That was all Penny had asked of her; to be there for Leonard. She could understand that, and she respected that. "I will. What do his brother and sister do?"

"Well, his sister is a medical researcher. She's working with gibbons to cure diabetes. His brother Michael is a lawyer. He's a tenured law professor at Harvard." Penny sighed. "Beverly will like that you're a lawyer."

"Oh, that's good. To be honest I am really nervous about meeting her."

"You shouldn't be." Penny looked down at her hands, praying to the God that evidently hated her that she wouldn't start crying. "You're a lawyer, you're smart, you're interesting... she'll be happy Leonard is with someone like you."

"Thank you, Penny." A few minutes of silence passed, which Priya took as her cue to leave. "I should get going."

Penny nodded and stood up to let her out. "Good luck with Leonard's mom," She said, trying to ignore the arrow she was stabbing through her own heart. "She's going to love you."

"Thanks again. And Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"This doesn't change anything."

"What?" Penny raised a brow.

"I still don't want you spending time with Leonard, and I still don't trust you, after what you did."

"Priya-"

"You had your chance with him, Penny. You had your chance to spend time with him, but he's _my _boyfriend now, not yours."

With that, Priya turned around, and Penny glared after her, before shutting the door loudly and locking it. Just when she thought she and Priya had come to some kind of mutual ground where they could at least try to be okay for Leonard's sake. Clearly not.

But Priya was right, Penny realized, as she walked over to her kitchen and leant on the counter, resting her head in her hands. She had had her chance with Leonard. He wasn't her boyfriend anymore. Tears began to fall as Priya's painful yet truthful words sunk in, mingling with the realizations that Priya was much better suited for Leonard. She let her tears run, sobbing quietly into her hands as her body contracted with every sharp inhalation she took.

Eyes puffy and red, cheeks stained from her tears, Penny finally stood straight, pulling her phone from her pocket. She selected the contact she was searching for, and hit the call button, waiting impatiently as it rang.

"Bernadette?" She hoped her voice wouldn't give away that she had been crying. "Are you and Amy free tonight? I want to go out." She waited as Bernadette confirmed that the pair of them were free tonight, and asked when she wanted them over. "Well... I'm not doing anything today, so whenever." Penny tried to keep the desperation out of her voice; she wanted company, but she didn't want them to start asking questions. Bernadette said they'd be over once they'd dropped Sheldon and Howard off to the comic book store. "Thank you. I'll see you later."

Hanging up, Penny sighed. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the top of the fridge and took it with her to the bathroom; right now, drinking from a glass seemed unnecessary. She took a few gulps from the bottle before she switched on her taps and with shaking hands, washed her face, trying to get rid of the evidence that she had been crying. As for the hurt look on her face that didn't seem to budge, she decided the wine could take care of that.

* * *

**A/N - I had an epiphany not a stroke guys, Priya's was never going to stay nice to Penny ;) There will be some more fun coming up still, I'm not done with that! As well as more Priya moments and... insights into stuff. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think :) **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - Here's the next chapter! The content is fairly important for future chapters I have planned :) I am currently freeloading WiFi as mine is down... muahaha. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think, opinions definitely needed for this chapter! **

* * *

"Can I buy you ladies a drink?"

The girls giggled, just gone past tipsy.

"You most certainly can!" Penny grinned at the guy who had approached their table, but she didn't take in his looks or the way he looked at Penny. "We will have another round of Cosmopolitan's, please!"

Feeling slightly dejected, the guy walked over to the bar to order the drinks. The girls continued giggling until he returned with a tray of Cosmopolitan's. They thanked him, and he walked off to rejoin his friends, who laughed at him for not being able to get at least one of them.

"You so should go get him," Bernadette winked at Penny, sipping on her drink.

"Him?" Penny frowned. "Oh, he's not really my type."

"Handsome? Tall? Great hair? Amazing arms? That's not your type?" Amy asked.

"Yeah..." Penny shrugged. "Not really."

Bernadette and Amy shared a look. There was a small silence before Bernadette burst into giggles again, for no apparent reason, which caused the other two to start giggling again as well. Perhaps they had passed tipsy earlier than they had thought.

* * *

It was just gone three in the morning when Leonard had gotten up to get a glass of water, and heard a tumbling noise outside, followed by a stream of incoherent swearing. Raising a brow, he yawned as he walked over to the door to investigate the source of the noise, though as he reached to open the door his sleepy brain had finally worked it out.

"Penny?"

Penny looked up at Leonard from the floor. "Hey, Leonard!"

"Why are you on the floor?"

"My apartment won't let me in," she slurred, gesturing lazily to her door. "I knocked but..." She let out a burp and giggled.

"Okay," Leonard fought a laugh. "Do you have your key?"

"What a great idea!" Penny held her clutch purse out for him, grinning.

"Well I _am_ a genius," Leonard gave her a quick smile before taking the purse. He opened it, amazed at how much she had managed to fit in there. Penny hummed to herself until he found her apartment key. "Here we are!"

"Oh, yay! I didn't want to nap in the hallway," Penny shook her head.

"Let's get you into the apartment then, yeah?"

"Okay-dokay!" Penny laughed to herself. As Leonard hoisted her up from behind, she started giggling again. "Oo-oo! Second base you naughty boy!"

Leonard sighed, shaking his head slightly as he held Penny up whilst unlocking the door to her apartment. He carried on holding her as they walked to her bedroom, where she flopped down onto the bed.

"I want my jammies," Penny yawned, wiggling her feet.

"Where are they?"

Penny looked at him for a moment before once again giggling. "I don't know. Shh! Don't tell my mom!"

"Okay..." Leonard frowned and looked around the room. He remembered she sometimes left them in the bathroom, and sure enough when he walked in he saw them in a pile on the floor next to the shower. He picked them up and held them out to her. "These?"

"Yeah!" Penny sat up quickly, taking the pajamas.

She grabbed the bottom of her dress messily, and started pulling it up to take off over her head, forgetting completely that there was a zipper on the back. To Leonard's amazement, she managed to yank it off, but as a result fell sideways, in a bout of laughter, and he rushed to make sure she didn't roll off the bed. He sat her back up and placed her dress in the laundry basket. When he turned back round she was sitting cross legged, bent forward, trying to undo the clasp on her bra.

"Someone super-glued it," she moaned, her hands flailing behind her back.

"They didn't super-glue it," Leonard sat down behind her to help.

"You know," Penny hiccoughed as she pulled off her bra, before turning her head to look at Leonard. "If I was a cheerleader you would be in for a _real _treat." She proceeded with a long burp, before grinning once more. "You wanna see a routine?"

"Let's just get the pajama top on you," Leonard frowned.

"Fine." Penny threw him a stroppy look before shoving her pajama top on and pulling on the shorts. "But you're missing out!"

"I think you need to go to sleep," Leonard got up from the bed. "I'll get you a glass of water and a bucket, just in case. No cheerleading routines, okay?"

"Most guys like drunk cheerleaders," Penny mumbled, dragging herself up to the top of her bed. She crawled under the comforter as the drowsiness kicked in.

Leonard returned with a glass of water, which he placed on her nightstand, and a bucket, which he placed on the floor by her bed. "If you're sick, the bucket is right here, and there's a glass of water here too. I've left some aspirin out on the counter too."

"Uh-huh," Penny nodded, twisting in her sheets to get comfortable. "You gonna get in bed with me?"

Leonard gave her a sympathetic smile and shook his head. "No, I'm going back to my own bed."

"Sleeping without you is balls." She turned to face away from him as she yawned. "Mm, my mouth tastes like Malibu and coke. Night, Leonard."

"Goodnight, Penny." He stood in the doorway for a few minutes to make sure she really was going to sleep, before shutting off the light.

* * *

"Hey," Leonard smiled as Penny exited her apartment.

"Hey guys," Penny returned a small smile to Leonard, and forced herself to give the same smile to Priya.

"Hello Penny." Priya gave Penny the same small smile she always did; laced with a smirk and a hint of disapproval.

"How you feeling today?"

"Oh, you know... hungover, hating myself, the usual post-night out stuff." She gave an awkward nod. "But, umm, thanks for helping me last night."

"That's okay," Leonard shrugged. "It was kind of funny, for the most part."

"Yeah, about that, I am _so _sorry." She bit her lip, frowning, wishing that the part of last night that she did remember, was the part she had forgotten. "Anyway, I have work, so... I'll see you later."

She rushed down the stairs quickly, and Leonard watched for a second until she disappeared, before unlocking his apartment door to let himself and Priya in.

"What was that about?" Priya enquired, shutting the door behind her.

"Oh, Penny came home drunk last night, so I just made sure she was okay." Leonard shrugged, switching on his laptop.

"What do you mean, you 'made sure she was okay' - she's the one who was drunk, it's her fault."

"What?" Leonard turned around, slightly taken aback. "Yes, she was drunk, but she couldn't even work out how to get into her own apartment! I wasn't just going to leave her there in the hallway!"

"And she just expects you to help her?"

"No! I was getting a glass of water and I heard her outside. I got her back to her apartment and made sure she got to bed okay."

"It's not for you to worry about her." Priya pointed out, sitting herself on the couch.

"Okay, I don't know why you think it's so wrong I made sure she's back in her apartment safely. But she's my friend, of course I'm going to worry about her when she's in a state like that! If you came home drunk I'd do the same." He added the last part on, in the hopes it would make things slightly better.

"But I am your _girlfriend_, and Penny is not. And I would never come home so drunk I don't know how to open a door."

Leonard sighed and turned back to his laptop, not exactly sure what Priya's point was, or what was bothering her so much about his helping Penny anyway.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Oh my God, it's so hard to write Bev! Hope she has been written fairly IC. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think :) **

* * *

Leonard was excited for Priya to meet his mother. He thought Beverly would approve; Priya was a smart lawyer and a high achiever. In fact, she would probably like Priya more than she did Leonard. So it was with a smile that he picked her up from the airport, with high hopes that this would be a better visit than the previous ones. He took Sheldon with him, as she got on with him, which could only increase her mood and chances of liking Priya.

He had invited his friends and Priya over for dinner - it would be easier to introduce his girlfriend with his friends there. In the hallway, they bumped into Penny, and Beverly invited her over, unimpressed that Leonard felt the need to 'exclude his former girlfriend from a social gathering'. Leonard explained to her his current experiment at work while preparing a dinner of spaghetti bolognese. She didn't get the chance to criticize or praise it, as Howard, Bernadette, Amy and Raj arrived at that moment, and she took to questioning why Howard was dating a woman despite his 'feelings' for Raj. Penny arrived next, with a cheesecake for dessert, which she had taken home from work earlier that day. Priya arrived soon after, and Leonard took a deep breath before turning to introduce her to Beverly.

"Mother, this is Priya - my girlfriend." He said with a grin. "Priya, this is my mother - Doctor Beverly Hofstadter."

"It's lovely to meet you," Priya extended a hand.

"I don't see why it wouldn't be." Beverly sniffed, ignoring Priya's hand.

Leonard's grin quickly faded. "Okay, why don't we all sit down for dinner?" He slouched over to the island counter to serve up the meal, bringing the plates over one by one, while his mother caught up with Penny. He loved that Beverly had bonded with Penny, though he wasn't sure how, but he wished that his mother would at least try to bond with Priya. "So, mother, Priya is a lawyer." He said once he had sat down to join the group.

"Is that so?" Beverly still did not sound very interested.

"Yes," Priya picked up an encouraging look from Leonard. "I'm a lawyer for a car firm in India."

"My son Michael is a tenured Law professor at Harvard."

_Of course, _Leonard thought as he rolled his eyes. He had completely forgotten about that. "Priya studied at Cambridge University."

"I'm sure the woman can talk for herself, Leonard."

He shot Priya an apologetic look as Beverly returned to talking to Penny. Soon after, she began questioning Bernadette on how she felt dating a man with latent homosexual feelings towards Raj. Amy chipped in on this, and Leonard sighed; even Amy got on well with his mother - though since they were neurobiologists and neuroscientists, this did make a lot of sense. Sheldon listened intently, nodding approvingly of Beverly's analysis of his friends.

The meal came to a finish, and Beverly still had not spoken any more with Priya, much to Leonard's dismay. Considering his mother was far from a bubbly, chatty social woman, she was getting on fairly well with the rest of the group. Admittedly, he had gotten into the conversation a fair few times; it was definitely easier to be around her with her friends there. But Priya had stayed quiet, eating her food and nervously watching the conversation. He had also picked up on the way Priya would look at Penny - it was not the usual cool, calm look she held, but a more worried look with a hint of jealousy. Penny, on the other hand, looked very happy and definitely at ease; for a moment he wondered just _how _she had bonded so well with his mother.

He hurried to clear the plates, and decided he ought to try once more to get his mother to like Priya.

"So, Priya is Raj's brother." Leonard said lamely, not sure what else to bring up. He wondered why he couldn't think of a better aspect of Priya to point out to his mother.

"Rajesh," Beverly turned to Raj. "Do you approve of your sister dating my son?"

Raj shrugged and took a sip of his beer. "I tried to forbid it but they wouldn't listen."

"Interesting. Do your parents approve of the relationship?"

"No." Raj shook his head. "Although our parents do not know yet."

Beverly frowned. "Priya, is the reason you haven't told your parents you are dating Leonard because you are ashamed of him?"

"No!" Priya shook her head quickly. "No, of course it isn't, Mrs. - Doctor Hofstadter."

"I know my son is hardly somebody to brag about, but one does wonder."

"Thanks, mother," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"It's just a big deal in India to date someone like Leonard."

_Someone like Leonard? What the hell does that mean? _Leonard furrowed his brow, trying to work out if he should take that offensively or not.

"I thought it was common practice for the parents to find their child a partner. It is interesting that you have not asked for their approval." Beverly stated simply, before standing up. "I have to urinate."

As she walked off, Leonard rubbed his temples as Priya sighed and looked down at her hands. The rest of the group looked around awkwardly, apart from Sheldon.

"Well I have to say, this has been a delightful meal." Everybody turned to look at Sheldon. "What? Leonard, your mother is truly spectacular."

"Yes, she's... spectacular." Leonard rolled his eyes.

Beverly soon returned from the bathroom, but did not sit down.

"I think I will return to my hotel now." She announced to the room. "I have a meeting tomorrow morning. Sheldon, I will send you that PowerPoint Presentation tonight."

"Oh, goody!" Sheldon grinned excitedly. "Thank you, Beverly."

"Not a problem, it is understandable you would wish to read my latest research." She gave a small nod. "Amy and Bernadette - it was a pleasure to meet you."

"You too," the two of them said in unison with a smile.

"Howard, Raj," She gave them a small nod of goodbye. "Penny, it was nice to see you again. Take care of yourself."

"I will, Beverly," Penny gave her a small smile.

Beverly picked up her handbag and headed for the door. "Come, Leonard. I am sure your group of friends can function without you."

Leonard gave an annoyed nod as he stood up. "Of course." Too annoyed with his mother to even say goodbye to Priya, he picked up Beverly's suitcase which she had placed by the door and followed her out.

Once they were downstairs and in the car, he thought it safe to try work out what his mother had thought of Priya.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think many things, Leonard, you will have to be more specific."

"Okay, what do you think about my new girlfriend, Priya?"

"Oh." Beverly frowned, looking at Leonard, before returning her gaze to the road in front of her. "I suppose it is impressive that she is a lawyer."

"Uh-huh," Leonard grinned. That was something, at least.

"Though obviously not as successful as Michael," Beverly pondered. "I do have some interesting observations, though."

"Oh?" Leonard thought about whether or not he wanted to hear these or not. It could go either way, with his mother. "Which are?"

"She did not seem very close to you." Beverly stated. "She sat in a chair next to Raj, rather than share the couch with you, as you did with Penny. Her body language was fairly closed off - not very open to conversation or social interaction. Her having not told her parents about you suggests either she is ashamed of you or she is rebelling against her parents, like a teenager would - though it could be both."

"Well, it can be intimidating meeting somebody's parents," Leonard said, missing out the part that it was positively terrifying meeting his mother for the first time. "You know, Penny was really upset after the first time she met you."

"Yes, she did seem rather upset then. I should have asked about how her relationship with her father is these days."

"Penny's relationship with her father is... better, I think," Leonard said, remembering Wyatt's visit only too well. "He visited her a while ago."

He pulled up outside the hotel Beverly was staying at, and got out to open the door for her, and take her suitcase from the boot of his car. He walked her to the door of her hotel room, both deep in thought.

"Well, good bye, Leonard."

"Bye, mother. I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow."

"Yes, well, there is no way of telling right now, is there?"

"I suppose not, I was just... being positive."

"Okay, Leonard." She gave him an obligatory hug before pulling back and opening her door. "One last observation." She said, turning back to him.

"Yes?"

"You still talk about Penny a lot." Giving him a final pointed look, she turned back around and shut her door.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - Massive thanks for all the positive feedback on how I wrote Bev! Always lovely when I get a review/PM saying I've written a character really well after struggling with it :) **

* * *

Leonard knocked on Penny's door and opened it slightly, poking his head through to see her sat on the couch. "Hey, Penny."

"Hey," She looked up from the book she was reading.

He walked into the apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar. "Sheldon said he left his special low sodium soy sauce here last week, we're ordering takeaway and he's making a big deal about it."

"Oh." Penny couldn't help the sudden look of hurt that flashed across her face; they were having takeaway without her, and she knew exactly why. She looked away from Leonard, trying to hide her frown. "I'll have a look."

As Penny put down her book and walked over to the kitchen, Leonard mentally kicked himself for not realizing that he was basically rubbing Penny's non-invitation in her face. He knew she loved having dinner with the guys, and that she missed hanging out with them all the time, but he had promised Priya he'd spend less time with Penny. He knew he had majorly violated that rule, plus a million other relationship rules, but he had to at least try to keep things... normal, for Priya. Though the look on Penny's face made him feel much guiltier about excluding her from dinner and then bringing it up in front of her, than he ever did when he had cheated on Priya.

"Here it is," Penny said flatly, holding out Sheldon's soy sauce.

"Thanks," Leonard gave her a small smile as he took the sauce.

Penny took hold of the doorknob. "Enjoy your dinner."

She didn't know why she felt so upset, or so angry at Leonard. Okay, she was upset about not being invited to dinner just because his jealous girlfriend didn't want her there. But she wasn't _angry _about that. She _was _angry, but not at him. She was angry with herself because it was Tuesday, and they hadn't had sex, and she had expected it at the end of their gym session. The tension had been there, her Hello Kitty water bottle and shoelaces had been there, and his bench-pressing muscles had been there. The nervous glances as they walked down the corridor to the changing room had been there. That moment, before they parted for the changing rooms, had been there. But there had been no spontaneous gym bathroom sex, and she hadn't invited him for coffee when they returned, and he hadn't invited her over to his apartment. She was angry with herself for _wanting _Leonard, and for wanting Leonard to cheat on his girlfriend for her, and worst of all - for expecting him to.

"Thank you," Leonard said cautiously, trying to work out the expression on Penny's face. "And, umm... I'm sorry, Penny."

Penny sighed, realizing that she had been staring at him, half angry, half upset, with her hand still tightly holding the doorknob. "It's fine," She said, offering him a small smile. She knew she didn't have to ask him what he was sorry for; they had known each other long and well enough to keep things unspoken between them.

Leonard hesitated for a moment. "You want me to ask Amy and Bernadette to come over? We can put an order in for you."

Her insides screamed because he _always _knew the right thing to do, and she both hated and loved this about him. "Umm, sure," she shrugged casually, but gave him a grateful smile too.

"Okay," He stood there for a few seconds just taking in her smile, before remembering he had only come over for Sheldon's soy sauce. "I should get back. I'll talk to Amy and Bernadette."

Penny watched as he walked back to his apartment, before shutting the door and sitting back down on the couch. Somehow his just being there, and talking to her, had made the anger fade. _It doesn't have to be sex all the time_, she told herself. There were other ways to stay close, though with Priya there it was always going to be difficult. _Although the sex is definitely a bonus, _she then thought selfishly, a smirk playing across her face. _Like friends with benefits, just... with an evil bitch in the way of everything_.

She was brought away from her thoughts as Amy and Bernadette walked in, quickly turning her smirk into a smile.

"Hey P-Dawg," Amy grinned as she walked over to sit next to Penny on the couch.

"Leonard said you wanted us to come over," Bernadette said as she sat on the chair by the sofa.

"It's just lonely, you know," Penny sighed. Amy and Bernadette looked at her, knowing that wasn't the end of it, so she added on, "And I hate being here by myself when everyone is there, together, because Priya doesn't like me hanging out with Leonard."

"Shall we bitch about Priya?" Bernadette offered, quickly sharing a look with Amy. They had agreed in the hallway to let Penny lead the way with talking about Priya, as well as Leonard.

"Yeah," Penny nodded. While Amy and Bernadette had no clue what had been going on, it was still relieving to be able to trash talk with them.

"You know," Amy shuffled on the sofa to get comfortable. "She was wearing a really boring outfit today."

"I've never seen her in anything except pant suits and a boring shirt," Bernadette frowned. "Do you think she left her clothes in India or just has no taste?"

"Definitely no taste," Penny said quickly. She loved how they would pick on the small things; maybe they were irrational, and really stupid things that weren't really worth bitching about, but she needed to, and the girls were always there to do it with her.

They continued on for another twenty minutes, picking on some more silly things that Priya did or wore, before Howard knocked on the door and gave them their takeaway. Penny grinned when she took her food from the paper bag it was in; Leonard knew her favorite, and he'd even made sure to put in a fortune cookie for her.

"Ooh, you will really enjoy this, Penny," Bernadette piped up excitedly, grinning as she opened her food container. "Leonard was talking about work, and-" she paused to giggle again, and Amy joined in as she figured out what Bernadette was about to tell Penny. "Priya thought relativity and relativism are the same thing!"

Both Amy and Bernadette burst into laughter; as scientists, they found it hilarious that somebody could make that sort of mistake. Penny gave a small giggle; she didn't think it was _that _funny - she knew they weren't the same thing, but it seemed like an easy to mistake if you weren't a scientist. Though she couldn't help the smug feeling that she knew something that Priya didn't, about _physics _of all subjects.

"You'd think someone as smart as her would know that!" Amy laughed.

"Well, I didn't really understand them until I read it in my book, but it _is _pretty obvious they aren't the same thing."

The two scientists stopped laughing immediately, turning their heads to look at Penny, their eyebrows raised.

"What book did you read it in?" Bernadette asked.

"Just a book," Penny said quickly, shrugging.

"Bestie, I know your books. You don't have many books. None of them write about relativity _or _relativism."

"Okay, whatever, I bought a book," Penny got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, where she grabbed a bottle of wine. "Big deal."

Both Amy and Bernadette refrained from pointing out that it actually _was _a big deal, and quickly shared another look before Penny came back to the table with three glasses and an open bottle.

"What book did you buy?" Bernadette asked cautiously, as Penny poured wine into each glass.

Penny concentrated on pouring the wine slowly, before taking a long sip from her glass. She looked down at the fortune cookie on her table before answering in a quiet voice, "Physics for Dummies."

"Umm..." Amy looked at Bernadette, who gave a small nod. "Why?"

"I saw it at the bookstore," Penny picked up her food and started picking at it. "I went in to buy a copy of the play I'm doing in my acting class, and I saw it while I was trying to find the section with plays."

"Okay," Bernadette sat back in the chair, knowing that was as far as they were going to get tonight.

* * *

"Do you think Penny knows why she really bought the book?" Bernadette whispered to Amy the second they had closed the door to Penny's apartment.

Amy frowned. "I'm not sure."

"You're the neurobiologist here! You have to have _some _kind of insight into what's going on in her brain!"

Pausing to think, Amy shook her head. "No. She knows that when she says something clever that she learnt from that book that it will impress Leonard, and she knows she wants to impress him... but I think that's as far as it goes, from my observations. Though I would get a lot further if I could attach some electrodes-"

"Well you can't do that! I think we're on the same page though."

"Poor Penny." Amy sighed as she looked at the door to 4B.

"Mm," Bernadette agreed. "I think she could do with another girls night out, maybe meet a guy."

"Ooh, yay! Though we should probably not let her drink as much as she has these past few times if we have any hopes of her getting to go home with a guy."

"Good point... no drinking wine at Penny's apartment _before _we head out!"

* * *

**A/N - Umm I had to Google 'common mistakes in modern physics' to find the relativity/relativism thing... it's hard to find something that could be an 'easy' mistake to make when you don't really understand either of them yourself! Also I bought some Hello Kitty band-aids yesterday (how could I not?) and it got me thinking of other Hello Kitty things to include - so if you think of anything I could add in - do let me know! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, feedback always appreciated :) (Also... so excited for tonight's new episode, holler!) **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - Now I was going to update tomorrow but it's rainy and I am working until close today so ta-dah! Reviews will help get me through my shift ;) I will try to update Monday/Tuesday. There is a chapter I am really eager to finish writing & share! Enjoy, and have a nice weekend! **

* * *

The two scientists had excused themselves to 'go to the bathroom', leaving Penny at their table with Ross - a guy they had spotted ordering drinks at the bar, and introduced to Penny. They now watched from where they were standing next to the door to the girls restroom, ready to pretend they were just walking out from there if Penny turned around.

At the table they usually took near the bar, Penny was sat awkwardly, tracing the rim of her wine glass with her pointer finger. This guy the girls had introduced, Ross, seemed okay. He had told her was studying architecture, and worked as a receptionist at a small gym his father managed. He had light hair, with blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. She could see his defined muscles through his tight fitting t-shirt. But none of that interested her, and she didn't have the heart to tell him she really wasn't looking for a guy right now. She also hadn't had the heart to tell Amy and Bernadette that she didn't want to be set up with a guy - not from a bar, not from anywhere.

"So - you said you're a waitress?"

"Yeah."

"Where do you work?"

"Cheesecake Factory." She shrugged. "Umm, would you excuse me?"

She slipped off her seat and turned to head to the bathrooms, just missing the moment where Amy and Bernadette rushed into the bathroom to avoid being caught spying.

"Oh, hey!" Amy grinned, grabbing a paper towel and pretending to dry her hands. "How's it going?"

"I dunno," Penny put her clutch bag down next to the sink, sighing. "He seems okay, I'm just not really interested."

"But he's an architecture student who works at a gym!" Bernadette exclaimed from where she was perched on the windowsill. "He's smart _and _he works out! What's not to like?"

"Come on, bestie, you know you could get him into bed," Amy nudged Penny, winking.

"I know, I'm just not interested right now, okay?"

Bernadette decided to cut straight to the point. "Is this because of Leonard?"

Penny froze, staring at herself in the mirror, but not really seeing. She could feel Amy and Bernadette's eyes watching her, and eventually she let out a deep breath, and moved her gaze down to her hands. "Yes. I'm still not over him, and I'm still not ready to try dating again, and I don't _want _to. There. Happy?" She shot each of the girls a glare, trying to maintain a strong tone, but couldn't help the quiver in her lip. "Can we just leave now?"

"Sorry," Bernadette said quietly. She hadn't expected _that _answer. "Sure, I'll call a cab."

* * *

Waking up the next morning, Penny felt disappointed and embarrassed. It wasn't because of the usual reasons - that she had woken up next to somebody she couldn't remember and then thrown up in their bathroom before quickly escaping - but because she had _never _gone home early from a night out. And on top of that, the girls trying to set her up with a guy had bothered her so much she had come right out and said she wasn't over Leonard. She knew it was probably obvious, she was sure they knew it anyway, but putting it out there and saying it out loud was frightening.

She glumly slouched into the kitchen, opening the fridge to realize that she had no food in the fridge. To make matters worse, she also had no coffee. With a smirk she didn't realize she was doing, she considered going over to Leonard's for coffee. But she returned to frowning when she realized that Priya was probably there, and seeing the two of them together was the last thing she needed right now. With a groan, she trudged back to her bedroom to get ready and changed to head to the grocery store.

Dressed and lazily made-up, she began to make her way downstairs to her car. She had almost reached the lobby when she heard somebody coming down the stairs, and she turned around to see Priya. _Of course._

"Oh, Penny!" Priya actually looked relieved to see the blonde. She had her car keys in her hand, so Penny guessed she was just leaving Leonard's. "Can I talk to you?"

_I would really prefer it if you didn't. _Penny shrugged. "Sure."

Priya came to join her in the lobby. "How did you get out of going to Leonard's lectures?"

"I... what?" Penny raised a brow.

"You know, when he invited you to go to his lectures and sit in the audience when he speaks. How did you get out of that?"

"I didn't," Penny said, slightly dumbfounded. "Why?"

"He wants me to go to another one, but they are just so... boring."

_So is your pant suit. _Penny frowned. "I know they're boring, but... they're his lectures."

"I don't think I can sit through another hour long lecture listening to him speak about something I don't understand or care about."

_No, _Penny thought, feeling angry now, _you don't say that about your 'boyfriend'. _"I went to his lectures because they are important to him and he needs the support."

"He doesn't _need _me to sit there and listen to him speak."

"But you _should_."

Priya scrunched up her face. "You really went to them?"

"Yes. I had no idea what he was talking about, it didn't really interest me that much, but I went, for Leonard."

Penny couldn't believe she had to explain this to Priya. She thought it was simple enough; support you boyfriend or girlfriend, even if you really don't like what they're doing or have no interest in the subject. She had sat through his lectures, and yes, sometimes she had found herself dozing off, but she had been there. She sat in the lecture hall, or the auditorium, or the conference room, and gave him reassuring smiles, and congratulated him at the end. Penny could recall the time she had gotten Leonard to watch the video of her in _Rent_. She could tell from his face that he didn't really like it, and his expression whenever she sang told her that he didn't enjoy her singing one bit either. But he had sat there and watched it, and told her 'well done' at the end, and promised he'd go next time. Whenever she sang in the shower, he'd chuckle but he wouldn't stop her. When he started telling her something about work, she didn't get it but she listened and smiled.

And here Priya was, acting as though sitting through a lecture Leonard was giving was the most terrible thing in the world. And what struck Penny the most was how Priya had said she doesn't care about it. Leonard had proudly told everyone about how Priya was a lawyer, for a big car firm, blah blah blah - she hated it, but he'd taken a real interest. And Priya didn't even _care _about what Leonard did?

"It's bad enough that he talks about work on our dates," Priya sighed.

"You know what? Don't go. Just say you have a meeting or something." Penny walked quickly from the building, slamming the door open, leaving it to swing violently.

Noisily getting into her car, she pulled out with too much aggression and drove to the grocery store, scowling at everything. What she wouldn't give to have Leonard ask her to go to one of his lectures instead of Priya. She would gladly sit there listening to him talk, letting his voice soothe her as he spoke passionately about some theory or experiment. After that, she would grin proudly at him and tell him how interesting he made a subject she had no understanding of sound. He didn't know it, but she'd initiate sex when they got back to his apartment because for some reason, him talking smart turned her on. Even in that corduroy suit and silly tie.

Penny found herself smiling slightly as she parked her car as these thoughts filled her mind. As she stepped out of her car and headed into the store, her thoughts traced back to why she was so angry at Priya. Grabbing a trolley, she fought the urge to text Priya saying that Leonard deserved better, that Leonard deserved somebody who cared about what he did and wanted to attend his lectures. But as Penny picked up a bunch of bananas, she decided there were much better ways to show Priya what she really thought of her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - Basically this chapter is just 5Mississippis fault. (Thank you for the idea and the entertainment!) It was a lot of fun writing this chapter, the funnier parts and exploring a bit more of what is going on between Leonard & Penny. I hope the parts with all the thoughts make sense, in my mind they do but writing them down is much more difficult. Hope you guys enjoy! **

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites so far, you guys are awesome. Keep them coming, always encouraging and massively appreciated! **

* * *

"Oh my God, I am _so _sorry!"

"That's okay, it's not too bad."

"It was my nails!"

"They've done worse..."

"Shut up!"

"That's not what you were saying five minutes ago."

"Very funny. Oh _God _I can't believe I did that! I'm so, _so _sorry!"

"It's fine, it was the heat of the moment. I must be _good _if you have to grip that hard."

"Here, I'll get you a band aid. Oh _God, _I can't believe I made a guys butt cheek bleed with my fingernails. Damnit you are good."

"You gave me sex wounds. I am _amazing._"

"Hmm, I suppose you are." Penny stepped back, grinning. "There."

Leonard turned his head. "You seriously put a Hello Kitty band aid on my ass?"

Biting her lip, Penny nodded. "I don't have any others. But it's cute! Your cute little tushy has a cute little Hello Kitty band aid!"

"Because of your vicious death grip on my ass." He turned around to face her, smirking.

"Hey, you said sex wounds. Vicious death grip sounds like... well it doesn't match the context." Penny giggled, before leaning in to kiss him. She had intended for it to be a quick kiss, but in their post-sex euphoria it quickly turned passionate, and she found herself whispering in his ear, "You wanna go again?"

* * *

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Those are my pants."

He looked down and, laughing, realizing that he was indeed pulling on Penny's red pants instead of his own blue jeans. "Oh..."

"Here," She picked up his pants from the sofa and threw them to him.

"Thank you," He caught the pants, before pulling off Penny's and throwing them over to Penny.

"Clearly I am just as good as you are, if you can't even work out which pants are yours." Penny grinned.

"Hmm," Leonard tilted his head as if to consider this, which earned him a glare from Penny.

"You better give the right answer or there will be worse things on your ass than fingernail cuts and marks." Penny zipped up her pants, bending to pick up her shirt.

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"Leonard!" Penny ran over and hit him with her shirt, trying to maintain a serious face but bursting into giggles. She pulled her shirt on, shaking her head at the disappointed look on his face. "Well I'm not going to stay shirtless, it's cold."

"_Exactly_." Leonard grinned at Penny's confused expression, then finished getting dressed as she threw her pillows and comforter back onto her bed. He missed this; joking and messing around, just _laughing _with each other. But as soon as he let himself think these things, he became scared and nervous.

He had never been the kind of guy who cheated on his girlfriend. He didn't understand why he had become that guy; at first he had convinced himself it was just a one-time thing, because of course he was always going to have feelings for Penny, and they needed to get it out of their system. But then it happened again, and it kept happening, and he was scared to think about the real reason behind this. He wanted to stay, just sit with her and watch TV, or something, but that did nothing to convince him that this was nothing more than sex. And she gave him no clues, no hints that she _wanted _him to stay. Besides, each time they tried to hang out like friends, there was always a sexual tension between them, and they almost always ended up having sex. He always promised himself it wouldn't happen again; it wasn't fair to Penny, or to him. _Or to Priya, _he reminded himself. It scared him that Penny managed to make him forget about Priya, _what is that supposed to mean?_

"What are you staring at?"

Leonard shook his head as Penny took him out of his complicated thought process. "Nothing," He offered a small smile. "Just thinking I should go back to my apartment and get to work on my paper."

"Oh," Penny gave a little nod. "Well, you should get back, then."

They walked through to her apartment door quietly.

"Well, thank you, Penny."

Penny grinned, knowing exactly what he was thanking her for. Some things never changed. "You're welcome, Leonard. And again, I'm sorry for, you know, sex wounds thing. Next time I'll try to keep my hands off your ass."

He laughed, remembering the Hello Kitty Band-Aid on his butt cheek, but his mind fixated on _next time _- was she really thinking about or hoping for a next time, or was it just a joke? "Well... at least I have a cute Band-Aid to remember this by."

"You're lucky it's not a scar that will be there eternally. Though that would be an interesting conversation topic." _With your girlfriend,_ Penny thought with an evil smirk.

"Why would I bring up my own tushy in a conversation?"

"I dunno, ego boost?" Penny shrugged. "You know, like, 'I'm so great in bed this girl gripped my ass so hard it left a scar' - that kind of thing!"

"Huh, I suppose. Though I don't think I'll be bringing it up, so..."

"Yeah."

He gave her a guilty look, as though trying to apologize for reminding her that he can't bring this up because of Priya. "Umm... I should get back to my paper."

"Yeah," Penny repeated. She opened the door for him and watched him leave, shutting her door only when she had seen him close his door.

She stayed there, with her hand on her doorknob, thinking. It always hurt when he left. It hurt when he reminded her of Priya, even if he didn't mean to. It hurt when she remembered they weren't together, that he had a girlfriend, who was a bitch, and she was just the ex-girlfriend. Penny knew that she would always take this pain, over and over and over again, if it meant she got the amazing moments beforehand that only happened with Leonard. She knew it was foolish, wrong, stupid, and that she really shouldn't, but she also knew that when she was with him, she didn't care. Maybe one day she would care but right now, she wanted those moments. And if she had to hurt afterwards, then that was fine, because to her, it was worth it. There was always alcohol to numb the pain.

And with that, she rushed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine to tide her through until tomorrow morning. Sitting down on the couch and taking a sip straight from the bottle, she thought about how innocently this had started. He'd stopped by to give her a parcel that had been left downstairs for her, and all of a sudden they were making out; he hadn't even crossed into her apartment. She wasn't even sure who had kissed who first, or why, but _damn _that kiss had been amazing. Taking another sip of her wine, she switched on the TV to find Friends was on.

_"I take thee, Rachel-"_

"Oh, Rach," Penny shook her head. "At least you get back together in the end. Ross loves you, just like you love him. You just need to tell him."

* * *

Leonard got changed in the bathroom that night, not wanting Priya to see the Hello Kitty Band-Aid that would give away so much. He had locked the door for extra measure, in case she tried to come in. She _was _a fan of shower sex, after all, but this definitely wasn't the time. When he got back to him room, he found her already in bed, sitting up reading a book.

"You took your time," she commented, folding down the corner of the page and setting it down, before patting the bed beside her.

He got in beside her, lying down and pulling the comforter up to his neck. She slid down to lie with him, before running her hands up his chest and trying to kiss him, but he pulled away and turned around to face the other side. "Not tonight, Priya."

"Oh, come on, Leonard." She put her hand on his arm.

"I'm tired, I don't feel like it." He shrugged her hand off.

"What, did you already have sex with someone else today?" She asked, only half-joking. She stroked her hand up his leg, letting it rest on his ass, and he prayed that she wouldn't feel the Band-Aid through the material of his boxers.

"What?" His eyes widened, and he was grateful that she couldn't see his face. "No! No... I'm just tired."

"Hmm." Priya sighed, frowning, before turning over to face away from Leonard, staring blankly at the wall.

Leonard let his body relax as her touch left him, and closed his eyes. Who would have thought he'd one day be turning down sex.

* * *

**A/N - I did consider writing a separate bit of smut for this... but I think I'm just going to leave it to your imaginations to decide what they got up to ;) Muahaha. But don't let that stop you from leaving a review! ****  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N - So I kind of went shopping today and bought a Hello Kitty mug... and Hello Kitty cookies (coooookies) which came in a cute little tin! Oops. This chapter is the longest one I've written, took me a while to write and had to do some physics research for it! Hoping I've still got my characters IC! Enjoy :) **

* * *

Leonard stormed into Penny's apartment, slamming the door behind him and flopping down onto the couch, before putting his head in his hands and sighing loudly.

"Umm... hi?" Penny raised a brow, putting her empty plate into the sink.

"Yeah, hi," Leonard grunted.

"What's up?" She walked cautiously toward the couch, trying to work out what the best approach would be here. She hadn't seen him angry like this before. He just sighed in response, so she sat down next to him. "Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to leave you alone?"

With another sigh, Leonard shrugged, before looking up at Penny, then back down at the floor. "Why do girls make such a big deal out of _everything_?"

"Because we're-" She stopped; his face clearly told her this was not the time to try and make a joke. "Sorry. I don't know. You wanna tell me what happened?"

Leonard shrugged. Penny was probably the last person he should speak to about this, but also the person who would understand the most and give the best advice. "I dunno."

"I'm a girl. I can probably explain whatever happened." Although pretty sure she already knew the answer, she followed up her statement by asking, "is this to do with Priya?"

Leonard sighed. "Yup." He lifted his head and slumped down, tilting his head back to rest over the back of the couch.

"What did she say?" Penny knew she probably crossing some kind of boundary, but right now she could see that he needed her as a friend.

"Well, she's been mad at me for like two days just because I said I didn't want to have sex with her one night," Leonard brought his hands up to rub his temples. "How stupid is that? I was tired! My ass had a freakin' Hello Kitty Band-Aid on it! I mean it was _one _time that I said no, and she acts as if I said we have to be celibate for the rest of our lives."

Penny felt a little surge of guilt at the mention of the Band-Aid, followed by a pang of sadness at the fact that he had only turned sex with Priya down _once_. But she hid a smile when she realized he'd never turned sex with Penny down, not once, not even when they weren't dating. "Mmhmm," She said as a response, urging him to continue.

"And then she's all, 'oh, Leonard, I don't think I can come to your lecture this weekend, I have a meeting'," He said the last part in perfect imitation of Priya's voice, which Penny almost laughed at. "Yeah, meetings like you always conveniently have whenever I have a lecture, or suggest we go to see someone give a lecture."

Penny frowned at this, taking in some of Leonard's anger. She had given Priya many reasons to go; she had thought telling Priya that when she had dated Leonard she had attended all his lectures, would make her want to go just to show off. Apparently she didn't care enough about his work to even do that. "What? That's terrible!"

"I told her that it's a little odd that she always has a meeting whenever this happens, and that maybe she didn't understand or like what I was talking about. I said that even you went to all my lectures - and then suddenly she was going on about how maybe I should ask _Penny _instead, if _Penny _loves Physics lectures so much maybe I should take _Penny _and go for dinner with _Penny _afterwards and perhaps _Penny _won't have to work and maybe _Penny _could even drive you there - I mean what the hell is that about! I was just pointing out that if you sat through my lectures, she could do it too!"

_Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know why I was brought up so much... _Penny bit her lip nervously. She battled with herself, wondering if she should tell Leonard that Priya knew they had slept with each other. But as far as Penny was aware of, Priya only thought they had slept together once. Judging by the way she kept running to her for advice, she figured that Priya was probably none the wiser about all the other times. And while she thought Leonard should probably know what Priya knew, Penny realized it wasn't her place to tell him. Instead she settled on asking, "If Priya is mad about me... why did you come to mine?"

Leonard sat back up properly, and rested his arms across his knees, leaning forwards as he looked at the ground. "She went to Raj's. I asked her why she was so obsessed with you going to the lectures, and she said it's my fault for bringing it up, and I told her you're just a friend and she just said she doesn't want to talk about it, and that she was going to Raj's and stomped off."

_Just a friend? _Penny frowned, hurt. _Is that all I am to you? After all this time, I'm... just a friend? _But she knew she wasn't supposed to focus on that. While Priya's argument did seem to stem from nothing that really ought to bring up an argument - she could sort of understand where she was coming from. Penny hadn't forgotten the look on Priya's face when she had handed her her panties in a little plastic bag, and she had no doubts that the majority of Priya's anger came from that. She knew why Priya was making such a big fuss over Leonard mentioning that she, Penny, had attended his lectures. She knew that Priya probably didn't believe Leonard saying that Penny was 'just a friend' - but then, that was Priya's own fault for not telling him what she knew. She also knew that Leonard didn't really have a strong argument - he was, after all, the one in a relationship, who had cheated on Priya, and was now bitching about her to his ex-girlfriend - but that was hardly something that would comfort him.

"I mean I know I've cheated on Priya, and I'm the biggest ass in the world right now, but she's not exactly innocent in all of this either! She talks to her ex-boyfriend on Facebook, and texts him - I don't read the messages but I see those stupid notifications with his stupid name there." Leonard said, as though he had read Penny's mind. "Why does she get to tell me I can't see my friend anymore if she gets to talk to her ex-boyfriend?"

"Sweetie, you just have to talk-"

"Seriously Penny, that's your advice? _Talk_?"

"Look, just let me finish." Penny rolled her eyes, trying to work out why she was even giving relationship advice, to the guy who was cheating on his girlfriend with her. "She told you she's uncomfortable with you seeing me, right? And I know you haven't exactly stuck to that rule... well, you haven't... but you're allowed to tell her you're not comfortable with her talking to _her _ex-boyfriend."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Penny shrugged. "I would have more advice but..." She paused, her voice going quiet when she next spoke. "You know... it's you, and Priya, and it's just difficult." She bit her lip and closed her eyes, she'd never expressed to Leonard that she'd found dealing with him being in a relationship 'difficult'. Deciding she needed to save herself, she added "plus, you haven't exactly stuck to your promise, and when I slept with my boyfriends brother, the only advice _I _got was 'who was better'?"

Leonard let out a small chuckle. "That's not advice."

"Yeah, well, that's my sister for you."

"Ah," Leonard nodded.

Penny almost wanted to ask Leonard who _he _thought was better - but she knew it was best not to ask, or have an answer. Leonard, meanwhile, had his own private decision on who was better, but he wasn't about to go saying it out loud. The pair sat awkwardly on the sofa for a few minutes, staring at the floor.

"Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is there a Physics for Dummies book under that pile of magazines?" Leonard pointed to the pile in question.

Penny jutted her jaw out, realizing that trying to cover a book with a stack of magazines didn't mean no one could read the title. "Oh, Bernadette got it for me as a joke."

"And you've been reading it?"

"What? No!" Penny tried to laugh it off. "Why would I _read _it?"

"I don't know, but clearly you are." Leonard pulled slightly at the bookmark which was poking out. "Bookmark."

"Okay fine I read some of it," Penny put her hands up. "Okay, so Rotational Dynamics and Simple Harmonic Motion aren't _that_ boring, blah blah blah."

But Leonard was gone at Rotational Dynamics, and he forgot all his problems as his mouth crashed onto hers.

* * *

"No, no, no!" Penny groaned as she heard knocking at the door. "I'm not even out of my panties yet, _I don't want visitors_!" Leonard chuckled and began to pull away, but Penny kept her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him back down, pushing her hips to his. "No, Leonard, come on! It's just Amy and Bernadette. They'll go away, just take off my panties."

"But I didn't lock the door."

"Oh for God's sake!" Penny groaned as she let go of him. "JUST A SECOND!" She yelled extra loudly, for good measure. "Quick, put your pants back on and pass my bra and shirt. And my pants... but not my panties, because evidently God hates me and I still have them on."

Leonard got off the sofa, laughing, and picked up the clothes in question so they could re-dress themselves. He then assumed an innocent position on the couch, grabbing the Physics for Dummies book and opening it to the bookmarked page as Penny gave a quick nod, straightened her shirt and opened the door.

"Hey," Penny greeted Amy and Bernadette quickly. "Leonard was just explaining Rotational Dynamics to me."

"Yeah," Leonard shut the book and stood up. "Basically it's just the effect of torque on the rotating body."

"Mm," It took everything in Penny's power not to put the whole rotating body thing back into action, and she had to remind herself that Leonard was talking about _physics_, but that did nothing to stop her mind from wandering. "Thanks, Leonard."

"No problem," He smiled awkwardly and stepped passed Amy and Bernadette into his own apartment.

"So you're really getting into this Physics book?" Bernadette grinned as she sat down on the couch.

"Apparently," Penny nodded, sitting down on the chair by the couch, deciding it should be a strict rule to lock her apartment door from now on.

* * *

**(A/N - Guest Review RE Penny worrying that Leonard will cheat on her in the future - yes, she definitely will be. Maybe that's got something to do with her insecurities with Alex.) **

**Season finale tonight, yikes! :( (If any UK residents are up watching tonight, high five for dedication!) **

**Reviews are awesome :) **


	20. Chapter 20

Grumbling angrily, Penny tumbled out of bed to answer whoever was knocking on her door. Didn't everybody know by know, that knocking on her door in the morning on her day off was out of the question? She stole a quick glance at her phone to check the time; it was past 11am, so at least she wouldn't have any throats to punch. Though, it _was _her birthday, so she really should be allowed to sleep for as long as she wanted, and punch anyone's throat if they said otherwise.

"Mh, hello?" Penny yawned as she yanked the door open.

"Hey sleepy," Leonard grinned from the doorway.

Penny blinked, her eyes finally adjusting from being abruptly awoken. "Oh, hey Leonard. I'm sorry, no gym today, it's my birthday, I can be fat if I want to."

"That's not why I'm here! I already figured you wouldn't be going anyway," He continued grinning.

"Well aren't you a genius," Penny gave a small smile, wishing she'd at least thrown her robe on over her pajamas.

"Yeah, I guess I kinda am." Leonard chuckled. "Anyway, I just came by to wish you a happy birthday."

Penny's eyes lit up. "Aw, thank you!"

"A-and," Leonard paused, moving his hand from behind his back to hold out a pink gift bag. "I got you a birthday present!"

"Oh my God!" Penny grinned excitedly, taking the gift bag. "You didn't have to! Aw, thanks Leonard." She gave him a quick hug, before pulling back and shaking the bag slightly. "Can I see what's in here?"

"Sure,"

"Yay! O-kay," Penny tore off the bit of tape, which was closing the gift bag, her eyes widening when she saw an assortment of gifts. "Ooh!" Like a small child, she grinned as she started to go through them. "Wine... yup, perfect. A gift voucher! I'm _so _gonna go shopping! Jesus, Leonard, I can buy _two _new outfits with what's on here! Hello Kitty Band-Aids, of course."

She quickly smirked up at him before turning her attention back to the rest of the bags contents. "Candy... that'll come in handy next week. A Hello Kitty car air freshener? I didn't even know they make those! Oh, that's going to look so cute. Oh my God, I love this photo of us! And the frame is really cute, that's going on my nightstand! Thank you, Leonard. Oh, this is _so _sweet," Penny grinned. "I love everything in this bag." She gave him a quick hug, not letting herself hold onto him for too long because she could feel her barriers coming down too quickly.

"That's okay," Leonard smiled sheepishly. "Are you doing anything to celebrate?"

"Just going out with the girls."

"That sounds like fun, I hope you have a good night." He smiled as she nodded. "Sorry for waking you, I just wanted to say happy birthday before-"

But Penny cut him off, knowing he was going to make up some excuse to cover up the fact that he wouldn't be able to wish her a happy birthday while Priya was around. "No, that's okay, Leonard. Thank you."

They smiled goofily at each other for a moment, before Leonard pulled Penny towards him and kissed her. It was quick, but passionate. He held her by the waist and hair, as her arms came around his neck, her fingers curling into his hair. Penny felt her knees go weak, and she increased her grip around him. She couldn't help but moan into him, almost going dizzy from the way he was working his lips against hers. She could feel her heart beating wildly against her chest, and she hoped he couldn't feel it, because it gave away more than she cared to admit.

Leonard pulled away, smiling at her, not noticing how her pupils had dilated. "I have to get to the gym. Happy birthday, Penny."

"Mm, yeah, great," Penny felt the words tumble out of her mouth, her mind giddy and unfocussed.

She tried to catch her breath as she watched Leonard pick up his gym bag from where he had left it by the elevator, and realized that she would _definitely _not be going back to sleep.

* * *

Finishing what felt like her hundredth free birthday drink from yet another guy, Penny grinned excitedly at Amy and Bernadette, who were swaying out-of-time to the music. "Guess what!"

"What?" Amy turned to face her eagerly, slopping some of her cocktail down her shirt.

"I got a birthday kiss from Leonard!"

"Ooh!" Amy and Bernadette chorused, leaning in and making kissy noises as if they were six-year-old girls in the schoolyard. "You kissed a booooy!"

"I know!" Penny giggled, putting a hand to her mouth. "On the _lips_! With _tongue_!"

"Woo! You go bestie!" Amy raised her glass to Penny before taking a sip.

"And! We had-" Penny lowered her voice to a whisper. "S-e-x!" She giggled. "But not today, today I just had wine, I love wine. Not as much as Leonard but on my birthday I'm allowed wine!"

Bernadette gasped. "Make sure your mom doesn't find out!"

"I would _so _be grounded," Penny shook her head. "And don't tell, don't tell his girlfriend, or she will tell me off to my mom." Her eyes widened. "Or to my dad! Oh, he will be so _mad _if he finds out!"

"Penny's gonna be in trou-ble!" Amy sang. "Coitus is naughty."

"_Coitus_." Penny repeated curiously.

"Me and Howie have lots of coitus," Bernadette grinned proudly. "Lots and lots of naughty coitus!"

"Eww!" Penny moaned. "Yuck!" She picked up the glass of wine she had been drinking from before she had received the free cocktail. "Ah, wine." She smiled, before putting the glass down and covering her mouth. "Uh-oh!"

She stumbled quickly to the bathroom, followed by Amy and Bernadette, bumping into various other drunken people. They found Penny throwing up in one of the sinks, and Amy quickly ran into a stall to be sick.

"Sick doesn't make me sick," Bernadette swayed on the spot. "Because I'm a micro... micro-bololo-lologist!"

"_And _you're a micro-person!" Penny giggled, lifting up the bottom of her dress to wipe her mouth as Amy stepped out of the stall. "Amy's a neuron!"

"I'm a neuron!" Amy exclaimed, bursting into laughter.

Once the girls had gotten over their giggle fit, they decided to go outside to get some air, so they joined the congregation of people outside the bar. Moments later a tall guy with dark hair came up to them, beer in hand, cigarette in the other.

"Can I take you fine ladies home?"

"We're taken," Penny waved her hand to shoo him off.

"No she's not!" Amy piped up. "She's not, Penny's not taken. It's her birthday!"

"Amy!" Penny frowned. "Don't listen to her, she's drunk!"

"Whatever," the guy shrugged, returning to his friends.

"I think-" Penny hiccoughed. "I think I need to go home, I don't want to go home with a strange guy."

The girls agreed, so Bernadette called Howard, taking longer than usual because of her slurred words and constant giggles. They waited awhile, turning down four more guys, before Howard arrived and they tumbled into the car. Howard dropped Penny off first, since she lived closest, and looked in a worse state than the other two. He took her up the stairs, holding her so that she didn't fall each time she tripped over a step.

"If I wasn't totally in love with another guy, I would _so _kiss you right now," Penny slurred at him, once they had reached her apartment door.

"Not to mention I have a girlfriend," Howard pointed out, vowing to never agree to doing the girls-night-out pick-up again.

"Ooh, yeah, Bernie! _Never _hurt my little tiny Bernadette!" She frowned. "I left my bag in the car! My key! My _phone_!"

Howard sighed. He didn't want to leave Penny standing here while he went to get the key, but he also didn't want to have to take her back down with him, and back up, just for the bag. Then it dawned on him Sheldon and Leonard probably had a spare key, so, praying somebody would wake up, he knocked on the door.

"What are you doing?" Penny whispered loudly, leaning against the wall. "They're _sleeping_! Bad Howie!"

"I'm seeing if the guys have a spare key,"

"Your pants are _really _tight." Penny giggled.

Howard was about to answer, when Leonard opened the door. "Howard? It's three in the morning!"

"I know, I'm sorry, Penny left her bag in the car and I didn't want to leave her standing there alone - do you have a spare key to her apartment?"

"Oh, yeah," Leonard yawned as he took her key from the bowl.

"Leonard!" Penny launched herself past Howard at Leonard.

"He-ey," Leonard shook his head, keeping an arm round Penny to stop her from falling.

"I'll bring her bag tomorrow, I don't want Bernie or Amy being sick in my car or something if I leave them for too long."

"Sure," Leonard nodded. "Thanks, Howard."

Howard left, and Penny kept herself attached to Leonard. "Shall we get you back to your apartment?"

Penny shook her head, grinning. Leonard moved his head back slightly as the smell of alcohol on her drifted towards him; he could never get used to it. Suddenly Penny began running across the apartment, dropping her shoes. Sighing, he went after her, praying that she wouldn't wake Sheldon or fall over. He found her in his room, pulling off her dress.

"Umm, what are you doing?"

Penny stepped out of her dress clumsily. "I'm sleepy," She said simply, as she began rummaging through Leonard's chest of drawers. "Hmm," She pulled out various garments of clothing as she swayed on the spot, Leonard standing in the doorway, at a loss for what to do. "Aha!"

Penny grinned as she found Leonard's periodic table t-shirt, and pulled it on over her underwear. "Do I look sexy?" She tried to put her hand on her hip, but stumbled, grabbing onto the edge of the drawer and steadying herself.

"Uh..." Leonard wished his mind wasn't thinking _yes, you look ridiculously hot in my t-shirt, even when you're drunk. _He tried to convince himself that she didn't; he thought about her messy hair which he was pretty sure had bits of sick in it, and her smudged make-up, but it didn't work. "Umm, sure."

"Woo!" Penny fist pumped the air. "Can you get me some water?"

"Sure." Leonard left the room, still completely unsure of what was going on. He shook his head as he fetched the water, returning to find Penny lying in his bed, the comforter up to her neck. "I got your water... why are you in my bed? You should go back to your apartment and brush your teeth."

"Leonard," Penny's eyes suddenly filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled. "I don't want to be alone on my birthday, I hate being alone, and I'm _reeaallllyyy _drunk right now and I know you hate me, _I _hate me, but can I sleep here tonight?"

"Penny..."

"Please?"

"Okay. I'll sleep on the couch."

Penny shook her head. "I need you to hold me."

Leonard felt his heart melt. Even in her messy state, she still managed to look and sound adorable. He had seen her in various stages of drunk: giggly, sex-fuelled, noisy, worryingly quiet, aggressive... but never as upset as this. And how could he say no? She just wanted someone to be with her on her birthday (although, it technically wasn't her birthday anymore). Besides, Priya was still staying at Raj's, they had made up but she hadn't stayed the night since their argument. Leonard knew he couldn't say no to Penny; his heart wouldn't let him and his mind didn't want to leave her alone when she was this drunk and upset.

"Please," She begged him again.

"Okay," He took off his robe and got into his bed beside her, and she instantly rolled into his arms, sobbing. "It's okay, Penny. Don't be sad on your birthday."

Penny sobbed for a few more minutes as Leonard rubbed her back. Drowsiness quickly took over, and before long she was asleep with her mouth slightly open. Leonard quickly decided he didn't mind the horrible smell of various mixed drinks she was breathing at him; knowing Penny was safe and asleep in his arms was easier than leaving her alone in her apartment, drunk and upset, without anybody to look after her.

* * *

**A/N - Phew, that was a long chapter, and a tough one to write! There will be no drunken sexy times, but I haven't quite figured out what I want to happen next. I won't be updated for a week or two, since I am going on vacation! I'll have time to read, review, respond, etc but not write - so I have plenty of time to think over what's to come, or try work any reader suggestions/ideas into my plans for this fic. I love hearing from you guys! So, leave me a review, because you all know how much I love those, especially for chapters like these :) **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N - I'm back (if you hadn't noticed that from my other two updates)! While writing this I was like, woah, it's far too easy to draw on my own experiences for writing drunk / hungover Penny... but you know, it bodes well for my writing. Thanks for the reviews you left over my holidays, you guys are awesome! Anyway, without further ado, here is Chapter 21! (I will try get to work on Chapter 22 ASAP to make up for lost time!) Enjoy, review, live long and prosper. **

* * *

Despite the pounding in her head and her throat feeling drier than the Sahara Desert, a wave of joy washed over Penny as she awoke to feel Leonard behind her. She knew it was him, because of the way his hand was linked with hers, resting gently across her hip and hovering slightly above her stomach. Their legs had intertwined, and she could feel his steady breathing against her neck.

She remembered how once they had been in this exact position, except Leonard had been kissing her neck to wake her up. The moment his lips found the spot on her neck that drove her crazy was the moment she let out a conscious moan. Penny smiled as she distinctly remembered where his mouth had moved next, and how she had decided that morning that sometimes it was okay to be awoken before 11am.

Eyes coming into focus, Penny saw the bottle of water on the nightstand, and sat up slowly before grabbing the bottle and taking a long drink. She frowned slightly at the taste of sick that she had left around the rim of the bottle, she guessed from the night before, but took another sip anyway. Putting the lid back on the bottle, Penny looked down and realized that she was wearing Leonard's t-shirt.

"Oh God..."

Trying to think back to what happened last night, she put a hand to her head. They were at the bar... she could remember doing four Jagerbombs in a row as a dare, to win a bottle of wine... but nothing came to mind after that. What the hell had happened after that? And how had she ended up in Leonard's t-shirt?

Looking over at Leonard, she saw that he still had his white t-shirt on. She was pretty sure he had his boxers on, though she decided against checking. Running a hand down her body, Penny noted that she still had her underwear on. With a quiet sigh of relief, she concluded this to mean that they hadn't had drunken sex the night before; with Leonard, she was never one for keeping her underwear on, and she definitely always pulled off his t-shirt.

Deciding that was enough thinking for her poor head, Penny brought her knees up to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut as she tilted her head back to lean against the headboard. _Why do you never learn, Penny, _she thought, her mind now trying to find what had happened after those shots and the free wine, to no avail. She felt Leonard move, and opened her eyes to see him sitting up too.

"Hey," Leonard yawned, pulling his glasses on. "How're you feeling?"

"Like someone shoved a chainsaw down my throat and used my head as a hammer," Penny groaned.

"Yeah, you look it," Leonard chucked.

"Ugh, shut up," Penny swatted a hand at him but smiled all the same.

"Seems like you had a... a great night last night."

"Mm, must have, since I can't remember most of it." Penny sighed, rubbing her eyes. "How much do you know? And... why am I in your bed?"

"Oh," Leonard looked at his hands. "I don't really know, you didn't say anything last night. Howard took you home but you left your bag in the car, so he asked me for a spare key but you didn't want to go back to your apartment. Howard's going to bring your bag over today."

"Good, I need my phone. Another question, why am I in your t-shirt and what happened to my dress?"

_Do you have to bring up the fact that you are wearing my t-shirt? _Leonard rubbed his temples, willing himself not to look at Penny, he had completely forgotten she was in his t-shirt. "I dunno. You just ran in here and took off your dress and went through my stuff and put it on." _And then asked if you look sexy, which you did, by the way. _

"Sorry," Penny bit her lip. "So I came back still in my dress, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's good, at least." Penny laughed nervously. "Anything else?"

"Oh, umm, well..." Leonard twiddled his thumbs before looking up at her. "You went all sad again and started crying."

"Didn't we decide that was called 'Drunk-Depressed Penny'?" Penny giggled, looking at him.

"Because you came home crying..."

"That I wasn't good enough for you."

They looked at each other with awkward smiles, remembering the conversation that had happened the following morning. This memory did nothing to lighten Penny's heart, and she sighed, trying to distract herself.

"Was it as bad as that?"

Leonard shook his head. "No."

"What did I say?"

"That you were really drunk, you didn't want to be alone on your birthday, that you hate yourself, and that you wanted me to hold you." Leonard said honestly. Sometimes they would laugh about her drunken antics, but other times, he just had to be honest about what she had told him. He wanted the answers just as much as she did.

"Oh." Penny looked at him and gave a little nod, her mind panicking and desperately trying to find a way out of the situation she had put herself in. "I guess I just drank _a lot _last night, if I was _that _upset," She gave a nervous laugh, slowly maneuvering herself out of Leonard's bed as her mind continued to panic wildly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Leonard looked over at her, frowning as she shook her head.

"No," She looked around his room for her dress. "It's okay, it's nothing."

"Well you seemed really upset last night, Penny. You wouldn't stop crying."

"I don't know what to say, Leonard, I was drunk." Penny shrugged, offering her small smile. "It's fine."

As she leant forward to pick up her dress, Penny's eyes widened as a hand flew to her mouth. She ran from his room, and Leonard quickly got out of bed and followed her to the bathroom, his hands pulling back her hair just before she threw up into the toilet. He held her hair with one hand and began to rub soothing circles on her back, looking around for a spare hair tie. He wondered if Priya had any in the bathroom, trying not to think of what Priya would say if she ever found out Penny had slept in his bed with him, let alone borrowed a hair tie.

Penny lifted her head from the toilet, and Leonard quickly grabbed his flannel from the towel rack and passed it to her. She wiped her mouth, briefly inhaling the scent that lingered on the flannel. "Thanks," Penny croaked, pulling it away from her mouth. "And sorry about your toilet. And your flannel."

"That's okay."

"Oh, God, why do I always do this to myself?" Penny put her hands over her face as she felt tears come to her eyes, mostly upset, but also angry at herself. "How stupid and pathetic am I, just drinking on my birthday because I have nothing better in my life, then trying to feel sorry for my hungover self the next day? I mean what the _hell _is wrong with me, Leonard?"

Leonard frowned, putting a hand on her arm. "Penny-"

"No, you know what, I have to go," Penny used the toilet to haul herself into a standing position, before quickly wiping her eyes with her hand. "I'll wash your t-shirt."

"_Penny_-"

"I have to go," Penny repeated, trying to ignore his voice and the look on his face. She turned quickly, rushing through his apartment, holding in hers sobs as she hurried past a confused Sheldon. She forced the door open before slamming it shut, and did the same with her own door, locking it and throwing herself onto her couch.

She _did _hate herself. For getting so drunk she couldn't remember anything, for knowing she'd do it again, for making a million mistakes and never learning, for crying in front of Leonard, for being weak. But as she sobbed into her couch, she decided she didn't want to face her feelings right now. Another thing she hated herself for, but they scared her, and she needed to escape herself.

Hauling herself off the couch, she wiped her face on the t-shirt. Yanking it off in her bedroom, she pulled on her robe, before remembering she didn't have her phone. Groaning, she sat at her dining table in front of her laptop, opening it and praying that Amy or Bernadette would be on Skype.

She sighed as she saw that only Howard was online. Though, he had her phone, so she guessed at least she could get that sorted. She clicked the call button and waited, deactivating the video setting quickly before he answered.

"Howard?"

"Hey, Penny, how you feeling?"

"Ugh, disgusting. Leonard said you have my bag and my phone."

"Yeah, I do, I'll bring it round."

"Thanks. Is Bernadette up?"

"Nope, she passed out on the couch last night, woke up to throw up, but she's been asleep ever since."

"Glad I'm not the only one," Penny sighed. "Hey, when she's up, can you ask her to come over? You know, have some girly-hangover time."

"Sure, I'll stop by on my way back to my mom's."

"Can you pick up Amy on the way too?"

"Okay."

"And some Chinese food?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Thanks Howard. And thank you for taking me home last night."

They said a quick goodbye and Penny closed her laptop, closing her eyes. As terrible as she felt right now, the thought of empathetic company and Chinese food brought her some comfort. As she headed to the bathroom, almost jumping back in shock when she saw the state of her face in the mirror, she prayed that she hadn't said anything about Leonard, and that if she had, that neither of them would remember.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N - Updating since I finished this last night and I am ready really early for my spin class this morning... and check this weather out, London has sunshine! Can I have a hallelujah? I can't believe this all started with a one-shot, now look what happened, I have a whole document of ****ideas and future paragraphs. (On a separate note, Game of Thrones... omg, right?!) Anyway - Chapter 22 :) Keep them reviews coming in, love love love them. I already have a pretty firm idea of how the next chapter will go so it shouldn't be a very long wait at all! UK, enjoy the sunshine! **

* * *

After a much needed shower, Penny pulled on her Nebraska t-shirt and a pair of shorts, before making herself a large mug of coffee. She sat down in front of the TV, slowly sipping away as she found herself watching a re-run of Doctor Who. She tried to remember if the Doctor in this episode was the one Leonard argued was his favorite, but Sheldon argued was the worst, but couldn't work it out. Once she was done, she made herself some toast and took some aspirin with plenty of water. She managed a short nap before she heard a knock at her door, and opened in to find Howard, Amy and Bernadette.

"Hey," She croaked, squinting as her eyes adjusted to her newly awoken state.

Howard held out both his arms. "Your bag, and the Chinese food."

"The latest issue of Vogue," Amy held up the magazine in her hands.

"Ah, thanks," Penny grinned as she took the two bags from Howard.

The girls stepped into her apartment after saying goodbye to Howard, immediately sitting down around the coffee table. Penny sat in the single chair, giving Amy and Bernadette the couch.

"Ugh, I am so excited to eat this Chinese food, you have no idea," Penny pulled opened the first box that she reached and quick stuffed an Egg Roll into her mouth.

"Me too," Bernadette nodded, fiddling with her chopsticks as she picked at her noodles. "It smelt so good in the car I almost ate it there and then."

There was a pause in conversation as the girls tucked into their food, wolfing it down eagerly as though they hadn't eaten in months.

"So," Penny set her box on her lap. "Anybody remember anything from last night? Because I literally have _no _clue what happened after all those Jagerbombs. Which, by the way, I totally blame Amy for, because she convinced me it was a good idea."

Amy shrugged. "Oh, don't blame me bestie, I thought you wanted to have fun!"

"Oh, it was fun!" Penny grinned. "I am _so _the champion of shots."

"I remember the free bottle of wine. I think that did it for me," Amy nodded to herself. "Yes, I have no recollection of what happened once we finished that bottle of wine. Apart from Bernadette trying to convince the barman that he had promised us two bottles of wine."

"It was worth a try," Bernadette smirked. "And I _did _get a free glass of wine out of it... once I leant forward on the bar."

Penny shook her head, giggling. "I've taught you well."

"Mh," Bernadette put down her chopsticks. "I'm so glad you asked Howie to stop by that Chinese place. He's so sweet, he told me he got me to have a huge glass of water as soon as we got back, so I don't feel too bad today."

"Sheldon sent me a text this morning which said 'If you look anything as bad as Penny does today, you will receive no sympathy from me. But as social convention, I feel obliged to inform you that should you need it for your hangover, I will provide you with a cup of coffee.' It's so sexy when he's caring like that." Amy said dreamily.

"Yeah, Le-" Penny stopped quickly, her eyes looking down at the floor before quickly recovering herself. "Yeah, it's great when you have someone to look after you the next morning. If you have that someone." She added the last part for extra measure.

"Aw, sorry, I often forget flaunting mine and Sheldon's ever-growing relationship can make others jealous. Sorry, bestie." Amy gave a sincere nod and a smile.

"Yeah, _that's _what it is," Penny rolled her eyes. "It's not _you _Amy, it's _both _of you and how you _always _talk about Howard and Sheldon."

"Sorry," Bernadette offered a smile too. "You know, you could always pick a guy up at a bar, and then he can take care of you in the morning."

"Is that an innuendo?" Amy turned her head to Bernadette. "Because if so, the double meaning is _brilliant_."

"Hmm, it wasn't intended." Bernadette smirked. "But yes, _take care _of you, too."

"But I don't want that!" Penny moaned. "I want what you guys have... well, maybe not like _Sheldon_, because that's... well, weird - sorry, Ames, but it is. I want a guy who can take care of me, _and, _you know, _take care _of me. I want a guy who can give me such an amazing, earthshattering orgasm it sends me to the other end of the galaxy and makes me scream and grip my fingers on him so hard I-" Penny paused and took a breath, her face flushing red. "But I also want him to be the kind of guy who will cuddle with me on the couch when I'm wearing his t-shirt, who puts a bucket by my bed in case I'm sick in the night, who tells me I look pretty even without any make-up and..." She sighed, before realizing she had been rambling. "I just want... that."

"Wow, you're really not asking for much, are you?" Amy said sarcastically.

"I know, but..." Penny looked longingly at her door, as though trying to see through it to the door of 4A and beyond. "I'm done with the whole sleeping around thing. I want what you guys have, I want a relationship."

"You know, I _do _remember you saying something about Leonard last night." Bernadette said suddenly. She knew it was risky, but since they were on the subject of relationships anyway, she thought she'd give it a shot.

"Really?" Penny scrunched up her face as though the idea of this was ridiculous. "What did I say?" She tried not to sound curious as she asked this.

"I can't remember," Bernadette shook her head. "Oh well."

"How are things going with you and Leonard, anyway?" Amy asked.

"Oh, I dunno..." Penny looked at her hands nervously. _God _she hated that question. She didn't even want to think about it, let alone talk about it. "It's still hard seeing him with Priya, but it's okay." She got up to walk to the kitchen quickly, opening the fridge and pretending to look for something as she tried to blink back the tears that had formed in her eyes. "I'll get over him."

Penny knew it was a lie, she couldn't fool herself, but she had to say something to stop their questions.

Amy and Bernadette looked at each other. She had never said that; she'd only told them that she wasn't over him. They gave each other a small nod, silently deciding that this was a good sign - to the pair of them, it seemed like more of a positive sign than a negative statement.

As Penny rummaged through her fridge, Amy leaned in close to Bernadette and whispered, "It's taking her long enough."

Bernadette nodded, ready to reply, but she shut her mouth and Amy leant away as Penny returned from the fridge with a bottle of water.

"So, anyway, new subject..." Penny cleared her throat. "The manager is giving me more bar shifts, if you guys wanna come give me some company on Wednesday nights that would be great."

"Ooh, that would work for me, on Wednesday's I just work the breakfast shift!" Bernadette grinned.

"Of course we will be there," Amy nodded. "As long as you promise not to get me as drunk as last night."

Penny giggled. "I promise."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N - It always makes me giggle when I get a review or PM saying 'I saw a Hello Kitty thing today and it reminded me of this fic' - muahaha, infiltrating readers minds with Hello Kitty. And how people used 'sex wounds' in the reviews! This is still the same day as the last chapter... but I quite like this chapter. I will be focussing a bit more on Leonard later on, and I know some of you are eager for answers and emotional revelations and stuff - I promise you that will happen but I'm evil so I'm dragging things out! So, here's the next chapter, keep those lovely wonderful funny reviews coming in, and enjoy! **

* * *

Once the girls had left, Penny practically threw herself onto her bed, face first. As much as she loved the company, she ached, she felt sick, she was overthinking. All she wanted to do was fall asleep right there, and wake up feeling fresh as a daisy, without a care in the world. She squeezed her eyes shut, groaning into her pillow. She stayed like this for a while, trying to block out the world and her thoughts, but when a few minutes later she realized it wasn't working, she sat herself up.

The first thing she saw was the gift bag Leonard had given her. She realized there was a card attached which she hadn't opened, and flung herself to the other side of the bed to reach out and take it. Dragging herself back again to lean against the headboard, she tore open the envelope eagerly, opening it without even looking at the front.

A strip of paper fell out, and Penny realized it was photo paper. Turning it around, she saw it was a strip of photos that had printed from the photo booth at the mall, almost a year ago. She smiled softly as she ran a finger down the strip. It featured photos of them laughing and pulling faces, and the last one was her favorite, the one of them kissing. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked over the photos again, remembering how she had sat on his lap while he held her around the waist, because the seat in the photo booth was only made for one person.

She put the photo strip down before picking up the open card again.

_Dear Penny,_

_Happy birthday! Hope you have an amazing day and get to celebrate in true Penny style. Don't forget to have some birthday cake - all that working out at the gym means you're allowed! _

_I thought you'd like these photos. You insisted on me keeping them, as it only printed out one copy. I don't know if you remember, but we took these in that photo booth outside the Starbucks that always spells my name 'Lenard', a few days before your birthday. So I thought I'd give them to you for this birthday. _

_Lots of love,_

_Leonard _

Half of her wanted to throw the card and the photos across the room, the other half wanted to hold on to them forever. Tears escaping her eyes, she re-read the card over and over again, fixating on two specific parts.

'_I don't know if you remember_'. Of course she remembered. How could she not remember? Every moment they had shared was etched into her like a scar, and thinking about it and knowing he remembered too was like someone tearing that scar open. It hurt her slightly that he thought she might forget, but she knew he didn't mean in that way. She was the one who constantly pretended to conveniently not remember memories that could easily bring her tears. But of course she remembered, and having the photo strip, in which they were so happy and so... she hated to think it, but _in love_, only made those memories clearer. Looking back at the photos once more, she could see it in his eyes, and she could see it in her own eyes too.

The second part that stuck out to her was the end. '_Lots of love, Leonard'. _Sure, she wrote that in most of her cards to her friends. But they were all... just friends. Leonard was her ex-boyfriend. Yes, they were 'friends' now. But it seemed odd to see it written down, so casually, in her birthday card. Heart racing, she traced her pointer finger over the word 'love' and then his name, frowning to herself. What did it mean? Was she overthinking? She _was _overthinking, she decided. _Damn you Hofstadter_.

In an attempt to distract herself, she closed the card and laughed out loud when she saw it was a Hello Kitty card, evidently made for a child's birthday. She placed the card and the photo strip on her bedside table, knowing she'd regret it when she went to bed and had him on her mind, but knowing she didn't have it in her to put them away.

She groaned when she heard three knocks at the door, followed by her name. She stood and wiped at her eyes as this was repeated another two times, before heading over to open the door.

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"Oh my, you look worse than Amy does." Sheldon said bluntly.

"Great to see you too." Penny rolled her eyes; she was in no mood to deal with Sheldon. "What do you want?"

"I have a question to ask you regarding this whole 'friends with benefits' theory. And I need an answer, so that I don't go arguing a wrong point."

"Umm... okay."

"I saw you leaving our apartment in the early hours of the morning wearing Leonard's t-shirt. Does that mean that you and Leonard are friends with benefits?"

"What?" Penny exclaimed, taken aback. She hadn't expected that; she had also completely forgotten that Sheldon had seen her. _How the hell do I answer that? _Penny began to panic, for what felt like the millionth time that day alone. "Umm, no, we're not... we're not friends with benefits, Sheldon."

"Oh." Sheldon frowned. "Well it sure seems like it."

Penny quickly formed a lie, knowing that she needed something that Sheldon wouldn't be able to unravel. "No. I just came over while you were still asleep to see if he knew where my bag was, since I didn't have it and I thought I'd lost it. Then I was sick and it got on my clothes, so Leonard gave me his t-shirt to wear. Then you saw me leave. Just friends... no benefits." She hid a smirk, just as she hid the benefits.

"You were _sick _in _my _bathroom?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry, Sheldon-"

"Penny, you realize that I am going to have to disinfect the entire bathroom all over again?"

"I'm sorry! I'll do it for you, if you want."

"No, that's okay. You'll just do it wrong. Judging by the state of your apartment, you are the last person I would come to for cleaning help." Sheldon shook his head. "Anyway, I'm sorry for bothering you. I didn't want to feed Amy lies and give her the wrong idea about you and Leonard."

"You told Amy?" _Crap, crap, crap, _Penny ran her hands through her hair. "Why the hell would you do that?"

Sheldon looked confused. "I was telling her about my morning." He said simply, as though the answer was that obvious. "Why else would I tell her? I have no interest in what happens in you and Leonard's personal lives."

"Okay, well you tell her that me and Leonard are _not _friends with benefits, okay?"

"Well if you're not, why would I tell her that you are?" Sheldon raised a brow, before shrugging. "I think this concludes our conversation. Goodbye, Penny."

Penny watched as Sheldon walked back across the hall to his apartment, before shutting her door and leaning against it.

"This is bad..." She told herself, rubbing her temples. While she couldn't be certain that Amy would work out that what she had told Sheldon was a lie, she knew that Amy _would _tell Bernadette, and there _would _be questions. She hated questions that involved Leonard. But they both seemed to be insistent on asking them, which gave her a constant problem. She sighed, realizing she would need to remember that exact same lie she had told Sheldon, so that her details matched up with whatever she would have to tell the girls. Suddenly she wished she hadn't asked them to keep her company on her Wednesday bar shift; those evenings were always slow, and would give them plenty of opportunity to try get answers out of her. Answers she wasn't ready to give, to questions she wasn't ready to think about.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N - It's been a crazy busy weekend, I wrote most of this at some crazy hour of the morning and went over it just now, because I didn't like the original version of this chapter I had started writing! I went to the beach the other day and I was outraged that I didn't manage to win a Hello Kitty cushion in the grabby machines at the arcade... though I did find my Hello Kitty coin purse from when I was like 10, which made me giggle. Just thought I'd share that! Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter :) It's got some feelings, and some fun (in a different way) - so let me know what you think! Happy Monday! **

* * *

Sipping slowly on their wine, Amy and Bernadette watched Penny as she poured a glass of wine each for Leonard and Priya. This had been an unexpected turn in events for their Wednesday night of keeping Penny company on her shift. They had planned to simply get her talking, or at least try, but they realized that this was better. Not only could they study her around Leonard, but it would be easier to bring the subject up.

"Anything else?" Penny asked, pushing herself against the bar as she leaned the top half of her body forwards. One hand fiddled with her hair, the other gripping the edge of the bar counter tightly.

"No, that's all," Leonard smiled.

"We have a dinner reservation in a half hour." Priya said, taking her glass.

"Oh, right," Penny nodded slowly, her shoulders slouching forward slightly. Amy and Bernadette caught the frown that flickered across her face for the briefest of moments, and looked at each other quickly before turning their attention back to Penny.

"How much is that?" Leonard took out his wallet.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's on the house." Penny shrugged, offering him a shy smile.

"Thanks!" Leonard grinned. He took out a ten-dollar bill and placed it in the tips jar. "In that case, here's a tip!"

"Ooh, definitely my favorite customer!"

"Ten dollars is quite a big tip for just two glasses of wine," Priya raised a brow questioningly. "Let's go sit down over there, Leonard." She took his hand in hers before he could answer, and led him over to a small table at the other end of the bar area.

The girls kept to general conversation, Amy and Bernadette both noticing how Penny would get easily distracted and keep flitting her eyes over to Leonard and Priya, her entire body slouching whenever she saw them so much as laugh. Leonard brought over their empty glasses before saying a quick goodbye and leaving with Priya, Penny staring after them as she put the glasses in the dish tray. She watched as the door closed, wishing the door would just hit Priya and fling her all the way back to India.

"So..." Bernadette nudged Amy, and they both turned to look at Penny. "Is it weird seeing Leonard and Priya together, going on a date?"

They had agreed to try make it subtle, but put the words together in a way which might get Penny's feelings more towards the surface.

"Umm..." Penny frowned. "Yeah, kinda, I suppose. But they've been going out for a while now, so I think I'm getting used to it now."

"You _think _you are?" Amy raised a brow.

"Well, you know, it's still not easy to see them together all the time. She's a lawyer, she's smart, and unfortunately, she's pretty - it actually sucks to be able to see that she's much better for Leonard than I was. But obviously Leonard is happy, so I'm happy for him."

"You don't look it." Bernadette pointed out, taking a large sip from her glass of wine as if trying to hide herself.

Penny stared blankly at Bernadette for a moment, and then at Amy, before sighing. "I said I'm happy for _him_. I didn't say _I'm _happy about it."

Slightly startled by Penny's honesty, Amy put her wine glass down, gulping down the sip she had just taken. "Is it because he's moved on and you haven't?"

Bernadette was about to nudge Amy for being so blunt, but when she saw Penny look down and bite her lip, she decided against it, realizing that perhaps this would prompt more of a response from Penny.

"Yeah, I guess... I just didn't expect him to move on so fast, you know? He was the one who said 'I love you' - I just thought he'd be the one in this situation, not me."

Amy wanted to point out that Leonard hadn't moved on 'fast' - they had broken up a long time ago - but she thought pointing out to Penny how long she had been stuck in this phase would only scare her away. "Well, that makes sense. Typically, men move on from relationships quicker, whereas women tend to hang on to their feelings." She reached out a hand to cover Penny's. "It's okay bestie, hang in there."

Suddenly, Penny snatched her hand away, instantly closing herself off. "I am not hanging onto my feelings! Just because I'm not over Leonard, it doesn't mean I have feelings for him!"

"Actually-"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Penny grabbed a jay cloth and began to wipe the bar with a scowl on her face, scrubbing furiously.

"Penny-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Penny threw the cloth down onto the bar. "There is nothing to talk about, okay? Just drink your wine. It's time for my break anyway."

Penny stormed out, asking one of the waitresses to tend the bar while she took her break, and disappeared into the staff area.

Amy and Bernadette gave each other nervous looks as a brunette came to stand behind the bar.

"Did I push too much?" Amy asked.

"No," Bernadette shook her head. "I don't think you did. She's just being stubborn about her feelings. You know how Penny is. Remember, she did this when we had that sleepover at her apartment?"

"Oh yeah..." Amy nodded slowly. "At least she can admit she's not over him. That's something, right?"

"Definitely. Though it is kinda obvious, you see the way she looks at him?"

"Oh, yes," Amy picked up her glass again and took a sip. "What I wouldn't do to attach electrodes to her brain and an ECG monitor to her heart to see how things change when she's around him."

"That would certainly be a brilliant experiment," Bernadette grinned. "But I really don't think she'd agree to that."

"She let me attach electrodes to her brain when she was crying over Leonard." Amy reminded Bernadette.

"But that was different..."

The pair continued to talk, trying to decide if they could get anything more out of Penny or if they should leave it for now. It was difficult to get anything from her, and they decided that perhaps for now, it was best to leave Penny to her own devices until she was ready to talk. After all, as Amy pointed out, she couldn't keep her feelings to herself forever.

Penny returned twenty minutes later, looking much calmer. She thanked her colleague for covering the bar, and checked that there hadn't been any other customers, before going over to lean against the counter where Bernadette and Amy were.

"I'm sorry, guys," Penny said quietly. "It just got a bit much for me, and I'm tired, and PMS is a bitch, I just overreacted. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Bernadette smiled.

"Our mensies must have synched!" Amy gasped, grinning. "Yay!"

"Umm..." Penny giggled at how happy this made Amy; she always found it cute how excited she got over these things, and it warmed her heart that she was a part of her life that made her happy and that she was considered her bestie. "Yay... I guess? Would you like some more wine?"

"Yes please," Bernadette finished what was left in her glass, and handed it to Penny. Amy did the same, and Penny took two new glasses and filled them up.

For the rest of the evening, all three avoided the subject of Leonard, much to Penny's relief - despite the fact that her mind was constantly thinking of him. As she closed the bar two hours later, Penny found herself thinking of him even more, now that the girls had left to go home.

There seemed to be a part of her brain that only Leonard could activate. Tugging off her apron, Penny found herself imagining him walking into the bar. All of a sudden, he was the one tugging her apron off before hoisting her onto the bar and kissing her with urgency and passion, as her legs came around his waist and his hands fumbled to undo her shirt buttons. He threw it off as she moaned into him, arching her back at his touch. He lay her down on the bar, grabbing the tequila bottle and the saltshaker. Torturously slowly, he shook a line of salt from the hem of her skirt, over her belly button, all the way up to the crevice of her throat. Penny gasped with pleasure as his tongue gently made its way up the line of salt, emitting a loud moan as it reached her throat, before moving to her neck.

Chest heaving and throat dry, Penny suddenly came back to reality as she heard a bottle smash. Blinking wildly, she looked around as she realized that her imagination had taken over reality, and Leonard was nowhere to be seen. She blushed slightly as she saw that her hands had begun to unbutton her shirt, her apron on the floor, along with the now smashed saltshaker. She cleared her throat and poured herself a glass of tap water, drinking quickly, before bending down to pick up the dustpan and brush. Despite herself, she smirked as she began to sweep up the salt and broken glass.

"How does he do it?" She muttered, still smirking, as she tried to right her breathing. "Hmm..." She stood and emptied the salt and glass into the bin and set the pan and brush back down, picking up her apron. "Do or do not... there is _no _try."


	25. Chapter 25

Leonard sighed as he heard a knock at the door. He was exhausted from his gym session earlier that day; on his own, going to the gym was very boring and there was no challenge, and he found himself stuck in a repetitive routine. "Come in," he called, not bothering to get up and open the door since it was unlocked.

"Hey, Leonard," Penny's voice came through the door as she opened it slightly, looking in. "Can I come in?"

He knew she was just checking to see that Priya wasn't in, so he nodded. "Sure."

Penny walked in and closed the door behind her, chewing on her lip. She held out the plastic bag in her hand as she walked over to the couch. "Umm, here's your t-shirt back. I washed it, so there's no sick on it or anything."

"Oh, thanks," Leonard took the bag from her, looking inside it before standing up. Part of him wanted her to keep it; he liked the thought of her in his t-shirt, and the idea that she would still have something of his. He knew he was just being stupid, but it hurt a little that she was so ready to give him his things back. "I'll go get you your dress."

Penny sat down on the couch where Leonard had been sitting, enjoying the warmth he had left behind. She watched the commercials running on mute until he came back a few minutes later, holding her dress in his hands.

"Sorry, I didn't get a chance to wash it." He apologized, handing it to her and sitting next to her.

"That's okay," Penny shrugged. Somehow, giving Leonard his t-shirt and him giving her back her dress made her feel upset and dejected. It was like breaking up all over again; giving your ex their things back so you had nothing left of them. Only she knew that if she kept it, she would wear it, and it wouldn't help her in the slightest with trying to get over him; she didn't need to add to her addiction. Wearing it alone would only make her long for him even more, and she knew it. Penny looked around for a while, before her eyes fell on his gym bag. "Oh, yeah, sorry I didn't go to the gym today. I was going to text you."

"That's okay, it's not like a rule or something that we have to go together. It was a bit boring though, by myself. Why didn't you go today? Have you hurt yourself again?" Immediately he felt concern fill his body, aside from her birthday that was the only thing he could remember as a reason for her not going to the gym.

"No, no," Penny shook her head shyly, finding it sweet that he was so concerned about her. "I just have my period, I didn't feel like going."

She decided to miss out how incredibly, ridiculously, insanely happy she had been to wake up and realize she had her period. Her body didn't run like clockwork, so usually she wasn't bothered if she was a few days late. But being single, she hadn't been taking her pill everyday like she should, and she and Leonard hadn't always bothered with protection since it was always so unexpected and spontaneous. Naturally, she had begun to worry slightly that she hadn't received Mother Nature's gift yet, but could still feel the cramps and the slight nausea. She had never been so happy in her life to have it; she had practically danced out of the bathroom in celebration, cartwheeling across her front room.

But that was hardly a story she could tell Leonard, or an event she wished to repeat.

"Oh, fair enough." While they were dating, Leonard had gotten used to Penny talking - mainly moaning - about PMS and all sorts of girl problems. It had also taught him what he could say or do, and what to avoid. "Do you have enough candy?"

"I ate most of it," Penny frowned. "I have like, two chocolate bars left in case I need some before I get to the store. I just can't be bothered to go, and I already scavenged all the candy you gave me for my birthday. But I need to go to the store anyway, I ran out of painkillers and ice cream."

"Ah, don't want your survival supplies to run out." Leonard chuckled. "I guess my sore leg muscles and aching back are irrelevant compared to your cramps."

"Oh, did you over-exercise?" Penny pouted sympathetically. "Poor Leonard. If your back hurts, my dad taught me a really good little massage to help. Wanna give it a try?"

He sighed; he wasn't sure if Penny giving him a massage was a good idea at all. But his back hurt, and he knew Priya wouldn't give him a massage, and it just sounded so good. "Ok, sure."

Jumping off the couch, Penny grinned. "Okay. Lie down on your stomach and lift up your top."

Leonard shrugged off his hoodie and did as instructed. He used his hand to indicate to the lower part of his back. "This part hurts the most," He mumbled into the pillow.

Penny rolled up the sleeves of her sweater, trying to figure out whether she should stay standing or straddle him, which would be easier, but less appropriate. She leant forwards and began to work at his lower back, but it was uncomfortable and it was the wrong angle, so she cleared her throat. "I'm gonna have to... have to sit on you. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Leonard replied nervously.

Biting her lip, Penny gently climbed on him and sat carefully. She smiled gently to herself as she wondered if the marks she had left on his ass had gone away yet. Taking a deep breath, she set her hands to work on Leonard's lower back, remembering everything her dad had told her. She remembered he had taught her so she could massage his back when it hurt after work; he would then treat her to some ice cream as a reward. As she got older she did it less often, but she always remembered it because it was always very relieving. She found that thinking of her dad kept her mind focused on just massaging Leonard's back, stopping her thoughts from straying.

"Is it working?" She asked after a while.

"Ugh, Penny, it feels so good."

Penny felt her breath hitch and her heart rate speed up instantly. Asking him and getting him to speak had been a bad idea; the way he had moaned slowly and said her name turned her on like a light switch. She began to slow her hands, which had begun to tremble slightly, as she tried to regulate her breathing, knowing she was too close to losing control. She fought every urge to grind her hips into him, looking around the room desperately trying to find a source of distraction, something to turn her back off. But she found nothing; even the Cylon Toaster seemed sexy right now. So she settled on going back to her earlier distraction; her dad. "Good." Her voice came out low and dry. She cleared her throat, blinking quickly. "My dad said it always helps."

"Mm." Leonard was grateful the massage, and also for the distracting thought of Penny's dad to keep his mind off the fact that it was Penny on top of him. He thought he could feel her tense slightly, but he figured that may well just be his imagination. He kept his mind on the distraction as he let Penny relieve his back of the uncomfortable pain that had been lingering.

They successfully made it through the massage with no further slips, and Penny grinned as she got off him. "There, done! You can sit up now." She waited until he had sat up and stretched, pulling his top down. She allowed herself to glance at his almost bare chest for a second and his abs, which were more defined than she remembered. "How does it feel?"

Leonard rolled his shoulders back and grinned. "Amazing. Thanks, Penny. That massage was better than painkillers."

"No problem. Think of it as repayment for all those back and stomach massages, which also were better than painkillers."

Leonard opened his mouth to offer her a massage in return; he knew she loved them and that they relaxed her. But he decided against it, things were different now. If he didn't have a girlfriend, he'd probably have offered Penny a massage, but he _did _have a girlfriend. And he hadn't exactly been the most faithful, honest boyfriend; he knew that. _Control yourself, Leonard,_ he told himself, _you can't just keep giving in._

However, he remembered that there was something that he _could_ do. He walked to the kitchen and opened a cupboard, standing on his tiptoes, he reached for the top shelf. Penny giggled as he jumped slightly to grab whatever he was trying to get. He finally got a hold of it, and pulled it down, grinning when he closed the cupboard and turned around.

"I saved a bag of candy after Halloween." Leonard held out the bag as he walked over to Penny. "Eat your heart out."

"Oh my God!" Penny jumped up and down excitedly as she took the bag, hugging it to her. "You're the best!" As tears formed in her eyes, Penny shook her head. "Sorry. Hormones."

"Aw, that's okay." Leonard encircled her in his arms, being careful not to crush the candy she was still holding. He rubbed a few small circles on her lower back, where he remembered comforted her the most. There was a small _ping, _and he stepped back as the cooker alarm began to alert him that his lunch was ready.

"Watcha make?" Penny followed him over to the kitchen, opening the bag of candy and tearing open the first little chocolate bar she got her hands on.

"French fries," Leonard said, putting on an oven glove and pulling out the tray. "And chipolatas."

"Mm, looks good." Penny replied through a mouthful of chocolate. She watched as he put his food onto a plate, her mind racing with sausage innuendos. Just as she thought of a really good one, Leonard picked up the saltshaker from the counter and began to season his fries with a light layer of salt. She found herself biting her lip, chocolate bar hanging in her hand, as her imaginary salty-but-sexy bar scenario came back to the front of her mind. _What I wouldn't give to be one of those french fries... so damn cozy with those sausages..._

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Leonard raised a brow.

Penny blinked rapidly. "Just, umm, remembering something."

"O-kay..." Leonard shrugged as he put down the saltshaker.

_Pick that damn thing back up! _Penny frowned as he put it down, blushing slightly that a saltshaker, of all things, was turning her on. "I don't think your fries have enough salt."

"I actually put quite a lot on," Leonard said, confused. He picked the saltshaker back up and held it out to Penny. "This shaker allows for a quicker flow of a larger quantity of salt granules, because it has larges holes. See?"

"Yup," Penny stood up quickly, grabbing her candy bag. She shoved what was left of her chocolate bar in her mouth and jumped out of her seat, rushing over to the door. "I have to go."

Without further explanation, she was out the door, and Leonard was left to ponder what the _hell _was going on as he started eating his apparently under-salted fries and sausages.

* * *

**A/N - This chapter is a little longer but I don't think you guys mind because you all liked the saltshaker. So I thought I'd put that in this chapter! To the Guest reviewer asking about getting something from Leonard - you will, some things just have to happen before I get to that point where we explore Leonard a bit more. Which shouldn't be too long away, I just keep getting ideas to go before it! So yeah, I'll get to him soon :) Hope you all enjoyed, don't forget to me a review, you know I love hearing from you lovely lot! :) **


	26. Chapter 26

Penny slammed her hand on the door of 4A repeatedly, yelling Leonard's name, shopping bags around her feet, until he opened the door.

"Penny?" He raised a brow as he took in all the shopping bags and her slightly gazed over eyes as the distinct smell of alcohol hit him. "What the hell?"

"I went shopping!" She grinned.

"I can see that..."

He almost wanted to laugh; while she had on a regular pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, she had accessorized with things she had evidently bought on her shopping trip. In her hair was a lazily clipped in pink bow, which looked like it was meant for a child. She wore black frames around her eyes, with a tiny little bow on the right hand corner, with _Hello Kitty _written across the arms. On her handbag he spotted a set of Hello Kitty badges, and he quickly thought she'd regret that when she realized she'd got holes in her expensive handbag. At her feet were several Victoria's Secret shopping bags, as well as large bags from various other stores he could vaguely remember going with her to.

"What do you think?" She asked, putting one hand on her hip, and bringing the other up to hold the arm of her glasses. She looked over the frames at him, pouting.

"Umm," Leonard honestly didn't know what to say. Maybe, if she wasn't drunk and he didn't feel sorry for her drunken state, she would look pretty hot... no, she still did look pretty hot, it was those stupid Hello Kitty glasses. _Why did she have to buy the glasses? _"You look... why are you drunk at..." He checked his watch. "7pm?"

"Well," Penny leant herself against the doorframe. "I had a _very _naughty dream, which involved you." She pointed at him and giggled. "So when I woke up I had to have sex with myself, which isn't as great as with you, by the way." She gave him an accusing look. "And then I was sad, so I had some wine and I went shopping." She giggled again, aimlessly gesturing to her shopping bags.

Leonard really wasn't sure what to say, or if his mind was even thinking anymore. He just stared at her, not even blinking, as she continued to giggle.

"What's happening?" Priya appeared next to Leonard, a basket of laundry tucked under her arm.

"Whattup Priya," Penny gave her a nod.

"I- umm... she-" Leonard stuttered. "I... Penny... Penny is drunk."

"At seven in the evening? Isn't that a little early?"

"I'm _allowed _to drink whenever I want. I'm a grown-up. And I'm sad. I'm a grown-up and I drink when I'm sad." Penny pointed out.

"Okay... _why _are you drunk at seven in the evening?"

"Bec-a-ause," Penny rolled her eyes. "I-"

"Of the reasons she just told you!" Leonard butted in, praying Penny wouldn't repeat her story to Priya. "And she really should go back to her apartment and go to sleep."

"Bo-ring!" Penny moaned. "Come on, guys, lets go out on the town, lets paint the town red, lets-"

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Penny." Leonard said, his brain now running on adrenaline. "You need to go to sleep." Suddenly he realized offering his help wouldn't be the best idea in the world, considering Priya was right there and Penny's little story. "Umm... you have your key, right? You'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I have my key." Penny sighed, swaying on the spot as she stood up properly and started fishing around her bag for her key. She dug it out, her tongue poking out of her mouth in concentration. "Got it!" She grinned, bending down to pick up her bags. She managed to make it to her own apartment door, before walking straight into it. "Ow! What the hell!"

"I think I should help her," Priya said quietly to Leonard, putting down the laundry basket.

"Really?" Leonard was slightly taken aback by this. "Umm, okay, sure."

He watched with confusion as Priya walked over to open Penny's door, and went inside with her. Walking back into his own apartment, he slumped down on the couch, praying that Penny wouldn't tell Priya anything and that Priya wouldn't be too harsh on Penny - he knew she didn't approve of the frequency of Penny's drunken visits.

Across the hall, Priya managed to get Penny into her bedroom. Penny dropped her bags to the floor, yanked off her handbag and jacket, throwing them into the corner of the room. Priya stood awkwardly at the door, not quite sure what she was supposed to do now. Thankfully, Penny went into the bathroom, stating happily that she was going to get changed into her pajamas. Priya breathed a sigh of relief, and was about to go back to 4A when she heard heaving followed by the sound of Penny throwing up. She made her way cautiously to the kitchen; having never been in her apartment, and not being on the best of terms with Penny, she felt awkward. She headed to the fridge, taking out a bottle of water, taking a moment to look around the apartment. It was definitely smaller than 4A, it was messier, but it looked homey and comforting, she decided.

Priya returned to Penny's bedroom with the bottle of water, which Penny eagerly took as she stepped out of the bathroom in her pajamas, the top back-to-front. She gulped down half of it before getting into bed.

"Will you be okay by yourself now?" Priya asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Penny burped. "Yeah."

"Okay. Good." Priya shifted her weight between her feet. "Bye, then."

Just as she began to turn around to leave, Penny sat up. "Priya?"

"Yes?" She turned back around.

"Please be nice to Leonard. He's just trying to look out for me. He's a great guy." Penny hiccoughed, flopping back against the headboard. "I know you hate me for what I did, and I'm sorry - no, I'm not sorry, it was really, _really _good -" Penny giggled to herself, biting her lip, her jumbled mind still able to remember Priya only knew about the first time she'd slept with Leonard behind her back. "But I'm sorry you're at the receiving end of all this crap. Like, sometimes I just wanna fling my poop at you, but it's just because I care about him and you are _way _better than me. You went to college and you actually have a proper job! And me, I'm still working at the stupid Cheesecake Factory, drinking cheap wine. Anyway... wait, what was I saying?"

Priya hated it, but she actually felt sympathy for Penny. She knew exactly what it was like to have your heart broken, and how it felt to still care about the person you chose to break up with. It was difficult, and it was scary at the same time. She had come to LA, she was away from all that now - it was much easier this way. Maybe it she returned to India, it would be more painful to still be around her ex. But Penny was still right there, seeing Leonard every day, with a new girlfriend. And as much as she hated Penny for what she had done, she almost understood why she had done it. Perhaps if she was still in India she would do the same thing. She wished she didn't think these things, and perhaps she wouldn't if she wasn't here, watching Penny drunkenly tell her these things. Though she had no idea what the whole poop flinging thing was about, she wasn't sure if she found it funny or offensive.

"Of course I will be nice to Leonard." Priya said nervously, still unsure of what to do in this situation.

"Good." Penny gave a half-hearted nod before yawning. She slid down under her comforter, shutting her eyes and curling into a ball.

Priya waited to see if Penny would say anything else, but when she didn't she decided to take that as her cue to leave.

"Priya?" Penny's voice came out muffled.

"Yes, Penny?"

"Your pant suits are _really _stupid. I don't appreciate them."

"Umm..."

"You can go now."

With a frown and a brow raised in confusion, Priya finally turned around and left Penny's apartment.

* * *

Penny's jaw dropped slightly and her body froze as she opened her apartment door, only to see Leonard standing his own door. She wanted to run back into her own apartment and slam the door, but her body refused to move. She could feel her face burning red, her eyes widening and her heart racing.

"Oh, hey," Leonard gave a small, embarrassed smile.

"I..." Penny managed to get out. She knew she'd have to talk to him at some point; he was bound to remember what she had told him. If she had only been drunk enough to not remember what she had said, or not so drunk so that she could filter what she said, then it would have been much easier. But she remembered telling him about her dream, and having sex with herself, and _him _being included in the story, and _him _was right there, right now. "Uh, I am _really _sorry."

"Umm, it's okay."

"I just... oh God this is _so _embarrassing!" Penny took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I..."

"It's fine. It's kind of a compliment, actually, that I'm better than... you know..."

"Oh _God," _Penny shook her head. "Can we just... forget what happened? I know, it happened, and you can keep the compliment, but can we just... I already have all this shopping to return, and... let's just pretend I didn't say anything about _that_, okay?"

"Sure." Leonard nodded. At least he could keep the compliment. "Hey, you say you're returning shopping - are you returning those Hello Kitty glasses?"

Penny blinked, as a smile crept onto her face. "I suppose I could keep those." She bit her lip, her mood completely changed, as she looked at him properly. Maybe she was imagining it but she thought she saw a flicker in his eyes - and even if it was just her imagination and what she _wanted _to see, that was enough to make her keep the glasses.

* * *

**A/N - So .Molly and zhalen565 mentioned badges and glasses a few weeks back, so that was the idea behind this chapter. Some of you may not like what I've done with Priya here, but she and Penny seem to be ok with each other in the end in the show, as ok as they can be, so it kind of made sense to do this. Let me know what you think! Glad you guys like the long chapters! I will try get the next part up by Monday, I actually have a day off tomorrow (thank you work shift Gods)! Happy weekend, don't get as drunk as Penny, and if you do, don't buy children's hair bows :) **


	27. Chapter 27

"So-o," Bernadette grinned as she sat down at the bar, putting her purse on the counter. "A little birdie tells us you had a naughty dream about Leonard."

"That little birdie was me." Amy said proudly, resting her hands on the counter.

"What - umm, first of all, _hi_. Second of all... how the hell did you hear about that?"

"So you _did _have a naughty dream about Leonard!" Bernadette gasped.

"Oh come on Bernadette, Sheldon has Vulcan hearing and an eidetic memory. I told you we're not trying to spread gossip, he overheard Leonard and Penny's conversation and repeated it to me." Amy shook her head at the small blonde, before turning back to Penny. "I believe that answers your question."

Penny stayed quiet as she got two wine glasses and opened a new bottle of wine for the girls. As she poured slowly, she reminded herself to try and keep her cool about the whole 'naughty dream' subject; overreacting would only spur the girls on, she'd been around them long enough to know this. She passed them their glasses and put the wine in one of the fridges to keep it cool, before leaning her arms on the counter.

"Okay, yes, I had a _dream _about Leonard, that just _happened _to be... a little, kinda, very dirty. But so what, everyone has those kind of dreams."

"Did you use a device similar to Gerard once your dream was over, or was it your own handiwork?" Amy asked matter-of-factly.

"_Amy_!"

"I'm curious." Amy shrugged and took a sip of her wine. "If you don't want to talk about that, there's the matter of the morning after your birthday." She paused as Penny looked at her inquisitively. "Sheldon states he saw you leaving the bathroom, looking upset, wearing Leonard's t-shirt. He says you had simply come over to ask Leonard if you knew where your bag was, and then threw up, so Leonard gave you his t-shirt because you got sick on your dress."

"If you know what happened, why are you asking about it?" Penny pushed herself away from the bar, picking up the cloth and wiping the bar to distract herself from her nerves.

"It seems a bit odd that you would wake up that early and head straight over to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment just to ask where your bag was."

"Yeah." Bernadette nodded, peering at Penny over her wine glass.

"I woke up to be sick, I must have passed out still in my dress when Howard brought me home. I wanted my phone but since I didn't have that, or my bag, I thought I'd check next door." Penny lied, giving a small shrug, but not meeting their eyes.

"Howie said he dropped you off at Leonard's apartment." Bernadette raised her brows.

"Yeah." Amy gave a sharp nod.

"Well if my bag was in the car, and it had my key, how else was I meant to get into my apartment?" She sighed as Amy and Bernadette gave her a questioning look. "The guys have a spare key to my apartment. Leonard took be back to my apartment."

"Oh..." Bernadette frowned. "Yeah, Howie did say that actually. Sorry."

"That's fine." Penny threw the cloth into the sink, slightly worried about how easy it was to come up with lies. "Just stop grilling me about Leonard on my Wednesday evening shift, or I'll start making you pay for your wine."

"Forgive us, bestie, we were only curious."

* * *

Fighting to get her key into the lock with a large grocery bag under her arm, and a hot dog in her other hand, Penny mumbled angrily. Leonard, just exiting his apartment, stood for a second and watch the scene with an amused look on his face.

"Trouble with your key?" He said eventually.

"Can't get the stupid thing in the lock," Penny groaned, as she continued to try maneuver her hand into a position that would get the key into the lock. After a while, she snapped her head to look at him. "Are you just going to stand there?"

"Sorry," Leonard held up his hands as he walked over to her door. He carefully took the grocery bag from under her arm, groaning slightly as he realized just how heavy it was. "What the hell did you buy?"

"Groceries," Penny replied. "Aha!" She grinned as she unlocked her door and swung it open, pulling the key out.

Leonard staggered over to the kitchen slowly, before dumping the bag on the counter. "Seriously, what the hell did you buy?" He shook his arms.

"It's not _that _heavy," Penny scoffed. "And I told you, groceries."

"Yeah, but since when are they so heavy?"

"They had a deal on wine." Penny shrugged, before sitting down on the sofa and putting her feet up. She took a bite from the hot dog in her hand, closing her eyes and then opening them again quickly. "Oh my God," She paused as she swallowed the bite. "This is _so _good."

"That's one big hot dog," Leonard came to sit down next to her on the couch as she took another bite. "Hey, is that from the new place next to the grocery store?"

"Mm," Penny nodded, taking another large bite. "So good." She turned to Leonard once she had finished her bite. "Want to try some?" She held it out to him. "It's so good. The sausage is pretty big but it's the best part. Oh, and that's my lipstick mark, not like, pink bread mould or something."

He simply stared at the hot dog; his mind had, without permission, been stuck on the image of Penny shoving the hot dog in her mouth. It was as though Howard's stupid, filthy jokes had suddenly taken over his brain, but he didn't even care. The lipstick mark and the big sausage, even his supposedly innocent mind couldn't run without multiple innuendos. Suddenly he grinned, looking up at her. "You know, sometimes in England, they call sausages _bangers_."

"Bangers." Penny raised a brow. "That's weird. Do you want some or n- _oh_!" Her face split into a grin as she started laughing, finally understanding what he had said. "Bangers! _Bangers_!"

Leonard grinned, proud of himself. "I know! But yeah, I'll try some."

Penny handed him the hot dog. "Enjoy the banger."

"No, a banger is just a sausage. A hot dog is... a hot dog. It has buns."

Penny giggled. "Just try some, come on."

Leonard raised the hot dog and looked at it quizzically. "It looks bigger from this angle."

"Oh for God's sake Leonard it's a hot dog. Like you've never eaten one before."

Leonard crammed the hot dog into his mouth, taking a bite. _She's right, this is amazing. _He nodded slowly as he chewed. _I'm going to have to buy one of these next time I go to the grocery store. _As he glanced over at Penny to hand her back the rest of the hot dog, his mind instantly transported from thoughts of the grocery store to remembering that he had just taken a bite of hot dog with her lipstick mark on... her mouth had been around that. He blushed, and gave her a small smile when he had finished. "You're right, that's a really good hot dog."

"Yeah," Penny nodded quickly, taking another bite.

_Oh, here we go again_, Leonard sat back, slumping against the back of the couch. _I'm going to kill Howard for every hot dog joke he's ever said. Ever_. He sat quietly, staring at the ceiling, until Penny finished the hot dog, placing the small box that had been holding it on the coffee table in front of her. She sat back too, a smile on her face.

"Ha. Bangers." She shook her head. "That's a good one. And I thought _wieners _was bad!"

The giggled quietly for a moment, and Leonard turned to look at Penny. He liked being able to make her laugh. He never thought he was that funny. "That's really tickled you, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Penny smirked. "_Bangers_." She turned her head to look at him, gasping slightly when she saw him looking at her; she hadn't expected his face to be so close.

They looked at each other, both smiling slightly in amusement. Their eyes slowly traced each other's faces, finally landing on each others lips. Leonard spotted a smear of ketchup on her lip, and instantly his hand moved to wipe it away for her. "Ketchup." He explained quietly, wishing he'd kissed the ketchup off instead, so he could taste the hot dog again, as well as her lips.

"Oh," Penny breathed, her eyelids fluttering. "Thanks."

His hand came to rest on her cheek, and he gave her a sheepish smile. She smiled back at him, her eyes locked on his. Suddenly her dream came to the forefront of her mind, mingling with her sex-on-the-bar fantasy, and his hand on her cheek felt like much more than just a soft touch. She wanted that hand to pull her in for a long, passionate kiss before laying her down across her kitchen counter and pouring patterns of salt all over her body.

Leonard's mind quickly began whirring. _I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be here. _But he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind, and he couldn't forget about her dream either; he'd been trying to work out whether there was more to it than just a sexual element. _Stop overthinking. It was just a dream, which I just happened to be in. It doesn't mean anything. She's not your girlfriend. Her dreams aren't for you to think about. _But the look she was giving him wiped any and all traces of strength, guilt and resistance out of his mind, out of his body completely.

Leaning in at the exact same time, their lips brushed lightly, barely even touching but still creating all sorts of sparks, before Penny's phone began to ring.

They jumped back as though the sparks had electrocuted them, like some form of punishment for wanting to kiss each other, and Penny grabbed her phone from the coffee table with an annoyed look upon her face.

"_What_?" She grumbled, standing up. "Oh, hi Daddy." Her shoulders slouched. _This is the worst timed call ever. In the history of cell phones. _"Is she? I spoke to her yesterday! She didn't tell me she was going home." _Cockblocked by my own dad. Just to be told this? Why! _"No, I can't, I have to work, dad, I'm sorry." _Oh come on, you could have just text me this. _"I know we haven't all been home together for a long time. Well good for her. If she wanted me to meet him they can come to Pasadena, I'm not going all the way to Nebraska just to meet her new boyfriend." She sighed, sitting back down on the couch. "I don't care if it's serious, she says that about them all! Okay, okay. Okay. Bye, dad."

"So, umm, that your dad?" Leonard asked awkwardly. He had moved to sit on the edge of the couch.

"Yeah. My sister is going home for a visit and he says I should come too, because she wants us all to meet her new boyfriend." She put her phone of the coffee table. "Like I want to go to Nebraska just for that."

"So you're not going to Nebraska?"

Penny shook her head. "No."

"Okay," Leonard smiled, relieved.

"I love home but I just don't have the time or money to take time off to go back. Besides, my dad will just grill me on work and boyfriends and life, I don't need that." _Well, he'll grill me about you, and I'll never hear the end of the 'Leonard' questions._

"Yeah..." Leonard stood up. "Well, I should go." If the moment was over, he knew he needed to leave before anything else could happen. "Thanks for the hot dog."

"You're welcome," Penny grinned. "Thank you for teaching me 'banger'!"

"My pleasure."

As he left and shut the door behind him, Penny raised a brow and smirked. _It sure is._

* * *

**A/N - I hope this long chapter perked up your Monday! I did want to put some better hot dog innuendos in but I thought I'd stop at banger. Let me know what you think, hopefully it came out as funny in writing as it seemed in my head! **


	28. Chapter 28

Penny braced herself as she reached for the handle to open to doors to the gym. She had decided the night before that she really ought to go back - she was pretty certain the calories from all the alcohol she'd been consuming recently were beginning to show. However, she had made a promise to herself - not let herself slip again; no trying to sleep with Leonard, be it in the gym bathroom or on her kitchen counter. As amazing as it was, she really needed to control herself.

This was easier said than done, however, as the second she opened the door and spotted Leonard a few meters away on the bench press as usual, all she wanted to do was take him right there and then. Slowly walking over, she tried to compose herself. She attempted to convince herself that the sweaty look was gross, but it didn't work - she found the whole hot and sweaty look... sexy. _Damnit woman, you have no control over yourself whatsoever. _Penny giggled to herself slightly; if she had self control she wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

"Hey you," Penny smiled, standing at the end of the bench.

"Hey!" Leonard set the weights down, and sat up. A small wave of disappointment washed over him when he saw Penny had worn a tank top instead of her usual crop top.

"Ooh, you've gone up!" Penny grinned, before blinking quickly. "In weights, I mean."

"Oh... oh, yeah, yeah I have." Leonard said proudly. "I even have some _proper _arm muscles now - look!" He shuffled forward on the bench and flexed his right arm.

"Hmm," Penny pretended to look doubtful, giving herself an excuse to touch that muscle. She reached out her hand slowly and gave it a small poke. _Oh dear God... _she felt her breath catch as her mind came up with thousands of things those arms could do to her. "That's... you really are the King of Nerds."

"I am, aren't I," Leonard grinned goofily at her, putting his arm back down. "I'm done here now, you wanna head over to the ellipticals? I'm getting better on them now, I don't need my inhaler as much."

_No, no, no! I want to watch you do more bench presses! _Penny sighed; she knew she should have gotten up earlier today to get to the gym. Still, she found it adorable how impressed he was with his progress. "Well that's good, lets do that then." She said, when she couldn't think of a reason to get him back to doing bench presses.

He was right, Penny realized; as they worked their circuit around the various gym machines, she realized he was using his inhaler less and looked more at ease with everything. It was the treadmill that got to him the most, but still, it was certainly a big improvement since the last time she had been here with him. As well as this, she noticed his leg muscles were more defined, and almost toppled off the treadmill when she found herself staring at his legs for a second too long.

Leonard could never work out why Penny kept looking at him. He thought perhaps she was as amazed as he was that he actually had muscles, real muscles. _I really am the muscle of the group. And not just by default. _He liked it when Penny was at the gym with him; part of him just wanted to show off for her, but another part of him knew she just brought out the best in him.

Once more, the undeniable tension arose as they dared and challenged each other, trying to show off. For the first time in weeks Leonard's time at the gym was interesting again, and by the end of it, the pair of them were drenched in sweat, gulping down water, pleased with how much they had gotten done.

Penny stuck to her resolve as they began to leave for the changing rooms, though it was difficult - she tried to pick out guys she would usually have found attractive, but her mind kept floating back to the man next to her. She tried to remind herself that last time, they hadn't had sex, that she was disappointed last time, and that she was just building herself up to the same disappointment. It did nothing to help her mind from wandering, though, and she wondered if Leonard was thinking the same as she was. _Probably not. If he returns with no sex he's going to get sex anyway. You're the single one, Penny. A gym full of guys and... nothing. _She smiled at Leonard as he opened the door for her. _Okay. Just go and get changed. The changing room is just at the end of the hall. Keep walking, take a shower, get changed, and go home. Simple. Easy._

But it wasn't easy; whilst thinking, she had slowed her pace slightly and was a few steps behind Leonard, who was coming up to the bathroom door. She began to wiggle her fingers anxiously as she walked, biting on her lip.

"Leonard!" She said quickly, not quite sure why she had said his name, stopping in her tracks.

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her.

"Umm..." Her eyes darted from his face to the bathroom door and back again, as her mind raced with an excuse as to why she had even said his name. "Do you want to get a green juice afterwards?" _So lame. I need help. This is worse than asking someone on a date. Oh, my God, what if he thinks I'm asking him on like... a green juice date? Do those exist? Okay, just green juice as friends. Friends do that._

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

Leonard gave a small nod and a smile, but neither of them moved. Rooted to the spot, they just stared at each other as a group of tall, muscly men walked past, eyeing up Penny. Her attention didn't even waiver for a second; her eyes stayed locked on Leonard's up until they had gone into the changing room, and stayed there.

At a loss of what he was supposed to do, Leonard cleared his throat, but said nothing. He observed Penny's face, trying to read her expression. It looked like shock, mixed with... lust... desire? Was he making that up? He couldn't tell if he just _wanted _to see those expressions written on her face, or if they were actually right there in front of him. Finally, he found his voice. "Penny?"

Hearing him say her voice, just that one little thing, undid every single bit of control she had put in force. Flinging herself towards Leonard and planting her lips firmly on his, she only realized what she was doing, once she had done it. And the way his hands instantly flew to her waist meant it was too late for her to stop herself.

* * *

Penny looked up at Leonard from her green juice. They hadn't spoken since they'd left the gym bathroom, both sharing sheepish smiles as they walked from the changing rooms to the lobby and into the cafe.

Leonard loved how she hadn't brushed her hair, she'd simply tied her tousled locks up into a messy bun and left it as it was. It was cute. Priya never done that, she always brushed it after sex. But then again, Priya did many things differently - like put her pajamas back on after sex. Penny had never bothered with that. He took a moment to think about how much he disliked Priya's pajamas - they were silky, and it reminded him of Howard's pajamas, which disturbed him. He never understood how someone could sleep in something to slippery anyway. His attention turned back to the original subject, Penny, as she looked at him. He wondered if she was going to say anything.

_He _wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. _Thank you for the sex? _A little smile spread across his face, but he decided against that. He was pretty certain you didn't thank your ex for that. _Why did you... why do you keep sleeping with me? _But that wasn't really the question that needed answering - as much as he wanted an answer from Penny, he knew the real question was why _he _kept sleeping with her. He was the one with a girlfriend. He was the one who had no control of himself. _Maybe Sheldon was right... maybe I think with my penis. _He furrowed his brow. _That would be really weird... how did Sheldon even come up with that, what does he know? _He shook his head slightly. He kept doing this; meandering from his original problem.

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?" He was shaken from his thoughts by Penny's voice quietly calling his name.

"Do you hate me? For... you know..." She sighed, turning her drink around in her hands. "I didn't _intend_... not that it wasn't good - I mean - I wasn't..." Penny paused again, getting frustrated with herself. "I don't know _why_..."

"Penny," Leonard put his drink down. "It's okay. I don't hate you."

"Okay. Okay, good." She gave him a small, nervous smile. "I should start heading home."

"Yeah," Leonard nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Leaving words unspoken between them, they quickly finished their drinks and stood up and began in the direction of the car park.

"So, are you doing anything else today?" Penny asked in attempt to bring conversation back to normal.

"I'm going to watch this documentary - Wonders of the Universe." Leonard grinned. "Raj said it was really good, he put it on a USB for me."

"Ah, sounds interesting." Penny chuckled. She always forgot how cute it was when his face lit up talking about science.

"You wanna come over and watch it?" Leonard offered. "It sounds pretty cool, I think you'd like it. It's presented by Brian Cox - he's British."

"As much as I love getting my geek on, and British accents," Penny giggled at this. "I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate me being over at your apartment watching TV with you."

_The girlfriend card kinda hurts, _Leonard thought, frowning. "Well we've already crossed _that _line."

"Yeah, but that was wrong, and she doesn't know about that." Penny unlocked her car door and got in. She didn't know why she was turning down spending time with Leonard; he was right, after all, that the line had already been crossed. But something was telling her to back away from that line. "I have to get some groceries anyway." She shut the door and wound her window down. "Enjoy your documentary!" She flashed him a grin before driving out of her parking space towards the exit.

Leonard just stood there. _Okay, that hurt even more_. He knew she had a point - the line they had crossed was wrong, very wrong. _Is that why she thinks I hate her? _Shaking his head, Leonard slowly made his way towards his own car. He knew this was for the best, and for the first time he felt a real surge of guilt run through him. It was Penny who had said no, who had thought of Priya, _his _girlfriend, and reminded him of the boundaries. He was the one who was supposed to be saying no, he had a girlfriend, he had to step back from Penny. He wanted to kick himself. How had he only _just _realized that feeling of guilt? Had he even felt it until now? He sighed as he got into his car, deciding to focus on the documentary he was going home to watch, by himself.

* * *

**A/N - I wrote this entire chapter this morning on the back of old receipts in my purse whilst having a cup (or two) of coffee before getting my ECG monitor fitted, so it's kinda a jumble of fun and the beginning of looking into Leonard - but I'll come back to him properly in a few chapters. I'm actually kind of nervous about writing Leonard because a) I'm not a guy and b) I want it to come across in the right way, which is difficult! Leonard should be coming across as confused, but things are slowly starting to happen and click in his mind. He's never been the guy girls go after (...he obviously hasn't met the BBT fandom) so in my mind, he was being an ass and enjoying that. I can't decide if I want to put in a fun chapter next or skip to the more 'serious' plans... so let me know :) Okay oh and to the guest reviewer who asked if I considered doing M-rated one shots to fill the gaps... you guys are so naughty ha ha but I have considered it, maybe one day! I think that's it... okay, I hope you enjoyed :) **


	29. Chapter 29

Upon hearing three knocks on her door, followed by her name, and repeated again, and again, Penny padded over to her front door.

"Yeah," Penny mumbled through her hands, which were covering her nose and mouth.

"Oh dear lord," Sheldon's eyes widened as his skin paled at the sight of blood trickling between her fingers. As he began to break into a cold sweat, and a drop of blood fell from Penny's hand to the floor, he screamed and ran back into 4A, slamming the door shut behind him.

Penny rolled her eyes and wadded back into the bathroom, uncovering her face as she leant over her sink. She let the blood drip from her nose and glanced up slightly to inspect it. She could already see a slight bruise forming, where she could feel it throbbing. _Damn_.

"Umm... hello?"

She didn't need to look to recognize Leonard's voice, keeping her head over the sink. "Hey... what are you doing here? Ugh." She frowned and spluttered as the blood from her nose dripped over her lips.

"Well, Sheldon ran into the apartment screaming that you're bleeding, so now he's sat in his spot while Amy consoles him about his evidently traumatic experience."

"It's just a nose bleed, I'm sure he's seen worse on all those video games he plays." She ran the cold tap and used her hand to wash away the splatters around her sink.

"Yeah... but that's virtual." Leonard shrugged. "Anyway, I thought I'd come over and check in what was wrong... the way Sheldon was describing it made it sound like... well, he made it seem a lot worse than this."

"You should be used to Sheldon doing that," she almost giggled. "Can you pass me some toilet roll?"

"Toilet roll isn't really going to help much. It's too thin, it'll just soak through and you'll have bits of toilet roll stuck to your nose. Trust me, I've had enough nose bleeds to know."

"Okay, Mr. Nose-bleed-expert, what am I supposed to do? Just let it all drip into the sink until I need a blood transfusion?"

"No, okay, hold on." He opened the cabinet he knew contained her flannels and grabbed one, passing it to her. "Tilt your head up and cover your nose with this."

"I'm going to ruin the flannel!" She moaned, but did what he said anyway, tilting her head up to the ceiling. "Now what?"

"You need to lie down. Here." Leonard took Penny's hand, and guided her out through the bedroom and to the couch, where she sat down, tilting her head back.

"Like this?" Penny asked. "It's not comfortable."

Leonard shook his head. "No. Lie down and let me take care of you."

As she lay herself down, Penny grinned into the flannel. "You say that to a girl in bed and you're golden." Her eyes gave away the mischievous look on her face hidden by the flannel.

"What?" Leonard stopped as he reached for a cushion, slightly taken aback.

"Sorry. Sometimes I can't help it."

"What?" He said again, still trying to work out where that had even come from.

Penny shook her head, sighing. "Never mind."

Confused, he shook his head. "O-kay. Here, lift your head." As she did, he put the cushion beneath her head, so that when she lay back down it was tilted back slightly. "Wait there."

Tearing some kitchen paper off its roll, he ran them under the cold tap, tearing one piece in half and folding up the other two. The torn ones, he scrunched up neatly, and returned to the couch.

"Put these in your nose." He put a scrunched kitchen paper in each of her hands and took the flannel away, putting it on her coffee table as she did as he instructed.

"Dis is weirb." Penny furrowed her brow but then grinned. "I sound fuddy! Is dis decessary or just for your abusebent?"

"Both..." He giggled. "No, I'm joking, it helps stem the blood and stop it from dripping down your face."

"Goob. I look like Dracula!" She twitched her nose. "Cab you wibe de dry bits off please. Id's itchy."

"That's what the other kitchen towels are for." He folded them up into smaller bits, and began to dab around her nose. "How did you do this anyway?"

"Probise you won't laugh?" She raised her brow as he nodded. "I was dancing around by abardment to Beyoncé, and I was doing de boody-shake a bid do enthusiastically ad I hit by bose."

Unable to help himself, Leonard laughed. "Seriously?"

"You said you woulbn'd laugh!" Penny frowned.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he smirked, half in attempt to stop laughing, half at the image of Penny attempting the Beyoncé booty shake. "Why were you even trying to do it?"

Penny raised her shoulders slightly. "I just wanted do see ib I cab do id."

"Can you?"

She pointed to her nose. "Does ib look like I cab?"

"I suppose not... well, the bruise on your nose doesn't look too bad. It should be pretty easy to cover up with make-up - that way you don't have to explain the whole situation to people."

"Thad would be embarrassing." Penny shook her head. "I'b an exbert at cobering bruises, remember!"

"That's true," Leonard grinned. "See... there's the silver lining to having your head stitched, I guess."

"Yub." Penny nodded, bringing one hand up to slightly pull back her hair. "Look, cab hardly see id. Just a libble bid, cab you see id?"

He peered at the almost invisible mark on her forehead; if he hadn't known it was there, he probably wouldn't have even seen it. "Oh, yeah. At least your hair covers it. You can't really see it anyway."

"Goob. I don't want do look like Harry Bodder."

"Who's Harry Bodder?" Leonard chuckled.

Penny hit his arm playfully. "Shud ub! You doe wad I bean."

"You'd have to cut all your hair off and dye your hair dark and you know, be a guy, to look like Harry Potter. And wear glasses."

"Like you?" Penny grinned. She bit her lip at the idea, suppressing a giggle as she remembered the time she had found a list of quotes from Harry Potter where the word 'wand' and to be read as a euphemism. "You're like a nerdy Harry Bodder. Hab you even read the boogs?"

Leonard shook his head. "No, so don't ruin it for me! I just know what he looks like."

"You should read dem." Penny nodded. "I thought you would have read dem."

"Mm, I just never really got around to it. Maybe I will one day." He looked at his watch. "How does your nose feel?"

"Hmm." Penny paused and lightly touched her nose, before twitching it. "Bid bedder."

"I think you can take out the kitchen paper from your nose... but in the bathroom, just in case the bleeding hasn't stopped completely."

"You're de exberd." Penny sat up slowly, keeping her head tilted back, as Leonard guided her back through to the bathroom.

Leaning once more over the sink, Penny began to pull out the bits of kitchen paper from her nose. _This is literally the most un-sexy thing I could be doing, and it has to be right in front of Leonard. _She almost wanted to tell him to leave the bathroom, but she knew that would sound weird without an explanation. Besides, a part of her liked the comfort of having him there - he had, after all, seen her throw up, and endured the state of her in the mornings after a night out - so perhaps he wasn't so bothered by these things as she was. _Since when did I become the one to overthink everything? _

She chucked the bits of kitchen paper into the sink, and waited a few seconds, before turning to Leonard.

"Yay! It worked! It stopped!" She grinned.

"Told you. But you still have bits of dried blood around your nose." Leonard sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"Oh." Penny quickly turned around and groaned internally as she looked at herself in the mirror. _Why does he have to see me like this? _She switched on the tap and gently cleaned her face, pleased that at least the bruise wasn't really too bad. She dried her face and turned back to him. "Better?"

"Yeah. Does it feel okay?"

"Just a little sore." Penny nodded. Suddenly, she felt very aware that it was just her and Leonard in the bathroom, and she fought an urge to push him into the bathtub and take him right there. _Maybe run a bubble bath too... _

"I should probably go back and reassure Sheldon the threshold is clear. He actually came by to ask you if you'd drive him to the comic book store."

"I thought Amy was with him, why can't she take him?" Penny raised a brow, shaken from her imagination.

"She has to work tonight. Something about her monkeys and the time of day they get... whatever she's giving them." Leonard shrugged.

"Why can't you take him then?" Penny scoffed. "He's _your _roommate."

"I have less than a quarter tank of gas. He refuses to go anywhere unless I have at least half a tank."

"Then go fill up your gas tank and take him! I'm not driving him to that - _cockamamy _- comic book store. My life doesn't revolve around his inability to drive."

"I already went to the comic book store this afternoon, and I don't want to fill up my gas tank just because of Sheldon." Leonard sighed. "I'll just tell him your nose is still bleeding."

"Tell him you got some on your hands, he won't want to go with you then." Penny grinned.

"That's actually a good idea!" Leonard stood up, smiling.

"Sometimes, I can be a genius too, you know," Penny gave him a pointed look, before they headed out to the front room. They stopped at the door. "Thank you for the help... _Doctor _Hofstadter." She put one arm around his neck, and kissed his cheek, pressing her body into him, her lips lingering for a fraction longer against his skin than they should for it to just be a friendly kiss.

"Uh," Leonard gave her a nervous smile, trying to work out if she was purposefully doing this to him, or if he was just turning her actions into something more than they really were. "Yeah, no problem."

She managed to pull herself away and give him a smile in return, before she let anything else happen. "I hope Sheldon doesn't give you hell about the gas tank and stuff."

"Yeah, I can only hope." Leonard sighed, opening the door behind him. "Bye, Penny."

"I'll see you later."

As usual, Penny watched as he walked back to his apartment. It seemed to be a habit of hers these days. Even now, when they hadn't done anything, she still felt a pang of hurt echo through her body. She wanted him to stay, or ask her to come over, or invite her out to dinner, or... _anything,_ she would settle for _anything_. She hated that she couldn't hang out with him like she had before. A part of her knew that Priya had very good reasoning not to let them hang out, she knew what had happened, there was no denying that her request was right. And she knew that she had violated that request, she'd let Leonard violate it too, so there was no way Priya was going to trust her enough to let them go back to the way things were before, as friends. Penny let her eyes stay on the now closed door to 4A; maybe if she could just regain some of Priya's trust, she would at least be able to hang with everyone as a group again. At _least _that. Penny sighed to herself, she knew she was desperate to just get to be around Leonard - her friends too, she always missed their group meals around the boys coffee table - but it was always Leonard that she missed the most, and she would take anything if it meant being near him.

Instead, she closed her own apartment door, and lay back down on the couch, pulling out her copy of _Physics for Dummies _from beneath the coffee table and opening it to the bookmarked page from the night before. Dancing around her apartment to Beyoncé didn't seem like a good idea anymore. Perhaps one day she would master the signature move, but at least what she learnt from this book would be more impressive to Leonard's intellectual mind.

* * *

**A/N - Okay I can't believe I'm almost on chapter 30 and coming up to 50k words, all these favorites and follows and reviews, you guys are amazing! I'm still kind of overwhelmed how well this has done. Big smile on my face! Ha anyway I thought you could have this little chapter, the booty shake inspired by what I get up to on a 12 hr bar shift (I didn't make my nose bleed, bruised my arm though)! Also another thing I haven't decided is if I want to work some of the events on the show into this, like the Howadette engagement since they're pretty big things, or just keep this separate. (See 5Mississippi's bit me with LP writing bugs after the first chapter so now i have to think about things that will happen in this ****fic! Ha) Anyway enjoy your Monday, I ramble too much, hope you enjoyed the chapter! **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N - This is the only chapter I wrote in advance, ages ago, so I'm doing a rare next-day update! (These things make me as excited as next-day delivery when online shopping) So, it's a little more serious than usual but I've been waiting to get to this point - however I haven't taken an eternal turn to the dark and twisty side! Just sometimes girls have these moments. Us bitches really do be crazy! I'll be getting to Leonard now, but these things just needed to happen first. Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read :) **

* * *

Penny sighed as she glanced over at the screen of her laptop to see who was calling her on Skype, as the ringing sound echoed through her apartment. Upon seeing it was her parents calling, she got up and walked over to the coffee table, deciding it was probably best not to ignore their call, as they would only keep trying to call her.

Clicking on the green answer button, she smiled; seeing her parents and a glimpse of her home always brought her instant comfort. "Hey!"

"Hello sweetheart, we saw you were online and thought we'd call! Are you busy?" Penny's mom grinned.

"No, I finished work an hour ago. I brought some cheesecake home - strawberry, your favorite, mom!" Penny grinned.

"Mm, I might have to make some later."

"Aw, can you send me some? You know I love your strawberry cheesecake!" Penny looked at her dad. "You can post food, right, daddy?"

"If you want my cheesecake you have to get yourself to Nebraska." Meryl looked at her daughter pointedly.

"She was very insistent on _not _coming to Nebraska," Wyatt said.

"Well then sweetie, no cheesecake. You know it would be nice to have you up here, your sister's new boyfriend - he's actually not too bad, considering all the others. He helps your dad out on the farm. Luckily, unlike her ex-husband, he actually has some brains."

"Ah, _she _is the one who needs some brains." Penny rolled her eyes. "I mean the guys _she _has dated, make all the guys you moaned about _me _dating... well, she makes them look like Einstein."

"Don't talk about your sister like that!" Wyatt frowned. "You both have dated your share of men your mom and I certainly didn't approve of."

"I know." Penny hung her head. "Sorry."

"How are things for you on the boyfriend front?"

_Oh yay, my favorite question. _Penny plastered a smile on her face and gave her parents a thumbs up. "Still single." She forced herself to keep the smile on her face, knowing exactly what the next question was going to be.

"How's Leonard doing?"

_There it is. _Penny sighed, unintentionally letting the smile fade from her face. "He's doing... pretty well. Yeah. Leonard's fine. Dandy."

"Penny," Meryl looked at her seriously. "You have _never _used the word dandy. What's wrong." It wasn't so much a question; Penny knew it was a statement, that she knew something was wrong.

"Ugh, I forgot you know I do that." Penny looked down at her hands for a moment, before back up at the screen. "The problem is... is that he _is _fine. He's more than fine. He has a girlfriend, she's foreign and pretty and she's _smart _- this girl is a lawyer, I mean she's basically perfect for him!" She felt tears form in the corner of her eyes, and looked back down at her hands. "And he's doing well at work, and he gets to hang out with his friends, and-and-and... yeah, he's doing great." She took a deep, shaky breath and sat back on the couch, leaning her head back.

Wyatt looked from the screen to his wife, and cleared his throat. "I'll go feed the chickens."

For a moment, Penny sat quietly, staring up at her ceiling, whilst her mother gave her a sad look, letting her gather herself.

"Penny," she said quietly.

"I hate how perfect she is for him." Penny mumbled.

There was a long pause before Meryl spoke. "And?"

"And I hate that he's moved on and I'm still whining about it like I'm going to write a Taylor Swift song."

Another long pause, as Meryl waited to see if Penny would give up whatever else was on her mind without needing her prompt. As expected, she stayed quiet, so once more she repeated "and?"

"And I slept with Leonard behind his girlfriends back."

"_Oh_." Meryl raised her eyebrows; she hadn't expected that at all.

"I know, I'm a terrible person, I'm horrible!" Penny flung herself forwards, pressing her hands into her face as words flew out of her mouth. "Leonard is such a sweet and innocent guy and I'm ruining him and his relationship, oh _God_!"

"Penny, stop, just... stop."

"I'm sorry." Penny lifted her head to look at her mom. "I haven't told anyone, and just saying it makes me feel like the worst person in the world."

"You're not the worst person in the world, sweetheart. It takes two people to have sex. So unless you tied the boy down, before you blame yourself for everything, remember that he was part of it too."

"I know, but I'm the one who initiated it! And I didn't tie him down, by the way. Though I wouldn't mind him tying me..." Penny groaned, flopping back against the couch. "See! I just get these thoughts and it's like I have no filter when it comes to him!"

"You're entitled to have fantasies. I have my fair share."

"Mom, that's gross, I don't want to hear about that." Penny scrunched up her face. "Besides, that's not what the problem is. Well, it is a problem, I can't stop them, but it's... well, there was a _dream_-"

"Which I don't want to know about."

"I wasn't going to tell you about the dream!" Penny waved her hands at the screen, letting out a giggle.

Meryl grinned at her daughter, and then raised a brow. "You two slept together more than just one time, didn't you?"

"W-what? No!" Penny gave an over-dramatic jaw drop, and then shrunk under her mothers glare. "Okay, we did. How did you know?"

"It wouldn't be bothering you so much if it had only happened once." Her expression turned soft again. "Talk to me, sweetheart."

"It's complicated." Penny twiddled with her thumbs. She let a course of silence pass, knowing that her mom wouldn't give her a way out now. "It's not like we plan for it to happen... it just does. It's like Leonard has an override switch or something, no matter how much I say to myself it won't happen again, he just has to touch me and I'm no longer in control of myself. It kills me watching him leave and going back to his girlfriend, but..."

"If it hurts that much, then why are you letting it happen?"

"I just..." Penny looked at the keyboard of her laptop. "It's just that every time he touches me, I loose control, and I _like _it. I love how he can do that to me. When he kisses me my knees go weak and my heart beats like I'm really _alive_, you know? Leonard is the only guy who has ever made me feel like that. So even when he leaves, and it hurts like crazy, I know I'd face that same pain if it meant I got those amazing moments that lead up to it. Every single time, I'll take it. I don't know why, I don't know how he does it, I don't know why I let him... I just do."

"Is it really worth that pain, over and over again?"

"Yes." Penny nodded, her voice strong. It surprised her how easy it was to answer that question.

"That's not a good thing, Penny. I understand that he makes you feel wonderful, and that you don't mind the pain, but have you thought about how much it is probably hurting him? How much it hurts his girlfriend, and his relationship?"

Penny's mouth opened slightly as her body froze. It suddenly hit her that she had never, not once, thought about if it was hurting Leonard. The man she claimed to care about so much, was the one she hadn't ever given a thought to about how much her own problems, her lack of control, her emotions, her inability to express them correctly, her overpowering need, was hurting _him. _Yes, she had wondered why he had never stopped her or said no, she had wondered why he so readily partook, but never had she wondered how this was affecting him emotionally. And she felt selfish, because she knew how sensitive he was, and how much he would overthink everything, and how much he cared about her, and how much he cared about Priya. With Priya, she only saw the judgment and hatred, but she hadn't thought about it actually _hurting _her. "Oh God..."

"You have to figure out your feelings for yourself, Penny. I know you want to tell me you don't have feelings for Leonard, but I can see it right there on your face, sweetheart. And I can see the hurt, too." Meryl frowned, wishing she could hold her daughter. But she knew that with Penny, she not only needed time, but also firmer words to get through to her properly. "You and Leonard aren't in a relationship anymore. You're not over him, you're taking _his _new relationship hard. I understand that and I know how much it hurts. But you can't go to Leonard whenever you fancy, and expect sex from him. Sleeping with him and pining after him is not going to help you move on. He has. Yes, he is the one with a girlfriend and not saying no, but that's his problem. If you care about him, don't be the one to ruin his relationship. Don't give him a reason to have to say no to you. The boy loved you, sweetheart. Obviously he still cares about you, but stop taking it for granted. You're hurting him, you're hurting yourself."

Taking a shaky breath, Penny looked blankly at her mother. "I know everything you're saying is right but I still know that given the chance I'd still take it, to be with him for even a little while."

"Don't let there _be _a chance, then. You had your own chance, sweetheart, and I'm sorry it didn't work out, but that's the way it is. You remember how devastated you were when you found out Kurt was cheating on you? From what I've heard from your father, Leonard is a much better man than he was - so do you really want to inflict the same kind of hurt upon Leonard's girlfriend, that you felt before?"

Penny didn't have the heart to tell her mother that Priya already knew about the first time it had happened. But she did feel in her heart a new guilt, a different type of pain. What right did she have to make Priya feel the way she had a few years ago? Penny remembered all too well how hurt she had been, and how difficult it had been to start her life over after him, but also how easily she had gone back to him and believed him when he told her he'd changed. Now, it dawned on her why Priya hadn't told Leonard what she knew - yes, Priya was smart, but when it came to men, and love, she was just as clueless as Penny.

"I've never thought about any of that." Penny said quietly, the words coming out of her mouth with shock.

"We never do until it's put right in front of us. Now, promise me Penny, that you won't do anything stupid."

"What?"

"Well, when you're upset and hurting, you tend to go for the drink and it never ends well. I've seen you do it many times before, your sister too, and I've been through it all, so _please _promise me you won't do something stupid."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Penny shot angrily, her emotions running haywire.

"I just don't want you to do what you've done before! I worry about you, Penny, sweetheart, please don't-"

"You think just because that slutty, alcoholic, messed up part of your life is over you can tell me what to do with _my _life?" Penny gripped the top edge of her laptop.

"Don't you talk to me like that!"

"Well maybe I won't talk to you at all!"

With that, Penny slammed down the screen of her laptop, instantly pressing her hands into her face until she saw patterns against her eyelids. She knew what she had done was childish, but her emotions were so open and she was so vulnerable right now that it scared her, and she didn't know how to deal with them. Her face felt hot, and her cheeks were wet with tears she couldn't remember running from her eyes. Without even thinking, she forced herself off the couch and stomped over to the kitchen, where she grabbed a bottle of wine. Grabbing her biggest wine glass from the shelf, she poured herself a generous amount, gulping most of it down in one go. She grabbed another bottle from on top of the fridge, and brought it over to the coffee table with the one she had started and her glass.

Pressing the 'power' button on her remote control, she cursed at the television when it showed Doctor Who, still on the same channel she had been watching that morning before work. She changed the channel over and let _Sex and the City _stay on the screen, in the hopes she would find some comfort in it as she usually did.

She let out a bitter laugh as she pressed the little 'i' on her remote control to see which episode was on. "Ha, 'Secret Sex'... oh, if only you knew, Carrie Bradshaw." Penny shook her head, pouring herself another generous measure of wine. "Though I'd feel a lot better about it if I had your closet."

Ignoring the fact that she _knew _she was doing stupid things, just like her mom had told her not to do, Penny re-opened her laptop and decided if she was upset, at least she could comfort herself with some retail therapy. "If I don't feel good inside, at least I can look good outside... ooh, sale items!"


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N - Ok, this is in Leonard mode now! I will try stick to him for a while. A big thank you to Tensor for helping me out with explaining stuff from a guys point of view. I've been leaning a lot more towards Penny because, as a girl, it's just easier to write her and I don't have to think about it as much! So hopefully this doesn't suck, and hopefully it makes sense the way it is. There's not much dialogue in this chapter, but I promise they won't all be lacking in speech! :) **

* * *

As he, for the third time that week, heard stumbling outside in the hallway, Leonard frowned. It was followed by the sound of mumbled voices, a door closing, and two pairs of footsteps heading back down the stairs, chatting quietly - not quite sober, but still coherent.

He knew it was the same as usual; Penny coming home drunk, with Bernadette and Amy behind her, making sure she got back home okay. It was the same as it had been for the past few weeks, and he would be lying to say he wasn't worried. A few times, when he had been coming home late, he had seen them - Penny rushing into the apartment, leaving behind a distinct smell of alcohol, with Amy and Bernadette giving him an apologetic look when the door to 4B had closed. Sometimes they returned earlier, such as on nights like these. That was the only time he really saw Penny these days; it was strange, because he was so used to bumping into her, and it was like suddenly she had stopped doing all these things. But he knew she was still going to work, because when they ate there with the group she would still wait on their table, she just never stayed to chat. She always looked tired, though, and at first he wondered if she was just working more and that's why he wasn't seeing her. But it had become clear that the tiredness was from her all too frequent late nights. Howard told him that Bernadette told him Penny had picked up extra shifts, so he figured she just wasn't getting enough rest.

But he worried that she spent so many nights coming home late, drunk, and always with the girls making sure she got home. He knew she had a habit of drinking when she was upset, but what could she be _that _upset about to be out more often than not? He knew she hadn't lost her job, so it wasn't that. Maybe it was her acting career? She wasn't getting any callbacks from auditions; he knew she could take that quite hard. Though he didn't know if she'd even been going to auditions recently. Amy and Bernadette didn't have any answers either - he'd asked them, in what he had hoped was a subtle manner, if there was a reason they were always out, but they said they didn't know. They enjoyed going out, Amy found it exciting, frequenting all these new places. They knew something was bothering her but she never said anything.

Amy had, at least, said to him "if it's any reassurance, she isn't sleeping with people when she's drunk" and he thought at least that was good. Even though they weren't dating he didn't want her getting together with someone like Zack, or even worse, Kurt. If he was being honest, he didn't want her to be with anyone, he just didn't like the idea of it. He knew that was selfish and out of his control but he couldn't help thinking it.

"Leonard." Sheldon's voice came from the hallway leading to their bedrooms. "I would like to advise you that the last ten minutes of your allocated bathroom time are coming up. If you wish to shower tonight, which I sincerely hope you do, then please go soon. You know I don't like hearing the shower run when I am trying to sleep."

Tearing his eyes away from the front door, Leonard turned to look at Sheldon. "Sorry, I'll go shower now."

"Why were you staring at the door? Are you afraid somebody is going to break in?" Sheldon enquired, now heading to the kitchen to make a mug of warm milk. "Because if you have heard any suspicious noises and think there is going to be a burglary then we need to take precautions."

"I was just thinking, Sheldon. No-one is going to break in."

"You don't know that."

"Okay, no-one is going to break in, that I know of." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Well why _would _you know, Leonard?" Sheldon gave him a look as if to say 'how could you be so stupid?' before turning to place his mug in the microwave. "They wouldn't be very good robbers if they told people they were going to rob an apartment, now would they?"

"I don't know, Sheldon." Leonard sighed. "I'm going to go take my shower now. Good night."

"Good night, Leonard." Sheldon watched his roommate walk to the bathroom, waiting until he heard the door close. Then, he quickly walked over to the front door, double-checking the locks. He certainly wasn't taking any chances.

* * *

It was only after another week that Leonard actually saw Penny properly; he had taken his laundry down earlier and had gone back to collect it from the dryer, when he saw Penny shaking washing powder into three machines.

"That's... a lot of washing."

Penny didn't turn around, but she knew it was him. A small smile formed on her face, she had missed his voice. "Yeah, I don't have the money to keep buying new clothes so I had to get it all done. I'm running out of things to wear."

"Glad to see your laundry habits haven't changed then!" Leonard grinned, even though she wasn't looking at him. "I just came to collect my laundry."

"Oh, sorry, I'll get out of your way then." Penny put her now empty basket on top of one of the machines she was using, turning away quickly as he went to his machine. "See you, Leonard."

He couldn't help but notice that she hadn't looked at him, not once. "Yeah, bye, Penny." He called after her as she left, not sure if he was just overthinking the situation. _Maybe she's just in a rush to get somewhere. _He shrugged, decided he was probably just over-analyzing the whole situation as usual.

As he folded his clean laundry, picking up one of Priya's blouses - _how did that end up in my laundry basket? _- he thought about how Priya seemed much happier now that Penny wasn't visiting every so often. He wondered if she noticed, too, the way Penny's presence had abruptly disappeared. She was probably glad that her request had finally settled in properly. Leonard still didn't understand why Priya was so determined to stop him from hanging out with Penny, anyway. Did she know what had happened? Surely she would have said something. And besides, her request had come way before he had done anything with Penny. Maybe she was just more insecure than she let on.

His thoughts didn't stay on Priya for too long, however, as he remembered the questions he was burning to ask Penny, but didn't know how to ask them. Why was she suddenly drinking so much? What had gotten to her so strongly? Is that why she was working extra shifts, to pay for her nights out? Did she need to talk to someone? Was she purposefully avoiding him, or was it just a coincidence that this is the first time they'd seen each other properly in weeks, and she hadn't even so much as looked at him? Why couldn't she just talk to Bernadette and Amy?

With a sigh, he picked up his laundry basket, full of neatly folded clothes, and headed slowly back up the stairs. Reaching the landing between 4A and 4B, he looked towards Penny's closed door. He considered knocking on her door and going to talk to her. He knew she was in, after all, and she'd never previously objected to his company. And Priya wasn't going to be home for at least another hour... _no, I shouldn't... things are going well with Priya. Besides, if Penny really wanted to talk, she would have done so in the laundry room. She didn't even look at me, why should I talk to her anyway? _He began to feel a little angry, he hadn't done anything as far as he could remember, she hadn't even asked how he was doing.

Entering his apartment, he headed straight for his bedroom to put the clean laundry away. He put Priya's shirt on the chair, so she could take it back to Raj's. She didn't keep her things here, so there was no point in putting it in one of his drawers anyway. There were only a few things of hers, overnight stuff, when she knew she would be staying the night. He wasn't going to make that jump with her yet, just outright having a 'place' for her clothes.

He put his own clothes away quickly, until he came to his shirt at the bottom of the laundry basket. It was the light blue one he hardly wore, but he remembered Penny wearing it one morning. She had made French Toast that morning, much to Sheldon's dismay. He smiled at the memory, waking up to find that she had cooked breakfast, he loved that. He chuckled slightly as he remembered that was after they had broken her bed and had to stay at his place - again, much to Sheldon's dismay. She had practically torn that shirt off him the night before, and he had done the same to her after they had eaten their breakfast. She made his clothes look so sexy, she always wore them better than he ever did.

Priya never wore his shirts. He wondered how she would look in one of his shirts. Not the blue one he was holding, though. She never really cooked him breakfast, either, and Sheldon never mentioned or complained about the noise decibels coming from Leonard's room when Priya was there with him. _It would be nice to actually hear that she's enjoying it..._

Hanging up the shirt, Leonard sat down on his bed. He felt guilty that he preferred the little things that Penny would do, that Priya did differently. But of course, he reasoned to himself, they would be different. They were two completely different people. Besides, there were things that Priya did, which he preferred, so that wasn't really a one-sided thing, he decided.

Drawing patterns on his comforter, he allowed his mind to wander to the subject of himself, and Priya, and Penny. How was she in this equation? Leonard thought back to the first time he had cheated on Priya with Penny. He hated that word and he hated that he was using it to describe himself, but he knew it was true. Back then, it didn't seem such a big deal. It happened, it was just a way of trying to get rid of those lingering feelings; it was a one-time thing. Yes, it was wrong, but he couldn't change the fact that it had happened. But how had it _kept_ happening? He knew he still had feelings for Penny. Ever since the first time he'd seen her, he'd had feelings for her. That wouldn't go away, he knew that. But there was something about her that took him over, something about her that stopped him from ever saying 'no' - he never wanted to, and around her he couldn't even force himself to stop her and convince himself that he _had _to say no.

"Leonard?"

That was her, she was looking for him, coming to explain to him what the hell was happening with her life, and tell him she was sorry for not staying to chat down in the laundry room, she was making dinner, or something, and maybe he wanted to come over and join her. Spaghetti, or maybe hot dogs, or maybe she was going to order food. Open a bottle of wine, let her do the talking.

But it wasn't, and Leonard gulped down his guilt when Priya walked into his bedroom.

"There you are... why are you just sitting in here?" Priya looked at him with confusion.

"Oh... I was putting laundry away, and I felt tired so I thought I'd get some rest." He shrugged. "Your shirts over there by the way, I found it in my laundry so I washed it." He gestured to the chair. "How was work?"

"We had a big Skype conference in the afternoon, speaking to the team in India, which is better than paperwork, so... not bad." Priya picked up her shirt and threw it into her overnight bag. "But it means I have to catch up on that paperwork tomorrow, which I am _not _looking forward to."

"That reminds me, I really need to get to work on my paper tomorrow." Leonard sighed, standing up from the bed.

"At least it's not going to be as boring and time consuming as mine."

Leonard stopped for a moment on his way to the door. He wanted to tell her maybe it wouldn't be as boring, but at least she wasn't going to have to write about the amount of times his experiment failed, and why the research was still inconclusive. As for time consuming, well, she obviously hadn't sat up all night trying to remember everything she was meant to write about, messing up equations and mixing up formulas. Heck, she wasn't even going to stay up with him until he finished his work, she never did. Instead of telling her this, he just said a quick "yeah, I guess," and headed out to the kitchen. "You want a cup of tea?"

"Sure," Priya followed him out, sitting down on the middle of the couch. "So what are the dinner plans today?"

"It's pizza night, Howard's picking it up on his way over."

"Oh, of course, pizza... again." Priya frowned. "How can you eat pizza every single week? Doesn't it get... boring?"

"You get used to it. Sometimes we annoy Sheldon and order a different topping than normal." Leonard giggled. "He hates that, but it's fun for the rest of us! Milk?"

"Yes please. So that's it, just... a different topping from time to time?"

"Yeah. Though today at lunch we said we might get that new hot dog stuffed crust pizza." Leonard grinned to himself, as a sudden flashback of Penny eating that hot dog re-entered his mind. He stirred the tea for a while with a silly grin on his face.

"And...?"

He blinked quickly, shaken from his flashback. Clearing his throat, he looked over at Priya. "Oh... yeah, Sheldon got mad and gave a whole lecture on how 'wrong' it is to put hot dogs and pizza into one meal." _Penny would like that pizza though, she loves pizza. And hot dogs. I should suggest that to her at some point. Maybe if she comes over one night for pizza again, I'll order her that pizza. _"So we're not having hot dog stuffed crust pizza, to save from an evening of extra-moany Sheldon. Hey - I just remembered - Raj said that in India, they don't have that little triangle in the pizza box to stop the lid of the box from touching the cheese. Is that true?"

"What triangle thing?"

Leonard handed Priya her cup of tea and sat down next to her. "You know, that little triangle thing... it looks like a tiny three legged stool!" Upon her look of confusion, he sighed. "Okay, maybe they don't have it then. I thought Raj was just joking." He reached for the television remote, then turned to Priya. "Since Sheldon's not back yet, you wanna watch Babylon 5 with me? I've been re-watching the box set whenever he's not here."

"Yeah, sure!" Priya grinned. "I've never seen it. Is it good?"

"Well, I like it. I'll go get Season 1 and we can start from the beginning!"

Placing his hot mug down carefully, Leonard practically ran to his bedroom to get the discs, since Sheldon refused to keep them with the other DVDs and box sets. He was sure Priya would like it. He felt like a kid, excited to share one of his favorite things, and just happy that somebody wanted to watch it with him.

* * *

**A/N - Oh and I may or may not have started writing some M-rated shizzle to fill in the parts you don't see here. Just to tease you all because I'm evil. **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N - Ah you guys, I love reading your reviews, I'm so glad I seem to have written Leonard correctly! :) I read all your comments, I keep them in mind whilst writing! I wrote most of this last night whilst watching Friends (high five Molly for late night writing) so... the second part is mainly inspired by 8x5, when Rachel goes back to the coffee house but sees Ross with Mona and leaves with this look upon her face - it doesn't go like that on here but that's what gave me the idea! The next chapter will most likely be Amy and Bernadette based, as opposed to Leonard, but I'll be coming back to him, as well as a bit of Penny later on. I think that's all, so, enjoy Hello Kitty Monday! **

* * *

"Amy," Sheldon turned to his 'not-my-girlfriend' excitedly, almost certain she was going to answer his question with the positive reaction his friends refused to give him. "This weekend, I am attending the book launch of a less-than-satisfactory physicist. Leonard, Howard and Raj foolishly think there are better ways to spend time than listening to me outsmart this man, and I am extending my invitation to you."

Amy hesitated. "As much fun as that sounds, Sheldon, I'm afraid I have other plans. Bernadette and I have plans with Penny this weekend."

Sheldon frowned for a second, but then nodded. "That's alright. I understand the importance of sticking to a pre-organized schedule."

"What are you doing with Penny?" Leonard asked, hoping his question sounded casual.

"We're going to see a movie," Bernadette smiled. "And then she's taking us to a bar in Hollywood."

"We're going to use our female assets to get free drinks from males with as much money as sexual hunger." Amy grinned.

"That's..." Leonard paused. "That sounds like a fun night."

"It will be, we went shopping yesterday for outfits." Bernadette nodded.

"Bernie showed me her new dress." Howard looked over at Leonard. "The free drinks are guaranteed."

Leonard thought that Penny could get free drinks even if she walked into a bar wearing an oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants, but he didn't mention this. He wished she _wasn't _going out - he still hated the idea of her constantly drunk, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He felt insanely overprotective, but at the same time helpless. It worried him, but it seemed Amy and Bernadette were doing what they could; for this, he was grateful.

"Raj is late." Sheldon said suddenly, looking at his watch.

"What?"

"It is one minute past six, and I specifically told him and Priya to arrive at six o'clock." Sheldon shook his head. "Honestly, I don't know why I trusted him."

"Trust him with what?" Howard glanced at Sheldon and then at Leonard, both knowing he was going to say something that wouldn't be an issue to anybody else.

"To pick up the food and deliver it here punctually." Sheldon frowned. "I thought I could trust him. Even Leonard did a better job of getting the food at the right time. And I bet Raj didn't pick up the right soy sauce."

"He's _one _minute late, Sheldon, what's the big deal?" Leonard got up to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Wrong. Two minutes now. Keep up, Leonard." Sheldon held his wrist out, pointing to his watch, before folding his arms. "Why couldn't _you_ collect the food, and pick Raj and Priya up, Leonard?"

"Because Raj is perfectly capable of picking up the food on his way over, and driving over here." Leonard sat back down, opening the bottle.

"Yes, but Priya is _your _girlfriend. And by that standard, you should be picking her up and driving her places. And you are _my _roommate, so you should be collecting the food."

"That's quite a double standard, considering you always ask me to come over for dinner and escort myself to places." Amy said pointedly. "If you don't do it, why are you making a big deal of Leonard not doing it?"

Sheldon looked at Amy in consideration, and then gave a small nod. "You're right." He said quietly, and then turned to Leonard. "My apologies."

Moments later, Raj and Priya came through the door, carrying the white plastic bags containing their food, which they brought straight over to the coffee table.

"Did you buy all the things on my list?" Sheldon enquired.

Raj shook his head, and then leaned to Howard to whisper something in his ear.

Howard rolled his eyes as he reached for his food. "He was going to, but Priya didn't want to go to the store, as they were already running late."

"Well that is _highly _unacceptable."

"Were you really willing to wait another half hour for your food Sheldon?" Priya asked, sitting down next to Leonard on the couch.

"Hmm." Sheldon frowned at her. "I suppose not. Though, you could have gone to the store first, and _then _picked up the food, to avoid the disaster of not having the right products and cold food."

"Well not everybody has time for your whacky needs, Sheldon," Leonard said, realizing Priya didn't really need to be involved in this.

The meal passed as usual, with Sheldon bringing up various conversational topics that nobody was all that interested in, but joined anyway. Leonard had noticed how different it was now - he didn't know if the others noticed, but Penny's absence from their meals was always very evident, especially these days. It was much quieter, and there was also more food left over, which made him chuckle a little. He disguised it as a cough when he realized that his chuckle seemed out of the blue to everyone else.

"You know why tomorrow is going to be better than today?" Sheldon asked, after a moment of silence following the end of a short-lived conversation about army ants.

Everybody looked at each other, before Howard asked with a bored expression, "why?"

"Because tomorrow, Leonard will be collecting the food, and also, because I get to wear my new Star Wars socks for our Star Wars marathon tomorrow night."

"I bought him those socks." Amy said proudly.

"I don't appreciate gifts normally, but I do love those socks."

"You're having a Star Wars marathon tomorrow night?" Priya asked Leonard.

"Yeah," Leonard grinned. "It's going to be pretty bad-ass."

"Oh, I thought we would do something more exciting, the two of us... you really want to spend your Friday night just... watching Star Wars?"

"Watching Star Wars is pretty exciting..." Leonard frowned.

"_Just _watching Star Wars? _Just_?" Sheldon's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to continue, but Amy nudged him and gave him a very pointed look that told him to stay quiet. "Sorry."

"I'm sorry, we can always do something on Saturday night?" Leonard offered apologetically. "Or you could always watch with us?"

"Thanks for the offer sweetie, but I don't think Star Wars is really my thing." Priya shrugged, her expression showing no interest in even the offer to spend time with her boyfriend and his friends.

_It wasn't Penny's thing either but she still came over to watch with me. _Leonard frowned. He felt bad, but at the same time he wanted her to actually _want _to do something with him and his friends, or at the very least make sure she wasn't going to be doing nothing while was having fun with his friends. "Umm... you could go out with Amy and Bernadette and Penny?"

As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn't. He didn't know why he had thought at that moment it was a good idea to suggest his current girlfriend spend time with his ex-girlfriend and her friends - or as Amy said, her 'besties' - he knew Priya wasn't particularly fond of Penny, and although Penny had never really said anything against Priya, he was pretty sure that she wasn't her biggest fan either. As much as Leonard wanted the two to be friends, he knew the likelihood of that happening any time soon was pretty low. Besides, on a Friday night, they would most likely be going out to a bar, and Priya wouldn't appreciate Penny's drinking habits, especially the more recent ones.

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other nervously, trying to figure out the least awkward way of getting out of this. There was little they knew from Penny, but they knew she definitely wouldn't want Priya to come on a night out with them. But how were they to say that to Leonard's girlfriend? Leonard, who was the best friend of their respective partners?

Thankfully, all three of them were saved by Priya's response. "No, it's okay. I don't think going out like that is really my thing either." She gave an awkward smile, hoping she hadn't come across as too rude - she had told the truth, she didn't like going out. But she also didn't want to go out with Penny, drinking wasn't something she generally approved of - not that way Penny did it - and the whole idea of being with these girls who had known each other and these guys for a long time was quite intimidating. "Since Raj won't be home I think I'll just use that time to relax and maybe get ahead on some paperwork."

"Oh, okay," Leonard grinned, relieved.

* * *

A bag of takeaway in his left hand, Leonard climbed the final set of stairs grinning; he was excited for their Star Wars marathon. It had been a long time since they'd done something like this, and he did love watching the movies. He had no objections to any of the girls hanging out with them, but a night like old times with just the guys being their nerdy selves was something he had been looking forward to for a long time.

Upon reaching the landing, he heard a door closing and turned to 4B to see Penny, dressed up for her night out. She gave him a small, shy smile, and suddenly all he could think of was how beautiful she looked right now. Not in a sexual way, or a wow-I-used-to-date-that-woman way, she just looked gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile on his face as he took every part of her in. The light layer of make-up accompanying the shy smile she wore as she looked at him with shining eyes. The blonde curls tied back, letting the focus stay on her face. She wore a black dress, which was less revealing than he had expected for her night out; it didn't show off any cleavage, and ended just above her knees, but still showed off her figure in an elegant way. She wore matching black heels and a glittery black clutch bag. He knew that she was a beautiful woman, there was no doubt about that, nobody could deny it. But he couldn't remember the last time she had taken his breath away like this, or anyone for that matter, just with a small smile.

"Hey," Penny said eventually, smoothing down her dress.

There were so many things he wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask. But he couldn't ask them, not now, they wouldn't come out of his mouth. "Hey." He paused, not sure if he should say anything about how she looked - from what he understood, telling your ex-girlfriend she looked beautiful wasn't really something he should do. But he wanted to tell her, she had to know. He didn't want anything from it, he just wanted her to know how beautiful she was. "You look... you look lovely."

"Thank you." Penny took the smallest of steps towards him, and he swore he could see her blush slightly. She loved those little compliments, she could see them on his face before he said them. The _way _he said them, and looked at her, made her feel a million times better, as if he had just told her she was the single most beautiful woman on the planet. He hadn't, she knew that, but it was how she felt whenever he did it.

"You going some place fancy?"

"Oh, Bernadette found this place, and she said it's a little classier so..." She smoothed down her dress again, not sure what it was that was making her so nervous in the first place. "Is that Chinese?" She gestured to the bag in Leonard's hand.

"Yeah," He nodded, holding it up. "We're having a Star Wars marathon!"

"Ooh, sounds like fun." She giggled. "Just the movies or are you going to play that game too, the one you taught me - that was Star Wars, right?"

"It was Star Wars, yeah," Leonard smiled. "But we're just watching the movies tonight."

"Hmm, sounds like fun."

"It should be." They stood for a moment, just looking at each other, before he spoke. "Well, enjoy your night."

Penny looked at him sadly for a moment, long enough for him to catch it, but she smiled again when she saw confusion begin to show in his eyes. "Thank you, Leonard. You too."

"Hey, Penny," Leonard said, as she went to take a step forwards to begin her descent down the stairs. "You want a fortune cookie?"

Her face lit up. "Ooh, yes please!"

He held the bag out to her, and she carefully rummaged through to locate the fortune cookies. She picked one, and he put the bag down by the door, walking over to her. "Come on, I wanna see what fortune you get."

"Okay," She grinned, unwrapping the cookie and then breaking it. She eagerly unrolled the little piece of paper; she always loved reading the fortunes. "The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost."

Penny looked up at Leonard slowly. He could feel her eyes on him, and he lifted his head too, his gaze moving from the fortune to her eyes. They stood like this for a good few seconds, which felt like hours, the fortune still held in her slightly shaking hand.

"Well, that's cute." She said eventually, through the lump in her throat. "I should go, Bernadette and Amy are probably wondering what's taking me so long."

Leonard nodded, not sure what that look meant, but almost certain the fortune in her fortune cookie had something to do with it. "Yeah, sure. Have a good time."

"Thanks, you too." She gave him another quick, small smile as she headed for the stairs, the fortune clasped in her hand tightly.

"Be careful. Don't drink too much." Leonard said quickly. He didn't want to not say anything, he knew he couldn't control the situation but he wanted to at least try and put it in Penny's head.

She turned her head to look at him, her expression a mix of guilt followed by a smirk. "Yeah, I'll try my best. Enjoy all the Star Wars fun!"

"Thank you!" As he turned to the door of 4A, he wondered if he was thanking her for acknowledging what he had shown of his concern, for her saying she'll try her best, or for wishing him to enjoy his night. But it didn't really matter, he decided, because that was the first real conversation they'd had in a while, actually looking at each other, and it made him feel even happier than he thought he'd been with just watching Star Wars.


	33. Chapter 33

Leonard looked down at his phone, which was next to him on the couch, as the screen lit up and the little green icon appeared to show he had a message.

"Leonard, the backlight from your phone is seriously affecting the lighting effects show in the film." Sheldon hissed.

Rolling his eyes, Leonard quickly turned down the brightness settings on his phone, keeping it next to his leg so as not to annoy Sheldon. He went to his messages, and raised a brow to see it was from Penny.

_**Thank you **_

He frowned. _Thank you for what_? He looked at the time, it was only a little past ten. Was she drunk already and just sending texts that made very little sense and had no context? His heart fell slightly, obviously she hasn't listened to him. But he knew there was no proof that she was actually drunk. Maybe she had just sent a text to the wrong person. He was about to text back asking 'what for', when another message came through, and he realized she must have accidentally hit send where she had meant to continue typing the message.

_**For saying I look nice earlier and for giving me a fortune cookie. I had a really crappy day so that cheered me up :) And you will be pleased to know I am home after only 1 glass of wine. Hope you are enjoying all the star wars fun! x**_

And then, just as he finished reading her text, another came through, making him chuckle slightly.

_**Sorry. Nebraskan man hands = pressed send key instead of space bar :( **_

While Sheldon, Raj and Howard simultaneously gasped at whatever was happening on the screen, Leonard felt a wave of relief wash over him. She was home, and she wasn't drunk, and he had made her day better. He smiled at the thought that he, just by giving her a small compliment, had made her day better. _Maybe I'm overthinking this... maybe she just wanted to be nice about it. _He looked at the other three sitting on the couch, Howard next to Sheldon and Raj at the end, and then back at his phone, typing out a message to Penny without really thinking about it.

_**Glad to hear it :) You want to come over and watch with us? **_

Across the hall, Penny looked longingly at her door. There was nothing more she wanted right now than to go across the hall, cuddle up with Leonard on the armchair she just knew he was sitting in, and watch the film with him. She so badly wanted to just listen to him explain what was happening, with excitement, as his hand held hers, and Sheldon shot them glares for talking during the movie. But she knew that despite Leonard's offer, and despite everything she wanted, going over there wasn't the right thing to do. He was probably just extending the invitation to be polite, he was always kind like that. Amy and Bernadette had told her that Priya had declined Leonard's offer to join him and the guys in the Star Wars marathon. But just because Priya wouldn't be there, that didn't mean that she should go over. She was upset, she was filled with all sorts of emotions from that stupid fortune cookie, and she knew when she felt like this she did senseless things and Leonard was usually involved when alcohol wasn't. Penny was determined to stay strong while she still could; his compliment and his offer were things she needed to personally distance herself away from. Besides, she still had a few bottles of wine on top of her fridge.

_**That's ok, I'm just going to stay in, thanks for the offer. Have fun x**_

Leonard tried not to focus too much on the feeling of disappointment that ran through him. It was better that she had declined his offer, he told himself. Although he hated not seeing her all the time, and not talking to her, he realized that perhaps distancing themselves from each other was what they had needed. Things were going better with Priya now, and even though he still felt those feelings whenever he saw Penny, he thought maybe he could step away from the things he had done wrong, stop making them happen, and move on. Maybe she was moving on too. She wanted to be friends, after all, and maybe that's what she was doing. Maybe he didn't have enough balls to draw a line, but she did, and maybe that's what needed to happen. He frowned, clicking the lock button, and turning his attention back to the TV, in desperate need of something to distract him before he began overthinking everything once more.

* * *

"That was a really weird night." Bernadette sighed, flicking on the light switch. She and Amy had just returned from collecting her car from outside Penny's apartment, the cab having them dropped them off there. "It's so unlike Penny to just suggest we go home early. That bar was actually really nice!"

"I know, I even undid one of my shirt buttons for the occasion." Amy looked down at her shirt, and then back up at Bernadette. "The only time she suggested leaving early was when we brought up Leonard. Do you think that has any correlation to what happened tonight?"

Bernadette looked at Amy for a moment as she sat down on the sofa. "Amy, you can sit down, you know."

"Oh, okay. Thank you. I didn't want to intrude." She gave a small smile and sat carefully on the couch.

"You're welcome." Bernadette raised a brow. "Maybe it does have something to do with Leonard. What did she say when she got into the cab earlier?"

"I believe she said 'okay, lets get crazy' and then ate a fortune cookie."

"Why did she have a fortune cookie?"

"I don't know. She likes fortune cookies. After that she put something in her purse."

"Okay, well I don't really think that's going to help. It's just a fortune cookie." Bernadette shrugged. "Maybe it wasn't something to do with Leonard. She would have said if she saw him before leaving, wouldn't she?"

"She probably would." Amy nodded. "Speaking of Leonard, I made an interesting observation earlier. One that seems fairly obvious now that it has come to me, but nevertheless, an interesting one."

"Ooh, what is it?"

"As we know, Penny, our beautiful bestie, is not educated, is stuck in a menial, minimum wage job that requires very little skill or educational requirement. She is funny, she understands the guys as much as she can, she is not afraid to show off what her mother gave her - did I use that phrase correctly?" Amy added quickly, to which Bernadette gave a quick nod. "Good. Now, Priya. She is highly educated, with a demanding job that requires exceptional qualifications and, not to mention, the ability to speak at least two languages. However, she is _not _funny, and she simply does not understand Sheldon. Or Howard, or even Leonard and Raj. We can agree that she is almost as good looking as Penny - though she does get bonus marks for her exotic look."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Hold on, hear me out." Amy looked at Bernadette, unimpressed, but continued anyway. "Leonard is, as we know, nowhere near as intelligent as Sheldon, but we cannot deny that he is smart. He has a steady, successful job and is independent from his parents and siblings. Bestie, after her break up with Leonard, dated Zack. Zack is _incredibly _good looking..." She took a moment to compose herself. "However, he is also _incredibly _stupid. He works for his dad's company - which there isn't particularly anything wrong with - but from what I understand, he still lives with, and is dependent on, his parents."

"Oh..." Bernadette nodded, eyes wide, as if it had just dawned on her. "I see what you're saying."

"They both went for people who are the exact opposite of each other." Amy gave a conformational nod.

"But Penny's was only a short-time thing because she's the one who shied away from the idea of commitment, whereas Leonard _wants _commitment so let himself start a new relationship..." Bernadette said slowly. "Ohh, nice work Amy!"

"Thank you."

"So when Penny said she wasn't over Leonard... do you think she's _jealous _of Leonard and Priya? Because Priya is giving Leonard what she couldn't?"

Amy frowned. "Do you mean Priya is giving Leonard what Penny couldn't in the bedroom? Because I'm not comfortable discussing that. I don't have enough information on that topic."

"What? No!" Bernadette shook her head quickly.

"Though there is no doubt that Penny would be an absolute goddess in the bedroom," Amy grinned dreamily.

"Okay," Bernadette gave a nervous giggle, shuffling slightly away from Amy. "Anyway, I meant commitment-wise. Penny knows that Leonard wants a committed relationship, but she also knows she isn't ready for that."

"I see. Perhaps." Amy shrugged. "I'm not very experienced with relationships, so I can only share my observations."

"Which are?"

"Which are what?"

"Your observations!"

"Oh! Well, based on Penny telling us she is not over Leonard, and her express dislike of Priya, and the amount of time she has had in which she would have typically moved on, I believe that given the chance, she would be willing to give the relationship another chance. The relationship being hers and Leonard's. However, she sees Priya as a superior and more suitable match for Leonard, and knows that Leonard wants that kind of relationship, but is too scared and too closed off to let that show or admit she would be open to try again."

"Hmm... you know, I don't think even Penny knows that."

"Bestie is a complicated, albeit stunning, woman." Amy nodded. "Who could really benefit from the use of her own Gerard to make up for the lack of sex she is receiving."

"That's... kinda gross, Amy."

"Some of us have to make do, Bernadette." Amy said seriously. "According to Sheldon, the frequency at which Leonard and Penny had coitus was consistently high while they were dating. I'm surprised she has been managing to keep herself so happy."

"Yeah, until recently, when she's just been getting drunk all the time." Bernadette pointed out. "I mean it was fun at first but I don't know how much more I can take."

"I agree. I don't think the rebellious lifestyle Penny leads is one I was born for. Perhaps we should say something to her."

"You know what she's like if we say something she doesn't like!"

"Yes, but I don't understand the need to be going out with her and watching her get drunk all the time."

"Well, I guess she'll have to calm it down eventually when she realizes she has no money left and an increased empathy for homeless alcoholics."

"You think Penny is going to become homeless? Come on, Bernadette, give her some credit. She would come and live with me."

"Well, lets not let her get to the stage where she has to live with you."

"Oh, I would have quite liked having a roomie." Amy frowned. "So, what do we tell her?"

"I don't know." Bernadette shrugged. "Next time she says we should go out, maybe we should suggest something else to do, or say we're busy."

"But what if she just goes out by herself and gets drunk?" Amy offered. "We both know that is something she would do even without company. And we can hardly ask Leonard or Sheldon to make sure she doesn't do that."

"Okay, we'll just have to think of other things to do with her." Bernadette bit her lip. "I kind of worry about her sometimes. I wish I knew what was going on in her head."

"Well if we could _just _attach electrodes-"

"Amy, I've told you many times, we are _not _attaching electrodes to Penny's head!" Bernadette said in a tone scarily similar to that of Mrs. Wolowitz's.

"You sound like Howard's mother. You spend too much time over there." Amy stood up. "I will show myself out now, if you don't mind, and take this opportunity of a failed night out to get some proper REM sleep."

* * *

Leonard sighed as he pulled back his comforter and got into bed. He was exhausted, and his eyes stung, but it was worth it. Star Wars marathons were always worth it. Heck, he already wore glasses, what did it really matter if all the hours sat staring at the screen made things worse? He smiled to himself as he turned to his side and took off his glasses.

He heard the bathroom door close, followed by footsteps, and for the shortest second he thought it was Penny. Penny, coming back to his room, having had a shower by herself because Sheldon had forbidden them to shower together when he was in the apartment. She was going to get into bed with him and tease him about how nerdy the whole evening had been, and she'd say it was boring but she didn't mean it because he saw her getting into the more intense scenes. He'd tease her about that too, and then she'd shut him up by kissing him.

But it wasn't, and he knew it was just Sheldon going back to his room, yet it didn't stop the frown on his face. He lay back on his bed, telling himself he'd just thought of that because he'd seen Penny earlier that day, and actually talking to her for the first time in a long time meant that she was still on his mind.


	34. Chapter 34

Squinting, Leonard turned to the source of the noise that had woken him up; his phone. Without checking who the caller was, he croaked out a quiet "hello?" as he pulled his glasses on.

"Leonard? You need to come over. I did something."

He groaned at the slur in Penny's voice. "What did you do?"

"I got a boo-boo."

How was he supposed to say no to her? "Okay. I'll come over."

As he hung up, he couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed at her. Why was she calling _him _at this ridiculous hour in the morning? She was the one who had kept herself away from him for so long, and now she thought it was okay to just call him in the middle of the... well, morning? He padded through his apartment and over to hers, opening the unlocked door and closing it behind him as he saw her on the couch, staring at her hand.

She looked up at him, and for a second he wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. He wanted to shout at her because she had come home sober, and now here she was, evidently drunk, and calling on him for help. He wanted to tell her that she needed to stop, take a look at herself in the mirror, and take control of her life because he wasn't the one who was supposed to be looking after her anymore, and that was her own problem.

But that anger lasted just a second. He rushed over to her, sitting down next to her, and holding her wrist in his. The neat curls that had been tied up were now knotted in a messy bun resting at her neck. The carefully applied make-up that had accentuated her features was now smudged around her eyes, and he could tell from the black lines down her cheeks that she had been crying. The black dress she had been wearing earlier was on the floor, and instead she wore a white tank top and a pair of green shorts. In front of her lay her black purse, an empty white wine bottle and an almost empty red wine bottle. In her right hand she held her phone, her left hand outstretched and trembling as blood spilled slowly from a gash, onto the broken wine glass lying on the floor beneath her.

"How did you do this?"

"I think I squeezed the glass too much." She frowned.

"Why?"

"I thought it was going to fall out of my hands and I didn't want to spill the wine!"

"Well you did that anyway by breaking it." Leonard frowned. "Come on, lets clean your hand up."

Still holding her wrist, he led her over to the kitchen sink, in slight disbelief that he was even doing this. He took out the two bowls that were in the sink and ran the cold tap, and placed her hand under the stream of water. She swayed slightly as he tore off a few bits of kitchen paper and ran them over the tap before placing them over the small gash on her palm, knowing she wouldn't have any band-aids big enough or a bandage to compress it. Not sure if he was worried or relieved at how quiet she was being, he took her back to the couch.

"Keep that compressed. Put your hand on it." He said, gesturing to the kitchen paper on her hand. She did as he said, and he thought that at least she wasn't so drunk that she couldn't follow instructions. Perhaps with the wine she'd been drinking, and her mind still functioning somewhat normally, he could ask a few questions. "I thought you came home sober earlier?"

"I did." Penny nodded. "I had one glass of wine and we left early. Then I came home and then I decided I wanted more wine, so I had more wine."

"Okay..." Leonard frowned. "Why did you drink more wine?"

She shrugged and looked at him through her drunken, make-up smudged eyes. "I felt sad. I drink wine when I'm sad."

"I know," Leonard couldn't help but chuckle a little, but he had more to focus on. "Why were you sad?"

Penny pursed her lips tightly together as she looked at him. He kept his eyes on hers, despite the strong desire to back away from her, he could smell the wine on her and on the floor, but he was determined to keep her going and get an answer. He tried to read her expression but it was difficult, until she began smiling at him, and he suddenly became confused. _She said she was sad... why is she smiling? _He furrowed his brow slightly, and suddenly she stood up, clasping her hand into a fist so the kitchen paper would stay compressed over her bleeding hand, and leaving the other one free. She hopped over to the kitchen counter, and Leonard let out a small breath of relief that she had gone round the side that didn't have broken glass on the floor. He didn't need more of that. He turned to look at her, and found her standing in front of the counter with a grin on her face, holding out a saltshaker. As she walked towards him and put the saltshaker in his hands, he furrowed his brow further, at a complete loss as to what was happening.

"Penny, what-"

"I want you," Penny interrupted loudly, holding a finger up. "To lie me down across my kitchen counter, take off my clothes, and pour a line of salt from here-" She pointed to the crevice of her throat, tilting her head back. "All the way down to here." She ran her finger down her body to a few inches below the waistband of her shorts. "And then lick it off me." She giggled and bit her lip.

Leonard couldn't deny the fact that did sound insanely appealing - his imagination ran wild for just a fraction of a second, the scenario Penny had just laid out for him playing at super speed, before he had to force his mind to remember that that would be a bad idea. She was drunk, and he was... well, sober, but tired, and he had a girlfriend. "Penny, I'm not going to do that." He said through a dry throat.

She frowned at him, and then giggled again. "I can see your nipples through your t-shirt." She grinned, and Leonard looked down at his t-shirt, cursing his decision to not put on his robe as he left, and suddenly wishing Penny would pay her heating bill. "Can you see mine?"

He blinked for a few seconds as she stretched her top over herself. "Uh," _Yes_. _No, wait, stop looking! _He averted his eyes back to her face, not having realized that they had even left her face in the first place. "No."

"Hmm. I guess it's not cold enough." Penny frowned, looking down, before back up at him. "Are you going to do anything with the saltshaker or do I have to do it myself?"

_Do what yourself? _Leonard looked down at the saltshaker in his hands, and put it down on the coffee table. "Oh, umm, no. Sorry." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to apologize; he was doing the right thing after all. He wasn't accustomed to this side of drunk Penny - though perhaps that was because the only times he had seen her like this was when they were dating, so he had just gone along with it. Now, he was very aware that they weren't, and that despite her being the one to draw a line between them before, he now had to be the one to draw a line. "I think you should go to bed now."

"Oh. Okay." Crestfallen, Penny looked around her apartment, suddenly very intent on not looking at Leonard.

"Do you need any help?" Leonard asked, wishing he wasn't so worried about her.

"No, I'll be fine." Penny started walking towards her bedroom door. "You can go. I think my hand stopped bleeding. Thank you."

Leonard watched her for a few seconds, his mind replaying their conversation, trying to work out if he had said anything that could have caused her to suddenly be so distant and abrupt with him. He was used to her having mood swings, but this was different. It was as though the chirpy, intoxicated Penny had been knocked out of her by an abnormally short and somber version of herself. He continued to rack his mind even when she had shut her bedroom door. Surely, he told himself, his refusal to lick salt off her naked body on the kitchen table wouldn't have changed her that much and that quickly. She only became like that after a _lot _more alcohol, and he was certain that telling her to go to bed wasn't something that would make her like this. He put the whole salt thing down to her being drunk, and the kitchen counter he supposed was from when they had had sex on her kitchen counter. He smirked at the memory, and looked over at the counter, before reminding himself he wasn't supposed to be thinking of that.

It was only when he saw her bedroom light shut out that he realized he was still sat on her couch. He stood up to leave, but suddenly remembered the broken glass on her floor. Not wanting to leave it there, Leonard located the dustpan and brush beneath the sink and swept it up carefully and threw it out. He left a sticky note on the coffee table, reminding her to hoover in case there were any missing bits of glass. He took a few bits of kitchen paper and soaked up what he could of the wine on the floor, and then added to the sticky note that she would have to buy some Vanish to get the stain out of the rug. Satisfied that it was now safe to leave and there was no immediate danger should she get up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, he shut out the light and closed her apartment door. He glanced back at it as he opened the door to 4A, and quickly took the spare key to 4B from the bowl and locked her door before going back. Maybe she didn't always lock her door, but it was more comforting to know she was safe in her apartment.

* * *

Sheldon frowned as he looked at the door, the source of the knocking. He looked over his shoulder to see in Leonard was coming to answer it, since Sheldon wasn't expecting any visitors, he assumed it must be for his roommate. When he heard no movement coming from down the hall, he sighed, and opened the door.

"Penny! What are you doing here? I thought you didn't talk to people before eleven in the morning?"

"Yeah, hi," Penny peered around Sheldon. "Is Leonard here?"

"I should assume so, since I heard him go to the bathroom half an hour ago and he left his cereal bowl unwashed in the sink."

"Well, can you get him?"

"Why can't you? You're the one seeking his company, not me."

"Yeah, but I don't think his girlfriend wants me in his bedroom." Penny scrunched her nose. "If they had a Relationship Agreement, that would be violating a rule."

"Oh, all right." Sheldon sighed, he couldn't argue with a Relationship Agreement, even if it was hypothetical, and coming from Penny.

He trudged down the hall and did his signature knock on Leonard's bedroom door.

"Yes, Sheldon?" Leonard yawned.

"Oh dear lord, _please _do not yawn in my direction!" Sheldon lifted his shirt over his nose. "Penny is at the door and wishes to speak to you."

Leonard put his hands up. "Sorry, sorry. Wait - Penny's here?"

"Yes, I _just _told you that!"

Leonard brushed past Sheldon, smiling slightly when he saw Penny at the door. He stepped outside with her into the hallway, shutting the apartment door behind him.

"What's up?" He said, trying to maintain a casual composure.

"Umm, I just wanted to talk about last night." Penny bit her lip. "Well, not so much talk about it, I just want to say... sorry."

"Oh... oh, that's okay." Leonard shrugged, giving her a reassuring smile. "I don't like being waken up at three in the morning but it's better than you just letting your hand bleed out."

"Yeah, but also..." Penny hesitated. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said about the whole, you know, salt thing, that was just the booze talking." She gave a nervous giggle.

"You were drunk, it's okay."

"Okay, and, Leonard, I'm sorry for... I told you I got back fine, and I did, I only had one glass. But I got back and I got upset over nothing and it was really stupid, and I _know _you worry, and dealing with me like that is the last thing you need... basically, I'm sorry."

"Oh." Leonard nodded. "I understand. Things like that happen." His mind tried to think of a way to ask her why she was drinking so much in the first place, but every way he said it in his mind made him sound too overbearing, rather than caring. "Are you... are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Penny said quickly, giving him a smile which he knew wasn't really a genuine smile. "It's just been really..." He was ready to listen to her, when she seemed to quickly change her mind. "I just wanted to apologize. And say thank you, for last night."

"No problem." He gave a half-hearted shrug accompanied with an equally half-hearted smile, once more unsure of how he was supposed to proceed with this conversation. He wanted to ask her more, but she seemed to stop herself whenever she gave any sign of sharing an answer.

"How was your Star Wars marathon?" She asked, her voice more enthusiastic now the topic had been changed.

"It was pretty great." Leonard grinned goofily. "Apart from Sheldon's remarks, he seems to find something new to complain about every time. But other than that, yeah, it was awesome."

"Good, good."

"How is your hand?"

"What? Oh!" Penny looked at her palm and then showed it to him. "It's okay as long as I don't stretch my hand out too much. I'm just going to the grocery store so I'll pick up a bandage or something."

"Good. Just don't do something like that again."

"Okay." In that moment, Leonard saw her give him a real smile - all small one, but one that expressed that she really was sorry, that she really would try, that she really meant it. He could see in her face that she knew his comment was about more than just her hand, and even though he knew she probably wouldn't stop getting drunk altogether, he knew - or at least he hoped - she would try not to go so overboard. "Thank you. I'll let you get back to your day."

"Sure." He almost leaned in to kiss her cheek, not quite sure why he had gotten caught up in that moment, and stepped back towards his door. "Okay. It was nice to talk to you, Penny."

"Yeah, you too." She smiled at him again, her real smile. "I'll see you around."

As Leonard shut his apartment door and headed back to his bedroom, he hoped that maybe now, now that they had a proper chance to speak, she would come back to the Penny that had somewhat disappeared over the last few weeks.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N - Happy Hello Kitty Monday! I really got to you guys with the whole Penny almost telling Leonard everything, it was difficult enough writing it, so I'm glad with you lots responses! I've gone back to Penny/Amy/Bernadette in this chapter but I'll most likely be back to Leonard again next chapter. Enjoy! **

* * *

Wednesday had become a 'safe night' for Bernadette and Amy, as it meant that Penny was working and therefore she wasn't insisting on going out somewhere, and that they had an actual fairly quiet evening as it was never very busy. Which is why they felt a large rush of disappointment when the manager decided to close down early, since the two girls were the only customers in and had been for over an hour. They headed back to Penny's, who sounded enthusiastic, but hadn't really looked it for well over a week, which they attributed to tiredness and perhaps - hopefully - she was almost over the whole going out and getting drunk phase of whatever was happening in her life.

They had begun watching a girly film, which had of course involved a bottle, or two, or three, of wine, and pretty soon the film was just background noise during a giggly game of Truth or Dare. Getting bored of the insane dares the girls were making her do, and forgetting she hated answering truths, Penny grinned widely as she chose truth for the first time that evening. Amy and Bernadette grinned at each other, slightly more drunk than they had anticipated being.

"I think it's Bernadette's turn to give you one!" Amy said, turning her body slightly to look at the other two.

"Okay." Bernadette squinted her eyes in thought, as Penny grinned patiently. "What _really _happened that night at Big Sur, between you and Leonard?"

"Oh! It's not really that exciting." For a moment Penny felt a wave of sadness roll through her, but within a matter of seconds the alcohol took back over and she giggled. "Well, after Sheldon left because Leonard said we couldn't promise there would be no coitus, we talked a little."

"Bo-ring!" Amy raised her eyebrows at Penny.

"I'm not at the good part yet! Anyway, after we talked, I decided it would be pretty great to have one night together - you know like when you see in movies they have this one amazing night together and it's the best - so I said to him, I said to Leonard that maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to violate the neutral zone - that's what we call the middle of the bed."

"We already know that part!" Bernadette barked, raising her wine glass. "What happened next?"

"We kissed!" Penny grinned. "But then before anything could happen, Raj came in and got in Sheldon's bed. So-o," Penny took a sip of her wine. "We cuddled in the neutral zone."

"_Bo-ring_!" Amy repeated, gulping down more of her wine in a Penny-like fashion.

"_Wait_!" Penny flicked her hair back. "So we're lying in the neutral zone and then I accidentally-on-purpose pushed my hips back into him, and did a teenie tiny moan, like this." Penny closed her eyes and relaxed her body. "_Mm._"

"Oo-ooh!" Amy and Bernadette chorused, before bursting into giggles.

"I know!" Penny opened her eyes and sat back up, grinning proudly. "And then he kissed my neck and was touching _my_ neutral zone, if you know what I mean." Penny wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh bestie, it is _not _cool to call your nether yea your neutral zone!" Amy shook her head.

"Whatever, okay, let me finish the story." Penny scoffed, before folding her legs beneath her. "So then I turned around and kissed him and we had this little competition to see who could stay silent the longest. We did _all _kinds of stuff... but no coitus. He really _is _the King of Foreplay." Penny looked down at her wine dreamily, though in her drunken state it could have easily been passed off as a drunkenly blank-minded moment.

"_Who won?_" Bernadette asked, leaning forward on the edge of her seat, legs bouncing in anticipation as he wine swirled dangerously close to the rim of the glass.

"Leonard." Penny sighed. "He did this _thing_ and... well, I had to go take a shower and finish things off myself before I could get back into bed with him." She looked up shyly from her wine. "Then he kept making fun of me all night until we fell asleep. In the morning when Raj woke up we were going to have a morning kiss but he interrupted and then we both got angry again." She looked back down at her glass and took a sip. "And that's what happened, thanks to _your _ass-y boyfriend and _your _biting!" She shot each girl a glare, respectively.

"Sorry." Amy and Bernadette hung their heads in unison.

"Ah, it's okay." Penny shrugged, causing some of her wine to spill onto her jeans without her noticing. "Anyway, Amy, it's your go!"

As Amy picked a dare and Bernadette poured another glass of wine, the girls quickly forgot about Penny's story and the fact that the whole aim had been to lessen the amount of drunken evenings. For Amy and Bernadette, they had been setting out to try make sure there wasn't as much wine involved, and for Penny, she had been trying her best to stick to her promise to Leonard that she'd not let herself get drunk like that again. But without either party knowing the aim of the other, it wasn't as easy as they had hoped it would be.

* * *

In the time it took Bernadette to roll off of Penny's bed and onto Amy's blow-up mattress next to the bed, she had cursed three things: alcohol, the decision to sleep in Penny's bed instead of the blow-up mattress, and the brains ability to stay active during sleep.

"Amy!" Bernadette prodded the neurobiologist, her brain still groggy from the alcohol and sudden awakening. "_Amy_!"

"What?" Amy's eyes flickered open, and she sat up slightly as Bernadette stared at her, wide eyed.

"Listen!"

"To what?"

"Just listen!" Bernadette whispered harshly, placing a finger to her lips, tilting her head twice to indicate that Amy look in the direction of Penny, asleep in her bed - but not soundly.

For a few seconds, they only heard the heavy breathing that was coming from Penny, accompanied by the slight rustle of her comforter as she moved a little, and Amy furrowed her brow, not sure what Bernadette looked so horrified about.

Then, just as Amy was about to ask Bernadette what they were listening to, Penny moaned loudly as she tossed her head back and threw her hands over her head. Amy's jaw dropped as she turned to Bernadette, who had pressed her hands together and was muttering what Amy quickly assumed was a prayer.

"What..." Amy began, but was interrupted by Penny moaning again as she lifted her hips slightly and dropped them back down to the mattress. "Bernadette, stop praying and help me!"

"I was hoping Jesus would make this stop!" Bernadette looked at Amy with a disturbed expression. "What am I supposed to help you with? Tell me you are not going to get into that bed with her!"

"No! I haven't even done anything with a guy, how am I supposed to know what to do with a girl?" Amy whispered inquisitively. She looked over at Penny as she let out another moan. In the light that had crept into the room, they could see a slight smile on her face, and beads of sweat across her chest. "She does look beautiful though, don't you think? So happy."

"_Amy_!" Bernadette grabbed Amy's pillow from beneath her and hit her arm with it. She looked at the pillow quickly and leant up, chucking it at Penny in the hopes it would wake her, or at least cut her dream short.

They both held their breaths as for a moment Penny fell silent, but then let out exasperated groans as she moaned louder this time and maneuvered the pillow between her legs and giggled, and moved a hand to her pajama shorts. "Mmh, Leonard!"

Wide eyed, Bernadette and Amy looked at each other before simultaneously scrambling to get off the blow up mattress and out of the room, which was made difficult by the mess of the comforter on the bouncy surface. They shut the bedroom door and sat down on the couch awkwardly.

"I don't think your prayers to a deity helped." Amy pointed out.

Bernadette shrugged. "Maybe God is as uncomfortable as we are with what just happened." She squinted her eyes at Amy and pointed an accusing finger at her. "You're the one who said I should be the one to share a bed with Penny in case I am jealous of your 'closeness' - you have scarred me, Amy!"

"I wouldn't have minded sharing part of that moment with Penny."

"_Amy_! That is _gross_!" Bernadette shuffled across the couch. They froze as they heard Penny moan Leonard's name, only muffled slightly by the closed door. Bringing her hands up to cover her ears, Bernadette frowned. "I don't want to have sleepovers with Penny anymore."

"Oh, but they're fun!" Amy whined. "I never had sleepovers when I was younger! This will be one of those funny sleepover stories!"

"She's moaning Leonard's name with a pillow between her legs, Amy, the only kind of story this is going to be is one of those you hear from traumatized mental patients!" Bernadette hissed. "The only thing worse than this is the time I spanked Howard and he shouted 'mommy!' instead of my name!"

"And now _I'm _scarred, thank you, Bernadette."

"Well I wasn't going to be the only one."

"Thank you for not leaving me out." Amy said sincerely. "That means a lot to me."

"Yeah, yeah, great." Bernadette waved a hand at Amy. "What do we do?"

"Well we can't wake her now, she's..." They covered their eyes, screwing up their faces, in an attempt to block out the louder and more frequent moans being issued from behind Penny's closed door. They waited a few minutes like this, before Amy uncovered one ear. "Okay, maybe we can wake her now."

Bernadette uncovered one ear too, and listened for a while to check it was safe. "Maybe we should just let her sleep."

"Good idea."

"I think I'm going to sleep out here though." Bernadette pulled the blanket from the backrest of the couch off and moved onto the green chair. "You know, to be safe."

"Good idea." Amy nodded, pulling off the second blanket and throwing it over herself as she lay down across the couch. "Goodnight, Bernadette."

"Goodnight, Amy. I'll pray that we get a peaceful rest of the night."

"I would actually appreciate that."

* * *

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." Bernadette and Amy grinned over at Penny from the couch as she walked out of her bedroom. Neither of them had gotten much sleep that night, though thankfully it had stayed silent.

Penny smiled at them as she walked over to the coffee machine. While they would usually have questioned this uncharacteristic morning happiness, both scientists continued to grin at her as she pulled out three mugs. "Morning, besties! Just whipping up some coffee to wipe away those hangover blues... we got through a lot of wine last night!"

"We sure did." Bernadette nodded, smirking. "Did you sleep well, Penny?"

"Mm... yeah, pretty well, actually." Penny nodded, smiling as she poured coffee into the three cups. "How about you two?"

"Could have been better." Amy nodded her head slowly. She smiled at Penny and thanked her as she accepted her coffee cup.

"Aw, that's a shame." Penny sat herself down on the green chair. "And you, Bernadette?"

"Oh, not as good as you!" Bernadette giggled from over the top of her mug.

"What?" Penny raised a brow, hoping they weren't going where they thought she was going. She felt her cheeks go slightly red even at the thought of it and she pulled her robe tighter around her body.

"We... _heard _you had a _very... _pleasing dream about Leonard." Bernadette looked over at Amy, and the pair of them burst into hysterical cackles.

"Oh _God_!" Penny managed to get out, before her jaw dropped slightly, and she stared straight ahead between the two girls on her couch, feeling herself flush red.

"Yes, we heard 'oh God' a few times." Amy said with a straight face, though upon hearing Bernadette's giggles she smirked again.

"So... was he good? Was he _dreamy_?" Bernadette wiggled her eyebrows at Penny, knowing they may be going too far, but at the same time hoping that since it was just a dream she wouldn't be too upset by it.

Penny blinked rapidly for a few seconds as her mouth moved in attempt to say something, anything, to the girls staring at her with smirks plastered across their coffee-sipping faces. "Umm..." She cleared her throat and took a sip of her coffee, wishing the floor would suddenly open up and swallow her whole. "Yeah."

"Ooh!" Amy and Bernadette clinked their mugs together and looked back at Penny.

"But it was just a dream!" Penny said quickly, finding her words again as she was shaken from her thoughts. "It's just my hormones acting up or something, or the alcohol - yeah, probably the alcohol. _Please _don't tell anyone. It's just been so long since someone was in bed with me and I was drunk and that snowflake was on my bedside table before I went to sleep and... yeah." She took another sip of her coffee. "Besides, Amy you have... _Gerard_," She winced at the name. "And Bernadette, you don't think Howard tells us everything?"

"Fair point." Bernadette nodded. "Wait, _what_? I am going to _kill _him!"

"Relax, it's nothing, you've told us these things before anyway when you were drunk, no biggie." Penny shrugged.

"Still..." Bernadette blushed, and decided to get the topic back to Penny. "So, two naughty dreams about Leonard, huh?"

"Umm..."

Amy gasped. "She's had more than two naughty dreams about Leonard!"

"_Penny_!"

"Shut up, okay!" Penny squealed, jumping up from her chair. "I haven't had sex in..." She paused, realizing if she said 'a few weeks ago' the questions would begin, and quickly thought back to the last person she had slept with before Leonard. She mentally groaned and shuddered at the thought. "I haven't had sex since I slept with Zack. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, right, Ames?" She gave Amy an awkward nod, throwing in a wink in the hopes of getting some back up.

"She's right, Bernadette." Amy nodded, and winked back at Penny. "I'm with you, sister. Evidently Zack wasn't as good in bed as Leonard - I will keep that in mind for next time. However, Penny, I would highly recommend you purchase an electric toothbrush. Perhaps it will make sleepovers less uncomfortable if these things happen when you are both conscious and alone."


	36. Chapter 36

Frowning, Leonard looked up from his pizza slice as Bernadette and Amy giggled behind their hands, casting their eyes in his direction whenever they thought he wasn't looking. They had been doing this the whole evening, and not only did it annoy Sheldon immensely, it was beginning to annoy him too.

"What's so funny?" He asked, looking over his glasses in their direction.

"Nothing." Amy smirked. "Nothing at all."

"Yeah." Bernadette gave him a nod, accompanied with a grin that bordered on creepy.

"Okay..."

"Amy, I must say, I am ashamed that you have become the kind of person who laughs without sharing the amusing topic over dinner." Sheldon shook his head.

"My apologies, Sheldon." Amy said. "Bernadette and I were just talking about... something... that we can't share."

"Why not?"

"It's about girl stuff." Bernadette flashed him an innocent grin.

"Oh, yucky." Sheldon frowned in their direction, placing his plate down on the coffee table. "I think I'm done with my pizza."

"You know what they're talking about?" Howard asked, leaning over to Leonard.

"Nope." Leonard shook his head, casting another glance as the girls burst into giggles again.

"Sorry, sorry," Bernadette cleared her throat. "Is it okay if we invite Penny over since there's pizza left over?" She directed her question at Leonard.

Figuring it would be alright since Priya wasn't there, and he felt bad for Penny being constantly excluded these days, he nodded. "Yeah, sure." He knew they were asking him because of his girlfriend, and he appreciated that, but he wished they didn't have to. _Penny should be able to have dinner with us regardless of who is or isn't here, and she shouldn't be invited just for the leftovers. _

Leonard's thoughts lingered on this matter as the two girls went to get Penny. He wanted to respect Priya's wishes, and he was trying - despite all the sex, he was trying to keep his distance from Penny. But considering the rest of the group were also her friends, and she was close with the girls, it wasn't easy, and he knew that he couldn't _always _not hang out with her. He thought that Priya should realize this too, and he wondered if she did, or if she even understood how close Penny was to the rest of the group and how much she was being isolated by Priya's request. _Here I am again, more worried about Penny than my own girlfriend... _Leonard dropped his pizza onto his plate and placed it on the coffee table, sighing. _But she's my friend too, she should get to eat pizza with me, and our friends. And it's not me who invited her anyway, it was Amy and Bernadette._

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Amy and Bernadette walked back in, followed by Penny. Trying to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat the moment he saw her, he gave her a smile. "Hey."

"Hey..." She nodded, blushing slightly, before sitting down quickly on the end of the couch and taking a plate of pizza.

Amy looked at Bernadette, and the pair looked at Penny, and quickly back down at their laps as they stifled yet another giggle fit. Leonard raised his brows, but kept his eyes on the scene as Penny looked inquisitively at each girl.

"What are you laughing at?" Penny asked through a mouthful of pizza.

Grinning, Amy leant in to whisper something in Penny's ear, which to Leonard's annoyance was drowned out entirely by Sheldon announcing that he was going to use the bathroom.

"Oh for Gods sake, seriously!" Penny waved the hand with pizza in the air in disbelief and whatever Amy had told her. "Can we _not _talk about that in front of the guys?"

"Whatever it is, they're not actually talking about it, just laughing about it," Howard rolled his eyes.

"Okay, well, good."

Leonard didn't miss the quick glance she threw his way, but he had no clue if that was just a coincidence or if it actually meant something. He tried not to focus on it, immersing himself into the newest not-so-interesting topic that Sheldon had introduced upon his return from the bathroom. It was only when he got up to clear up the plates on the table and he moved over to where Penny was sitting, Amy having vacated her seat not long ago as she had to leave, that his mind wandered back to Penny.

"You finished with your plate?" He asked, bending forwards to pick up Amy's plate and reach for Penny's.

She bit her lip slightly before answering. "Yeah."

He felt her eyes follow him as he added her plate to his stack and walked over to the sink. He said goodbye to Howard and Bernadette, and set to washing the dishes, now thinking about the workload he had to complete tomorrow.

"Are you just going to sit there?" Sheldon's voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and Leonard turned around as he dried the final plate to see him talking to Penny, who looked as though she had been slightly startled from her own thoughts. "Because I think that's breaking the rules, and I am not comfortable with having a rule-breaker in my apartment."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Penny cleared her throat, standing up. "I was just... daydreaming."

"Daydreaming?" Sheldon sighed. "No wonder nothing good is happening in your life if you waste your time daydreaming."

"Sheldon," Leonard rolled his eyes. "Just go to bed."

"But Penny is in our apartment and that's breaking the rules." Sheldon's eye began to twitch ever so slightly.

"It's fine, I'm going!" Penny put her hands up in front of her, huffing.

"_Thank _you!" Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief, before smiling at the pair. "Okay, goodnight."

Leonard watched as Sheldon walked off to his bedroom, then turned around, slightly confused but not particularly upset that Penny was still standing there.

"Well, I have to get to bed too," Leonard smiled awkwardly at her, trying to remember when it had gotten to the point that it was _weird _to have her in his apartment, at this hour, instead of normal. "Lots of work to do tomorrow, plus Sheldon has to go in early."

"Oh, sure, yeah," Penny giggled nervously, but still didn't move. "Umm, thanks for the pizza."

"No problem." Leonard shrugged.

"And sorry about Amy and Bernadette," She sighed. "They weren't laughing at you, they just... found something _really _funny when it isn't really that funny."

"That's okay." Leonard smiled, as an idea popped into his mind. "Hey, what were they laughing about?"

"Nothing!" Penny blurted quickly - so quickly he knew it wasn't nothing, but knew not to ask anything further, so he left the conversation open for her. "It was just, uh..."

He looked at her curiously as she bit her bottom lip, staring at him without blinking. "Penny?"

"Mm." She blinked and shook her head slightly. "Sorry, I - yeah, I'm just going." Turning hastily to open the door, she grinned back at him. "Thanks for the pizza, and stuff."

Still not particularly sure about what had just happened with her, Leonard chuckled to himself as she left the apartment. As he washed up for the night, he wondered if the lack of time they spent together nowadays was actually making things _weird _between them. He thought about the previous months, when things seemed more natural between them, despite the still unexplained, spontaneous, but not unappreciated sex - that should have been awkward, he thought, but it wasn't. They still went around their lives fine, and could have a normal conversation that didn't leave the other too confused or uncomfortable. Now that they weren't seeing that much of each other anymore, seeing her seemed... different. Maybe it was _because _the sex had stopped, he thought, and they had time now to think about why it had been happening in the first place, that things seemed more awkward. He had no idea what was going through her mind, or whether she felt the difference too, but it bothered him. They had always been close friends, despite their differences they had always gotten along easily. And now it was like they just didn't know what to say to each other, as though they didn't know how to be just friends anymore.

Putting his toothbrush back in the holder, he noticed Priya's toothbrush there too, the one she kept in his apartment even when she wasn't there. He wondered if maybe his time apart from Penny was giving her time to fully accept that he was in a relationship with Priya. Despite what Penny said about being okay with it, and insisting that she didn't have a problem with Priya, he figured she was probably at least a little more upset by it than she let on to him. He didn't blame her; he had been upset enough about seeing Penny with Zack and that wasn't even really a relationship. _She must have some kind of issue with it, she's the one who initiated the sex the first time, _Leonard frowned to himself, hanging up his robe on the back of his door. _Huh, a physicist with a girlfriend and a... an ex-girlfriend who still wants the sex. Take that everyone who made fun of me in school!_

Rolling his eyes at his own thoughts, he shut out his night light. He knew that he was never going to figure out what was going on with Penny, when he couldn't even figure out what was going on with _him_. Every time he tried to give it some thought, he went back to Penny. Rolling onto his side, he tried to empty his mind of these thoughts, knowing he wasn't going to make any startling relationship-based discoveries now, be it on his own part or Penny's.

* * *

"I think Amy has picked up too many bad habits from Penny." Sheldon frowned as he looked down at his tray of food.

"What?" Leonard looked up from his surprisingly tasty cafeteria salad.

"She purchased the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine." Sheldon sighed.

"Ooh, I sometimes read Bernie's copy, there are some _good _sex tips in there." Howard grinned, shaking his head slightly in amusement. "Good times."

"I read it too, and that has physically disturbed me." Raj frowned, throwing down his slice of cucumber.

"What, Sheldon brought it up." Howard argued. "I was just adding to the conversation. Why do _you _read it anyway?"

"So I know what to talk about with girls, obviously." Raj replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You can't _talk _to girls!" Howard pointed out.

"Yes, but when I'm drunk, I can!"

"Yeah, great," Leonard rolled his eyes. "You both read a girls magazine. What was your point, Sheldon?"

"My point was that Penny has turned Amy into somebody who reads about orgasms that are not caused by stimulation of the brain."

"I don't think that's Penny's fault." Leonard bit back a laugh.

"Ah, actually, it is." Sheldon put his fork down. "Before becoming uncomfortably close with Penny, she only understood the meaning of the _adjective_ 'cosmopolitan' - now she uses the word in reference to the alcoholic beverage and magazine."

"If you were _normal_, you would thank Amy for reading that magazine." Howard chuckled. "But since issues about 'the big O' will do nothing to help your relationship..."

"The big O?" Sheldon raised a brow. "Is that a new term for oscillation?" Raj, Howard and Leonard looked at each other and burst into a fit of laughter, Sheldon looking at them in confusion. "What? What's so funny about oscillation?"

"Oh, _please _at your next lecture refer to oscillation as 'the big O'!" Leonard begged, smirking.

"Well, I do like to keep up with the times." Sheldon nodded. "Ah, the big O." He let out one of his strange, breathy laughs, in attempt to join in with the laughter coming from his three friends, which he still didn't quite understand.

After a few minutes they calmed down and returned to their food, still grinning at the idea, before Sheldon brought up his original point again.

"Amy was giggling about an article she read in Cosmopolitan about girls who have coitus-related dreams." Sheldon stated matter-of-factly.

Leonard almost spat his water out at this, suddenly remembering Penny drunkenly telling him about her dream about him. He had, somehow, completely forgotten about it. He smirked slightly to himself, impressed that he could do that to a woman.

"Bernie said something about that too, actually." Howard said with a frown. "I didn't know girls have those too, I've had so many, but never heard that _girls _have them... I'll have to ask Bernadette. Bet she has them about me after the stuff we did the other night..."

"Again, disturbed." Raj put yet another cucumber slice down.

Leonard's eyes widened slightly. _Is that what they were laughing about the other day when we were having pizza? _It sort of made sense and linked together, but he couldn't be sure. Penny had told him about it, she had told the girls to stop laughing about _something_, and she hadn't told him _what _they were giggling about, but Amy and Bernadette _had _been looking at him with amused - and slightly creepy - grins... _Though, that doesn't seem like something Penny would tell anyone... _

"Did she say _why _she was reading the article?" Leonard asked, hoping he didn't sound too curious on the subject.

"Probably for personal reasons. I wouldn't blame her if my unbelievable intelligence got her motor running." Sheldon said proudly.

"Ooh, so you think about Amy doing the dream-nasty?" Howard teased.

"No, it's just a conclusion I came to based on known facts." Sheldon pointed out.

_Okay, I am getting nowhere with this... _Leonard frowned, zoning out of the conversation his friends were having. As he knew he wasn't going to outright ask Amy or Bernadette about why they were laughing, and that they likely wouldn't tell him anyway, he settled on them probably giggling about something else. _Though I won't rule out the dream._

* * *

"Penny, have you read the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine?"

"Do you guys just not say 'hi' anymore when you come over?" Penny stepped back to let Amy and Bernadette into her apartment, closing the door behind her. "And no, I haven't. Why?"

"There's an interesting bit about sex dreams." Bernadette giggled, taking a seat in the kitchen. "We thought you might make use of it."

"Ugh, are we _still _on that?" Penny moaned, dragging herself to the kitchen behind Amy. "It was bad enough you guys laughing about it the other day in front of Leonard. You know he asked me why you were laughing?"

"Did you tell him?" Amy's eyes widened with excitement as she sat down on the kitchen chair next to Bernadette.

"No!" Penny let out an exasperated sigh. "It's bad enough I told him the first time, I think I'll save myself the embarrassment of telling my ex-boyfriend that my best friends actually saw and _heard _me having... a dream!"

"Wait, _what_?" Bernadette slammed her hands onto the counter.

"Excuse me?" Amy's jaw dropped.

_Crap. _"Umm..."

"_You told him the first time_?"

"Uh..."

Amy quickly got up and walked around the counter and grabbed a bottle of wine and three glasses. She filled one up for Penny first, who took it eagerly and gulped half of it down in one go. Pouring some into the other two, she went back to her seat and each girl took a sip before Penny leant forwards on the counter, staring at her glass of wine.

"Come on, bestie, spill."

"Okay, I was... _really _drunk, but sadly not drunk enough to forget what had happened." Penny pouted her lips together for a moment. She could practically feel her friends breaths being held as they waited. "Somehow I ended up at Leonard's and... yeah. I told him that I had a naughty dream about him and, to make it all worse, I told him I had sex with myself and that it wasn't as good as it was with him."

As Penny took a gulp of wine with her eyebrows raised high, Amy spat her wine out in shock, spraying it on the counter in front of her.

"Interesting, I've never done that before." Amy looked at her glass curiously. "Must be the element of shock."

"I'm sorry, did you say you told him you..." Bernadette paused, looking at Penny in shock, before bursting into a fit of giggles, which prompted Amy to break out into laughter too.

"Oh my God, guys, look, can we _please _not talk about that!" Penny whined, stepping away from the counter to go sit on the couch. "I apologized to him and we're over it, okay, I don't need to remember it!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Bernadette came over to sit next to her on the couch. "It's just... funny."

"Yeah, well, not for me."

"Oh, bestie, please don't be mad at us," Amy ran over to sit on the other side of Penny, frowning. "It's okay, we're in the same boat, making do and dreaming about men who have made themselves unattainable."

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. Leonard is _not _unattainable. I mean, he is, since he has a girlfriend, but I am not trying to _attain _him." Penny jumped off the couch, taking a sip of wine to gulp down the lie. "He's just the last guy I was with... apart from Zack, who doesn't really count because that was only one time and it wasn't even that good." She hoped her moment of hesitation hadn't been noticed by the girls and took another sip of wine. "That's not the same boat, Amy. Totally different boats. Got it?"

"You're right, I'm sorry, just please don't be mad at us."

"I'm not mad at you." Penny sighed, sitting back down on the couch. "I just don't want to talk about _that _anymore."

"That's okay." Bernadette gave a small nod. "Shall we put on a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure." Penny shrugged. "I'm gonna need more wine though."

Amy and Bernadette gave each other a nervous look as Penny got up once more to bring over the open bottle, along with an unopened one.

"Oh, I can't really drink much tonight, I have to drive home." Bernadette gave her a small smile as she placed the bottles on the coffee table, before heading to her stack of DVDs.

"Yes, and I have a meeting in the morning, so I can't drink much either." Amy added, thanking whoever was in charge of organizing that meeting for giving her a reason without having to lie.

"That's okay, all the more wine for me!" Penny smiled. "Ooh, how about 'Love Actually'? Gotta love that film."

* * *

**A/N - I wanted to put the film they decide to watch as 'Friends with Benefits' but that didn't come out till like two/three months after this fic & season is set! Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter, and that you found it funny, it's always risky writing comedy so thank you, really appreciated those comments! Sorry this took so long to update, I will do my best to update Monday as usual :) **


	37. Chapter 37

"Oh, hey guys, I wasn't expecting you, come in." Penny smiled, stepping back slightly to let Amy and Bernadette in.

"No worries, P-dawg, we just came by to give you this." Amy held out a gift bag.

Penny looked at the two girls curiously as she accepted the bag. "Umm... thanks?"

"We saw it and thought we'd buy it for you as a gift." Bernadette grinned.

"Okay..." Brow raised, Penny took off the little sticker closing the bag together and looked inside. She gasped, jaw dropping, and shut the bag again, looking up at the two girls. "_Seriously_?"

"By the way, when we say 'we saw it', we meant in an article in Cosmopolitan, and when we say 'buy it' we mean we ordered it online." Bernadette giggled.

"_Seriously?_" Penny repeated.

"To make things easier and less awkward for you, we have decided to call it a 'chew toy' since Sheldon saw the article in the magazine and asked Leonard why a women's magazine would write an entire article dedicated to dogs toys." Amy explained with an amused nod.

"_Seriously_?" Penny reiterated, pulling the apparently named chew toy out of the bag. "You think _this _is an appropriate, casual gift you buy someone? I mean, you seriously went online and ordered me a-"

Penny went from outraged to complete embarrassment in less than a second as she saw Leonard walk out of his apartment. Mouth open half way through speech, gift in hand, she froze completely, wishing the ground would swallow her whole and cursing her bad timing. Her skin suddenly felt so hot she was pretty certain she was going to burst into flame, and if she was honest with herself, she would prefer that to the silence in the hallway as time appeared to stop moving completely.

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other, biting down grins. "Hey Leonard."

"Oh, hey," Leonard gave them a quick smile, locking his door. As he turned back around, he raised a brow in confusion as he saw Penny holding her present. "What is th- _oh_." His eyes widened.

_Say something, anything, _Penny urged her mind, still frozen. Leonard's expression wasn't helping, and she mentally kicked herself, trying to get the words 'the girls just bought this for me as a joke' out of her mouth to make the situation slightly better, but they just wouldn't. _Now would be a good time to combust. Oh my God, I just used the word combust while holding a... a chew toy, in front of my ex-boyfriend. _

"O-kay, well, I'm just gonna go," Leonard backed away towards the stairs with an awkward smile, then turned and hurried down them quickly.

Once his footsteps had faded, Penny felt her body slouch over as she groaned, shooting the two girls a glare. "Well, if you will excuse me, I have to go book flights to a continent where nobody knows me."

With that, Penny shut her door on the girls, hearing them giggle briefly before the sound of their footsteps heading down the stairs too. She chucked the bag down by the door, which she locked, and looked down at her new gift.

"Yup, that was literally the worst moment of my life." She squinted at the directions on the back. "And the worst gift I have ever received in my entire life. And Leonard just _had _to appear the moment I got it out the bag." Biting her lip, she looked up at her bedroom door. "Oh, who am I kidding..." Tearing the packaging open, she rushed to her bedroom, seriously wondering why she hadn't considered this before.

* * *

Despite the awkward tension that had been evident moments ago as he saw Penny, Leonard couldn't help but grin to himself as he drove to Cal Tech, purposely taking the longest route he knew. Everything fit together now, well, not _everything _- but the whole giggly, lip-biting, dirty dream situation had finally fit together in his mind. Turning up the radio and bopping his head along to the beat, Leonard allowed himself to think over the links leading to the conclusion yet again. He was a scientist, after all, he had to double-check everything.

_Penny had a sex dream about me. Me, of all the guys in the world! Take that Ryan Gosling, and all the actors out there. And all the guys Penny ever dated. Suckers_. Leonard chuckled to himself. _The girls found out about it and that's why they were so giggly and Bernadette had that really creepy smile, and Amy was reading Cosmopolitan, one of Penny's favorite magazines, and Sheldon found it open on the... oh, hell, chew toy. Of all the things to call it, that's what he thought it was, and it stuck. _Shaking his head, Leonard turned his music up further. _Then the girls bought Penny a freakin' chew toy, because they knew she had a dirty dream about me... yeah, that's right, me... because in Cosmopolitan they're always writing about 'reaching the big o' and this must have been one of the ways. _He grinned proudly into his rear view mirror before fixing his eyes back on the road. _And then Penny saw me while she was holding it and, well, that's just awkward, knowing people know about that kind of stuff..._

As he pulled into a parking space, he grinned once more to himself in the mirror. "Excellent work, Hofstadter."

With a spring in his step, he got out of his car and headed into the building, beaming at everybody he passed on his way over to his office. He didn't even mind right now that he had had to go in to pick up some papers to look over during the weekend. He sat down in his office, placing his phone on the desk, and picked up the stack on papers in his 'IN' tray. Slightly overwhelmed by how much he had been given to look over, he began to read over the note that had been left on top, before turning to have a look over the first page to get an idea of what he would be checking over this weekend.

Having become somewhat engrossed in the papers, which actually had some interesting ideas in them, it was almost an hour later than Leonard's phone buzzed with a message. He blinked as he saw the time at the top of his phone, quickly straightening up the papers as he slid the phone in front of him. He smirked as he saw the sender was Penny, and unlocked his phone to read the message.

_**So sorry about earlier. Bernie and Amy thought it would be funny to buy me that for some reason. Probably Amy's idea since she has started reading Cosmo and keeps suggesting I get my own 'Gerard'... you looked kinda freaked out, so thought I thought I'd clear that up so I can actually show my face in the future! X**_

Leonard smirked. _Yeah... 'for some reason', sure. _Despite how smug he felt at that moment, he knew from Penny's earlier expression that this wasn't something he should tease her about, and it was an issue he wasn't supposed to be involved in.

_**That's ok. It just wasn't the sight I was expecting when I left my apartment. Sheldon said Amy was reading Cosmo and he blames you but he is going to refer to 'oscillation' as 'the big o' because he doesn't know what it means... so thank you for future amusement! (If it's not in your physics book, oscillation is part of simple harmonic motion.) It's ok, I won't judge you or your 'chew toy' as Sheldon calls it, you can show your face! :) x**_

Pleased with his response, he hit send. He sighed inwardly as he realized he'd managed to get some nerdy comment about physics into a text not at all related to the subject. _I haven't changed one bit. _He shook his head, and stood, picking up his bag to place the papers in it.

"Leonard?"

"Priya!" Leonard looked up from his bag, which he was just closing, shocked at the sudden appearance of his girlfriend. _Shit. How did I forget... yup, I'm an ass. _"How did you know I was here?"

"Raj picked me up but we had to come back because he left his phone. We saw your car outside so I thought I'd come down here and see you!" Priya grinned, leaning on the edge of his desk.

"Oh... oh, well, that's great!" Leonard smiled, hoping he didn't look as flustered as he felt. _Seriously, Leonard, what the hell is wrong with you. More obsessed over Penny and her chew toy than your own girlfriend. _"I just came by to pick up some papers they want me to look over this weekend."

"That sounds fun." Priya raised a brow as she watched Leonard shut his bag.

"I had a look over them, they don't look too bad. Some of the topics in there are quite interesting!"

Priya opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by a message alert coming from Leonard's phone. She glanced down at the screen, and then back up at Leonard with an unimpressed look plastered all over her face.

"Penny texted you." Priya stated. "How come she texted you?"

"Umm..." Leonard looked down at his phone, lips pursed. The one time he needed his mind to overthink something to find an answer that wasn't "my ex girlfriend has a chew toy for personal use given to her by her best friends who know she had a dream about me", was the one time it went completely blank.

In his panicked state, he hadn't realized Priya picking up his phone in attempt to read the message. As he saw her out of the corner of his eye, he felt himself freeze, and for a moment he felt exactly the way Penny had looked when he had left his apartment. And then, somebody answered his prayers. "Did you change your passcode?"

"What?" Leonard blinked.

Priya turned his phone to face him. "I tried it a bunch of times but it's just disabled your phone. Did you change it?"

"Oh!" Leonard silently thanked Sheldon for working out his passcode, which had prompted him to change it this morning. "Yeah, yeah, I had to."

"Did you change it so that I wouldn't be able to read the messages Penny is sending you?" Priya pushed the phone into his hands, her voice uncomfortably even.

"No! No, no! Sheldon worked it out so I changed it this morning." Leonard grinned, pleased that he could at least answer one of his girlfriends questions with the truth.

"What does it matter if anybody knows your passcode? Are you hiding something on your phone?"

"I'm not hiding anything on there, it's just... you know what Sheldon's like... he'll probably tell Howard and then he'll do something stupid with it and... I don't want that," Leonard said, mentally kicking himself. His good mood from earlier had transformed into severe dislike of himself for lying to Priya... and also for Priya's presence stopping him from reading Penny's message, which added to his dislike for himself. "Look, I don't know what Penny has text me." _Well, that's partially true, I don't know what that exact text message says but I know what it's about. _He looked up at Priya, and upon noticing her still unconvinced expression, he sighed. "I'll just ignore that message. Okay? We'll just go back to my apartment and we'll ignore it."

Priya looked at him skeptically for a moment, before finally relaxing and putting her hands up as she stood up and walked to the door. "Fine."

Grabbing his bag and pulling it over his shoulder, Leonard sighed. Pocketing his phone, he wished he could just read the text from Penny, his desire to read it heightened by the fact that he _wouldn't _be able to read it for a while, until Priya wasn't around, and he found himself desperate to see what Penny had to say. As he left his office and shut the door, he found himself torn between how much he was loving the fact that there were two women in his life who were interested in him sexually - which was two more than he had ever expected, and hating how he felt this need to please the both of them.

* * *

Having made good use of her gift, which she had decided was most _definitely _a gift, Penny was in a far better mood for the rest of the day than she had been in months. Not even bumping into Priya in the lobby could dampen her newly found pleasure.

"Oh, hey!" Penny grinned, turning around from her mailbox.

"Hello." Priya gave her a small smile.

"How are things going with you?" Penny asked cheerfully, walking over to Priya.

"Fine." Priya took the smallest of steps backwards, slightly uncomfortable with Penny's sudden need to start a conversation with her with such optimism. "You?"

"Me? Oh, I'm doing great! It's been a good day!"

"Good, good." Priya nodded. "How come you text Leonard earlier?"

"Oh!" Penny shrugged, not phased by the question, but slightly startled by the realization that she needed an answer that wasn't related to her chew toy. Luckily, her mind was quick to come up with an answer. "One of his physics journal things of his was delivered to me yesterday by accident and I found it under my magazine earlier so I thought I'd let him know."

Priya breathed a sigh of relief which lightened her entirely; she felt herself relax as a smile fell across her face. "_Oh_! Okay, great!"

"Yeah, sure, I guess?" Penny shrugged, chucking a few circulars into the trash can by the door. "You know, we should get coffee some time."

"Umm, sure, that sounds nice." Priya nodded with a smile. She was certain that that was the first sincere, genuine smile she had given Penny since they had met. "I would like that."

"Great, well, we'll organize something next time, I'll let you get back to Raj's before it gets too late and there's no cabs!"

With a quick, cheerful goodbye, the two girls parted ways. Penny couldn't stop herself from grinning, and reminded herself to thank Amy and Bernadette in a subtle way for what they had given her.

* * *

Finally alone, Leonard pulled his phone out of his pocket as he headed into his bedroom, shutting the door before sitting down on his bed and clicking on his and Penny's text conversation, which held the message he had been waiting to read all evening.

_**Well I will have to have a look in my physics book and see if it mentions oscillation, i'll let you know :) If you seriously convinced sheldon to say 'the big o' in a physics lecture then you are definitely a genius and have to invite me to that lecture! Yeah amy is a bit obsessed, bless her, i guess she never read these things before - Sheldon is in for a real treat ha! And hey, you just forget about me and my chew toy or i'll tell you one of amy's stories about gerard. x**_

Chuckling at Penny's threat at the end of the message, he read over the text again. He was beyond pleased that Penny was going to look up in her book if oscillation was mentioned - he loved that she had taken an interest in physics, even if she still didn't understand it. The lecture, if he knew when it was happening in advance, he decided he would definitely invite her, since Priya never went with him anyway and Penny would appreciate the humor.

But it was the part at the very end which got him. '_You just forget about me and my chew toy' _- what was that supposed to imply? He frowned, maneuvering himself so that he was sitting up in his bed, leaning against the headboard. _Does that mean she's actually using it? _He looked up from his phone with a raised brow as he considered this, then shook his head quickly to rid himself of the thought with a slight smirk. He decided it could simply be that she wanted him to forget about it because it was embarrassing for her, which he completely understood, and made a lot of sense. The whole thing revolved around a subject that was a very personal matter, which had somehow reached himself, Amy and Bernadette, and Penny was never one for sharing anything too close or personal to her. _Though it's her own fault I know about it. She's the one who showed up drunk at my door and told me. _He knew her well enough to know that despite making jokes about it, she was probably uncomfortable with it, and just wanted to pretend it hadn't happened - just like the time she had mentioned the dream in the first place. What she did with it, was none of his business.

* * *

Hearing the knock at her door which announced Amy and Bernadette's arrival, Penny frowned as she looked around her bedroom. Wishing she had actually tidied it up earlier instead of getting distracted by dancing around to her newly created iTunes playlist whilst singing into her hair brush, she quickly threw her comforter over her bed.

"I'm coming!" She yelled, as she picked up her chew toy from the nightstand. "Well, not in _that _way..." She giggled.

"Hurry up and unlock the door, I need to pee!" Bernadette yelled through the door.

Panicking, Penny jumped around her room, trying to think of somewhere to hide the object in her hand. She was desperate to stick to her 'this is a stupid, inappropriate gift' story, because she knew if the girls knew she had used it, there would be more questions than she wanted to answer - and she certainly wasn't ready for more tips from Amy that she had picked up from her use of Gerard. As Bernadette knocked on the door furiously, Penny sighed and chucked the chew toy into the back of her closet, at a loss of where else to hide it. She grimaced as she heard it hit the back of the wall and found herself desperately hoping that she hadn't just broken it. She rushed over to open the door and stood back to let them in.

"What took you so long!" Bernadette threw over her shoulder as she practically ran through to the bathroom.

"Were you using your chew toy?" Amy asked, grinning. "That's what delays me from answering my door."

Penny frowned as she sat down on the couch, wide-eyed. "Okay, _eww. _And no, I wasn't! I thought I told you we weren't going to be talking about that anymore!"

"My apologies. I just thought it would relieve some of your tension." Amy sat down next to Penny on the couch. "It helps."

"Yeah, well, no thank you." Penny gave her an awkward nod. "How about we just pick a movie?"

"Simply, I brought one over that I bought yesterday." Amy reached into her bag and pulled out a DVD case. "_No Strings Attached_."

"Ooh, I haven't seen that!" Penny took the case from Amy and got up to put the disc in, flipping it over to read the description on the back. "A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more." Penny nodded slowly, smirking to herself as she turned around to open the disc tray. _Sure sounds like my kind of film._

* * *

**A/N - Thank you Tensor for the 'No Strings Attached' suggestion! Ok, where Leonard texts about oscillation - I was going to make it more nerdy but I couldn't make sense of what I found on google. If you have tumblr and read my post I googled 'define oscillation' and it came up with 'the process of oscillating between states' which didn't help one bit so I just had to leave it at that. I know as much about physics as Penny does. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I wrote it all yesterday (and a bit on Friday) - Saturday I worked 16 hours and then did 4 hours of tennis training yesterday so I am knackered, which works out well for writing as it means I just laze around with my laptop! So, Happy Hello Kitty Monday - enjoy the sunshine lovelies and let me know what you think! I will be with my two guys, Ben & Jerry, in my garden, writing out my next chapter which I am really looking forward to writing :) **


	38. Chapter 38

"I think something that will help a lot of you with this particular scene, to draw some true expression into your character, will be some emotional recall." Violet, the teacher of Penny's acting class, announced as everybody looked up from their scripts. "She is blissfully content, happy, and in love with this man, but she doesn't understand it yet. To truly get this scene, I need you to show me that raw happiness. Now, boys, I want you to do this too, and use what you find for your part. If we share some of these memories and emotions, we can build the characters past based on your own experiences."

Penny sighed as she stood along with the rest of her class and placed her script on the chair. She wasn't much a fan of emotional recall, though she was glad that this time it would be happy memories as opposed to 'think back to a time you felt alone' - something she had decided _not _to share with her class. Finding an empty space, she lay down on the floor, giggling as her eyes met her friends; there was always something amusing about just lying on the floor.

"Close your eyes, calm down, and focus on your breathing."

As the lights were shut off, Penny closed her eyes and did as Violet had instructed. After a few seconds, she peeked an eye open to check that she wasn't the only one with her eyes closed. Satisfied, she shut them again, and resumed training her mind on her steady breathing, trying not to think about how uncomfortable the floor was.

"Breathe in for eight counts..." There was a pause as the gentle sound of breath slowly being taken in was heard through the room. "And out for eight counts..." Another pause, as this time a slow exhale echoed through around the floor. The process was repeated a few times, and Penny felt pleasantly light before they moved on to the next stage. "Relax your muscles. Open your mouth as wide as you can... and scrunch up your face." If she hadn't just become so relaxed, Penny would have felt ridiculous, but she immediately felt the tension in her face fall away. "Shrug your shoulders up to your ears... and back down. Let the weight sink into the ground. Stretch your fingers and arms out... clench your fist. Relax your hands. Point your toes, stretching your legs and lengthening your spine. Elongate your body. Now exhale that tension, and relax." Soothed by Violet's quiet voice, Penny relaxed her body, much more comfortable on the floor now. As they did another round of counted breathing, she felt a calming peace throughout her body. "Now, think back to a time you felt at your happiest, with someone you love, so content and grateful - but a love that you only see now, which you weren't aware of then."

Penny did so, a memory easily flooding through her mind and her body as a light smile formed on her face.

"Remember how you felt when you looked at their face," Violet guided the class calmly. "Were you smiling? Did you hug them, or kiss them? Maybe you stared at them, following them with your eyes. Remember how your body reacted," Violet continued. "Perhaps your heart rate sped up slightly, or you felt butterflies in your stomach. Did you have a need to touch them, or tell them something, or thank them? Did you feel in control?" As there was another pause, Penny felt the exact feelings of her memory begin to replicate in the present. "In the scene, she is in his home; her happy place. Where were you? Picture the location. If you were inside, remember the objects in the room, where you were sat. What is it about this specific place that makes you feel happy? If you were outside, remember the smell, and what made that place special, were there other people around? Was it a familiar place?"

As Violet continued to prompt their memories, Penny almost forgot that she was lying on the floor of her acting class, and was slightly surprised when they went back to their breathing exercise and were asked to sit up. She couldn't help but smile; for the first time, she'd finally understood the effect of this Stanislavski guys techniques and how it was meant to work. When the teacher asked who wanted to share, she put her hand up immediately, still in a little trance.

"Penny?"

Grinning, Penny sat up a little taller as her classmates turned to look at her.

"As you all know, I work at The Cheesecake Factory, which is just fantastic." She giggled along with her friends at this statement. "I had a really crappy day at work, I was tired and it was really busy and I had some real nasty customers. Plus, my boss yelled at me for something that wasn't even my fault. So when I got back, I went to my boyfriends apartment - Leonard lives across the hall from me." She smiled to herself. "He wasn't home yet so I tried to cook something because I was hungry, but I suck at cooking so it burnt and I got upset over that. He came back and asked me what was wrong so I told him. It was kind of stupid, because I'm just a waitress and he's an experimental physicist so his work is way more stressful than mine is, but he did the sweetest things." She grinned as she traced patterns on the floor with her pointer finger. "He ordered us Chinese food, and made sure to ask for a fortune cookie, because he knows I love them. We watched Sex and the City, even though he doesn't like it, and he massaged my feet because I said they really hurt. We had a bit of wine while we ate - he never usually has wine in his apartment, but he always had some for me when we started dating. It was such a lovely night, we cuddled up on his couch, and just watched television. It was perfect. Then when we were getting ready for bed, I said I had to work tomorrow, so he got his cello out and played me some songs to cheer me up, and even sung along to some of them." Penny giggled and blushed slightly at the memory. "And then he just cuddled me until I fell asleep. He managed to put a smile on my face even though I felt like crap, he was always good at doing that, but that night was just extra special." She raised a shoulder slightly to her ear as she smiled shyly around the room. "We're not together anymore but when I look back, it was one of the happiest moments, and it was the little things he did, like that night, that made me fall in love with him. I wish I had told him that, that I love him, but I like to think he always knew."

As the girls gushed and 'aww'-ed at what Penny had shared with them, Violet grinned. Penny didn't often share personal things, or volunteer to contribute ideas that came from personal experience. It was a wonderful step for her to willingly share this with her class, and she always felt a sense of pride when one of her students made a step forward. "That was lovely, Penny - just the kind of thing I was looking for. While you're still in that memory, why don't you give the scene a shot?"

"Really?" Penny's eyes lit up; she wasn't often chosen to show a scene. "Okay, sure!"

"Mark, you can be her scene partner." Violet nodded to one of the guys, and the class moved back to their seats to form an audience. "Now, remember Penny, I want you to use exactly what you just told us - every little thing there, and the things you didn't describe but felt - put that into every word you say."

* * *

As she packed up her script and pulled her jacket on, Penny realized this was the first time she had finished one of her acting classes feeling like she had accomplished something. Violet had been amazed at how Penny had worked the scene after the exercise, and if she was honest, Penny was too. Using her memory, she finally understood the character and what she was saying, and it didn't seem forced or unreal. In their last lesson, Violet had told her 'don't just pretend to be her, _actually _become her' - and while she had initally scoffed at the idea of this - after all, acting was pretending, how was she supposed to physically become a made-up person? - today she understood what the problem had been in the first place.

"Hey, Penny?"

Penny looked up from her phone, which she had taken from her bag and switched back on. "Hey, Mark! Thanks for doing the scene with me. It was so good."

"Yeah, you were brilliant." Mark grinned, leaning one hand on the chair. "So, you said you're not with this Leonard guy anymore, right?"

"Mm, no," Penny sighed, pretty sure she knew where this was going.

"Okay, great, so, would it be okay to go out for coffee some time, or something?"

Penny bit her lip awkwardly. "I'm sorry... it's not you, Mark, I'm just not at that point where I can start seeing other people again. Sorry."

"Oh," Mark shrugged nervously. "Okay, that's fine, no big deal." He gave her a small smile. "Well, I'll see you next week. Great work, Penny."

* * *

"Oh my God!" Penny practically bounced when she saw Leonard in the lobby. "Leonard, guess what?"

Leonard raised a brow, but grinned at the excitement in her voice. "What? Did you have another one of those hot dogs?"

"No! Ooh... but that would be good." Penny paused to consider this. "That would be pretty exciting."

"Yeah, for the hot dog." Leonard smirked. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to even bring it up, but he couldn't help himself.

"Shut up," Penny rolled her eyes. "You're becoming worse than me."

"Nuh-uh!" Leonard shook his head. "Okay, what are you so excited about?"

"Well, we were doing some Stanislavski emotional recall for a scene, and the teacher asked _me _to do the scene, and she said I really did a fantastic job! Like, a genuine compliment!" Penny squealed. "I'm not a terrible actress!"

"Wow, that's great!" Leonard pulled her in for a quick hug, pride flowing through him. He knew this was a big deal for Penny - he had no idea who Stanislavski was, or what emotional recall really consisted of, but just like when he told Penny something about physics and she knew it was important because she didn't understand it, he could, too, tell that this was something significant. "I'm proud of you, well done."

"Thanks!" Penny grinned into him.

He pulled back from the hug, reminding himself to keep it more on the friendly side. He hated himself for doing it, the feeling of her against him felt so right, but he knew he had to before he turned it into anything more.

"You know, maybe I'll go get a hot dog to celebrate. Small achievement, small reward." She giggled. "Wanna come with?"

_Yes_. Leonard found that, in that moment, the idea of going with Penny and watching her eat a hot dog, was immensely appealing. He blamed the chew toy; ever since he had seen her with it and let the thought of her using it cross his mind for the shortest of seconds, it kept flitting back into his mind.

And that was exactly why he responded with a sad "no." He could recall all too clearly what had happened last time, and the chew toy situation did nothing to calm his imagination. Realizing how abrupt his answer must have sounded, he shook his head. "I mean, I can't, I'm on my way to meet Priya." _And she would not be happy if she could see what was going on in my mind right now. _

"Oh, okay." Penny shrugged. "I'll just get one on my own."

_Oh I'm sure you will. _Leonard cleared his throat, quickly remembering something that diverted his attention. "Hey, Priya said you suggested the two of you go out for coffee some time."

"Yeah, is that okay?" Penny asked. "Did she bitch about the fact that that would involve spending time with just me?"

"Actually, she was pretty happy with the idea." Leonard grinned. He wasn't sure what exactly had caused Penny to ask his girlfriend to hang out over coffee, or why his girlfriend had accepted that offer, but he sure as hell wasn't going to question it. Perhaps they would be able to get along as friends, he thought once they pushed past the awkwardness and dislike they would actually get on quite well. "I'm so glad you both want to try be friends. I'd really like that."

Penny looked at Leonard for a moment. He seemed so glad that she was trying to get on with Priya, that she actually felt guilty about her invitation to hang out being induced by the euphoria brought on by her chew toy. She had thought about not following it through, and just avoiding Priya. But the grin on his face, the happiness in his eyes that the two might end up not hating each other, made her actually want to be friends with Priya. Not for herself as a way of finally trying to get over him, not for Priya to show that she was okay with her, but for Leonard - if it made him happy, if it meant she got to see him smile like that, all proud and appreciative, then she would do it.

"Yeah," Penny smiled shyly. "You know, I think I'm just going to make some pasta or something instead, and have a glass of wine to celebrate. Just one." She clarified with another smile. "I promise."

Leonard felt his heart swell. He wasn't sure why, but her promise to him meant a lot. Maybe it was because he knew her so well, that her promise to just have one glass of wine, was more than just that to him. "Okay, good. You deserve that celebratory glass of wine."

"Thank you." Penny grinned excitedly again. "Have a nice time with Priya."

As they met for a goodbye hug, without realizing the other felt it too, butterflies flitted across both their stomachs. From Penny's achievement in her acting class that day, to her effort to get along with Priya, and her promise to only have one glass of wine, Leonard couldn't help but smile as he held her to him, inhaling the subtle scent of apple he could smell on her hair. Knowing she still used the same shampoo comforted him, he didn't know why, but it just did, it was a familiar scent that he always associated with her.

Penny clung to him just a little bit tighter. She had put that smile on his face; he was proud of her. Very little else mattered to her in that moment, apart from the fact that she had been able to tell him of her achievements and her endeavors to mend ways with his girlfriend and control herself. He didn't have to say anything; she knew Leonard saw that in her promise to stick to one glass of wine that evening, that it also meant that she was happy, she was in a place that evening that didn't make her want to shun her own emotions.

Pulling away, they kept their eyes locked for a moment. Small, content smiles stayed on their faces, hands still lightly holding each others bodies.

"I should go," Penny said quietly after a while, but not letting go or looking away.

Leonard wished beyond anything that he didn't have to go, he felt so comfortable right now, like it was just her and him that existed and her smile was the only thing that mattered. But something nagged him in the back of his head and moved through his body, and he found himself reluctantly letting go of her and offering a sorry smile. "Yeah. Me too."

Penny let her hands drop too. "Thank you, Leonard." She wasn't sure what she was thanking him for; for everything, she supposed, but she didn't know how to explain it, not even to herself. "It was nice talking to you."

"You too. And, again, well done. I'm proud of you. One step closer to getting your dream."

Blushing, Penny giggled. "I hope so." She smiled at him once more. "Thank you. Well, have a nice evening. I'll see you around."

"Thanks. Yeah, you too. And remember, just one glass of wine."

As she began walking up the stairs, Penny turned her head back to look at him, grinning. "Just one. I promise."

* * *

"Where the hell are you..." Penny muttered, shifting through the piles of clothes that had been thrown unceremoniously to the top shelf of her closet over the years. She had finally read the issue of Cosmopolitan that Amy had brought over for her, and suddenly just lying in bed all day had seemed like a complete and utter waste. "It would be a real help to me if you were switched on right now. I mean, not for me personally, but just to make it easier to find you so I can actually _use _you. Being switched on then helps too."

Sighing, she continued to throw various items of clothing out of her closet. It was a sign of how desperate she was to find that damn chew toy that she took a moment to vow to herself she would try keep her closet more tidy to make finding things she had hidden easier. Not so tidy that other people could find something, but tidy enough that she didn't have to spend so much time trying to locate it.

Right after throwing a blue shirt into her laundry basket with spectacular aim, Penny picked up a t-shirt that made her stop her search. Un-scrunching it, she held it out in front of her, as a fond memory accompanied by a small smile fell across her.

It was one of Leonard's t-shirts. Black, with the caffeine molecule printed on it. She knew it was the caffeine molecule because she remembered asking him, and deciding that it was her favorite molecule. He hadn't really worn it often before they were dating, and once they had started dating, it had become her fault that he had stopped wearing it. With a small laugh, she remembered how it had ended up in her closet. He had been taking a shower in the morning, having woken up before her. Getting out of bed, she had come across his t-shirt draped over the shoes she had flung off - she could remember all but tearing that t-shirt off him that night - and picked it up. She had pulled it on over her naked body, and seconds later, Leonard emerged from the bathroom wrapped in her towel. He'd asked for his t-shirt back with a grin, telling her that he needed it to go across the hall and put on some fresh clothes before work. She had refused to give it back to him, and they'd playfully chased each other around her bedroom. This had, to her delight, caused his towel to drop. As she stopped and bit her lip, he caught her, taking her by the waist. So, as a measure she had deemed as necessary to persuade him to stay home with her, she had pulled the t-shirt off her own body and thrown it into the top of her closet.

"Now you'll never get it back, my little homunculus." Penny repeated the words she had said that morning with a grin on her face. She folded the t-shirt back up carefully and placed it over the rail beneath the shelf. "Yeah, I _really _need that chew toy."

Shifting her weight from one leg to the other impatiently, she began quickly throwing clothes out of her closet and shifting boxes around with more determination than earlier. Finally moving a box of shoes she couldn't remember buying or even wearing, Penny burst into a grin. "Aha! There you are, mister!" She eagerly reached her hand over to the back of the closet and picked it up, doing a small happy dance on her feet, keeping careful not to fall off the chair she was standing on to reach to top shelf. "Oh thank _God _it's not broken!"

And then as if to spite her, she heard knocking at her door.

"No." Penny growled angrily, glaring in the direction of the noise. Slamming the chew toy back down at the back of her closet and shifting boxes to hide it completely from view, she jumped off the chair.

Stomping through her apartment, Penny practically tore her door open.

"_What?_"

"Umm..." Bernadette raised a brow. "You said last night we should come over and you said to be here at eleven..."

"We were going to watch lots of Jennifer Aniston movies..." Amy held up a stack of DVDs. "Look. Remember?"

"Oh." _I hate myself. Why the hell did I suggest that? I should have woken up earlier. _"Sorry. I forgot. Come in."

"Why so angry?" Bernadette asked cautiously as she stepped in.

"Mensies?" Amy raised her brows.

"No." Penny shook her head. "I haven't had my fix of caffeine yet."

* * *

**A/N - That first part with her acting class is the part I was really looking forward to writing (told you it wasn't a hangover, Molly!) and despite the fact that I've done a gazillion Stan exercises back in the A Level Drama days , it's really difficult to write them out. Hopefully it made sense and done some justice to the actual process! These chapters are getting longer but I don't think you guys mind :) Hope you enjoyed! **


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N - Happy Hello Kitty Monday! Sorry not sorry this is a long ass chapter. Let me know what you think! Enjoy :) **

* * *

Leonard breathed a quick sigh of relief as his call was answered, and he heard a confused "hello?" in greeting. "Hey, Penny, are you doing anything right now?"

"Umm, no, why?"

"Okay, good. Can you come pick me up from the university?"

"Why?"

"Some complete ass drove into the back of my car." Leonard sighed, looking at they keys in his hand. "It won't start up."

"What? Oh my _God_, are you okay? I'm just getting my keys. And... what the hell happened?"

"Nothing, nothing, don't worry!" Leonard shook his head. "I mean, I'm fine, but my car isn't. I was about to reverse out but someone reversed into me and just drove off with their bumper hanging off." He distinctly heard the sound of a door closing and footsteps running down the stairs. "Penny, you don't have to run."

"Well then you shouldn't have got me worried with the whole 'somebody drove into my car' thing! Look, I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Okay, but drive safe-"

"_Drive safe _what so someone else can drive into the back of your car or knock you over or something?"

"Penny, you're over reacting! I'm waiting in the cafeteria, calm down, I just need someone to drive me back and nobody else answered apart from Sheldon, who doesn't drive anyway."

"Calm down my ass."

Hearing the disconnect tone, Leonard pulled the phone away from his ear and looking down at the screen in disbelief. _Okay, she's right, maybe I shouldn't have started with the whole car thing... _

He sat back in his seat, and rang his insurance company to explain what had happened. They said they'd send somebody out to take a look, and Leonard told them he'd leave the keys with one of his colleagues. Once that had been taken care of, he looked down at his phone again, considering texting Penny and reminding her to drive carefully, but he knew that would be a waste. She either wouldn't see it, or would completely ignore it. He quickly went to one of his colleagues in the office next to his, who he knew would be in late, and explained the situation and handed him the keys to his car. Just making it back to the cafeteria, his phone rang again and he answered it.

"Okay, I've just pulled up in the side road. Are you okay to walk over here?"

"I told you, I'm fine." Leonard gave a small chuckle. "I'll be there in a bit, I'm on my way now." Knowing she would worry if he took too long, Leonard walked at a quicker pace than usual, and spotted her car. He got into the passenger seat and smiled as he closed the door. "See, told you, I'm fine."

"Do you need your inhaler?" Penny held out one of his inhalers with a shaky arm, her expression pale.

"No, Penny, I'm fine, look. Still breathing!" He took the inhaler from her hands anyway, grinning, but quickly fading to a frown when her face didn't relax. "Penny, you can stop worrying, I told you, it's just my car. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He reassured her. "I'm fine."

"Okay." Penny released a breath and sat back, looking at her steering wheel as color finally flooded back to her face. "Okay. Good."

"Are _you _okay?" Leonard asked worriedly. He felt bad; he knew she had a tendency to over react to things like this, and that she worried easily - in retrospect, he wished he had started with 'I'm fine, but' instead of straight into the car incident.

"Yeah," Penny turned and gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry." She shook her head. "The car thing scared me. I was watching some program this morning where a car crashed, it was just a bad coincidence that you called me about your car. Sorry." Despite what she said, she knew that, what she had seen on the television that morning, was only part of the reason she had gotten so worried. All she had really heard was that somebody had crashed into Leonard's car, and her mind had gone into overdrive - worrying about him, if he needed his inhaler, if he was okay, was he in shock, everything.

"Good." He smiled back at her. "That's okay. It's nice that your worried but... scary when you look paler than Sheldon."

Penny giggled. "Yeah, I can't imagine that being one of my best looks."

Leonard nodded. "You've looked better." He grinned at her as she dropped her jaw in mock offense. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"No problem," Penny shrugged, starting her car up. "Penny to the rescue!" _Okay that was lame... _

Pulling his seatbelt on as they pulled out into the road, Leonard chuckled. "Penny to the rescue indeed. I didn't disturb your day, did I?"

"Oh, no, it's okay, I was just lazing around today. I was just tidying my closet. I started a few days ago but then Amy and Bernadette came round, so I thought I'd finish it today."

"You're tidying your closet?" Leonard asked in disbelief. "With all the clothes in there, is that even possible?"

"Well, it has to be. I keep losing things in there." Penny frowned. "Like, the other week I threw my... something in there, and I began tidying my closet to find it, but then Amy and Bernadette arrived _just _when I found my-" Her eyes widened, and she quickly glanced at Leonard before looking back at the road, gripping the steering wheel. "You know what, never mind! No, you didn't disturb my day." _Certainly gives me motivation to keep tidying my closet though, _she smirked unintentionally as she stole another glance at him.

Leonard raised a brow at the look she kept giving him. "What did you... _oh_." He raised his brows and suppressed his own smirk as it dawned on him what exactly she had thrown into her closet. "Oh, okay." He grinned slightly, his confidence boosted by the link he had made between her chew toy and her dream the other week. "So _you're _having fun."

Penny glared at him, not sure if she was embarrassed or just annoyed that he had worked out what was in her closet. She was so used to him completely missing out anything at all suggestive, it would come as a surprise when he worked out the most subtle things. "A few weeks ago, Amy was using Gerard and she-"

"Ba-ba-ba! No!" Leonard held his hands up. "No, I don't want to hear that! I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, please don't tell me that story!"

"Well then zip it, mister."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." Leonard laughed to himself, looking down at the inhaler in his hands. It suddenly dawned on him that she had given him his inhaler - _how does she have that_? He knew where all his inhalers were - two in his bedroom, one in his desk in the apartment, one at work, and one in his inside jacket pocket. There was a spare one in the bathroom cabinet too. Which, based on his knowledge, meant that this was one of his older ones, unless she had gone into his apartment very quickly before leaving and located one straight away. "Did you get this from my apartment?" He held the inhaler up, shaking it slightly.

Penny looked over at the inhaler quickly. "No, I went straight from my apartment. Why?"

He couldn't tell if she genuinely didn't get the question that he was trying to ask, or if she was trying to avoid the subject of why she had one of his inhalers in the first place. From the relaxed look on her face, he figured it was the first. Turning his head to look at her and turning the inhaler over and over in his hands, he frowned. "How come you have one of my inhalers?"

"I dunno," Penny shrugged. "I just have one in my nightstand drawer. I thought you might need it."

"Okay, but why is it in your nightstand drawer? Why didn't you give it back to me?" Leonard asked. He wasn't sure if he was just overthinking the significance of this, if she was ignoring it, or they simply weren't on the same page as each other. He just wanted some sort of an answer from her.

"Well, you know, you left one at my apartment after we broke up and I sort of just kept it." Penny said slowly. He could tell from her face and the way she spoke that she had finally gotten to where he was with the question. She gave him a quick, small smile and bit her lip as she turned her attention back to the road. "I didn't want to get rid of it. I like having it in my room." She said shyly, eyes focused on the road. "Is that okay? Do you want it back?"

Shaking his head, Leonard smiled. "No, it's okay, you can keep it." He slid the inhaler into her handbag, which was on the floor by his feet. He couldn't get himself to stop smiling as he looked at her. It wasn't often that she gave a straightforward answer, or asked to keep something of his, or even mention any kind of emotional attachment to anything that was his - and he found it completely endearing that it was his inhaler, of all things, that she wanted to keep.

After a few minutes, Penny cleared her throat. "So, umm, did you call the insurance company about your car?"

"Yeah," Leonard nodded. He didn't expect her to dwell on the subject as he did, so accepted the change of topic. "They said they'll come and check it out when they had time later. I told them I can get home so I left the keys with a colleague, otherwise I'd have to wait around for ages."

"Do you know who it was that drove into your car?"

"Nah, I didn't really get to see. The guy from the insurance company said I probably won't have to pay, since I wasn't even moving my car yet, so that's good. Though if I did see who did it, I would cause some serious damage to that driver."

Penny giggled as she parked her car outside the apartment. "Yeah, right."

"Hey! I will have you know, I _can _cause serious damage."

Shutting off her engine and undoing her seatbelt, Penny turned to look at him. "What, do you plan to go after that driver and challenge him to a light saber duel?"

Leonard frowned. "Maybe."

"Oh, sweetie," Penny shook her head. "Along with Sheldon giving a lecture and calling oscillation 'the big o', that would be one of my favorite nerdy things to see." She giggled. "So, if you do ever have a light saber duel, let me know."

"Umm, hello, you don't _plan _a light saber duel, Penny." Leonard raised a brow, his tone serious. "Hey, did you check your book to see if oscillation was mentioned in your book?"

"Ooh, I did!" Penny grinned excitedly, sitting up. "It's in there, I didn't really get it though. Things are getting complicated in that book, I was going to start reading the chapter on thermodynamics but I just got lost."

"Want me to explain it for you?" He turned his body slightly in the car seat.

"Okay, sure," Penny shrugged, leaning her side into the back of her seat.

As soon as Leonard began talking, Penny realized that letting him explain it to her had been a _very _bad idea. What with the way him talking about science turned her on, and her determination to get her chew toy out and use it again, she very quickly found herself completely immersed in his voice, his eyes, his hands. He would gesture with them to emphasize something, and his eyes would twinkle as his mouth moved over complicated words. _Oh God... _Each time he said the word 'oscillation' her mind instantly moved over to the thought of 'the big o' and it did nothing to help her. Her mind went back to the night he had come over to her apartment for advice, seen her physics book, and they'd ended up making out before moving things to her bedroom. She distinctly remembered her frustration when there'd been a knock at her door before even her panties had been taken off, and right now her mind began to imagine what would have happened had that knock not happened. _Or if Leonard had locked my door... mm. _

Fighting with herself to concentrate her mind, she felt herself biting her lip as her breath began to speed up. But it didn't help, and the confined space of her car making her feel that much closer to him made it difficult to stop her mind and heart from racing.

"Leonard."

Penny blinked quickly, just as surprised as Leonard at her breathless voice saying his name. He stopped in the middle of his explanation, eyebrows raised high, waiting. He thought she was going to continue, and ask him to go back a little because she hadn't understood something he had just said. He waited, but she just continued to blink at him, face flushed.

"Umm, sorry," Penny quickly turned in her seat, taking her keys out of the ignition and opening her door. "I have to go, and, umm, the girls are coming over in a bit and I need to switch the oven on and stuff."

To Leonard, this seemed a fair explanation - he wasn't sure what all the blinking had been about, so he put that down to confusion about what he was telling her. Getting out of the car too, he gave her a small smile. "Okay. Did that make sense?"

Locking her car, Penny nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, good." Leonard grinned. "If there's anything in thermodynamics you don't understand, I'm happy to help with that too."

"Sure, sure," Penny nodded as they began their walk up the stairs.

They walked in silence for a while, Penny walking faster than usual. As they reached the landing between their apartments, she turned to her own door.

"Penny, wait."

"Yeah?" Penny snapped her head round quickly.

"Your handbag." Leonard held out her handbag, which he had taken out from his side of the car. "You forgot it."

"Oh, yeah, thanks," Penny giggled nervously as she took her bag from him.

Leonard raised a brow, but smiled anyway. "I put the inhaler in there for you, you can keep it."

"Hmm," Penny paused, smiling at him. "Thank you, Leonard."

"No problem. And thanks for coming to get me from the university. When your engine explodes, I'll be happy to help you out." He leant in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

_My engine is going to explode pretty soon if I don't get into my apartment... _"Aw, well, no worries. I'll get that check engine light looked at one day."

"Good to hear." Leonard said, taking his keys from his pocket. "I'll see you later, Penny."

"Bye," Penny grinned stupidly and waved until he had gotten into his apartment and closed his door, before pushing her own door open, then slamming and locking it shut. "O-kay, no time to try find the chew toy, damn you Hofstadter and your oscillation. Time for a l-o-ong shower."

Chucking her bag down, she headed through the door to the bathroom, pausing at her closet. Maybe she _could _wait a little bit longer to find it. Looking around her room, she frowned as she saw her physics book on her nightstand. _Nope, no time, _she decided. Hurrying to the bathroom, she had just placed her hand on the shower switch when there was a knock at her door.

"Seriously? Can't a girl have some time alone?" Penny groaned, storming back through her apartment to the door. Yanking the door open, Penny held back a deep frown. "Hey, Priya."

"Hi, Penny." Priya offered her an awkward smile. "Am I interrupting anything?"

_Well I was going to have amazing sex with myself while thinking about your boyfriend, but whatever. _"Nope." Penny shook her head.

"Okay, Leonard said you were getting ready for the girls to come over so I wasn't sure if you were busy." Priya shrugged. "Umm, thanks for taking him back. Raj and I just got here, we had to Skype our parents. They're trying to convince us to go to one of their friends daughters weddings. It's a seven day wedding!" Priya shook her head, realizing she was going off course. She put that down to nerves, though she knew she'd never admit that, and say instead that it was because she _really _didn't want to go to India for a seven day wedding for somebody she didn't even know. "So, anyway, thank you for driving him home."

Penny smiled. Priya wasn't mad at her for spending time with Leonard, she wasn't making something out of nothing, she was actually thanking her. "No problem." _If only you knew the difficulty of restraining myself from kissing him right there in my car... you probably wouldn't be thanking me then. Or maybe you would since I didn't kiss him. _She guessed this was Priya's way of saying 'maybe we can work things out' - and Penny reluctantly forced her mind away from thoughts of Leonard to her promise to have coffee with Priya. "So, that, uh, coffee thing..."

"I was actually going to ask about that," Priya said, both girls nodding awkwardly.

"Oh, okay, great, so, like... do you have any afternoons off or anything?" Penny asked.

"I think Thursday afternoon I'm not working. Would that work for you?"

"Yeah, sure, Thursday is good for me." Penny cocked her head. "I'm working in the morning, so, could you meet me at The Cheesecake Factory?" She felt ridiculous, inviting her ex-boyfriends international lawyer girlfriend, to have coffee with her at her menial, minimum wage job.

"Of course." Priya grinned nervously. "Well, I'll see you on Thursday then."

"Sure, I look forward to it." _Thank God I'm an actress and can pull off that lie... _

They said an awkward goodbye, and Penny quickly shut her door. Reaching for her handbag, she pulled out her phone as she flopped down onto the couch. Sighing, she quickly wrote out a text to Bernadette and Amy, inviting them over. Since she had now told both Priya and Leonard they were coming over, she may as well have them here, and she could use the company. She had just organized coffee with Priya, and she was sure she could talk to them about how much she was dreading it without giving away anything about what was happening between her and Leonard. Amy quickly replied with an enthusiastic acceptance of her invitation and said she'd be over with Bernadette in an hour.

That still gave her enough time to get back to her original planned activity, Penny decided with a smile, as she threw her phone onto the coffee table and headed back into her bedroom. Just seeing the physics book and remembering what Leonard had been saying about oscillation was enough to push the thoughts of her recent conversation with Priya out of her mind completely.

But as she heard Sheldon's signature knock on her door, Penny realized that she really had no luck these days. _Why is it so hard to get some action these days? _

"Yes?" Penny said, yanking the door open.

"Penny." Sheldon said sincerely. "Leonard just told me about what happened to his car. As you can imagine, this is a terrible inconvenience for me."

"Yeah..." Penny rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it is."

"I'm glad you understand. Now, since the insurance company have no sense of timing or scheduling, it falls to you to be responsible to drive me to work should Leonard's car not return on time, or not be satisfactory for the road."

"What?" Penny exclaimed, jaw dropping. "Why does it become my responsibility?"

"You have a car." Sheldon pointed out.

_I also have a chew toy but you don't see me riding that to work. _"So?"

"So, you are my next available driver." Sheldon said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why can't Howard or Raj take you to work?" Penny scoffed.

"I can't rely on them arriving here on time, thus making me late. You live next door, and we have a spare key, so I can ensure that you are awake and ready to drive me to work." Sheldon paused. "I know that you prefer being awoken by Leonard and whatever the two of you used to do in the mornings that caused you both such vocally expressive joy, but since that is no longer an option for you, the responsibility to awaken you in times of need falls, unfortunately, to me."

"Oh my _God_!" Penny's jaw dropped once more. She had completely forgotten about those mornings. Well, that was a lie, she just hadn't thought about them today. But she didn't know Sheldon had heard any of that. _Damn, I miss those mornings. _

"I'm sorry, are you praying? You know, for somebody with so few morals, you sure do pray a lot."

"I'm not praying, Sheldon!" Penny groaned, almost yelling.

"Sorry. Growing up with a religious nut for a mother, it's easy to mistake prayer from expressions of exasperation." Sheldon bowed his head slightly before looking back up at her. "So, will you drive me and Leonard to work tomorrow if his car isn't returned today?"

"Ugh, fine! Just text me tonight if he hasn't got his car back yet so I know to set my frickin' alarm."

"Okay." Sheldon gave her a smile that creeped her out far more than comforted her. "Thank you, Penny."

"Yeah, you're welcome, Sheldon. Goodbye." Rolling her eyes, Penny closed her door. Taking a deep breath to rid herself of the stress that came with talking to Sheldon, she stood at her door for a moment. Recomposing herself, she headed back to her bedroom and into her bathroom. But, as she heard yet another knock, she realized with an angry growl that she probably wouldn't be taking a shower now. Once more stomping over to the door, she pulled it open. "Yes?"

"Is this the apartment of a Doctor Leonard Hofstadter?" A man with dirty overalls and a clipboard looked up from the sheet he was reading. "We have his car keys here. We've sorted the problem and changed the bumper, nothing severe."

"That's great, but he lives in 4A." Penny pushed gently on the clipboard so she could see the paper. "See? That says 4A. This is 4B. He lives there." She pointed to Leonard's door. "Wrong apartment. But good to hear his cars working."

"Sorry, ma'am. Do you know if he's in?"

"Yeah, he is. Though if a tall guy who looks like a preying mantis answers the door, brace yourself for a butt-load of questions." Penny gave him a forced smile. "Enjoy."

Closing her door, she groaned as she fell back onto her couch. Not only was she going to have to miss out on her time in the shower and forget about Leonard's wonderful explanation of oscillation, but the guy with Leonard's car keys meant that her entire conversation with Sheldon had been completely pointless. Pressing a hand to her forehead, she closed her eyes. It just wasn't her day. _When did I become so damn horny? _Penny exhaled loudly, opening her eyes again. _Ugh, being single sucks. How the hell does Amy do it? I don't even have the will to tidy my closet any more. I wish I wanted to date other people... no, I don't want that. _

Pulling herself off the sofa and away from her thoughts before they became too much for her, she trudged over to the kitchen and switched on her oven. She had brought a pizza and fries from the frozen foods section of the store the other day, and since it was the only food she really had to offer, that was what they would be having tonight. She pulled both out of her freezer, squinting to see how long they should be cooked for. Once she had placed them into the oven and set the timer, she headed to the wine on top of her fridge.

Placing one hand on the closest bottle, she paused and froze. Was this really a good idea? She had been doing fairly well recently, and she knew she'd probably have a glass or two when the girls got here. With a sad smile and shake of her head, she let go of the bottle, and opened her fridge to get a bottle of water instead. She was determined to keep her promise to Leonard, whether he cared or not, and she wasn't going to let herself ruin her hard work this time.


	40. Chapter 40

Penny had just pulled the pizza and fries out of the oven and onto serving platters when she had a knock at the door. Taking the food over to the coffee table on her way to answer it, she quickly decided against pouring salt over the fries with a slight smirk.

"Hey!" she grinned as she opened the door.

"Hey bestie," Amy stepped in, followed by Bernadette.

Closing the door behind her, Penny smiled. "Hey."

"Ooh, you cooked?" Bernadette grinned as she sat down. "Good, I'm starving!"

"If by cooked you mean took out of my freezer and put in the oven, then yeah, I cooked." Penny sat down on the couch next to Bernadette as Amy sat herself on the chair. She picked up a few fries. "Mm, I love fries."

"Junk food with a beautiful woman and her short friend, this really is the life." Amy grinned, holding up a slice of pizza. "And with an hours notice to come over! It's like a booty call!"

"Yeah... it's not a booty call." Penny rolled her eyes with a slight giggle. _I could do with a booty call though... _

"No wine?" Amy observed with a slight frown. "This is an unusual occurrence."

"Yeah, I promised Leonard I'd stop drinking so much." Penny shrugged, going for another handful of fries with a shrug, not registering the questions that would stem from her statement until Amy and Bernadette turned to look at her with their brows raised.

"Leonard?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah." Penny bit on a fry, then realized what she had just said. "Oh... yeah." She sighed as they looked at her expectantly. "Remember when we went out to that nice place but we went home early?"

"_Yes_." Amy and Bernadette said in unison, sharing a look as they recalled the conversation they had had once Penny had been taken home.

"Okay, and I only had one glass of wine, right?" Penny nodded to herself. "Well, when I came back, I had a few more glasses." She decided to skip over the part where she had spoken to Leonard earlier and been texting him that evening. "I got a little bit drunk by myself, and I cut my hand with my wine glass and I called him to come over." She bit her lip, looking down at the remaining fries in her hand. "I said some... _really _stupid things. So the next day I went over to apologize and... he'd said stuff before, subtle things, I could tell he was worried about me because I kept coming home drunk... anyway, I promised him I would try stop doing that."

"Wow." Bernadette said. By the look on Amy's face, she was just as startled as she was. Not only had Penny acknowledged that her drinking had become a problem, but she had told them, with as much ease as somebody like Penny could have about things like this, that she had made an effort to stop for Leonard. Leonard, the one guy who could talk to her and get through her stubborn walls, who also happened to be the guy Penny wasn't over - despite her constant efforts to convince them it was nothing more than just a 'difficult break up'. "That's nice that he cares so much."

"And that you care enough about him to listen." Amy added.

"Yeah." Penny took a deep, shaky breath. She had hoped that they would just leave what she had said, but clearly they had read more into it than she had wanted. "So... so I'm probably just going to have a glass later. I didn't want to start too early."

Sensing her tone, Bernadette gave her a soft smile. "Okay."

There was a moment of silence as the girls took a few more bites of their food, before Penny introduced a new topic. "Hey, what were you and Howard doing earlier?"

"What?" Bernadette frowned. "We were having a late lunch with his mom. Why?"

"Leonard said he'd been trying to call everyone but only Sheldon answered."

"Oh, yeah, Howie called him back after we left his mom's house, he said Leonard's car broke down." Bernadette nodded. "It's very difficult to hear your phone ring when she's talking."

"His car broke down? Well, that would explain the missed call for me too." Amy said, reaching over to take a few fries. "It's so exciting having missed calls from a boy."

Penny raised a brow. "Yeah..." She couldn't help but feel a twang of jealousy. Not of Amy, but of her statement. While she knew it was stupid, she wished she still got to feel that excitement of missed calls from a guy. Not in the same way as Amy, who was still new to these kinds of things. But her small, innocent statement reminded her that she no longer had missed calls from Leonard on her phone - in fact, he didn't call anymore, today was the first time in a long time. He used to call her quite frequently, even if it was just to ask her if she wanted pizza or come over to watch a movie with the guys, and while they were dating it would be for long talks, or he'd want to check up on her at work, and she missed that. It wasn't something she had thought about until now, and Amy mentioning it reminded her once more of the little things that she missed about him.

"Do you know what happened to his car?" Bernadette asked, shaking Penny from her thoughts.

"Oh, someone drove into the back of it and then it wouldn't start." Once more, she decided to skip over information - this time, about how worried she had been. "Seeing as none of you guys answered, I had to go pick him up from the university."

"That's nice of you." Amy stated carefully. "Was he okay?"

"Yes," Penny said, feeling the same relief roll through her as she had earlier when she had realized that he was okay. "He didn't even need his asthma inhaler."

"That's... good?" Bernadette scrunched up her face in confusion, to her, his need of his asthma inhaler wasn't a significant piece of information. "Is it weird being with... just him?"

"Since, you know, he saw you with the chew toy." Amy added.

"_Amy_!" Penny glared at her for a moment, before deciding showing them how much these things got to her would only give them more questions. "No, it's fine. I told him you guys just got it for me as a joke."

"Oh, it wasn't as a joke." Amy smirked.

"Amy!" Bernadette frowned at Amy, before looking back at Penny with a wide grin. "But yeah, it wasn't a joke."

Penny glared at the two of them. "_Anyway... _just because there have been some awkward moments doesn't mean things have to be all weird between us, we're friends." She shrugged in what she hoped was a casual way.

"Is Priya okay with you two being friends?" Bernadette bit her lip. "I thought she didn't want you two hanging out?"

_Yeah, she didn't want us hanging out, didn't stop all the sex now did it? _"Yeah... I don't know, I think she's..." Penny sighed; she had no idea what Priya thought. But judging by her earlier visit, she must be less upset over their friendship than she had been when she'd ask Leonard to tell Penny to back off. "She came by earlier to say thank you for bringing Leonard back. Oh... and we're meeting for coffee on Thursday."

"Ooh, coffee with the ex-boyfriends new girlfriend. Is it time to get catty?" Amy held up a hand and clawed at the air.

"Why on _earth _are you having coffee with Priya?" Bernadette looked partially shocked, partially disgusted. "Did she force you into it or something?"

"No, I... suggested we should go for coffee some time." Penny said quietly.

"_Why_?" Amy and Bernadette chorused.

"I don't know..." Penny sighed, and bit her lip. "Okay, if I tell you something, _promise _me you won't give me hell about it?"

"Well, that really depends on what it is." Bernadette said, before Penny hit her gently on the arm. "Sorry, okay, promise."

"It's okay bestie, your secret is safe with us." Amy gave her a small nod and a wink.

Ignoring the wink, Penny sighed again and looked down at her hands. Just the thought of saying it was making her feel nervous. She knew she shouldn't be, after all, these two girls had witnessed her in the middle of a dirty dream, so there really wasn't much that she could hide from them these days. But still, it was something personal, and it wasn't something she freely shared completely sober and, apparently, awake.

"Ugh, okay." Penny twiddled her thumbs. "So... when you guys bought me the... the chew toy, I sort of... used it... a few times." She cleared her throat, continuing quickly in order to take advantage of the shocked silence of her friends. "And you know, sex, endorphins, blah blah blah. Basically, I was _really _happy." Penny shuddered, smiling slightly. She cleared her throat again in attempt to clear her thoughts. "Later that day I saw Priya and I was just so stupidly happy that I invited her for coffee."

"I'm sorry, a few times? In one afternoon?"

"Ooh, bet she was thinking about Leonard." Bernadette giggled, unable to help herself. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back and lowered her voice slightly. "Mm, _Leonard_!" She threw her head back further as she burst into laughter, followed by Amy.

Penny blushed red, her skin hot and jaw clenched. "You guys _promised_ you wouldn't give me hell for that!" Her voice came out higher than she had expected. "And so what if I was thinking about Leonard? It's not _funny_!"

"I'm sorry." Amy covered her mouth to stifle her laughs.

"Oh come on, we're just teasing!"

"Yeah, well, don't!" Penny got up off the couch, walking to the kitchen. She so desperately wanted that glass of wine, or two, or three to get over this. Grabbing a clean wine glass from her shelf, she reasoned with herself that it was just one glass, promising herself that it wouldn't go beyond that. Once she had calmed down and gotten over the embarrassment, and her brief anger at the girls had faded, she knew she would be fine. Pouring herself a reasonable serving, she took a sip as the two girls watched her with obviously suppressed giggles. "Look, I don't laugh at you, Amy, when you talk about Gerard, or you, Bernadette, when you talk about all the weird crap you do with Howard. Can you just... not make such a big deal out of it?"

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other guiltily, their laughter now subsided. They knew that they shouldn't have teased her, however briefly, and just left the topic alone to focus on the reason she had told them that little story in the first place. They both uttered an apologetic "sorry" and watched her quietly as Penny came back to sit on the couch.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about it, you know." Bernadette put a hand on Penny's arm.

"I'm not! Well, I am, but I'm just not comfortable talking about it." _It's bad enough Leonard worked it out and teased me about it. _"Can we circle back to the main point of the story?"

"You're right, you're right, sorry." Amy nodded. "That's... coffee with Priya, right?"

"Yes." Penny took another sip of her wine. "I know I just told you why I invited her, but I wish I hadn't mentioned it earlier when she came over."

"Okay, I know you don't like talking about this, but do you think it's because..." Bernadette hesitated. "Do you think it might be something to do with Leonard?"

"She's right, Penny." Amy said quickly, before Penny could shoot the idea down. "Leonard cares about both you and Priya very much, and you must know that. So you probably know that by attempting to form a friendship with Leonard's girlfriend, that it will make him happy, and that that is the reason you are going through with this."

_Yes, _Penny wanted to the girls. Of course she knew how much he cared about her, and how much he cared about Priya. The only reason she had gone through with her invitation was because of him, seeing how happy he was that she was trying to get on with Priya. Yes, she had given the invitation in the first place, while she was feeling what could only be described as the sober version of high. But she hadn't planned on following it through until she had seen the smile on Leonard's face, and she wasn't going to be the one to stop him from smiling, no matter how much she hated what she had to do. And yet she knew if she told them any of this, that it would give away too much, it made her too vulnerable. They clearly knew she still had feelings for him, but she couldn't risk giving away that it was more than just that. It scared her enough as it was, she couldn't cope with more, unless she had more alcohol... and there it was again. Leonard. She wasn't drinking as much, because of Leonard. Everything managed to, somehow, circle back to him. It was vicious and painful, but she was handling it as it was, and for now, that was something that she could deal with.

"Kind of." Penny chose her words carefully, speaking slowly, to ensure there wasn't a way they could dig for more. "We said we'd be friends, and we are. Like you said, he cares about Priya. So if he's serious about her, I have to at least try being her friend. Leonard is a great guy, and a wonderful friend, and I don't want to lose him over something that can be fixed. Breaking up with him, that was my fault; I hurt him. I'm not going to hurt him when he's finally happy again, just because I don't want to spend some time getting to know his girlfriend properly. He tried being friends with Zack, which must have been difficult, so I'm going to return the favor."

She realized once she had finished that perhaps she had said too much, but to her relief, neither Amy nor Bernadette pounded her with questions. Instead, they gave a small, understanding nod.

"That makes sense." Amy said. "You truly are worthy of being a bestie to any homo sapiens."

"Homo sapiens?" Penny raised a brow.

"It's-"

"I know what it is," Penny cut in with a laugh. "It was just a weird way of putting it."

Bernadette could sense that Penny found some relief in the humor, and smiled as she got up. "Well, this homo sapiens would like a glass of wine, if that is alright?"

"Sure, sure, the bottles open anyway." Penny gestured to the kitchen.

"You want some Amy?"

"Yes please."

Bernadette took two glasses and poured them each a serving, making sure to fill their glasses up enough so that what was left in the bottle, should Penny want another glass, would be enough for a small serving - but not enough to make her want a third glass once she had finished it. She brought the two glasses over and sat back down.

Penny held her glass up. "A toast, to my favorite homo sapiens."

Giggling, the three clinked their glasses and took a long sip. Penny's phone buzzed, and she leant over to pick it up from the table.

"Ah, speak of the devil, it's Leonard." She raised her brows as she unlocked her phone to read the message.

_**My car is fixed, and we took it for a drive to make sure it's up to Sheldon's standards. You can sleep in tomorrow, no need to wake up early :) Sheldon says you should be honored you're his go-to driver when my car is broken, I think that's his way of saying sorry for bothering you. Thanks again for taking me home x **_

"Are you gonna tell us what it says?" Bernadette asked, as Penny smiled down at her phone.

"Oh," Penny looked up at the two. "He just said his car is fixed so I won't have to take them to work tomorrow morning. Sheldon came over to tell me that if Leonard didn't get his car back or if it wasn't satisfactory I'd have to take them."

"He didn't ask me." Amy frowned, putting down her wine glass.

"Aw, Ames, he only asked me because I live across the hall - he probably just didn't want to take you out of your way to take him to work." Penny smiled at her sympathetically.

"I wouldn't have a problem with getting up slightly earlier to drive Sheldon to work." Amy said simply.

"Well then you tell him that, because I do _not _like waking up early in the morning." Penny raised her brows as she turned her attention back to her phone.

Bernadette leaned over to Amy and whispered as Penny tapped out a text message. "From what I heard, she only likes waking up early in the morning if it's Leonard waking her up with a... surprise."

They shared a quick giggle, which went unnoticed by Penny, who was still engrossed in her phone.

_**The car fixing guy came to my apartment to tell me the car was fixed, he thought this was 4a, what a dumbass. But good to know Sheldon finds it acceptable, I definitely will be sleeping in late! Tell him Amy wants to be his go-to driver. Im sure shes a better ride than me in the mornings. No problem sweetie :) x**_

Picking up her glass of wine again, she looked over at Amy. "I told Leonard to tell Sheldon you would like to be his go-to driver."

"Thank you," Amy grinned. "I know his top five car games."

"He has a top five for car games?" Bernadette raised a brow. "Well, I guess you gotta have a top five _something._.."

"Hm, Howard told us his top five," Penny frowned, shaking her head slowly. "Bernie, you lucky, lucky girl." Her phone buzzed again, and she unlocked it once more, pursing her lips together to suppress a giggle as she read the message.

_**A better ride? I dont know. Sheldon doesnt 'ride' and you were a more than satisfactory ride in the mornings. Please dont tell me a gerard story, I couldnt help it. The double meaning was right there! Oh and Sheldon says he will think about it x**_

She hadn't even realized how it looked when she wrote it, but as she read back over that part of her message she knew if she had been on the receiving end, she would have given a similar response.

"What are you smirking at?" Bernadette nudged Penny playfully.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing." Penny shrugged. "Sheldon said he'll think about your offer, Amy."

"Oh, goody!" Amy picked her wine glass up again. "Thank you, bestie."

"You're welcome," Penny giggled, before once more turning back to her phone.

_**Ill let you off this time, Hofstadter. Ooh my phone capitalizes your surname. Amy is very pleased, she says she knows Sheldon's top 5 car games. Cant believe he has a top five, bernie says she has a top five but we all know from Howard what thats all about. Now shes explaining it to Amy as i write. Usually id go for another glass of wine when it comes to this but im being good and just sticking to one glass :) x**_

"Oh... that's an interesting top five." Amy nodded at Bernadette. "I'm not sure how the third one would work though."

"Yeah, and _please _don't explain it." Penny put a hand up in front of her. "You can look it up when you get home, Ames."

"Can't I just use your laptop to look it up?" Amy looked over to the small dining table where Penny's laptop was sat. "I'm curious."

"I don't really want that coming up in my browser history." Penny shuddered.

"You really don't." Bernadette shook her head, grinning. "You could use your phone though?"

"Ooh, good idea!"

As Amy got her phone out from her handbag, Penny felt her phone buzz again and checked the latest message.

_**Yay, im proud :) x**_

It was short, and simple, but those three words put the biggest smile on her face and in her mind. Those three words reminded her that she definitely wouldn't be refilling her glass, and that she could survive with just the one. She didn't care if he was just saying it to be polite, or if he was genuinely proud of her - she hoped it was the latter - but it mattered to her that he had written it. As she locked her phone, she thanked herself that she had his text, and that the girls were now both giggling at what Amy was looking up on her phone rather than any of her earlier confessions. Perhaps she hadn't gotten time with her chew toy, but the company of her friends was therapeutic in a completely different way, and she was more than grateful for that.

* * *

**A/N - I'm away next week on a mini vaca... so I'm gonna do my best to get you another chapter before I leave on Monday. I'll be returning to Leonard in a few chapters, I know we've strayed away from him a little but it's just been planned out for things to happen before other things. So you'll have some more of him when I return! But as I say, I'll try to get something done before I leave. If you want, I have some little fluffy things I can upload and publish from my phone while I'm away, they're just sitting on my laptop. Oh, and, if you don't read/haven't read C3 of the Bed Breaking Recurrence, I got me a twitter - my username is terriblewaitres, so you can follow me on there! :) **


	41. Chapter 41

"Here goes..."

Usually, Penny was practically ecstatic about finishing her morning shift. But today, clocking out seemed like the worst thing. As she shoved her apron in her handbag, she paced around the staff room, stalling going out into the restaurant and meeting Priya. But she knew she had to, there was no way around it. Taking a deep breath, she put her hand on the door and pushed it open. Stepping out, she looked around and spotted Priya sitting at one of the smaller tables. Wishing the ground would swallow her with every step, Penny put on a small, nervous smile as she approached her.

"Hey, Priya," Penny said, sitting down at the empty seat.

"Oh, hi, Penny," Priya smiled, putting down her phone. They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, fidgeting with the napkins on the table in front of them. "So... how was your shift?"

"It was okay." Penny nodded slowly. "I got a really good tip from one customer. That was good. And I didn't spill any drinks today, so..." _Oh my God stop talking before you make yourself look even worse than you do in this stupid uniform._

"That's good."

"Hmm, yeah." Penny pursed her lips. "How's... how's your work going?"

"Good, good. Still as boring as when Leonard told you about my job, but... it's going well." Priya gave a small, nervous laugh. "Advancements in battery technology are always very exciting."

"Umm... that's meant to be sarcastic, right?"

"Oh, yes, definitely."

"Okay, good."

The two of them laughed slightly, more out of awkwardness and nervousness than at anything they had actually said. To their relief, one of the waitresses came to their table.

"Hey, Penny!"

"Kim! Hey!" Penny grinned, thankful there was now somebody else to talk to, even if it was only brief. "How are things going with you?"

"Not too bad, not too bad." Kim nodded. "I just had to serve a table of eighteen. I spent like, ten minutes just moving the tables together so they could all sit together."

"Yikes, you should have given that group to someone else so they could deal with it."

"Well, Lynn asked me to do it, and I was going to pass them on to Ed, but I already gave him a group of snotty kids for a seventh birthday party, so... I was stuck with them." Kim sighed. "Oh well. At least I don't have to clean up after them. Can I get you guys anything?"

Penny was really desperate for a glass of wine, to make this whole coffee with Priya thing easier than it was. But she knew she shouldn't, and she couldn't. "Just a coffee for me please, Kim. Oh, and, this is Priya."

"Oh... Priya," Kim nodded slowly, giving Penny a quick glance to confirm that _this _was the Priya she had told people about. She extended a hand. "Nice to meet you, Priya."

"Nice to meet you too." Priya shook her hand.

"Would you like anything to drink? A... diet... coke, perhaps?"

"No, thank you, just a coffee will be fine."

"Alright. Two coffees coming right up. Nice to see you, Penny." Kim leant forward to hug Penny, lowering her voice to a whisper. "She looks as much of a bitch as you said she is."

"I know, right?" Penny whispered back, smiling as Kim stood back up. "You too, Kim."

As Kim walked away, Penny turned back to Priya, and the awkwardness fell back again.

"So..." Penny drummed her fingers on the table. "Umm, how are your parents? Still trying to convince you and Raj to go to that wedding?" _Please go back to India. Go to that damn wedding. Find a nice Indian guy there that your parents will approve of. I will like you so much more for that. _

"Oh, we finally convinced them that we will not be going. We just told them that we both have a lot of work to do and can't take the time off."

"That's good." _Damn. _Penny sighed internally. She watched as Priya's phone alerted her of a message, and then as Priya picked it up to read it, smiling, before tapping out a reply and putting it back down. She decided against asking who it was, it wasn't really her business anyway. "So... umm... any plans for this weekend?"

"Not really. The guys are going to watch Lord of the Rings on Saturday, so I think I'll just go over some notes for work." Priya shrugged.

Their coffees arrived then, and Penny quickly rolled her eyes at Kim as Priya added some milk and sugar to her coffee.

"So you're not going to watch with Leonard?" Penny asked, adding two sugars and slowly stirring the coffee.

"Raj tried to make me watch it with him once, it looked very boring." Priya frowned. "I don't understand why they watch the same films over and over again. They're not very interesting."

"Well, Lord of the Rings actually has an interesting plot, it's pretty confusing but after watching it a few times, I started to get it. You know, Frodo Baggins, Middle Earth, _one ring to rule them all..._" Penny grinned as she remembered Leonard explaining the parts she didn't understand, even after the fifth time they'd watched it together. But her grin quickly faded as she saw Priya's confused, uninterested expression. She considered telling her about the time the guys had acquired one of the rings they had used in the film, and how Leonard had asked her to hold onto it... she wondered where it had ended up after all the arguing between the guys. "Have you really never watched it with Leonard?"

"He's tried to get me to watch it with him, but I never do."

"Oh." Penny rolled her eyes as she looked down at her coffee, and Priya read and replied to another text message. _Ooh, I'm Priya, I'm too good for fantasy films. _"Okay then."

"It's bad enough growing up with my brother and all his nerdy games," Priya said, putting her phone down again. "But all four of them watching those films and playing odd games, that's really weird. It's not my thing. I'm a grown woman, I don't want to spend my spare time playing board games!"

"Umm, sure." Penny took a sip of her coffee, trying to work out if Priya was purposely trying to give Penny more reasons to dislike her. Penny didn't necessarily understand the films they watched, or the appeal of the games, but they were her _friends_, and there was nothing wrong with the way they spent their free time. How had Priya not even made the effort to watch a film with Leonard, her boyfriend? Did she just not understand that that was part of who he was, those films, and games, and comic books, were what made him... him?

"We're going away next weekend though." Priya said, smiling slightly, as she picked up her coffee. "There's a lecture he wants to attend but afterwards we're going to a lovely hotel with a spa."

She couldn't be certain if Priya was only accompanying Leonard for the hotel and spa part of the trip - although Penny knew she certainly had loved the advantages of weekends like that with Leonard, she had always agreed to go to the lectures before knowing about the rest of the weekend. It bothered her, what Priya said, probably more than it should have, but it made her wonder if she was even interested in the part that Leonard was looking forward to the most. "Where is it?"

"It's in Westwood. I can't remember what it's called though. Raj said it was a really nice hotel, and they do the spa treatments in your room!" Priya grinned, before picking her phone up again to respond to yet another message.

"Hmm, that sounds good." Penny bit back the urge to ask her whether she even cared about the lecture that Leonard was probably really excited about, and sipped on her coffee again instead. "Leonard sure knows how to be romantic. Those weekends away are a little bit nerdy, but also really sweet. One time he wanted to stay and meet the guy doing the lecture, and he ended up talking to him for like an hour. But it was so cute, he was so excited that he got to meet the guy." Penny smiled fondly at the memory.

"Aw, that's nice," Priya smiled quickly, placing her phone back on the table and picking her coffee cup back up. Her statement didn't sound as sincere as Penny would have liked, but she told herself it was probably just because she was picking on anything Priya said or did that made her look like the wrong girlfriend for Leonard. It was selfish, but she couldn't help herself. "I'm just going to pop to the bathroom."

"Okay," Penny gave what she hoped wasn't a forced, sarcastic smile as Priya stood and left the table. Shaking her head as she pushed her now empty coffee cup to the side of the table, she sighed. This was more difficult than she had thought it would be.

"Well that looks like it's going well."

Penny almost jumped as she looked up to see Kim standing at the table again. "God, Kim, you scared me!" Penny giggled, before rubbing her forehead as she groaned. "Ugh, I thought it would be easier. I should like her, she's... nice, I guess. And we should have so much to talk about, she's dating my ex-boyfriend. But it's _so-o-o _awkward!"

"It looks it," Kim nodded with a frown.

"I mean, you've seen Leonard in here plenty of times, right? And they guys, when they come in and talk about their nerdy things and Sheldon always orders the exact same thing."

"The other day they were talking about watching Lord of the Rings with all the special features and stuff." Kim smirked. "Is that where that ring you had on a chain came from, that Leonard gave you, and then you punched the tall one?"

"Yeah, he tried to steal it from me in the middle of the night, so I punched him." Penny bit her lip. "I bet he was probably only awake because after I came to bed wearing that ring with my pajamas, Leonard and I had _really _amazing sex. And by _really, _I mean, _wow_. The tall one - Sheldon - he hates when we're loud. That's probably what kept him up in the first place."

"Ooh, go you," Kim wiggled her eyebrows and nudged Penny playfully.

"Shut up," Penny rolled her eyes, smirking. "Anyway, we're not here to talk about sex."

"Damn, I miss those days."

"Trust me, so do I." Penny nodded slowly, pursing her lips. "But as I was saying, he likes all those nerdy things, right? Well, his girlfriend, she hasn't even _seen _Lord of the Rings."

Kim raised a brow. "Nor had you until Leonard made you watch it like, five times."

"_Exactly._" Penny jutted her jaw out. "She's not even making an effort. A while back, she asked me how I got out of going to his lectures. Now she's all, 'oh, I'm too good for Middle Earth' - you'd think her brother being one of Leonard's best friends would mean she has at least _some _understanding of how important all this stuff is to him." Now that Penny was talking, it was kind of difficult to stop. Getting all this out to somebody who knew her, but didn't know Leonard or any of her other friends, or speak to them much for that matter, felt relieving. "And just now, she was talking about going away for the weekend with him. Leonard's going for the lecture, but she's just talking about the nice hotel with the spa. I mean, don't get me wrong, the spa part and the hotel part were always amazing. But I always went with him because he wanted to go to the lecture, the rest of the weekend was just him being all cute and romantic. I kind of feel like, if it was just the lecture, she wouldn't go for the weekend."

"Aw, well, maybe she just doesn't really get how important it is to him?" Kim wasn't sure what to say, she could tell these things were bothering Penny, but she didn't know Priya enough to try make the situation seem better.

"She could at least try." Penny muttered. "He's so passionate about all these things and I feel like she doesn't understand even that."

Putting a hand on Penny's shoulder, Kim sighed and gave her a sympathetic smile. "You know, even if this doesn't go well, and you still hate her guts, at least you tried. Leonard will be happy about that."

"That's true." Penny couldn't deny that that perked her up. "Sorry, Kim, I'm taking up your time bitching about her. I really shouldn't do that."

"What the bitching? Nah, that's fine. Taking up my time is fine too, there aren't many customers, and when have we ever used our time at work wisely?" She stood up straight, taking her notepad from her apron. "Okay, Priya's coming back. I'll get you another coffee. Just... remember, it took you a long time to understand Leonard, and his friends, and what you called their 'quirky habits' - hopefully, with your influence, she'll get there too. I know you hate the thought of it, but she's dating Leonard, so she likes him, and it's awkward for her too, talking to his ex-girlfriend. The guy loved you, Penny, you probably scare the crap out of Priya. Now quick, pretend we haven't been talking about her."

Chewing on her lower lip, Penny looked thoughtfully at Kim, taking in what she had just said. Perhaps she was right, Priya was talking to Leonard's ex-girlfriend who just happened to live across the hall, and who she knew had slept with him behind her back. Maybe she was just finding it difficult to settle into Leonard's life, with it being so different to Priya's. Shaken from her thoughts as Priya sat down and accepted another cup of coffee from Kim, Penny cleared her throat as Kim walked away.

"So," Penny fiddled with one of the dessert menus on the table. "I know you said a few weeks ago that Star Wars wasn't your thing, but have you ever played the PlayStation game?"

"There's a game?"

"Yeah. I know, it doesn't sound really cool, but it's pretty fun. Leonard loves the Lego Star Wars one. The walking Lego Stormtrooper always made me laugh for some reason. You should play it with him some time - I know it sounds dorky, but it's not that bad." Penny giggled. "Though once I accidentally killed me and Leonard in the game because I couldn't work out how to kill the thingies... I can't remember what they're called."

"I suppose playing the game on the PlayStation wouldn't be as bad as watching the movie." Priya shrugged. "Sheldon tried to get me involved in Halo night once."

"Ooh, how did that go?" Penny asked, almost excited; she was good at Halo, she liked Halo. Probably only because she was good at it, but still, she liked it.

"Not bad! I actually did pretty well, Leonard just told me what to do and I killed Sheldon a few times!" Priya grinned, evidently impressed with herself. "And I killed Raj too, he was on my team but it was payback for the time he told our parents I was at a party when I said I was at a study sleepover with my friends."

_Okay, maybe we can talk about Halo, then. Not something I'm usually really enthusiastic about, but okay. _"Sheldon really hates when someone is better than him, especially if they haven't played it much before."

"He is definitely a sore loser, isn't he?" Priya laughed with Penny, and the pair thanked them as Kim brought over their coffees, quickly raising her eyebrows at Penny. "I don't see how Leonard puts up with him and his weird rules in that agreement they have."

"Mm, me neither," Penny shook her head. "I think he's just used to it now. Hell, I'm pretty much used to it now. I don't think I'd be able to live with Sheldon though. This one morning..." Penny paused, realizing it was probably best to cut out part of her story. "One morning, I was making French Toast. I offered some to Sheldon, but he said it wasn't French Toast day, it was oatmeal day. Apparently changing his breakfast schedule was impossible. He actually _threw _the toast out, I saw it in the trash."

"Boy, if Sheldon's that bad over something as little as making the wrong breakfast, goodness knows what else Leonard has to put up with on a daily basis." Stirring her coffee, Priya sighed. "It's irritating enough just staying over there every few nights."

"I know." Penny replied with a small laugh; the conversation was getting slightly easier now. "There used to be a 'Penny specific' section of the Roommate Agreement when Leonard and I were together." There was a beat of awkward silence, and Penny laughed again to pass over awkward discussion of her previous relationship with Leonard. "I'm warning you in advance, be prepared for the 'Priya specific' section to hit you like a fast car _very _soon. I'm sure Sheldon's already drafted one. Just pretend you've read it and sign where the little crosses are. Hmm, though since you're a lawyer, maybe you can work out some kind of better agreement with him."

"I'll definitely keep that in mind. Perhaps I can use it to change other parts of the agreement too. You know, one night Leonard and I were watching a movie and having a glass of wine, and we clinked our glasses. Sheldon came out from his room and reminded us that it was against the roommate agreement to clink our glasses after ten o'clock." Priya shook her head in amusement. "I'm not even sure how he hears that."

"Ah, well, he has Vulcan hearing. He hears everything. Even with his noise cancelling headphones."

"That sure would explain a lot."

Picking up her coffee, Penny watched as Priya once more read over a text message and tapping out a reply, this time taking slightly longer and with a smile on her face.

"Who're you texting?" Penny asked, with a nosy, but hopefully friendly and playful, smile.

"What? Oh, Sanjay." Priya shrugged, not looking away from her phone.

"Umm... Sanjay as in your ex-boyfriend Sanjay?" Penny raised a brow, trying not to frown.

"Yeah." Priya continued with writing her text, unaware of Penny's unimpressed expression, until she locked her phone and looked back up. "Oh, it's not big deal. It's like you and Leonard, we still talk sometimes. We're friends." With a smile, she picked up her cup and took a few sips of coffee.

"Well, you've been texting Sanjay more than you've been talking to me this whole time. And also, you told Leonard to stop hanging out with me. Why do you still get to talk to _your _ex-boyfriend?" Penny could feel herself getting angry; she didn't care that Priya's attention had been more on her phone than on their conversation. What bothered her was that she seemed completely at ease with the fact that she was happily texting this Sanjay, and that if Leonard knew this, he'd probably be very hurt - and it was unlikely that he _did _know, because he would have mentioned it when had he told Penny about Sanjay sending Priya messages over Facebook.

"Oh, it's just texting."

"So it's okay for you to do it, but if I text Leonard it's _not _okay?"

"All me and Sanjay do is text. He's in India. What's the harm in that?"

"He is your _ex-boyfriend_." Penny sighed. _Oh God what I wouldn't give to tell Priya all the things me and Leonard have been doing and put that bitch in her place. Which is India. _"Look, Leonard is my best friend, it's weird not talking to him. I'm only making a big deal out of this because if you still get to talk to Sanjay, I should be allowed to talk to Leonard."

Priya sat quietly for a moment as she looked at her now empty coffee cup. She couldn't deny that Penny had a point there. "I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you came over to eat with everybody sometimes."

"Okay." Penny blinked a few times, slightly surprised that Priya had accepted what she had told her and actually invited her to eat with the group again. "Umm, thanks."

They smiled at each other again awkwardly, the ease of their short conversation gone.

"Is Sheldon's takeout order still the same every night?" Penny asked in a desperate attempt to find something to talk about.

"It hasn't changed, not that I know of."

"Good, good."

Another moment of silence passed, this time broken by Priya. "It would be nice to have someone like you there, actually. They all talk about their games and comic books and what they do at work. It gets a bit boring, you know how it is."

_Boring? _Penny felt the anger flare up again. _Boring? That's your boyfriend you're talking about. You should take at least some kind of interest in what he and his friends talk about. _"Sure." Penny stood up, picking up her handbag. "Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Swinging her bag onto her shoulder, she walked quickly through to the staff room, slamming the door closed behind her since Priya wouldn't see her do that anyway, and she needed to get some of that anger out of her in some physical form. Throwing herself onto one of the chairs, she put her head in her hands and groaned loudly.

"Penny?"

Looking up, Penny saw Kim's head poke through the door.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Not really." Penny shook her head. _I haven't been able to tell anybody that in a long time. _

Kim stepped through the door, closing it behind her, and came to sit next to Penny. "That Priya still being a bitch?"

"Yeah." Penny threw her hands onto her lap. "She's not even doing anything on purpose. It just _really _gets to me how she just..." Blinking back tears, Penny tilted her head up to the ceiling. "The worst part is, is that we actually found things to talk about, and I thought that maybe I was just making her out to be this stupid bitch. But it just feels like she doesn't give a damn about the things Leonard likes, or what Leonard wants, or what her brother and his friends are interested in."

"That must be difficult."

"She must be pretty great," Penny continued, now looking straight ahead of her. "Because I know Leonard wouldn't like her so much if she wasn't. And I see it, I see how perfect she is for him at first glance. She's smart, beautiful, she has a great job, she's educated, she comes from India, she's not a mess." Shoulders slouching, Penny shook her head. "But beneath all that, I don't see it. I wish I saw in her, what Leonard sees."

Kim put her hand over Penny's, but didn't say anything. She could tell that Penny wasn't done talking for now, years of working together and having been in the same position many times before meant that they understood when to just stay quiet.

"I know I wasn't perfect for Leonard," Penny said quietly. "I was like... an anomaly in Leonard's dating life. I dropped out of college, and I've been working here for _way _too long, pretending I have some chance of become an actress one day. I never had the guts to tell Leonard how I felt about him. I thought putting myself out there was the worst thing that I could do, but I was so, _so _wrong." Pausing, Penny took a deep breath. "But I cared about him. Maybe I don't understand his job, and I find physics lectures boring, and the films he watches confuse me, but I loved all those things about him, because he was so passionate about them."

As much as Kim wanted to tell Penny that she could tell that she cared, she didn't think it would help. Rather, it would just reinforce that what Penny couldn't see in Priya, were the things that other people could see in Penny. Instead, she just squeezed her hand gently.

Penny pouted her lips shakily. "God, this is so stupid."

"It's not stupid," Kim said quickly. "It's just difficult, and stressful."

"It is." Penny nodded, taking a long, shaky breath. "Stupid, difficult, stressful. Being the ex-girlfriend _sucks_."

"It really does. But you'll be alright, Penny. Leonard still cares about you, and you still care about him, right? You haven't lost everything. Things are just going to fall into place different to what you expected. Remember when you broke up with Kurt, and you just slept with as many guys as possible to get over him?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. I was even worse back then."

"Yes, and no." Kim patted Penny's hand. "We were both like that back then, competing who got the most guys. But now, look at you. You've slept with _one _guy since Leonard. You're not a mess; you're just more grown up than you used to be. You're dealing with it. In a tougher, more painful way - which is, in a way, worse. But you're not being stupid about it."

"Mmh." Penny groaned. Part of her wanted to tell Kim that actually, she was being stupid about it; she'd slept with Leonard. Maybe it wasn't numerous strangers, and there was a lot more emotion behind it with Leonard, but it wasn't exactly responsible. However, that was one of the things she just wasn't ready to share with anybody, not yet anyway. Gulping, Penny looked at Kim. "Thanks for listening, Kim."

"Anytime, Penny. These lockers have heard so much crap about our lives." Kim stood up. "You want me to tell Priya the manager asked you to cover a shift so she'll have to leave? I'll make her pay the bill."

Penny smiled. "Hmm, I'd like that. Just... don't throw coffee in her face like I did when Jake tried to get back together with you."

"I'll try my best. You gonna be okay?"

"Eventually? I hope so. Right now? I'm just going to wait here a while until I don't feel like taking my anger out on unsuspecting drivers."

"Okay, text me so I know you got back okay without killing anyone, yeah?"

Penny giggled. "I'll try my best."

Watching as Kim left, Penny sighed, the comfort she had received from talking to a friend quickly being replaced by the anger she had been feeling, as it took her over. She had to admit, it was good to get a few things off her chest, knowing that Kim wasn't going to ask her a fountain of questions that she wasn't ready to answer. But the anger was still there as she slid her handbag off her shoulder and took out her phone, unlocking it with slightly too much aggression towards the keyboard on the screen, and opening the messages icon.

Penny wasn't sure what made her do it. Maybe it was how angry she was at Priya, or the fact that they had been talking about him, and it had reminded her of just how much she missed him, and how he deserved somebody who, unlike Priya, actually cared and appreciated everything about him. Maybe she had just had too much caffeine, or she was just really tired. Whatever it was, she wasn't sure, but she typed out the message to Leonard quickly and sent it without even thinking about it.

_**I miss you.**_

* * *

**A/N - And with that... I will see you all with an update in a little over a weeks time when I'm back from my mini ****vaca! (Until then, starting tomorrow I've got a nice series of fluff I'll be sharing from my spot on the beach, that's been sitting on my laptop for ages... so keep an eye out for that!) Let me know what you think :) **


	42. Chapter 42

Leonard raised a brow as he read Penny's text message.

_I miss you_. What did that mean?

Was she drunk? Leonard felt a stab of disappointment. It had just gone midday, surely she couldn't be drunk at this time and sending him texts like that - she only usually said things like that when she was drunk, so it was his first theory. He felt bad that it was the conclusion he jumped to, but based on past experience, it was likely.

But what if she wasn't? Perhaps she did miss him, and just wanted to let him know. He couldn't tell if there was more to it than that - if she wanted to talk, or if she just missed his company, or just felt the need to say something to him. It could mean that she really did miss _him, _Leonard thought, and his heart skipped a beat as the smallest of smiles formed on his face. There wasn't a smiley face after it, it was spelt correctly, there was a full stop... it didn't look like a casual comment. There wasn't even an 'x' at the end, like she'd usually put.

Though he _did _overthink everything, so he really couldn't be sure what the text meant. It could mean nothing. But at the same time, it could mean a lot. Drumming the fingers of his free hand on his desk, he clicked the lock button on his phone a few times before deciding to reply to the message.

_**I miss you too. **_

_Send. _There. He could be just as ambiguous as she was with her text message. That, and it was the only response he could think of. Truthful, but could be adapted to whatever the situation was with _her _text.

Turning back to the papers he had been looking at, he sighed. Trying to understand Penny could sometimes be more difficult than the equations he spent days trying to balance. At least with equations, he eventually got an answer. With Penny, he could spend weeks trying to get something out of her, to no avail. He tried to focus back on the equation he had been working on before he had received Penny's message, but it didn't work. All he could see was her text, and run through not only how bad he felt that he had instantly thought she must be drunk, but also that it could mean that she really did miss him, and everything that could mean. Was she lonely? Would he finally get some answers as to everything that had been going on recently? Did she just miss the sex? Before he could consider more possibilities, he received another message from her.

_**Are you working? Do you want to go for a coffee?**_

Okay, maybe she wasn't drunk. Leonard smiled slightly - she wanted to have coffee with him, she _did _miss him. He supposed he could go out to meet her, he wasn't exactly getting anywhere with this equation, and he hadn't had lunch yet anyway. He had no idea what Priya was doing today, so he wasn't exactly swamped.

_**Yeah, but I'm not busy. Stuck on equation. We can grab a coffee and some lunch at Starbucks on E Colorado? **_

Leonard frowned, deciding to add something before he sent the message.

_**Everything ok? **_

Hitting send after deciding that didn't look too intrusive, but still showing he cared, he picked up his papers and shoved them into his bag. He kept his phone in his hand as he locked his office and headed over to his lab to make sure everything was switched off. As he went to shut the lights out, his phone buzzed and he unlocked it to read the message.

_**Yeah. I'll meet you there in 10.**_

From that message, he could instantly tell that everything probably wasn't ok. It worried him, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to get much out of her until he actually saw her. And that was if she even talked about whatever it was that was bothering her. Shutting off the lights and locking the door, he headed out to his car. It wasn't a long drive, and he kept his mind on the equation to prevent his mind going into overdrive trying to work out what Penny's texts had meant. It wasn't too busy, so he found a parking spot a few meters away from the entrance, and then headed inside. He hadn't seen her car outside, and he couldn't see her inside, so got a table in the corner by the window. He took his phone out and re-read her last few messages almost obsessively, before he heard movement opposite him and looked up, hitting the home button of his phone as he smiled up at Penny, who sat down.

"Hey."

"Hey." Penny responded quickly, the corners of her mouth barely turning into a smile.

She looked like she had been crying, Leonard thought. Her eyes were slightly red, and there was a small mascara smudge in the corner of her eye. She was still in her work uniform, and she looked upset, tired and angry, her shoulders slouched over and her attempt at a smile had instantly flickered back to a painful frown. Her eyes had left his and were staring down at her hands on the table in front of her. All he wanted to do in that moment was hug her, and hold her, and let her cry, but he knew with Penny that she would only scare from anything like that.

"I'll get the coffee and food, okay?" Leonard said softly, standing up. She nodded and he touched her shoulder gently as he walked past.

He picked up two salad boxes and ordered two coffees, their usual order, giving his name to the barista. He brought the salads over to their table silently and went back for the coffees. As he waited, he glanced over at Penny, who was now staring out of the window. It hurt him to see her like this. Desperate to find out what was wrong, he sighed, knowing she was unlikely to spill. But he knew, even if he didn't find out what was wrong, that he was still going to be there for her without a doubt. She had asked to see him, and even if they sat here in silence, he would do it, if that's what she wanted. Another barista called his name, and he picked up the two coffees, picked up a few sugar sachets and brought them over, sitting down.

"You remember my order." Penny said, turning to look at him. "Black coffee, two brown sugars, no milk. Chicken Caesar Salad box."

"It's the same as mine." Leonard nodded.

Sliding the coffee closer to her, Penny let out a light, but genuine giggle. "They still spell it _Lenard_. Like the one at the mall. They always spell it wrong here, too."

"Yeah. I guess the 'o' in my name is just too much for them to handle." Leonard chuckled.

"The extra 'o'... maybe that's what 'the big o' really is." Penny smirked. "Le-_oh !-_nard."

Leonard raised a brow. She was smirking, but he could still tell she wasn't really happy. But at least she wasn't being distant; that was a good sign. Nevertheless, he wasn't quite sure how to react to her comment. Was it meant to be suggestive, or just a joke? The way she had said his name at the end made it sound suggestive... he loved the way it sounded. But as she opened up her salad box and returned to frowning, he wondered if it was just a joke, something that had popped into her mind and been spoken aloud for fun. Unable to think of a response, he watched as she picked at her salad, stabbing her fork with a little too much aggression, making the box move slightly each time she did it.

"Are you taking your feelings out on the salad? Because I bought that for you to eat."

Looking up, Penny shot Leonard a glare, before picking up the fork, which was crammed with anything she'd stabbed well enough to attach to it, and putting it to her mouth. He watched as she chewed on the food, again uncertain as to how to proceed. His comment had been made as more of a joke, but it had only seemed to anger her. The concern on his face must have shown, because moments later Penny's facial expression softened.

"Sorry," she said quietly, looking back down at her salad sheepishly.

"It's okay." Leonard watched her continue eating her salad, this time less aggressively, and began his own, before looking back up at her. Chewing on a piece of chicken, he decided to take a small risk. "Bad day?"

Penny paused for a moment. She wanted to tell him, so much, how her coffee with Priya had gone. How much she couldn't stand the fact that Priya cared so little for Leonard's interests and passions. That Priya was still texting her ex-boyfriend and wasn't bothered by that at all. The way she wanted to know exactly what Leonard saw in Priya, because she saw nothing beyond the obvious smart, hot, exotic lawyer thing.

But she didn't, and she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to upset Leonard like that, or let her own jealousy drive her opinion of Priya. Maybe she was different with Leonard, or perhaps Leonard didn't notice the flaws that Penny could see all too clearly.

Though a large part of her was almost scared of telling him. What if she told him, and he got angry at her for saying horrible things about his girlfriend? Despite him not being an angry person, she was still afraid. Afraid of being told that she had no right to judge Priya's disinterest in his hobbies and work, when Penny herself had never understood it either. Afraid that he'd be angry and upset that she hadn't tried hard enough to get over herself to see the good things in Priya, letting jealousy cloud her judgment. She knew it was unlikely, but she was too afraid of upsetting him and loosing him as a friend, to Priya. He liked Priya, or loved her, though she hated the thought of it. She knew she had long lost her right to interfere with his romantic choices.

"Kind of." Penny shrugged sadly. "I just had a tough morning, that's all."

"Oh. Crappy customers at work?" Leonard asked, knowing that there was a lot she wasn't telling him, but was bothering her immensely.

"Yeah." Penny nodded slowly. She looked up at him, lips pursed tightly in consideration. "Umm, I had my coffee thing with Priya."

_Ah. _Leonard gave a small nod of understanding. He didn't know they had gone to coffee today. Come to think of it, he didn't even know that Priya had the time off work to have coffee with Penny. She hadn't even mentioned it. Either she was nervous about it, or she didn't think it important enough to tell him. He hoped it was the first. Could it really have gone that badly that Penny was so upset about it? He knew that Penny still wasn't entirely comfortable with him and Priya, but then again he wasn't comfortable with the idea of Penny and _any _guy, so he understood that. But surely, surely it wasn't _that _upsetting for her?

"How did it go?"

"It was... it was fine." Penny lied, sighing. "You know, kind of awkward, the girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend and..." Penny paused and bit here lip, deciding perhaps finishing her sentence with 'and us sleeping together behind her back' wasn't the best way to end that sentence.

"Oh. _Oh_..." Leonard's eyes widened slightly as he thought it through. There was the whole element of what him and Penny had been doing, which he guessed, and hoped, Penny hadn't brought up to Priya. That would definitely add extra awkwardness on Penny's part. "Yeah."

"Mm." Penny took a sip of her coffee. "But it was... you know... we did find stuff to talk about. So," she managed a small smile, "it was okay, I guess. Just after a crappy morning it was a bit much, I guess."

"Well, it means a _lot _to me that you two took the time to hang out together." Leonard grinned at her. It was the truth; even though Penny was his ex-girlfriend, she was still his best friend, and it meant everything to him that she was trying her best with his girlfriend. The thought of Penny drifting away from him, just because of Priya, frightened him. No matter what had happened between the two of them, she was a big part of his life that he refused to lose. "Thank you, Penny."

It was moments just like this that kept Penny going. His smile, the gratitude and respect that he radiated kept her strong. No matter how difficult and painful it was seeing him happy with another woman, no matter how much she disliked that woman, the way he expressed how much her efforts meant to him, reminded her that he didn't want her out of his life. And just like Kim had said, things would fall into place differently to what she had expected, but if he was happy, she could manage, somehow.

"It's okay." Penny gave him a small nod, and a shy smile that melted his heart. They sat quietly for a moment, smiling across the table at each other, occasionally sipping at their coffee. A sudden urge overcame Penny to kiss his sweet, smiling lips, and she cleared her throat and bit down on her lip to push the urge away. "I've had a lot of coffee today," she said, out of the blue, to divert her mind.

"Well, you'll just be extra-awake tonight." Leonard chuckled. He wondered if he should ask about her morning, and what had made her so visibly upset. As he looked at her, he noticed the small mascara smudge by her eye again. That was a small enough point to bring up, and give her a chance to explain if she wanted to. "Your mascara's a little smudged."

"Huh?" Penny blinked. "Oh." She pulled her phone from her handbag and slid the camera up, switching it to the front view camera so she could see herself. Holding it close to her eye, she frowned in concentration as she inspected the smudge. _He's going to think I've been crying. He always knows. _"Damn. Cheap mascara." Licking a finger, she rubbed at the smudge, quickly removing the small black stain that had given away more than she had wanted.

"You wanna talk about your crappy morning?" Leonard asked quietly, putting a hand out in front of him in case she wanted to take it, as she put her phone back into her handbag.

He wasn't telling her to share, he was asking her if she wanted to. Penny sighed. She wished she could tell him that the real reason her morning had been so bad, and the reason she had mascara in the corner of her eye, was because of Priya and how upset she had gotten. She wanted to admit to him that after speaking to Kim, she'd let a few tears fall, but had refused to let the rest of them go. Usually, he'd have been the one she'd shared all of this with, but it was another one of those things she couldn't do anymore. But she did know he wouldn't pester her further if she said no, that he'd just accept what she said, and so she gave him a small, sad smile.

"No, it's okay," she shook her head, putting her hand over his, before looking up at him with a grin. "Tell me about your day, Leonard."

"Really?" Leonard was slightly shocked; nobody had said that to him in a long time. In fact, he was pretty certain the last person who had said that was Penny. He smiled back at her; that was something he always loved, how she took an interest in his day, even if she knew she wouldn't understand half of what she spoke about or found some of it boring.

"Yeah. I want to hear about your day."

"Okay." Leonard found himself grinning. "Well, this morning, Sheldon didn't complain about how my new mouthwash had too strong a smell for his liking, which was kinda nice. There wasn't any traffic on the way to work so we only had to play a few rounds of 'I Spy' and I got most of Sheldon's. That bugged him, so I felt pretty great."

Penny giggled. She wondered what mouthwash he was using now. "That's not an all bad morning then."

"I know. Then I went to the lab and set up for an experiment I'm going to start working on next week, that was pretty fun, I'm looking forward to it." He paused, removing his hand from Penny's to pick up his coffee with both hands and take a long sip. "Mm, but then I had to work on my papers. I got through about half of it, but now I'm just stuck on this stupid equation. Look, I got this far..." Picking up his bag from the floor, Leonard pulled out the papers and placed them in front of him. He put his bag back down and turned to the page of the equation he couldn't work out. "And now I'm stuck."

"Yikes." Penny glanced at the equation. "That looks... confusing. What's the equation for?"

"Radius of a black hole." Leonard muttered, taking a pen from his jacket pocket, brow furrowed. "But something's wrong with the equation and it's really pissing me off that I can't work it out."

Despite Leonard's obvious frustration of not being able to work out his equation, Penny smiled and bit her lower lip. This is what she loved. How passionate he was about his work. She could see that passion right there in front of her, and it was kind of infectious. "What're the little letters in the equation at the top? They look funny."

Leonard looked up at her, brow still furrowed, but face more relaxed. He was silent for a moment, surprised that she had taken an interest in his equation, and was actually asking about it. He stared at her as she glanced at the equation at the top, and down at the bottom one.

"Ooh, wait, the top one... is the same as the bottom, but the bottom one has numbers instead of those funny letters."

"Yeah." Leonard said slowly. "Umm, the top one is just before I put in the dimensions. The little letters are called indices."

"Yay, go me!" Penny grinned proudly. "Getting my nerd on. Okay... so the indices are dimensions?"

"Kind of. They represent the number of dimensions you're working with. There are four dimensions, and they can be 0-3, or 1-4. I'm working with two dimensions here."

"Huh. Okay." Penny leant forwards to get a closer look. "How come that one," she pointed at the number 3 at the end of the equation, "is 3... if they're meant to be dimensions, shouldn't it be 2, like the ones before the equals sign?"

Leonard's head snapped up to look at her and his jaw dropped, along with his pen. Penny looked at him expectantly, and he glanced back down at the equation, and then back up at her. He hadn't even told her they had to be the same. More importantly, how had _he_ not realized they weren't the same numbers? No, that wasn't the part that shocked him, that he, the physicist, had made that stupid mistake. It was that Penny, Penny who constantly got crap for her lack of education, had been the one to point it out to him and solve the problem he'd been having.

"How did you... how did you work that out?"

"I dunno, it looked pretty obvious." Penny shrugged, oblivious to his complete shock. "You said they have to be 0-3 or 1-4. I thought it had to be the same."

"Oh. Yeah, it is, now that I see it, I just..."

"Didn't expect me to come up with an answer?" Penny shrugged playfully. "Penny to the rescue."

Still in awe, Leonard replaced the '3' with a '2' and looked back up at Penny, who had gone back to sipping on her coffee. "I would have spent so long trying to work that out," he grinned now. "I'm glad we met up for coffee!"

"Me too." Penny put her coffee down. She hesitated for a moment, before speaking again, with a more serious tone. "I really do miss you, you know, Leonard."

His grin turned into a soft smile. The expression on her face was completely different to the one that she had been wearing when she'd first sat down in front of him. It was soft, sincere with her words, and was accompanied by the smallest of smiles. He didn't know where her anger and hurt from earlier had gone, and he knew it would probably return later. But they had just sat here, talking, in each others company, and whatever had been bothering her was gone, even if it was just temporarily. And he was there, he had listened to her and talked to her and quite possibly put that smile on her face, however slight it was. But she had said it, she missed him, she'd said it out loud to him. It warmed his heart completely. Part of him felt guilty that all this time he'd _wanted _her to miss him, and to tell him, to reciprocate what he felt. But he knew a lot of that was because he didn't want to lose her, and knowing that she missed him, and still wanted to be around him, made him that much happier.

"I miss you too, Penny."

He saw the tears in her eyes but her smile didn't waiver, and she put her hand back over his. They sat there for a while, contentedly, just smiling at each other over their coffees and his physics work. A moment of small truths from Penny meant more than she expressed, but her calm, comfortable manner that followed reminded him that she really did mean what she said. It was rare for her to do something like this, even just sitting there silently like this, and he adored the little moments like this that she brought.

And then suddenly, they both felt it. The sexual tension that had been there, but not acted upon, for quite a while now. Without seeing each other as often, or just not being put in situations in which is was felt more obviously, or even out of _trying _to avoid it returning - it was there, glaringly obvious as they looked at each other, hand in hand. Almost out of the blue, except it wasn't, because Leonard knew he had felt it at times, such as when she had driven him home after his car had broken down but brushed it off. Today, he had been so worried about her being upset, and frustrated at his equation, that he hadn't felt it up until now. And from the look in her eyes, neither had she. He knew he shouldn't act upon it, he knew it would be wrong, he knew he should just ignore it. He'd already been a horrible boyfriend and the world's biggest ass, and he was happy with Priya, and Priya was finally beginning to trust Penny more. But it was difficult; because despite the voice in his head yelling to quickly change the subject, his heart and his body screamed _just kiss her_. It didn't make any sense to him, whatsoever, but the look on Penny's face only urged his heart and body on and seemed to fight back the correct, logical parts of his mind.

He saw her eyelids flutter, her face move closer to his, and his heart sped up dangerously fast. He parted his lips slightly, and felt his own head inch closer to hers.

But in the end, his mind somehow won the battle. "I need to go to the bathroom." Leonard said, clearing his throat, pulling back in his chair. He tried not to think about how disappointed he was that his mind had won over his body. He should be grateful, but he wasn't.

"Oh. Umm, yeah." Penny let out a deep breath and blinked a few times. "Me too. I should probably get going after that."

Awkwardly, they both got up, faces slightly flushed from doing nothing, but wired with the thought of almost doing something. They picked up their bags and looked at each other nervously.

"Uh, I think the toilets are that way," Leonard gestured towards the back of the store. He didn't know why he'd said it; they'd been here together plenty of times and knew exactly where the toilets were. It just seemed necessary to say something, anything, to skim over what had, or hadn't, happened.

He followed Penny through to the back of the store, stepping through the door that read 'Toilets' and came before the two next doors separating the male and female bathrooms.

Instead of walking through the door that read 'Gentlemen', he found his lips locked on Penny's as he pushed her up against the wall between the two doors. And it was _amazing _to the point his mind surrendered battle against his body. The way her lips instantly responded to his, her arms wrapping around his neck, and the little sound of surprise she made as her eyelids fluttered closed and he pinned her between his body and the wall.

"_Leonard_." Penny mumbled, tilting her head back as she pushed her hips towards his. The way he could see her losing control and the desperate tone of her voice only spurred him on.

Moving his mouth from her lips to her neck, he let his tongue and teeth work the spot he knew was most sensitive. Hands planted firmly on her hips, he was rewarded by a breathless moan, and he began to suck at the skin there. The way she lost it when he did that mesmerized him.

"Oh _God_..." Penny breathed, her hands curling into his hair with a desperation he couldn't remember receiving from her before.

Perhaps that's what it was, the newfound desperation he had found in Penny, which made him pull away. She lowered her head slightly to re-capture his lips, eyes opening when she didn't find them. Her confused expression was painful, and for a moment he almost kissed her again. But his mind had found its way again. Only it wasn't saying 'you shouldn't do this, you have a girlfriend' - it was telling him 'you shouldn't do this, Leonard, it's only going to hurt Penny'. Perhaps it wasn't the _right _logic or thought order, but it was the right thing to do.

"Penny." Leonard said quietly, begging her apology with his eyes. "I shouldn't." And then, although he wasn't sure exactly why, "I'm sorry."

Her eyes stayed on his for a moment, and he could have sworn he saw tears begin to form before she looked down with a heavy sigh. "I know. It's okay. You're right." Shaking her head, she frowned. "I'm so sorry, Leonard."

"Hey." Wrapping his arms around her gently, carefully, he let her head rest on his shoulder. "_Hey_. You have nothing to be sorry for, Penny."

They stayed like that for a few short seconds, before Penny pulled away. He could see she didn't want to talk, or stay, so he stepped back, letting go of her. She looked up at him for the briefest of moments, before walking back out the door. He turned around and watched it swing shut, before spinning round again and heading into the men's bathroom, slamming the door shut with more force and strength than he knew he possessed.

"I am such an _idiot_."

* * *

"Penny?" Kim raised a brow as she stepped into the staff area, to see Penny going through the contents of a purse.

Penny practically jumped and almost dropped the purse. "Crap, Kim, you scared me!"

"What are you doing? I thought you left?" She walked closer to Penny. "Is that _my _handbag?"

"Umm, yeah." Penny mumbled. "I need concealer. You _always _have concealer."

"So badly that you had to come back here and break into my locker?" Kim frowned.

"Yes." Penny finally looked up at Kim.

"Penny... have you been crying? What happened?" Sitting down next to her, Kim gasped. "Is that a _hickey_?!"

* * *

**A/N - Sorry for the long wait, I hope the almost 5000 words makes up for it! Big thank you to Tensor for explaining some physics and helping me out with the whole equation thing. I am honestly hopeless at physics so if any of it came out wrong in this chapter, sorry! Let me know what you think, I spent so long debating whether the whole kissing and hickey thing would happen and I decided yes, yes it should... and I'm glad you all liked the Kim character last chapter! Hope you enjoyed, you know I love your reviews :) **


	43. Chapter 43

**Happy Hello Kitty Monday! :) **

* * *

"I need concealer." Penny repeated, looking unblinkingly at Kim.

"Okay." Kim said quietly. Taking her handbag from Penny, she unzipped one of the pockets, taking out a small make-up bag, from which she pulled out a liquid concealer. She held it out to Penny as she put her bag down to the side. "Here."

"Thank you." Penny got up and walked through to the bathroom, leaving the door open as she switched on the light and stood in front of the mirror.

Slowly, she moved her hair over to her left shoulder. Kim watched as Penny observed her reflection, looking at the obvious mark on the right hand side of her neck. Tilting her head up ever so slightly, she ran a finger over it, breathing shakily, lips pouted. Moving that hand to take off the lid of the concealer, she continued to stare at her neck. Putting a small amount of concealer onto her fingers, Penny placed the small bottle on the sink and brought her hand up to her neck. Her brows furrowed for a moment, and Kim wondered if she was going to start crying. This wasn't like the times before, when they would giggle as they covered up their hickeys before work, gossiping about what had happened. It looked as though she almost didn't want to cover it up. For a moment, Penny simply stood there, hand shaking slightly as it hovered just below the mark, before pressing her hand and the concealer onto it. She rubbed it on gently, checking her work in the mirror, her expression still blank, mascara still smudged around her eyes.

Penny gulped as she took her hand away from her neck and inched closer to the mirror. She'd covered it up, like she had many times before. Only those times, it had been funny, and emotionally insignificant. Now it was like covering the only part of Leonard she had on her, and despite knowing she had to hide it to avoid the questions, she wanted to see it. He'd done that to her, she'd loved how it felt, his lips on her neck, it was like a temporary tattoo of his affection. She loved how he'd kissed her, made her knees go weak, and focused on her neck because he knew that drove her crazy. Maybe he knew that she needed that extra bit of attention where she was sensitive because she hadn't had anything like that in a long time, and he could have completely finished her with his lips in little more than five minutes with how turned on she was.

After a few moments, she took a deep breath and put the lid back on the concealer, and walked back out to sit next to Kim. Handing back the little bottle, she heard Kim drop it into her bag. They sat in silence for a moment, Penny simply staring at the floor as Kim looked at her.

"I finished my shift." Kim said eventually. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Penny shrugged. "I didn't have any concealer. It ran out so I haven't been using it and I keep forgetting to buy a new one."

"Yeah, I got that." Kim raised a brow. "You want a make-up wipe?" When Penny looked at Kim blankly, she sighed. "Your eyes. You've smudged all your mascara."

"Oh." Penny sighed. She hadn't even thought about how her eyes must look, not even when she had looked at herself in the mirror. "Yeah, please."

Kim reached down and pulled out a packet of make-up wipes and handed them to Penny. Taking them in hand, Penny got back up at stared at herself in the mirror of the bathroom. Kim could see her eyes fall momentarily back to the hickey, before she took out a wipe and removed the black smudges around her eyes. She did it quickly, and put them into Kim's bag, without sitting back down.

"Thanks." Penny mumbled, looking at her hands. "Um, I have to go, I'm meeting Bernadette and Amy soon."

She turned swiftly, picking up her handbag, which had been dropped on the bench. Kim stood up quickly and grabbed her arm, tugging her to a stop. "Penny."

"What?" Penny tried to pull her arm free, turning to face Kim.

"You can't just break into my locker, look at me with those sad eyes, cover up a hickey and clean off your ruined make-up and then leave without an explanation."

"Let go of me!" Again, Penny tugged at her arm, to no avail. "I swear to God Kim if you leave a bruise on my arm I'm going go all Nebraska on your ass."

"Okay, when has that threat _ever _worked? Like you would dare go Nebraska on this Black Belt Bitch."

Penny glared at Kim for a moment. "Just let me go!"

"Fine." Kim let go of Penny's arm, and stood there with folded arms as Penny walked over to the door.

But just as she knew would happen, Penny stopped just before the door, looking at the floor, one hand on the handle. There was a long silence, though she could practically hear Penny working up the courage to say something.

"He kissed me." Penny said shakily. "I kissed him first but when he kissed me back and pinned me against that wall I lost my mind in the most amazing way. _God_. It shouldn't have happened and he stopped it but... I would let you karate chop all my limbs off if he'd finished what I started."

Kim didn't have to ask who 'he' was. Her heart fell slightly; she could hear the hurt in Penny's voice. Evidently she had no idea just how deep her feelings were, she never did, and she'd hurt herself with them unintentionally.

"He has a girlfriend, Penny." Kim sighed. "And if he hadn't stopped, wouldn't it hurt you more? Seeing him walk back to her after the way she just treated you? Wouldn't that be more painful, having that pleasure with him and then going back to _her _with a smile?"

"Don't you think I know that?" Penny snapped around, her voice high. "It hurts just to see him _looking _at her."

"You shouldn't let him hurt you like that."

"Leonard would never hurt me, Kim." Penny looked at her steadily now. "I'm the one who let him go. He's allowed to be happy and be with someone else. I'm the one who hurt me. I'm sure as hell not going to be the one who hurts him again."

"Penny-"

"You wanted me to talk, I'm talking." Penny said through gritted teeth. "If I have to cry in my car over him choosing to be the _good _guy, fine. If he leaves me with a hickey I'm forced to cover up, _fine_. I screwed him over so bad; I deserve for him to hurt me in every single way possible. But, _God_, just let me cry because guess what, Penny has emotions, and one day I will understand what the hell my problem is but just, _please_, let me figure them out myself instead of making me talk about things I don't know! I already lost Leonard over my own messed up emotions and problems, so just _stop _trying to make me deal with things I haven't come to terms with in my own head!"

With that, Penny turned on her heel and left. Kim stood there, slightly shocked at Penny's outburst. She rarely got angry like that, it was usually just shut down or tell all - this was like an in-between, and she knew it meant that for now, she'd shut down completely. Later, when it became too much, she would tell all. But for now, Kim realized, it was best to let her get on with things herself, and make sure she had somebody there when it all got too much.

* * *

Leonard stopped once he was in the bathroom. He didn't even need to pee. He'd only said it to prevent the kiss happening. Fat lot of good that did him, she'd kissed him anyway and he'd kissed her back, very willingly.

He turned to look at himself in the mirror, but he couldn't do it. He felt horrible. It was one thing that he felt bad about Penny. She was upset and vulnerable, and he'd taken total advantage of her kiss. Then, he'd stopped things from going further. Which he wanted to view as a good thing, he really did, but he didn't. He could tell she viewed it as a rejection, and he had never rejected her. Maybe that was his own fault for being so weak and for all the times he'd been with her behind Priya's back. But it was something that he knew would hurt her, especially when she was vulnerable, and would probably knock her confidence. She looked even more hurt about the fact that he'd stopped, and although he could see that she knew why, it was clear that she hadn't wanted him to stop.

And then there was the whole Priya issue, second to the Penny issue. He felt far more guilty about what he'd done to Penny, and that her feelings had come before his own girlfriends. He'd tried to put that off for so long, always telling himself he just had a certain attachment to Penny that he would eventually be able to overcome and move on from. Evidently, he was wrong. Priya was always the second thought. Not because he didn't love her, he _did _love her. But it wasn't the same kind of love he'd felt for Penny. Penny was... I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, that kind of love. Priya was more of a, I love you because you're my girlfriend, kind of love. And he didn't want to hurt Priya. Things had never been easy between them, she hadn't wanted a relationship, she'd given in, now here they were. Not progressing their relationship. Not going anywhere with it. Just... in a relationship. On his part, not a very faithful relationship, but still.

It wasn't that he purposely went out of his way to sleep with Penny. He enjoyed it, and he knew until today he had never stopped it or paused to question what was happening. It was always so quick, spontaneous and passionate with Penny, it was practically impossible to stop. He never _wanted _it to stop. But he'd been doing his best recently to be there for her as a friend, and avoid any situations like that, be they initiated by him or by her. It had been working; since their last gym session together, nothing had happened. He'd wanted to kiss her about a thousand times since then, but he hadn't. She'd made many suggestive hints, told him a salt-shaker scenario that he couldn't quite get rid of, heck she'd even had a dirty dream about him. _And the chew toy, _Leonard remembered with a smirk. But still, they'd both been better at it. He thought the whole desire for your ex thing was dying down and being controlled. Perhaps it was how much he had been worrying about her recently when she would go out and get drunk constantly, that had taken over the desire. But when they were together like that, and the sexual tension became so glaringly obvious that even going out of his way to avoid it only strengthened it, it made it clear that the desire was definitely still there. _I guess Schrodinger's cat is still alive. _

He heard somebody walk into the bathroom, and looked up from the floor. Catching his own face in the mirror, he frowned. _Yup. That's the face of a complete ass. Well done, genius. Hurting both girls you love. _

Turning around, he headed out and started to make his way out of Starbucks. _Love in different ways, _he told himself. _Love Priya as your girlfriend. Love Penny as your best friend. Don't hurt them both. _

Feeling his phone buzz in his pocket, he took it out and saw there were two messages. Odd, he didn't remember receiving one before. Clearly he had been far too involved in his thoughts to notice.

The first was from Penny.

_**Sorry for running off like that. **_

The second was from Priya.

_**Hello sweetie, I'm free from the rest of the day now. I'm at Rajesh's, wasn't sure if you were home. Have you had lunch?**_

He frowned. Judging by the time, he guessed Penny's must have been sent from her car or something; it was brief and abrupt. She probably knew he'd be overthinking the situation.

_No, Leonard_, he told himself. He'd just thought through his whole putting Penny first thing. He needed to change that. As much as his mind was ready to jump into action and analyze Penny's text and reply to her, he forced himself to stay on Priya's text message. _She is your girlfriend. Give her your attention first. Just miss out that your lunch was with Penny... and that you kissed her... _

_**I've just had lunch. I'm going to finish my work, finally found what was wrong with my equation. Be home usual time, dinner at 4A with the guys?**_

He sent it, figuring he may as well go back to his office and get through more of his paper now that he wasn't hopelessly stuck. Realizing that he had been standing just outside the door of Starbucks, he looked up from his phone and walked to his car, getting and taking his phone out again. He couldn't _not _reply to Penny.

_**It's ok, I understand, you don't need to apologize. I'm sorry. Please don't be upset, you did nothing wrong. Don't let the world miss out on that beautiful smile of yours over something I did wrong x**_

Once he'd hit send, he realized perhaps the last part of his message was a bit too much for 'just friends'. But it was too late now, and it was true. He didn't want to be the reason she stopped smiling.

Leonard drove back to his office, where he spent the remainder of his afternoon working on the papers. It still made him smile when he looked back at the equation. He'd gone on from there, progressing from Penny's help, and got the majority of it done by six. He'd received a text from Priya that she would be round for dinner, but as he locked his office once more and headed out to his car, he wondered why Penny hadn't text back. It wasn't like her.

He clicked on their text conversation just incase she _had _replied and he hadn't seen it or received a notification. Nothing. Maybe he was overthinking this. What if she just didn't want to reply? Starting his car and beginning his drive, he sighed. He wished she would reply. She knew it worried him if she didn't reply to a message. Leonard ruled out her being at work, she'd had work this morning and never did two non-consecutive shifts in one day. Maybe she was with Bernadette and Amy. Surely she would still reply though? It hadn't stopped her before. They weren't watching over her shoulder at _every _moment.

Upon his return, Leonard dragged his feet up the stairs. He hated overthinking everything, but he couldn't help it. Reaching the fourth floor landing, he looked over at Penny's door, key hovering just outside the lock to 4A.

It was something he couldn't help. Putting his key back in his pocket, he walked over and knocked lightly on Penny's door. As usual, he didn't have to wait long for an answer.

"Oh," Penny looked slightly startled to see him. "Hey."

"Hi." Leonard gave her a small smile in the hopes it would make things slightly easier. "Umm... did you get my text?"

"Yeah." Penny chewed on her inner lip for a moment. "I... I didn't know how to reply so I didn't."

"Oh," Leonard felt a weight lift off his shoulders. She'd read it and here she was, safe and sound. Not as happy as he would have liked to see her, but at least her eyes weren't red anymore. "Okay. Good. I was just... you usually reply to texts. I mean what I said."

Penny smiled up at him. Of course he meant what he said. She couldn't not be upset, she couldn't stop herself from feeling the need to apologize, but he had definitely made her smile a little with his text. Even through what had happened that day, he still managed to be caring and sweet, and she just had no way to respond to that. Luckily, she had been out with Amy and Bernadette during the afternoon, so hadn't had too much time to start crying again.

"I'm sorry, I know you worry when I don't text back... but, thank you, Leonard." Penny touched his arm gently, but let go quickly. "Did you get any further with the equation and stuff?"

"Yeah!" Leonard grinned, and he felt the awkwardness lift. "I did, actually. I'm almost done with that bit of work now, thanks to you!"

"I can only take credit for realizing the three should be a two." Penny giggled shyly.

"Well, that's what got me out of the problem, so, I guess that's kinda like extra credit for you."

"Ah, extra credit, that's a first for me." Penny shrugged lightly. "I wonder if that equation is in my physics book."

"It probably is. It's the current description of gravitation in modern physics, and it's a fundamental concept, so, they probably have it in there. Probably where-"

"Leonard, sweetie, I think you've been staring at equations too long today." Penny put her hand on his arm, this time not letting go. "I'm lost already. Too much physics for me in one day."

"Sorry," Leonard blushed slightly. "So... you had the afternoon off, do anything nice?"

"Went shopping with Amy and Bernadette." Penny let go of his arm, folding her arms over his chest. "We went to this vintage store and it was like, Amy's shopping heaven... if she has a shopping heaven, maybe that's just me. Anyway, I tried to find something cute, but all the neck lines were like, up to here." She pointed to the top of her neck. "And it was like being strangled by clothes, and that's not the kinda relationship I want with clothes."

Leonard chuckled, and then raised a brow as he saw her neck. "Why do you have an orange bit on your neck?"

"What?" Penny wrinkled her nose at him before realizing what he was talking about. _Damn. Forgot Kim's concealer is like a freakin' tangerine. _"Oh, umm, fake tan. Guess it went a bit streaky."

"Doesn't look like fake tan..." _Didn't taste like fake tan earlier._

"Uh," _Crap. How am I supposed to tell him he gave me a hickey? Damn he'd be so smug. I kind of want to now. _Penny shook her head slightly. "Bought a different one when I went to the mall. Guess it's not as good."

_That would explain why it didn't taste like fake tan. _"Ah, okay. Well... maybe you should consider switching back."

"Mm, I think I will." Penny silently thanked the Gods that Leonard was innocent enough to take her explanation. It wasn't that she particularly wanted to hide it from him. If anything, she was impressed with his work on her neck, and she knew he'd be proud of himself. King of Foreplay leaves his mark. But she didn't want to bring back the awkwardness of talking about it. She'd cried in her car, almost yelled at Kim, sworn at innocent drivers to vent, calmed herself with shopping, and then talked over the awkwardness with Leonard. It was much easier to leave it out. Besides, Priya could walk up those stairs any minute, she was sure of it. And as much as she'd hated their coffee date this morning, she still wanted her trust. She missed hanging out with all her friends.

_Damn. All that from a hickey. _Penny almost laughed out loud at the thought.

"Well," Leonard said after a while, having watch Penny in thought with a small smile on her lips. He almost asked her what she was thinking about, but stopped himself. "I should get back. I just wanted to see you were doing okay."

"Sure." Penny smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you, Leonard."

"There's that smile." Leonard grinned. "Any time."

Penny felt herself blush slightly. Leonard turned to go, but thinking quickly, Penny grabbed his arm once more.

"Leonard, wait."

He felt Penny's arms wrap around him in a tight hug, her head resting on his shoulder. Instinctively, his mind counted to five Mississippi's, and when it passed that, he wrapped his own arms around her too, just as tightly.

"Thank you, Leonard." Penny said quietly, after a while. She knew it had been longer than what he referred to as a 'standard hug' - that had been her aim. He deserved more than a standard hug. "And I really do mean it, that I miss you."

"Me too."

They stayed in their embrace for a while longer, before they both pulled back with smiles on their faces.

"You should get home. It's after six, you'll be lucky if there's any leftovers." Penny giggled slightly.

"Ah, don't want to go with no dinner. You want anything?" Leonard added the last part cautiously, he knew he wasn't really supposed to invite her, but he couldn't _not _ask her.

"No, that's okay." Penny gave him a knowing look. "I have some spaghetti that wants cooking anyway."

"Spaghetti, sounds good." Leonard nodded. "Okay. I'll see you, Penny."

"Yeah." Penny nodded with a smile. "Bye, Leonard."

Leonard took two steps, and then turned around again. "No wine," he said, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he knew she was more likely to drink when she had had an emotional day. He hoped it didn't sound too forceful or out-of-place; the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was trying to control her. To his relief, she simply gave him a smile.

"No wine." Penny repeated, with a confirmatory nod.

With one last smile, Leonard turned around and headed into his own apartment.

"Leonard, you're late." Sheldon said, the moment the door had closed. "You ought to think this thoughtful chap," he pointed to himself, "for saving your food for you."

"Yeah, thanks, Sheldon," Leonard rolled his eyes, dropping his keys in the bowl and heading over to his armchair, which had been left empty for him.

"Where were you?" Priya looked up from her food at him, she was sat on the sofa next to Amy.

"Oh... traffic." Leonard said. He wondered if that lie was even worth it, they could have seen him just now, he'd only been in Penny's doorway. But nobody questioned it, so he picked up the box Sheldon had nudged towards him.

"Your food has already dropped below optimal eating temperature, but... that's your own fault." Sheldon looked at Leonard, brows raised.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Amy said. "We just opened that box, and it's contents are still at a pleasingly edible temperature."

"Amy," Sheldon muttered, his head snapping towards her. "Leonard is late, he needs to learn something from his tardiness."

Amy sighed. "Alright." She turned her head up to Leonard. "Leonard, your food will probably be unsatisfyingly cold, for which you can only blame your own lateness."

"I'm sure I can deal with that." Leonard chuckled.

"Umm... since we have so much left over... why don't we invite Penny to join us?"

Everybody's heads turned to look at Priya in surprise. She looked slightly shocked by the reaction, as though she hadn't expected that much of a big deal from the group. Priya smiled nervously.

"I... I guess that would be nice," Bernadette said slowly, her eyes watching Leonard. There was something there other than shock that she couldn't quite read.

"It would be pretty great to have bestie join us," Amy nodded.

"Really?" Sheldon turned his head to Amy. While he was shocked, Priya's offer didn't hit him as much as it had the others, he didn't realize the significance. "That woman talks of all sorts of baloney... besides, where would she sit?"

Rolling his eyes, Raj stood from the chair next to Leonard's armchair and sat down on the floor.

"So we have the sitting problem covered." Howard looked pointedly at Sheldon then round at the others. His eyes then landed on Leonard. "What do you say?"

Leonard blinked for a moment. He hadn't expected this. It came as a big surprise, mainly because Priya's invitation was completely out of the blue. He'd thought her and Penny's coffee date hadn't really gone that well. Then he remembered Priya hadn't told him about it, maybe she wanted to keep it that way, maybe it was her 'work-in-progress' or something. Well, he already knew about it, but this he hadn't expected.

"Um, sure," he said eventually, with a small nod. He felt everybody's eyes on him, and he cleared his throat. Were they expecting him to go and get her? He looked up. Apparently so. Putting his food down, he stood up. "Umm, I'll... I'll go ask her if she wants to come over."

Amy and Bernadette glanced at each other before watching leave, close the door, and head over to Penny's apartment.

Leonard bounced on his feet slightly as he knocked on Penny's door. He was strangely nervous about this, and he didn't understand why. It could be to do with the events of the day, but also, he hadn't gotten to invite her round for food in a long time.

Penny opened the door with a smile. "Hey! Long time no see."

"Yeah," Leonard returned a small smile. "Uh, have you started cooking yet?"

"No." Penny shook her head. "Why?"

"Oh, just, you know, Priya offered to invite you over for dinner."

"Really?" Penny raised a brow. She had thought that after their coffee meeting, that that would be enough for Priya to _not _want to have Penny around. Apparently forcing the issue of Priya texting Sanjay but Penny not seeing Leonard had worked well in her favor. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing, maybe Priya was using it so she could continue texting Sanjay. Well, she could dwell on that later, if they were going to be hanging out she could get to that. Right now, what mattered is she was finally getting her friends back. And she wouldn't have to cook spaghetti that she didn't even have. She felt herself break into a grin, and Leonard visibly relaxed before her. "Yeah, sure. I'd love that."

"Good. Good!" Leonard grinned back at her.

They stepped out of her apartment, Penny closing the door behind her, and headed into 4A.

It was slightly overwhelming, everybody grinning at her expectantly. She grinned back, unable to stop the excitement running through her body. A completely different excitement than what she had felt with Leonard earlier. She was going to have dinner with her friends again, here they were, and there was the food, just like old times. Aside from the fact that Priya was there... oh well. Penny noticed that the vacant seat was next to Leonard's armchair, where he had gone to sit back down. For a second she wondered if Priya was going to get up and sit in it so she could make a point of being with Leonard, but she didn't. Maybe she was testing Penny. Penny didn't really care at this moment. Cautiously but with a smile, she walked over and sat down, looking over at Leonard and then at the group. She noticed Amy and Bernadette give her a pointed look, which she tried to ignore.

"Here's a plate." Priya broke the silence, picking up a clean, empty plate and holding it out in Penny's direction.

"Thanks." Penny stood to take it, and slowly began to put a few bits onto it.

Thankfully, Sheldon brought up a conversation topic, and the silence was over. It wasn't bad, Penny thought, just a little strange, and different. It wasn't as comfortable as she would have liked, with Priya on the couch and looking over at her every so often. She could feel Amy and Bernadette watching her almost the whole time. Nobody commented on her neck, and she wondered if Leonard was just really observant or they were too kind to point it out to her. Maybe Leonard had already made a joke to the group about it. Either way, she was glad, she really didn't need Priya bringing it up. Amy and Bernadette would probably notice her nerves if she had to try use that fake tan story again in front of Priya.

But in that moment, it didn't really matter to her. She was in 4A having take-out with her friends, just like old times. And she was sat next to Leonard, and that, very simply, felt right.

* * *

**A/N - Holy balls! 5,061 words _before _the author's note. Priya's not going to always invite Penny over for dinner, but Leonard will always be there to put a smile on Penny's face. Thanks for the lovely reviews for the last chapter, you guys sure know how to make a gal smile and keep writing! I'm going away with my family for a week, but we have WiFi where we're going, and it's going to be very relaxed, so I won't be leaving you for two weeks with no update again. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Let me know what you think, you guys are awesome. **


	44. Chapter 44

"Bernadette!" Kim hissed from the staff room.

"Yeah?" Bernadette turned to look questioningly at Kim.

"Come in here."

"Why? You got another ex in the restaurant I need to make pee their pants?" Bernadette asked, an evil glint in her eye.

"No! One is enough for today." Kim grinned. "Just come in here."

"Okay," she put her empty tray down and stepped into the staff room. "What's up?"

"Umm, is Penny okay these days?"

Bernadette frowned. "Umm... how do you mean?"

"You know, with Leonard." Kim bit her lip. She had no idea how much Bernadette knew, if she knew Penny had kissed Leonard, or just that she still had feelings for him, or... anything, really. All she knew was that they spent a lot of time together, so would probably have a few more observations than she did.

"Oh," Bernadette sighed. "You know, just like she always is. Pretending she's fine with it, when she obviously isn't... she's got over the drinking stage though, I think, but only after he told her he was worried about that."

"He made her stop that?" Kim's jaw dropped slightly. "Damn, he's good."

"Yeah." Bernadette nodded. "It was getting a bit much going out _all _the time."

"You did look worse for wear for a few weeks," Kim nodded. "I thought that was just your boyfriends fault," she added with a wink.

"Well, that too," Bernadette replied with a wicked grin.

"You're doing good girl!" Kim laughed. "Anyway, Penny, she had a rough time when she had her coffee with Priya the other day and now she won't really talk to me... she doing okay?"

"She had coffee with Priya already?" Bernadette gasped. "She never told us that! Huh, guess it must have gone really bad. Actually, she hasn't really told us anything recently, she's just been keeping quiet."

"That's never good..." Kim shook her head.

"Hmm... maybe she could do with a girl's night. Not a wild one, just... get her out and away from it all."

"Yeah, that usually does the trick." Kim agreed.

"You should join us."

"Oh, I don't think she'd talk if I'm there. I already tried getting her to talk and she got a bit mad." Kim shrugged.

"Damn it Kim, you've known her the longest, you should know how she is!" Bernadette hit her arm playfully.

"I know, I know, bad Kim." Kim shook her head. "Look, I have to get home now, and you have customers, so... just... make sure she's not doing something stupid."

"I'll try." Bernadette nodded as she watched Kim take her purse from her locker and shove her apron in slowly. She furrowed her brows and stepped over to her. "Kim, what do you know that I don't?"

"Uh," Kim bit her lip. "That... umm, I think that's something you should hear from Penny."

Bernadette pursed her lips for a moment. "She's not going to tell me, is she?"

"Probably not." Kim shrugged apologetically. "But you probably know a _lot _of other things that she won't tell me."

"I do, but I don't think that _Penny _actually knows them."

"Oh, yeah, Penny knows nothing." Kim agreed. "Even I can see that."

"Hmm, girls night it is then." Bernadette said, more to herself than to Kim.

"Good luck with that. If she has a Leonard-related epiphany, let me know!" Kim grinned. "I really gotta go... enjoy the rest of your shift and use... I dunno, you're a scientist... think of something to get her talking!"

"I'm a microbiologist!" Bernadette yelled after Kim as she left, and shook her head.

Since it was busy at the restaurant, the rest of the shift flew by fairly quickly. Once she was done, Bernadette grabbed her things and got in her car, before dialing Leonard's number. He answered after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Leonard, it's Bernadette."

"I kinda figured that from the Caller ID... you know Howard's set a _really _smug photo of himself as your contact photo on my phone? It's creepy."

"Yeah, great, are you home?" Bernadette rolled her eyes, noting to tell Howard off for setting weird contact photos on other peoples phones. He'd already changed Leonard's contact photo on her phone to Bilbo Baggins, and she wasn't really sure how to change it back.

"No, I'm away this weekend with Priya, I went to a lecture - it was so interesting! I got his book as well; I've started reading it already. Oh, and that biologist you love was there with her husband! What's her name? Doctor... umm, I can't remember, but you know the one who wrote that article on-"

"That's great, Leonard... wait, you're away with Priya?" Bernadette frowned. She wondered if Penny knew. "It's ten o'clock, why are you on the phone to me instead of with her?"

"Oh, I went for a walk, it's a nice night."

"I didn't know you go for walks. Anyway, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"About Penny."

Leonard slowed down his walking. "Uh, yeah, I guess." He furrowed his brow. "Is she okay?"

"We want to take her out on a girls night. She's been freakishly quiet these last few days." Bernadette said, getting straight to the point. "And I'm asking you because she told us you were worried about her drinking... and she's been doing _really _well. But we think she just need to go out, and take her mind off whatever is bothering her."

"Oh..." Leonard stopped and sat down on a bench. Penny being 'freakishly quiet' was worrying; it was never a good thing. But Bernadette knew Penny, and if she thought she needed a girls night and maybe a bit more wine than usual, then she was right. "Yeah, okay. Just don't let her have _too _much or do anything stupid."

"I will." Bernadette smiled slightly. She knew he still cared about Penny, and worried about her, but it wasn't something they needed to discuss. They were close, and Penny always took the way he cared for her to heart, and listened to him, and vice versa. It was heart warming that even now they were still like that around each other. "Well, have a nice weekend, Leonard."

"You too, Bernadette." Leonard smiled. "Thanks for calling."

"No problem. See you when you're back."

As he hung up the phone, Leonard sighed and rubbed his temples. It was touching that Bernadette had thought to call him and ask. He was glad that she understood his care for Penny, and didn't question it. Maybe she saw something more behind it, but she never brought that up, and he was glad. There _was _more behind it, he knew that, and he could admit it to himself, but it was something that he simply couldn't help. Leonard wondered what Penny was being so quiet for, and he found himself thinking back to the last few days. He was accustomed to not seeing her so often, so he hadn't particularly noticed. They'd last seen each other when she'd come over for dinner that night, after their Starbucks encounter. Was that what was wrong with her? They'd had a chat afterwards; she'd seemed fine after talking it over. Whatever it was, he hoped a girls night would fix it. He hated the idea of her drinking, but sometimes it was needed, even he understood that.

Standing back up, Leonard resumed his walk. It really was a nice evening. What was there to do in a hotel room anyway?

* * *

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Penny smiled, stepping back to let Amy and Bernadette in.

"We're taking you out for a girls night!" Amy grinned. "But _not _kidnapping you like we tried the night Priya was introduced to our lives. I have learned that is not an appropriate joke."

"Right..." Penny giggled slightly. "I don't really feel like going out," she closed the door. "But we can hang out here instead?"

"No. We're going out." Bernadette said firmly, arms folded across her chest, not taking 'no' as an answer from Penny.

"I even wore my leopard print push-up bra!" Amy pouted. "Just like you told me! Look-"

"You don't have to show me, Ames, knowing is enough." Penny lifted her brows quickly. "Look, I just want to have a quiet night in. I've got a bottle of wine and you said you've always wanted to watch that film _The Parent Trap_?"

"We can watch that another day." Amy pointed out. "I didn't purchase and put on this bra for nothing, bestie, I'm not like you. These," she gestured to her chest. "Are reserved for special occasions, such as girls night."

"We're only going to keep bothering you if until you say you'll go." Bernadette said teasingly.

"Ugh..." Penny sighed, wrinkling her nose. "Fine. As long as you stop talking about your underwear..."

Amy and Bernadette looked at each other as Penny slouched into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"This is... odd." Amy commented from the corner of her mouth. "Bestie not wanting to go out, this is an unexpected event."

"Since when is staying in to watch a film preferable over girls night?" Bernadette exclaimed quietly, looking uneasily at Penny's bedroom door.

"Hey, before I met you guys I spent almost every single night watching a different film!" Amy protested.

"Exactly, that's why we _need _girls night!" Bernadette shook her head. "Come on."

They headed into Penny's bedroom, where she was pulling on a purple blouse, clad in a pair of worn blue skinny jeans.

"Jeans and a boring purple blouse?" Amy raised a brow. "All these amazingly slutty dresses and _that's _what you pick?"

"I haven't shaved my legs, okay," Penny huffed, doing up the last few buttons.

"And that shirt is not boring, I have one like that too!" Bernadette pointed out.

"Yes, and that's why you're dating _Howard_." Amy said, head cocked to one side. Penny and Bernadette looked at Amy incredulously, as she sat down on the edge of Penny's bed. "But if that's what you want to wear on girls night, Penny, you can't complain when you return home alone."

"Well I'm perfectly fine with that." Penny snapped suddenly, grabbing a pair of black heels as she headed back out of her bedroom.

Bernadette mouthed 'o-_kay_' at Amy, as they followed behind her cautiously.

* * *

The three girls sat quietly around one of the tables at the bar. Amy sipped cautiously at her Cosmopolitan, while Bernadette took slow, small swigs of her wine. Penny had taken a sip of her own wine, but had spent most of the time just swiveling it around in her glass, rubbing at the lipstick mark she'd left on the rim. There had been a lot of small talk, mainly Amy and Bernadette doing the talking, for once. Penny looked, if it was possible for a girl's night, bored.

But Bernadette was tired of this. She knew Amy wouldn't bring anything up, in case it clouded her bestie-ship with Penny, no matter how much she wanted to. So she had decided that she'd have to do something about this whole situation, whether Penny liked it or not. There was stubborn, and then there was Penny, and then there was _this_. Whatever it was. Almost like the silent treatment, but worse because what she didn't say was spoken through the look on her face.

"Okay," Bernadette sighed, her voice almost as much a bark as her boyfriend's mothers. "This is getting ridiculous. Penny, you need to tell us what's wrong or I'm going to spike your drink with a little something I worked on a few weeks ago."

"Isn't that illegal or something?" Penny wrinkled her nose and frowned.

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes to it. What's wrong?"

Penny sighed and looked down at her drink. "Nothing."

"Oh, yeah, you're just this sad _all _the time." Bernadette rolled her eyes. "Is it because of you and Priya's coffee thing?"

"That happened already?" Amy slammed a hand down on the table. "Why didn't you tell us? You know we're willing to assist in flinging feces at her at your command."

"How... how did you know I already had my coffee thing with Priya?" Penny asked slowly.

"Oh, Kim told me," Bernadette said quickly, waving her hand as if to dismiss it. "And also you _did _tell us you'd arranged to have coffee with her."

"_Kim _told you? What else did she tell you?"

"Nothing!" Bernadette held both hands up now as Penny glared at her. "Just that you had coffee with Priya and it didn't go too well. She didn't tell me anything else, I asked but she said she wouldn't tell me."

Penny glared at Bernadette for a moment longer, before backing down slightly and relaxing. "Good."

"Are you going to tell us what this Kim knows?" Amy raised a brow. "Who is Kim, anyway?"

"She works at the Cheesecake Factory," Bernadette said to Amy. "And we don't ask Penny those kind of questions!"

"You're right, you don't ask Penny those kinds of questions." Penny gave each girl a pointed look.

The girls were silent for a moment before Amy spoke up again. "Well you might as well tell us about your coffee with Priya."

Swirling the wine around her glass again, Penny chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment. Amy had a point; now that they knew, they'd keep asking. It wasn't exactly the part of that day that had the most questions to raise.

"It was... horribly awkward." Penny said finally, her eyes not leaving her wine glass. "She's so... opposite to me, it sucks. I don't know what to say to her. And she hasn't even watched Lord of the Rings. Stupid bitch thinks she's too good for Middle Earth."

Pulling a face, Bernadette raised a brow. "You spoke about Lord of the Rings?"

"Yeah, and Star Wars Lego videogames, and Halo." Penny nodded, finally raising her eyes. "Those are literally the only conversations we had." She contemplated telling them that Priya had been texting Sanjay too, but quickly reminded herself not to dabble in that. "That's how awkward it was."

"Wow." Amy raised her brows over her Cosmopolitan.

"So how come you didn't tell us you had coffee with her?" Bernadette asked. She wasn't buying an easy answer from Penny.

"I don't know." Penny shrugged, running a hand through her hair. "I'd already told you I was going, so... when it went bad, I just thought it was easier not to mention it. I don't want me not liking Priya to affect your judgment of her."

"Bestie, let me explain something to you." Amy put down her cocktail glass and put her hands over Penny. "Priya is dating your ex-boyfriend. That means we automatically hate her as much as you do."

"I don't _hate _her." Penny said. Amy and Bernadette looked at her, heads tilted, eyebrows raised. "Okay, maybe a little."

"See?" Bernadette gave Penny a soft smile. "Doesn't it feel better now you've said that?"

_No, _Penny thought, _because that's not even the half of it. _"I suppose."

"Anything else you want to get off your chest?" Amy patted Penny's hand now, brows raised even higher in anticipation.

"Uh... well, holding my hand is kinda creepy." Penny pulled her hand away from Amy's, who looked at her apologetically. She ran a hand through her hair again, and brought it down across her neck over where her hickey had been. She was sure it wasn't even visible any more but she still felt the need to cover it up; she'd bought a concealer the day after Leonard had pointed out the color difference. Even though nobody else had mentioned it, she felt very conscious of it. _Maybe that's how Leonard had felt when he had that Hello Kitty band-aid on his ass,_ Penny thought with a slight smirk. Either way, that wasn't something she wanted to share. Kim knowing was more than enough.

"What about Leonard and Priya going away together last weekend?" Amy prompted. "You _do _know they went away, right?"

"Yeah, Priya told me they were going." Penny sighed. "Leonard always loved those weekends away, he'd get so excited over the lecture and buy the book and read all the papers... and Priya has absolutely zero interest in that, she just kept going on about the spa the whole time. I still want him to enjoy those weekends, and I hope he still loved going to the lecture... I just wish it wasn't with _her_."

"Oh, Penny." Amy smiled at her bestie sympathetically.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Leonard _did _say he enjoyed the lecture. He got the book too, he said he'd already started reading it the same night."

"Aw, that's good." Penny smiled, before turning to look at the smaller scientist. "Wait, you spoke to Leonard while he was away?"

"Umm... yeah." Bernadette picked up her wine glass again and took a long sip. Unsure of how Penny would take her asking Leonard if he was okay with them taking Penny out, she decided to divert the conversation. "Leonard said Howie's set a really creepy picture of himself as my contact photo. _Please _tell me he hasn't done that with your phones."

Thankfully, it worked, as Penny next said "yeah, he already did that to my phone but I changed it. When I added him to my phone, he set his contact picture as the _creepiest _photograph of himself, _ever. _He wasn't even wearing a dickie. Thank _God _it was only his top half in the photo."

Bernadette cringed. "That's... Howie."

"He set mine as a picture of himself with his leg up on his Vespa." Amy shuddered. "Only Sheldon could pull off something as sexy as that."

Penny was about to laugh when her mind filled with thoughts of Leonard with _his _leg up on... not a Vespa, she pictured a _much _better, much sexier, motorbike. Like a Harley Davidson. His hair blowing slightly in the wind, his glasses off and his eyes on her. _Only _her. That vision went one step further when suddenly he was driving it, with her sat behind him, chin on his shoulder, one hand clinging to his waist, the other roaming his chest. It went even further when she envisioned a scenario similar to their experience on Howard's Vespa. Only this time she wasn't wearing her uniform, but a short, low-cut dress, and _his _hand was roaming her chest, and she could practically feel his mouth on her neck as his other hand gently pulled the bottom of her dress slightly further up to her waist...

"Penny. _Penny._" Bernadette snapped her fingers repeatedly in front of Penny's face. "_Penny_!"

"Hmm?" Penny felt her eyelids flutter and her skin grow hot - though maybe it was already hot, she wasn't sure - as she was brought back to reality. Automatically, she took a sip of wine, wishing her heart wasn't racing as it was. "Oh, uh, sorry."

"I was talking about Sheldon and you just blanked out." Amy frowned. "He really isn't _that _bad - pale is kinda sexy, you know."

"Yeah sure, I, uh," Penny cleared her throat. "Gotta go to the bathroom."

* * *

Penny breathed a sigh of relief as she reached the last two steps to the fourth floor landing. She always hated those stairs, especially when she was in heels. At least when she was drunk she couldn't really feel her feet. Now, having only had two glasses of wine through the whole night, her feet ached beyond belief. Next time she was going to wear flats, she had promised herself that halfway up the stairs. Once she'd returned from the bathroom, having cleared her mind of all thoughts of Leonard, the girls had insisted on dancing and another glass of wine. She had to admit, it had been fun getting out and spending some time with them, it had definitely put a smile on her face and taken her mind off of things after a while.

Unlocking her door, she kicked her shoes off and flopped onto the couch. She wasn't sure how she felt about the second glass of wine. Part of her was proud that she'd only had two glasses. The other part of her was disappointed; for a girls night, that was very little drink and very out of character considering how much she would usually drink. But she did feel good about it, and knowing she wouldn't feel awful the next morning was nice. Though she could most definitely do without feeling her feet. Hearing a knock on the door and knowing it could only be Leonard, she sat up slightly, too tired to wonder what he was doing here.

"It's open, come in."

"Hey," Leonard's head peeked around her door, and Penny felt a smile form across her face. "I knew you had girls night tonight so I thought I'd check in on you, I heard you coming in."

"Oh. That's nice." Penny grinned at him. "You can come in if you want."

"Hmm, might as well." Leonard shrugged as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Come on, I'm not _that _bad company!" Penny giggled as he sat down beside her.

"Yeah, I know, you're not, but..." Leonard trailed off.

"Yeah." Penny nodded. She knew he wasn't going to say Priya, he would never mention that, but she knew that's what he was going for. "So... I only had two glasses of wine tonight."

"Two?" Leonard raised a brow. "Wow, calm down."

"Well aren't you Mr. Sarcastic." Penny rolled her eyes. "If I'd had more maybe my feet wouldn't hurt as much."

"Foot massage?" Leonard offered automatically, and Penny swung her legs up with her feet in his lap like a comfortable habit, lying down with her head on the armrest.

As he gently massaged her feet like he had many times before, Penny told him about some of the things Amy and Bernadette had told her about Sheldon and Howard. She told him how excited she was when her new favorite song had been playing, and he noted with a smile that her favorite song had changed now. At her request, he told her about the lecture he had gone to and told her that he had finished the book the next day. He didn't mention Priya or the hotel, for her benefit. After a while, Penny closed her eyes, as Leonard told her how Sheldon had come up with some new ridiculous car game.

Leonard noticed after a while that Penny had stopped responding to him, and that her head had dropped slightly, breathing slightly louder than usual. He smiled to himself; he hadn't watched her fall asleep in a while. She always looked so calm and peaceful.

Carefully, he lifted her legs so he could stand up, and lay them back down across the couch. He had done this so many times before, it just felt natural to him, pulling the blanket from the edge of the couch over her body and tucking a pillow beneath her head. Even though she wasn't drunk, he filled a glass of water and placed it on the coffee table. Picking up her handbag, which she'd dropped by her shoes, he took her phone out and placed it on silent, putting it on the coffee table next to her water. He went to her bedroom and picked up her pajamas from the bed, and placed those on the coffee table too, in case she woke up in the middle of the night uncomfortable in her jeans - _why is she wearing jeans on girls night? - _but couldn't be bothered to go to her bed.

Satisfied with the knowledge that this was how she liked things, he stepped back. He wondered if he should feel awkward in his ex-girlfriends apartment when she was asleep. This was easier, he realized, than her coming home drunk and trying to get her to go to bed or make sense. He could still remember when she came home after going out on her birthday, crying and insisting she slept in his bed so she wasn't alone, and the awkward morning after. Yes, he definitely preferred this, but he knew even if she was completely wasted he'd still do the same for her. Doing this felt natural, comfortable, he knew how to deal with her, and he wanted to know she was okay. And he _definitely _preferred taking care of her himself, than any other guy taking care of her after a night out, or any other time of day for that matter.

He smiled and switched on the side light, before shutting off her main light so it wasn't too dark but not too bright for her. Going back over to her, he kissed her forehead lightly and when he leant back up, he swore he saw her smile a little. Grinning, he made sure the blanket was tucked around her, and she moved her hand to grip the edge closest to her.

"Thank you, Leonard," she mumbled quietly, and he wondered if his movements had woken her slightly or she was only partly asleep. Though he was used to her mumbling every so often in her sleep, so it just made him smile even further.

"Sleep tight, Penny." Leonard whispered, and he bent forward once more to kiss her cheek, before pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear and stepping back towards the door. He saw her lips part, and for a moment he wondered if that was just in her sleep or if she was looking for a kiss.

As he opened the door to leave, he heard her moan softly as she turned onto her side, facing the door. He was going to attribute that moan to being asleep and turning to a more comfortable position, until another smile formed on her face. "Mmh. Leonard."

Smirking, Leonard stepped out and shut her door. He held onto that smirk as he fetched his spare key and locked her door, until he got back into his own apartment and changed to get ready for bed. He grinned at himself proudly in the mirror, tilting his head up to look those few inches taller.

"Yup, I've still got it."


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N - Umm, so this is kind of a long chapter. It's got a mix of some feelings, Penny, Leonard, and some (hopefully) humour at the end. I wanted to include some parts used in the show to explore the parts we don't see in the episode, and also as a kind of driving point for the next chapter... hope it works for the reader as it does in my mind. Anyway, hope you all enjoy, let me know what you think, happy Friday! :) **

* * *

Penny awoke little before midday with a smile on her face, still on the couch where she had fallen asleep, but in her pajamas. Her jeans lay at the end of the couch, crumpled and inside out, her purple blouse equally crumpled on the floor. She had changed into her pajamas after a more than pleasant awakening, slightly embarrassed at how realistic and active her dream had been, but not really caring. She'd fallen into a deep sleep after that, and as a result, this morning she felt a lot better than she had in a long time.

Sitting up, she looked at the coffee table and grinned. She hadn't noticed her phone and the glass of water earlier, though her mind had been pre-occupied. She'd spotted the pajamas in the light and grabbed for them before shoving them on and shutting out the little light. Now, she picked up both the glass of water and her phone. Leonard really did know how her well, and her heart fluttered as she thought about the way he still looked after her. Taking a long sip of her water, she unlocked her phone, before setting the glass back down. Clicking her messages, she quickly sent one to Amy and Bernadette to thank them for taking her out and to make sure they were okay - Amy had definitely seemed slightly tipsy. Leaning back against the couch, she scrolled through her Twitter feed and checked her email, before her phone rang. The screen showed it was Bernadette, and she picked up the call.

"Hey!" Penny grinned down the phone, surprising herself with her cheeriness.

"Hey," Bernadette replied, her usually perky voice more glum than usual. "I just got your text, I'm at work."

"I thought you said you start at half twelve?" Penny frowned, picking up her water again.

"Yeah... I do."

"Then why are you in now? Is the time on my phone wrong?"

"I came in early." Bernadette shrugged as she leaned against one of the lockers.

"Uh, why the hell would you do that?"

"Well... Howard's acting all... _weird._" Bernadette said slowly.

"Oh." Penny gulped down her water, raising her brows in concern. The absence of her friend's usually chirpy voice seemed very obvious now. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Bernadette spoke quickly now. "He's been weird all week but I didn't really take any notice of it. This morning he was just so distant and, I don't know, secretive. I asked him what we were doing for dinner and he was all 'I don't care' and then went off to make some secret phone call."

"Oh, Bernadette, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Penny offered soothingly.

"Maybe." Bernadette sighed. "The other day I asked some of the girls I was studying with and some of them thought it was a good sign, but most of them didn't look too sure about that... and I asked Kim when I came in, and she said when that happened to her, her boyfriend dumped her and he was calling this other girl... but then she said it happened to her friend and he was going to ask her to move in but wanted it to be a surprise... oh, I don't know, Penny, I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like this is a good thing. Should I ask him if something's wrong?"

Penny snorted to stop herself from laughing at the question, despite her friend's trouble. "Seriously, you're asking me for relationship advice?"

Bernadette was quiet for a moment, before letting out a small giggle. "Good point."

"Hey!" Penny exclaimed, mocking offence.

"You said it," she pointed out. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Well, lets face it, I wouldn't know what to do either. With Kurt, I knew why he was being all distant and weird so eventually I got the guts to just leave. But that took like, months, and we were still having sex so I thought he'd stop or at least _tell _me, so what the hell do I know." Penny rolled her eyes at herself. "And when I didn't know what to do after Leonard said..."

Trailing off, Penny closed her eyes, refusing to let her emotions take over. Bernadette stayed quiet, chewing on her lip. She heard Penny let out a long breath, and let her have a moment, realizing it probably wasn't the best idea to come to Penny with her problems whilst Penny was in the midst of her own. "Sorry," she said quietly, playing with the bottom of her apron.

"No, it's okay," Penny smiled, even though she knew Bernadette wouldn't see her do so. "Just don't... don't do anything yet. Don't think on it too much, or you'll start thinking of the worst. Let him have some time, whatever he's doing or thinking about, do _not_ push him. Trust me. Whatever the reason is behind him being all weird, don't ask him about it. Pressure can force a person to make terrible choices they will always regret, and it can hurt you both."

Bernadette was quiet again, but this time from shock. Not only had Penny just given her the best advice, she'd just given her a complete, albeit probably unintentional, insight into her own problems. She had never spoken about her break-up with Leonard, not like this. Even though she hadn't said it, it was glaringly obvious to Bernadette that the advice Penny had just given her, had come straight from her heart, and unfortunately straight from experience.

"You're right," Bernadette said eventually, her voice calm. "Maybe things won't end well between us but thank you, Penny."

"It's okay. Might as well let someone learn from my mistakes." Penny said, in an attempt to laugh off any emotions threatening to escape her.

Bernadette knew what Penny was doing, fending her emotions off just as she always did. Had she been talking to her in person, and maybe had Amy's back up, she probably would have pressed on what she had said, any maybe gotten something out of her once and for all. But that wasn't the case, and Penny had practically closed that conversation. Over the phone, she could easily disconnect their call, Bernadette knew Penny would do that if she tried to ask her more.

"Anyway," Penny said, to fill the silence. "Did you get home okay last night?"

_I was right, closed conversation, _Bernadette thought to herself. "Yeah, after the cab dropped you off he went to Amy's, and then to mine. I think Amy may have had one cocktail too many, but she was fine, just a bit giggly."

"Yeah, I thought that too. I'll call her and see how she is."

"She's over at Sheldon's, she texted me this morning. Oh, one second, Penny." Bernadette held her phone down as the manager came in to speak to her. Penny held her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she grabbed her jeans and returned them from their inside-out state and folded them as she waited. "I'm back. I thought they were going to ask me to start earlier. Apparently our pay check bonus things should arrive in the post today."

"Ooh, yay!" Penny grinned. "I saw this pair of shoes I want to buy, I hope it does arrive today, then I can cash it and buy the shoes. _Yes_!"

Bernadette smiled to herself, at least Penny's mind was now occupied with other thoughts. "That sounds good. I'm going to have a coffee and see if I can convince the new guy to hit on Kim."

"Ooh, let me know how it goes! I'm going to talk to Amy and see if I have a treat in the mail. I hope everything's okay with you and Howard. I'm sure it's nothing bad, sweetie. If you need to talk, I'm right here, okay?"

Bernadette let out a sad sigh. "I don't know, Penny. Thank you." She found it almost funny that Penny was offering herself if she needed to talk, when she wouldn't even talk herself. "I'm going to go cheer myself up by pissing Kim off."

* * *

Penny was slightly confused as to the change in gossip. She had told Amy in strictest confidence that Bernadette wasn't sure what was happening between her and Howard, only Amy had taken it to mean that Bernadette would be breaking up with Howard. Evidently gossip spread and changed like a game of Chinese Whispers in high school, like when she'd told Cynthia that Alice had got to third base with Jason, and it ending up being told that Alice had chickened out of second base, and Alice didn't speak to her for a week. She hoped that wouldn't happen with Bernadette. Maybe she'd told it to Amy wrong... though Bernadette didn't seem too sure things were going well with Howard, anyway.

Changing into her pajamas, her mind wandered back over what Raj had told her earlier that night about Priya. _"You should hear the way she talks about you." _What was she saying about her behind her back? She didn't know about her and Leonard, so there was hardly anything she could say about that. If she did know and had told Raj, she was certain he wouldn't be talking to her anymore out of anger for betraying both his sister and his friend. Was Priya bitching about her to Leonard too? He'd never mentioned it. Maybe he never paid attention. That made her feel a little better, he probably would have told her, he was never good with keeping stuff to himself when it concerned her. Not that she could really complain, she spent a lot of her time bitching about Priya, and she was sleeping with her boyfriend - though recently only in her dreams and not _actually _with him.

Her mind wandered back to what Amy had told her earlier. She had been slightly stunned, and for a moment unsure if Amy had told the truth, the idea of Sheldon and Amy having sex was... just plain weird and out of the blue. Either way, she had text Leonard to tell him, and then told Raj... and Bernadette... even Kim and Cheryl know now... Leonard was right, maybe she _was _a blabbermouth. Not that _he _could talk, he was the one that had text her earlier saying that Howard was proposing to Bernadette. That was odd, she had been beginning to assume that Amy knew more from Bernadette than she did. Though, if Leonard's gossip was right, it would match up with her original conversation with Bernadette - maybe he was being distant because he was going to propose to her. She grinned to herself, that would be cute, and a total surprise for Bernadette - unless _that _gossip got around too.

Getting into bed, her smile faded. Proposals, marriage... the whole thing was terrifying. Maybe it was everything that was going on right now between her and Leonard that made it seem even scarier, the idea of committing to _one _person. And everybody knowing, putting pressure on decisions... no, she refused to think about that now. The gossip was enough to think about as it was.

* * *

As they all gathered around Howard and Bernadette to congratulate them, Howard having just proposed, Leonard felt a mixture of feelings. Leonard was excited, he was happy for Howard and Bernadette, of course he was. But there was one major thing wrong with this proposal. Penny wasn't there.

Penny had been the one to introduce the two. He still remembered telling her about the pact after sex, and her doubts about finding somebody for Howard. But she had introduced him to Bernadette, and now they were engaged. She should have been there to see this. She'd effectively been the one to make the relationship happen, she should have been there to see it take the next step. He knew she'd have been so proud to see Howard propose to Bernadette, and so excited to see the moment Bernadette put on the ring. But she wasn't there. Penny wasn't there to see such a wonderful moment for the couple that she had credit for, and he hated that. After all the gossip and confusion, she wasn't there to see the conclusion. It would have been like one of those romantic comedy films she loved to watch, he thought, he was certain she would have tears in her eyes.

He hated to think it, but it was kind of Priya's fault that Penny wasn't there to see this. She hadn't offered to invite her over again for dinner. When he'd told her the gossip he'd heard from Penny, she had gone on about how much of a rumor-spreading bigmouth Penny was, which he had thought was a bit hypocritical considering Priya had been the one who told him about Raj. He had pointed this out to her, feeling the need to defend Penny, and she had insisted what she said wasn't gossip, simply passing on information about her brother. She'd gone off then, so he hadn't brought it back up. And now, because his girlfriend had felt threatened enough by Penny - for no real given reason, he had realized - to ask him to no longer hang out with her, Penny had missed out on something amazing that she had every right to be a part of.

Going over to get a drink from the kitchen to put him in a better mood about the engagement now that his initial excitement had worn off, he shook his head slightly, but his mind just wouldn't let him forget that Penny ought to be here right now.

"Hey."

The voice was soft, but Leonard still jumped slightly and spilt some of his wine as he poured it. He wasn't sure why he had gone for wine, he didn't usually drink it, but it was there and looked like a good idea.

"Hey, Bernadette," he said, turning to her, and grinned. He couldn't believe Howard had proposed to Bernadette, or even found someone like her. Penny had done a good job. He pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Leonard." Bernadette grinned back at him once the hug was over.

"Wine?" Leonard offered, gesturing to his glass.

"Oh, no thank you, Howie poured me a glass of champagne and I don't want to mix my drinks." Bernadette smiled. They stood quietly as he took a sip of the wine, and she glanced at the bottle he had poured it from. It was the same white wine that Penny always bought, she noticed. "I should probably thank you."

Leonard put his glass down and raised a brow. "Really? What for?"

"For keeping your end of the pact and asking Penny to set Howie up with somebody." Bernadette patted his arm. "I was a bit reluctant at first, she'd pointed him out to me before, but she kept going on about how her boyfr- how you had a pact and that she got pacts because of some Bert and Ernie thing."

Leonard wondered why Bernadette had backtracked on 'boyfriend' - it wasn't as though it was a secret they had dated, or that they completely ignored the fact that they had ever done so. She was a kind person; he knew that, so he quickly figured she was just being cautious. With the smallest of smirks, he remembered what he and Penny had been doing before mentioning the pact.

Bernadette giggled and gave him one of her creepy grins. "Yeah, she told me about what you were doing before you mentioned the pact too, and how it ended. I believe her phrases were 'definitely an A+' and 'oh God my panties' - but, umm," Bernadette trailed off, clearing her throat as she blushed slightly. "I don't think I was meant to say that, so, anyway... thank you."

"Ah, no, thank you." Leonard grinned smugly. He was definitely proud of that night. He took another sip of his wine as he realized Bernadette was looking at him funny, and pulled on an indifferent expression. "Sorry. Guy stuff. We like hearing that kind of stuff."

"I know, I'm engaged to _Howie_," Bernadette rolled her eyes in amusement.

"Who wouldn't thought... Howard Wolowitz." Leonard nodded his head.

Again, they were quiet for a moment, before Bernadette spoke again, this time softly and quietly. "I'm going to text Penny to let her know."

Raising his gaze from the table to look at Bernadette, Leonard studied her expression. He could tell she had been waiting to tell him this, he could see the nervous anticipation. With that, he could see that she also felt Penny's absence, and that she also felt that Penny should be part of this. He always felt as though Bernadette understood him, and understood Penny, and the role she played in the group. And most of all, he could see that Bernadette too knew how much Penny would have loved to been part of the moment Howard Wolowitz proposed to Bernadette Rostenkowski.

"Yeah," Leonard said after a moment, smiling gently. "You should."

"Do you want to do it? To text her?" Bernadette asked quickly.

"No, no," Leonard shook his head. "It's your news, you should tell her."

* * *

He had just dropped Priya and Raj back to their apartment when his phone buzzed. Assuming one of them had left something at his apartment, he pulled it from his pocket.

_**OMG Amy is pregnant**_

Jaw dropping as he read Penny's text, another followed through straight after.

_**!**_

Just as suddenly as the news had arrived, Amy was in front of him.

"You're pregnant?!" He exclaimed, looking at Amy in disbelief.

"Wow. Is there anything in there about orthotics?"

Amy looked over at his phone, and Leonard continued to look at her in shock. After a moment, she shrugged and continued walking down the stairs. He simply stood there for a few more seconds, before his phone buzzed again and he looked down at it. It was another set of exclamation marks from Penny. He chuckled this time, and headed up the stairs, wide eyed. Instead of turning into his own apartment, he walked over to Penny's and walked straight in.

"I can't believe Sheldon got Amy pregnant!" Penny practically jumped off the couch upon seeing him.

"I know! I just saw her! Did she say anything else?" Leonard closed the door behind him, phone still in his hand.

"Umm, something about orthotics." Penny shrugged.

"Odd. She said the same to me." Leonard raised a brow.

"Who cares? Sheldon Cooper - _Sheldon Cooper - _got Amy pregnant!" Penny hit Leonard's arm.

"Wait a second-" Leonard held up a hand. "When she told you they had sex, what else did she say?"

"I dunno, something about a herb garden. What the hell has that got to do with what we're talking about?"

Leonard shook his head in disbelief as it clicked in his mind. "I can't believe it. Hold on."

He walked out of Penny's apartment and into 4A, where Sheldon was sat at his laptop. The two roommates looked at eat other, and Leonard walked over to Sheldon's desk, arms folded. Penny stood at the doorway of her apartment and watched from there, confused.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, have you and Amy been spreading rumors, testing the meme hypothesis?" Leonard asked, chin tilted upwards slightly as he looked down at Sheldon. He smiled slightly when he saw Sheldon's eye begin to twitch. "Did you really engage in coitus with Amy? And is she really pregnant with your child?"

Sheldon's eye continued to twitch as he looked at Leonard. He tried to stare him out, and force a lie out of his mouth, but it wouldn't happen. Instead, he let out an annoyed, exasperated sigh. "Amy is a _vixen _Leonard, she played on my fondness for experimentation!"

"Hmm. That's what I thought." Leonard shook his head.

As he turned on his heel to leave, Sheldon frowned. "Where are you going?"

Leonard stopped in his tracks. "What?"

"Where are you going?" Sheldon repeated. "You live here, remember, and schedule dictates you are sleeping in our apartment tonight. I know you have dropped Raj and Priya home because he recently tweeted that he had made a delightful cup of cocoa for himself and Priya. You have no other commitments at this hour. Thus, I repeat my question: where are you going?"

"Umm." Leonard could feel Sheldon's eyes watching him. Sheldon probably wouldn't care if he answered that he was going over to Penny's, and he probably wouldn't even think anything of it. But he _would_ tell Amy, and then it would spread, and if the recent gossip had taught him anything, it could end up being said that he was more than just visiting her. He looked up slightly to Penny standing just inside of her doorway. She seemed to be thinking the same thing he was, as she shook her head slowly at him, not moving too much to stay out of Sheldon's line of vision. He thought he could see a hint of fear in her eyes, though fear of _what _exactly he couldn't be sure - perhaps of the same thing he was thinking, of something spreading like the news of Bernadette and Howard's possible break up, formulating other pieces of gossip. And he couldn't blame her, really. She pointed to his door with a finger and mouthed 'close it'. He squinted at her, and then it dawned on him that she was feeding him an excuse as for turning around instead of going to his bedroom: he hadn't closed the apartment door. Simple. "Uh, I didn't shut the door."

"Oh!" Sheldon tilted his head to look at the door, feeling slightly stupid that he hadn't realized that it had been left open. Leonard saw Penny move into her apartment as Sheldon moved. "Yes, of course, my apologies. I've grown accustomed to your slamming the door shut whenever you enter the apartment." He raised a brow. "Penny's door is open."

Walking over to close the door to 4A, Leonard saw Penny shrug with her arms open, and begin to close her own door as he shut his. "Maybe she's airing it out because she tried cooking and burnt the food. I thought I could smell burnt pasta when I came up here."

Sheldon nodded. "That is very likely." He turned back to his laptop as Leonard sat down in his armchair, and then turned to face him with a troubled expression on his face. "Leonard, I need to ask you something."

"Okay?"

"Earlier, I used the phrase 'blow-by-blow' and Amy asked if it was an intentional pun."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't see the pun, Leonard."

"Well... what's the context of the conversation?"

"Oh, yes, of course, context." Sheldon stood up and went over to sit in his spot. "We were discussing the penetration of our original meme - that Amy and I had engaged in sexual intercourse."

Leonard smirked and had to stop himself from laughing at Sheldon's use of the word penetration, and his oblivion to where the pun was in 'blow-by-blow' in such a discussion. He knew Amy would have found it hilarious, she was friends with Penny after all. She'd probably picked that kind of thinking up from Penny, now that he thought about it. "You really should have Amy explain that to you, or look it up in the book we got you."

"Not the book again," Sheldon moaned, rolling his eyes like a child. "It's so disgusting! And I don't want to ask Amy, that's embarrassing!" He trampled his feet slightly.

"Well, if you want to know, you have those two options. I'm not discussing... blow-by-blows with you."

"Fine." Sheldon sat back. He hated that book, it made him uncomfortable and did nothing to ease his dislike of touching people and exchanging all sorts of germs and bodily fluids. He turned to Leonard again. "Did you and Penny do blow-by-blows?"

_Well that was unexpected, _Leonard thought, eyes wide again behind his glasses. He was doing that a lot recently. He wanted to laugh at Sheldon's forwardness and complete lack of understanding over what he had just asked, but most of his mind was busy trying _not _to think of the blow-by-blows. Sheldon had a way of making certain phrases stick, first chew toy, now blow-by-blow. Eventually he let out a small chuckle, he never was comfortable talking about his sex life, especially when it came to Penny. Not because it was _bad, _quite the opposite, he was quite proud of it. Bragging about it, he didn't mind that. But actually talking about it was weird, and he blamed Howard for creeping him out so much.

"I'm sure when you find out what it means, you'll have your answer." Leonard pushed himself out of the armchair, and walked down the hallway, smirking. "Goodnight, Sheldon."

Closing his door behind him, Leonard shook his head and let out a small laugh as he got undressed, slipping into his bed in his white t-shirt and boxers, socks still on as usual. He rolled over onto his front and picked his phone up from his nightstand, where he'd placed it from his pants pocket. He was too entertained to _not _text Penny this news.

_**Sheldon just asked me what 'blow-by-blow' was, he and Amy were talking about 'penetration of the meme' and she asked if it was a pun. **_

Sending the message, he chuckled to himself once more. He went to check his Twitter, and saw Raj's tweet that Sheldon had mentioned earlier. He clicked the little star that would add it to his favourites, mainly out of obligation of it mentioning his girlfriend. Oddly, his mind didn't even stick to thoughts of his girlfriend as he continued to scroll through the timeline. He re-tweeted Howard and Bernadette's tweets, and wrote a congratulatory one himself, before he received a reply from Penny.

_**Omg what did you say to that?! Ha ha! Cant believe they made all that stuff up though should have guessed, its to early for coitus for those kids x**_

Leonard considered his response. Did he tell Penny about Sheldon's next question? He wasn't sure if that was appropriate, bringing it up to his ex-girlfriend... but then again, he was sure that line had been crossed when he had teased her about her chew toy. _It's not as though I'm suggesting a blow-by-blow, as it were... _

_**Told him to read THE book or ask Amy. I know, i think we were all too shocked to see through it. He also asked 'did you and Penny do blow-by-blows' ... i told him when he knows he'll have his answer.**_

He sent the message, and went on to check his Facebook, where again he liked the news of Howard and Bernadette's engagement, and the photo of the ring. It really was amazing, he hadn't imagined Howard ever settling down - Bernadette must be some woman to get him to this point, he was very impressed. The text notification came through, and he clicked on the banner at the top of his phone to take him to the message.

_**Oh we sure did do blow by blows ;) x**_

Shaking his head with a smirk, Leonard just stared at the message. Now that, he really didn't know how to answer. He wondered what she was thinking about when she sent him that text message, and if the winky face was purposely flirtatious or she had just thought it would be funny to put it there. He put his phone back on his nightstand, and picked up the book he had been reading, in desperate need of getting all thoughts of the now named blow-by-blow out of his mind before he went to sleep, or the text escalated.

* * *

Penny honestly wasn't sure _why _she had sent Leonard that text message. She had known she really shouldn't have sent it, or thought it, or added the wink at the end, or even the kiss. Slumping back into the pillows, she decided to blame it on how easily worked up she was these days. That, and she'd taken her break at work with Kim today, who had been telling her a story... yes, she blamed Kim. Going back and leaving Leonard's message, he hadn't replied for fifteen minutes, she clicked on her text conversation with Kim.

_**Ugh I just text Leonard saying 'we sure did do blow by blows' with a cockamamie ;) and x at the end. Now its all I can think about. Arrrghhh! And before u go all ooh about it, his crazy roommate asked him what it meant (the same one who named it a chew toy). I blame u and your story from earlier, theres sharing and then theres... your story. x**_

Not wanting to lose Kim as a friend, or compromise the trust they shared, Penny had apologized to her and simply told her that she didn't want to talk about what had happened yet. She knew Kim would make her talk eventually, and she probably would, though she didn't want to think about having to do that just yet. It was slightly easier talking to Kim, as she was an outsider from her circle of friends, and understood her without bias or judgment. They both shared crazy experiences from when they were younger, and they both stubbornly refused to share their emotions as they grew up. She felt her phone buzz, and unlocked it to read Kim's reply.

_**Wow. Did he reply to that? Im not sorry that was a good story it ended really well and u know it! U need to get some go find ur chew toy and use ur imagination, im sure after your dream you had the other night you will have no problem with that ;) xxx**_

Penny scoffed, she knew she shouldn't have told Kim about her dream, she always brought these things back to her.

_**Nope :( probably a good thing though... shut up! My chew toy broke when i threw it in my closet. Did u see, Bernadette's engaged! x**_

Despite knowing that Kim had probably already seen the tweets and Facebook posts, and had probably received a text from Bernadette too, she added it to get away from the subject. She grinned, Bernadette was engaged... to _Howard_. She felt like cupid, and reminded herself to congratulate Bernadette on seeing beneath Howard's creepy candy coating and letting the adorable side of Howard shine through.

_**Yeah I saw, cant believe it! I thought u said she was breaking up with him! Too bad, theres an article in Cosmo that might help you ;) Im off, booty calls! xxx**_

Penny giggled. Kim definitely wasn't shy about sharing her own sex life. She sighed as she realized she hadn't bought the latest issue of the said magazine, and decided maybe it was better she hadn't. Kim would probably tell Bernadette about this, and Bernadette would tell Amy, and then the teasing would begin again. She hated that, Leonard had already figured it out, he was so smug about it, it was embarrassing - if they were dating, or he didn't have a girlfriend, she probably wouldn't mind so much. She decided to write one last message to Kim.

_**Whatever. I'm just gonna go to sleep and think about shoes, I got a new pair with my bonus and I have enough for another pair :) Booty calls, u disgust me Miss Kimberly! x**_

Knowing she was going to hear about it tomorrow anyway when they came in to work, Penny put her phone down and shut out her light, focusing her mind on trying to decide if she wanted to buy the pretty pink heels or the sexy black heels.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N - So happy that you enjoyed the previous chapter, your reviews really made me smile. It seems the general consensus is that we all agree Penny should have been there for the Howadette proposal! And I'm glad tying the show in worked out. I've done it again here... but it was mainly for a specific part, which we get at the end of this chapter, and for a bit of Bernadette. I've already begun the next chapter, so if you're lucky you might get three updates this week - so get those reviews in and keep me motivated! :) I got some L/P stuff coming up soon, hang in there. Let me know what you think, for some reason I'm nervous about this chapter. I dunno why. Happy Hello Kitty Monday! :) **

* * *

"I wonder why she didn't tell me?" Leonard wondered out loud. If Bernadette knew about Penny's 3D movie, why didn't he? She usually told him everything first, jumping up and down in excitement, grinning from ear to ear with a slightly shocked expression in her eyes - he could picture it even now.

Priya turned to look at him. "Have you been spending time with you ex-girlfriend?"

"No." Leonard replied, far too quickly.

"Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you?"

"Well it's not as much... as... um, uh..." Leonard stuttered. "You know..." He stuttered nervously again. "Other thing."

"What other thing?"

Again, he stuttered, this time worse. _Oh come on! _"I don't... uh... what's the word I'm looking for?" He turned to Howard, hoping his desperation for help didn't appear too obvious in front of his girlfriend.

"I'm not gonna help you this is hilarious." Howard laughed.

"She's also dating an astronaut." Bernadette put in.

"Wow, that's very impressive." Priya raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah... but Leonard's impressive too." Bernadette looked over at Leonard as he reached into his pocket. She hadn't anticipated this response from him.

His chest felt tight. _Inhaler. _Penny was dating an astronaut? No. Wasn't she single anymore? How had she even met an astronaut anyway? He didn't know why this made him panic so much. Who was he kidding? She had met someone, she was moving on. Someone better than him. An _astronaut. _That was much more exciting than dating an experimental physicist. He was probably tall and handsome too. Why hadn't she told him? She hadn't told him about the movie, or the astronaut... why? It felt like she was just suddenly slipping away from him, too soon and much too fast.

"Thank you." His chest still felt tight. He turned to Priya, in attempt to fix things. "Befuddled. The word I was looking for was befuddled."

He could tell from the way Priya was looking at him and the aggressive spinning of spaghetti with her fork that she was less than impressed with him. Having another mouthful of spaghetti to occupy himself, he could still hear her fork scraping the plate.

If he was being honest, he didn't see what the problem was. Penny _hadn't _told him about the movie. Penny _hadn't _told him about the astronaut. Wasn't that what Priya had wanted in the first place? For them not to hang out with each other, or, apparently, based on how she was reacting right now, even talk to each other? So he was flustered and shocked by this information. Most people would be the same, he thought, if their ex was suddenly making huge leaps in their career and dating astronauts. Especially if they had remained friends. Especially if they _did _still talk, and hang out, and...

And what? He didn't know how to finish his own sentence. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore, but he knew he couldn't just stop eating. He didn't want to, he needed to do something or his mind would be too free to overthink, more so than he was doing now. He wished he wasn't bothered by this news, but the fact was that it got to him, it got to his heart. He wondered why she hadn't told him. It could be because of what had been going on between them, that made her not want to tell him, he thought. He was uncertain as to why that should be the reason, but it was plausible in his mind. Or maybe she was just slowly detaching herself from him.

This must be how she had felt when she'd found out about him and Priya, he realized suddenly. Had she felt the same things he was feeling right now? Confusion, shock, and... loss, if he had to find a word for it. Though loss of what, he couldn't decide. It wasn't a loss of a relationship - so perhaps a loss of the _chance _of a relationship? That didn't make sense either, he thought to himself angrily. He was already in a relationship, and their own had ended a while back now, how could he still feel loss for that? Maybe the loss had been clearer to her, she was single at the time, so she'd lost him as a potential partner.

Honestly, he had no idea what was happening in is mind right now. All he knew was that Penny was dating some other guy now, she was going to be in a movie, and she hadn't told him, and it scared him, because to him, that meant that he was losing her. And he didn't care that Priya was angry, he should be allowed to know these things about Penny.

It had been a strange night after that, and a very long night too, even though it actually didn't last _that _long. Bernadette had kept going to the toilet, and was very on-edge the whole time. They had played Jenga, which he was thankful for, as it meant that he could concentrate his mind on something. Priya had made some coffee, which he was thankful for, though when he went to the bathroom he took a few puffs of his inhaler again. Every time he thought of Penny and the astronaut he'd pictured in his mind, his chest felt uncomfortably tight.

After Bernadette had stormed out and Howard had followed, he hadn't really stayed long. Things were slightly awkward with Priya after the dinner event, so he had finished off his coffee and said goodbye. He hadn't brought over any overnight stuff anyway, and she hadn't objected to him leaving.

Upon finally getting some time to himself, he had driven home quickly, making sure to focus his mind on the road and not this new Penny news. He had succeeded, forcing himself to think of complex equations and experiments he hated doing as he walked up the stairs, past her apartment, into his, undressed, washed, and into bed. That's when he finally let his mind go, and when he got a text from Penny.

_**Im dot dating astronaut! Or doing movie! God dabit. **_

His mind relaxed instantly at that fact. But he didn't stay relaxed for long when his mind went back into overdrive. Had Bernadette been lying to him? _Why _had she told them that, if she wasn't?

As he looked at the text, he realized from the way it was written, as well as from instinct, that she was drunk - or at least, had had a little more than enough to drink. _She's upset about something_. He could tell. He sat up, he had to go over and visit her and find out what she was upset about and why Bernadette had said all that stuff. It was bothering him, really bothering him.

Suddenly he remembered that Sheldon told him Amy was going to be spending her evening with Penny, and he'd seen Amy go over earlier anyway. He threw himself back into his pillows, turning onto his front and squeezing his eyes shut. His glasses were pressing into him but he didn't care. Penny had Amy there to talk to, and probably Bernadette. He wanted to text her 'what the hell is going on?' but he knew he'd never send that even if he wrote it. Wishing he had more confidence, and that Penny wasn't so emotionally closed, or that Bernadette had snapped and told them what was happening before she ran out, he groaned into his pillow.

* * *

"I don't care, Amy!" Penny growled, tears stinging her eyes, which were already slightly blurry from all the wine. "I sent it, I don't care, Leonard has to know I'm not seeing a stupid astronaut or doing a stupid movie in _stupid _Prague!"

"Penny, you have to _stop_." Amy reasoned. "I know you're upset-"

"He's going to _India _to meet her parents! They could be _engaged_!" Penny moaned, throwing her phone to the floor. "The only person who probably doesn't know I'm upset is the _one _person I want to comfort me!"

Amy was more than a little hurt by this. "There are other people who can comfort you. Me, for example."

"I'm sorry," Penny sniffed, reaching for her glass of wine. "But I just didn't think I cared this much."

Amy frowned, and took Penny's glass of wine before she could reach it. "No more of this for you." When Penny glared at her, Amy sighed. "Look... you've been so good with not drinking, and you've already had too much. You're going to regret sending that text to Leonard. That could have waited until you're less upset and when you're in person. You _know _he's going to be overthinking what Bernadette has told him, as well as your text. You know that, Penny. So not only are you making this difficult but yourself, but for him too. You're my bestie, and believe it or not, but you can be difficult to handle sometimes, especially like this."

She was right, Penny knew that, but it didn't stop her from hurting. Unable to think of a response, she simply put her head in her hands, pressing her palms to her eyes until she saw patterns. There was a knock at the door then, and she felt Amy get off the couch and answer the door. Next, she heard Bernadette's soft voice say 'hey', and she forced her hands away from her eyes to look up at her.

"You can tell me," Penny said blankly, waving her hand dismissively. "Go on."

"Penny," Bernadette came to sit on one side of Penny, Amy on the other. "Leonard and Priya aren't engaged. She says they're not there yet. They're just going to India together. Priya hasn't even told her parents yet about Leonard."

"Oh." Penny blinked, her tears making her eyelashes stick. "Really?"

"Yeah." Bernadette rubbed her arm gently.

"Oh _God_." Penny felt relief course through her, and she leant back against the couch. She hadn't even thought about Leonard and Priya getting engaged, moving further with their relationship, and the sudden idea of it had freaked her out. She felt kind of stupid, the way she had reacted and getting so worked up about it. She also felt ashamed of herself; she'd turned straight to wine, it had seemed like the only option at the time. It was disappointing, really, that she had broken so easily. Right in front of her friend as well, and that was quite frightening for her too. And all because she'd found out they were going to India.

"You okay?" Bernadette asked after a while, and Penny opened her eyes to see a comforting smile.

"Yeah," Penny nodded slightly. "I just didn't think I'd get so upset about it." She sat forward, letting out a heavy sigh. "God, this is so stupid."

"I think the alcohol may have intensified your reactions," Amy said. "But if you want to talk, we're here for you bestie."

"Thanks, Ames." Penny gave her a weak smile. Amy was right; the wine had made her over react more than she should have. She could still feel the blurriness in her head, now that she'd gotten the emotions out. Even with the offer of talking, and the way she had just shown completely how upset the news had made her, she still didn't want to talk. They would tell her things like, it's natural to feel this way, obviously you will take things like this with difficulty - things she didn't need to hear. If they knew half of what was going on, if she herself knew what was going on with her, then maybe there'd be some way to make this easier. "I don't wanna talk... I don't need to, it's fine, really."

Bernadette looked at Penny with a frown. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Bernie, it just came as a... a huge shock, that's all, and it scared me." Penny nodded. "I should probably have some water though..."

"I'll get that for you." Amy stood up, taking Penny's wine glass and bottle as she went. Getting to the sink, she let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't expect that at all from Penny, and she was already struggling today what with her new heels and all.

"You know what I think might help you?" Bernadette asked, getting up and heading to Penny's stack of DVDs and collection of box sets.

"Please don't say talking or a girls night." Penny groaned. "I already hate myself for having that wine and I don't need to talk."

"No, that's not what I was going to say." Bernadette rolled her eyes, knowing full well that Penny needed to talk at some point. "You remember in Friends, when Rachel finds out Ross and Emily are going to get married? She was upset too, even though she convinced herself she was okay with everything." Bernadette pulled out the case and found the disc with the specific episode on it. "I think you should watch it, and have your water, then go to sleep. Maybe you'll feel better about yourself then."

"Oh, that's... that sounds great, Bernadette," Penny smiled at her friend. She hadn't even thought of that, which was strange because she usually turned to television when she was upset - as well as alcohol, though that had been changing recently.

Amy placed a bottle of water on the table, as well as a glass. "Here you go, bestie. The glass of water contains aspirin - I suggest you drink that, you will be grateful for it in the morning. The bottle is from your fridge, so once you've finished the glass you have something to drink if you don't feel like getting up."

"You guys are great!" Penny grinned, almost certain the enthusiasm in her voice was from the wine.

"Would you like us to stay?" Bernadette asked, handing the remote control to Penny. _If she says yes I get dibs on not sleeping in bed with her, _Bernadette thought with a supressed shudder.

"Oh, it's okay, I'll be fine." Penny assured them. "I'm not _that _drunk."

"If you need anything, let me know." Amy picked up her bag.

"You sure there's nothing else you wanna talk about?" Bernadette asked, lingering by the couch for a moment.

Penny bit her lip as she looked at Bernadette, but her eyes hurt when she tried to focus on her expression. She needed that water. "No, I'm okay now, thank you."

"Alright," Bernadette sighed, also picking up her bag and joining Amy at the door.

"Oh, wait, can you... do one little thing for me?" Penny asked, looking pleadingly at her two girls.

"Yeah?" Bernadette turned her head to Penny quickly.

"Of course, bestie." Amy said sincerely.

"I don't know what to tell Leonard about... about the whole astronaut thing..." Penny said quietly, her face still pleading them for their help. "I-I told him it wasn't true but I don't know what to say to him." _And if I know Leonard, he's going to be overthinking this all to the point he can't sleep, _Penny thought - even with a decent amount of alcohol in her system she still knew how he'd react.

"Don't worry." Bernadette said, giving Penny a reassuring smile. Perhaps she wouldn't talk to her, but that didn't mean she couldn't help her out when she needed it. "I got to work on my lying skills today, I can use them a bit more. I'll tell him I made that stuff up."

"Oh, Bernadette, you don't have to do that-"

"Well do _you _want to be the one to explain to him what happened?" Bernadette barked, knowing it was the most effective way to make Penny back down and agree with her.

Penny blinked at her, mouth slightly open in shock at her tone, before sighing and sitting back into the couch. "No."

"That's what I thought."

"Thank you, Bernie."

"The Nuns would not be happy with me... well, they never really were." Bernadette shrugged thoughtfully. "See you tomorrow, Penny."

"Let me know how it goes with Leonard, okay?"

"I will."

"If you need anything, bestie, you just text me and I'll be right over." Amy nodded to Penny.

The two girls left with a look back at Penny, who had begun on her aspirin water and picked up the remote control, before they shut the door behind them.

"You really have a dominating edge. Paired with your ample bosom, I can truly understand what the boys see in you." Amy winked at Bernadette, grinning.

"Uh, thank you." Bernadette pulled a face. "I'm going to talk to Leonard. You want to come with me and see if you can have a night-time chat with Sheldon?"

"No, that's okay, Sheldon doesn't appreciate visitors after the hour of ten o'clock." Amy stated. "Good luck, strawberries. You did well today until you upset our bestie."

"I didn't upset her!" Bernadette hissed as Amy turned to walk down the stairs. Rolling her eyes, Bernadette walked over to 4A and knocked on the door. She wondered if Leonard would hear the knock, he might be in bed. He could be at Priya's, but she reasoned that after tonight he probably wasn't. With a sigh, she took her phone out and text him to say she was at the door. At least if he didn't reply or open the door, she'd know to leave.

Just as Bernadette was about to sit down on the steps and give Leonard another five minutes, he opened the door. "Bernadette?"

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" She asked, taking in his robe and confused expression, and the white socks on his feet that Penny had mentioned some time before she'd met him.

"No. Well I was in bed but I wasn't asleep."

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, Leonard tying his robe tighter and Bernadette looking down at her shoes. She looked up at him and sighed inwardly.

"I have to tell you something about all the stuff I told you guys about Penny when we were having dinner today."

"Oh, it's okay, she texted me that she's not dating an astronaut or doing a film in Prague." Leonard shrugged, trying to act as though this hadn't bothered him, despite the fact that Bernadette had seen his reactions to the news earlier. "It's cool." _Oh God I think I need my inhaler again... _

"Yeah, it's cool my _ass_." Bernadette furrowed her brow. "I made that stuff up. I thought it would be a good idea to talk Penny up in front of Priya, it started off with the thing about her doing a movie but I got carried away. When I told her she got mad at me."

"Okay..." Leonard frowned. "Why?"

"_Why_? What are you, the FBI?" Bernadette found herself barking at him when she couldn't think of an answer why. She really was no good at lying.

"Alright, okay! You sound like Mrs. Wolowitz when you do that." Leonard reclined his head from her, scrunching his face. "It's _weird_."

Bernadette huffed at him in response.

Leonard shuffled awkwardly in the silence. "Did... did you tell her about India?"

Sighing, Bernadette relaxed her body, and patted Leonard's arm sympathetically. "Yeah. Did you not want her to find out?"

"No, no, it's fine." Again, Leonard tried to shrug away any emotion he felt at that moment. "What did she say?"

"She... she was kind of freaked out, at first, but... she's okay now. Well, you know Penny, she says she's okay..." Bernadette trailed off, hoping she wouldn't have to continue her sentence.

Leonard rubbed his temples. "Penny was drunk, wasn't she? I could tell from her text."

"Only a little." Bernadette reassured him, giving him a soft smile. Her heart really went out to him; he genuinely cared for Penny, in a very special way that she didn't see between many people these days. She almost felt bad about lying to him, but she knew Penny would kill her if she told Leonard what really had been happening during the course of dinner with Amy and Penny feeding her stories to tell him, Priya and Howard. "I think she just took the news really harshly and needed something to help her deal with it."

"Oh God." Leonard groaned as he tilted his head back. "I feel awful."

Bernadette shook her head. "No, Leonard, you shouldn't. She's just not good at dealing with... anything. You would be the same. You struggled when I told you she was seeing an astronaut, didn't you? Don't feel bad for yourself. None of this is going to be easy on either of you."

Leonard sighed. "I know."

Once more, they stood in silence for a while. Leonard begged himself not to think how upset Penny must have gotten over that news if she had broken her own work of keeping to one, maximum two glasses.

"Leonard, can I ask you something?" Bernadette asked, her voice quiet, and calm in a way that sounded very inviting to Leonard.

"Sure."

"Do you want to go to India?"

"No," Leonard said quickly, honestly, shaking his head. "It's _India_. I mean, it sounds really interesting, and I want to meet Priya's parents, but... it doesn't really sound like my kind of place. Raj always talks about all the over-crowding and... I don't wanna be using my asthma inhaler all the time, I already have to use it at Comic-Con when it's really busy. And I _really _don't think Priya's parents will like me as their daughter's boyfriend. I spoke to them on Skype before, Raj introduced us, and she thought Sheldon and I were 'like Harun and Tanvir'. I'm pretty sure they like Howard more than me."

"I'm sure that's not how they'll see you when they find out you're dating Priya."

Bernadette wondered if those were really the only reasons he didn't want to go to India with Priya. Truthfully, she didn't believe they were, or that those were even the real reasons he didn't want to go. Although he was the more open of the pair, she thought that Leonard could be just as stubborn as Penny was when it came to how he really felt. She saw how he looked at Penny, and she saw how Penny looked at him, in the rare moments they were together. And beneath all the crap Penny tried to feed them about being okay with everything that was happening, Bernadette knew that okay was probably the last thing Penny was feeling. Up until now she hadn't really considered Leonard; he had Priya, but what about all those feelings for Penny? Feelings didn't just disappear. From what Kim had told her, and what Howard had told her, there had been a _lot _of feelings, more open ones on Leonard's behalf. A voice higher and squeakier than her own that resided in her mind urged her to demand from him an explanation of what _his _feelings were. But, if Bernadette was honest with herself, she wasn't really comfortable doing that.

"Okay," she said eventually. "I don't mean to pry, I was just checking."

"Don't worry about it."

She leaned in and hugged him quickly. "Don't overthink anything, it is what it is."

With those words, she parted, heading down the stairs with a tired bounce in her step.

Leonard watched her go, and then looked at Penny's door. With ever ounce of control he had, he walked back into his own apartment, locking the door, and heading back into his bedroom and then his bed.

_Bernadette already told you, Penny's not that drunk, she's fine, _Leonard told himself. _You don't need to be there to take care of her all the time._

He shut off his light and took his glasses off, putting them on the side carefully next to his phone, before turning over and forcing his eyes shut.

_If she needs you she'll text you. _Leonard sat up and tried to punch his pillow into a more comfortable position, before dropping back down and staring at nothing in particular. _It's not like you're in India and more than a text message away. _


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N - Hey Guest reviewer. I'm sorry you don't find my story imaginative. But you are poorly mistaken about using scenes straight from the show as I have 44 chapters in which I haven't, aside from small references. As you can see from the positive reviews you don't understand, I have a lovely bunch of readers, so if you don't like this that's cool with me. There are some great stories out there if this one doesn't appeal to you :) Moving on! I loved writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy reading it. The next will be mostly Leonard & Penny, you guys have been very patient... I'm moving things slowly with this story because I enjoy writing it so much. Let me know what you think, and _hopefully _the next chapter will be up Friday/Saturday! (I'll aim for Friday) Let me know what you think :) **

* * *

Penny paused in her tracks to smirk at Kim, who walked into the staff room and all but collapsed onto one of the benches.

"Never _again _am I going to have cheerleader sex the night before I'm working all day." Kim mumbled, pulling her apron off.

"That will teach you for thinking you're still as flexible as you were when you were twenty." Penny laughed, putting her bag down and sitting next to Kim. Going home could wait, she didn't have anything planned that night, and this was much more fun.

"Excuse me for trying to spice up my sex life!" Kim rolled her eyes.

"See, that's the advantage of not having sex." Penny grinned smugly. "No awkward sex wounds, I can walk, I can keep my mind on what I'm doing-"

"Oh _please_!" Kim exclaimed. "The other day when your friends left and you took their food away, I saw you practically give oral to one of Leonard's left over fries."

Choking on air, Penny blinked rapidly at Kim as she stuttered. "I was not... I was just _eating _the french fry. I hadn't eaten anything all day."

"Yeah, okay." Kim snorted.

Throwing Kim a dirty look, Penny huffed. "I hate you."

"I hate sex." Kim moaned.

"No, you don't."

"You're right, I don't. Just today." Kim winced as she turned to Penny. "So how _is _your not having sex thing going?"

"Well aside from giving a french fry the time of my life with my mouth, pretty great." Penny stuck two thumbs up with a sarcastic tone.

"You buy a new chew toy yet?"

Glaring at Kim, Penny jutted her jaw out. "I was going to ask you if you wanna come over to my place, but if this is what I'm going to get from you, I'm going to steal your car keys and you can _walk _home."

"Oh, I haven't been over in _ages_! Fine, I'll shut up about it." Kim turned to pick up her bag and smirked; they always had their best talks at each others apartments. That, and Penny always had coffee liquor.

"Good. I'll just clock us out."

Penny clocked the pair of them out, and then spent the short walk to her car laughing at Kim. Like they had many times before, they spent the car journey singing loudly to her car radio, bursting out with laughter at the parts that were simply too high for each of them to reach, but attempting it anyway. Going up the stairs to the fourth floor, Penny was all but crying with laughter as she watched Kim groan with every step, reminding her that she really was no longer the eighteen-year-old, or at most twenty-year-old, cheerleader she once was.

Her laughter stopped abruptly, however, when Leonard emerged from his apartment. She hadn't seen him in a while - though this was intentional, she'd been checking through her peephole that he wasn't in the hallway before she left. Not seeing on him on her way _up _had just been a stroke of luck. She still wasn't over her reactions from when she thought that he and Priya were engaged, or the fact that she'd texted him. Bernadette had been right though - she'd felt a bit better after watching the episode she'd suggested.

"Oh, hey," Leonard smiled, turning his head to look at her as he locked his apartment door.

"Hi." Penny replied awkwardly. He turned around, putting his key in his pocket, and she felt Kim nudge her. "Oh, this is Kim... you know Kim, from work."

"Hey," Kim gave Leonard a small wave. "I've served your table a few times."

"Yeah," Leonard nodded. "I think Howard tried to hit on you a few times before he met Bernadette."

"Mm, he's done that with most of the waitresses." Kim frowned. "Guess he got one in the end!"

"Who would've thought?" Leonard gave a nervous laugh; he could see Penny simply looking at him with an uneasy look on her face.

"We should go inside, Kim wants to sit down." Penny said quickly, when she felt Leonard's eyes on her. "And you... you have to get going to..."

"To the comic book store." Leonard finished for her. "Yeah, I have to pick Sheldon up, don't want to be late for that."

Penny made a noise somewhere between "mmh" and "yeah", mentally kicking herself for becoming a speechless teenager at the worst possible time.

"Nice to see you here, Kim," Leonard said politely, beginning to feel uneasy too. "Uh, I'll see you later, Penny."

As he climbed down the stairs, both Kim and Penny watched, listening until his footsteps had faded. Penny exhaled deeply, and turned to unlock her door, letting them both in. Kim instantly headed to the couch and sank down, and Penny leaned her forehead on the door.

"I hate myself," she muttered. "I physically hate myself."

"Penny." Kim said quietly. "I would get up to comfort you but... your couch is comfortable and soft, unlike the benches at work. So come over here, tell me what happened, and then if you don't want to talk about it afterwards we don't have to. Just tell me what happened."

Penny sighed, taking a moment to gather herself. Dropping her purse to the floor, she kicked off her shoes and walked, almost dejectedly, to the couch, where she flopped down next to Kim and groaned.

"It's so stupid," she began. "The other day Bernadette and Howard had dinner with Leonard and Priya, and Amy suggested she should be like a spy. So she was texting us what Priya said, and Priya said something about my acting career... so we told Bernadette to tell them I was doing a movie, in Prague, in 3D. It kind of escalated and we said I was dating an architect - but autocorrect changed that to freakin' astronaut - and it was all just _crazy_. I mean, _what _was I thinking?" Penny was surprised at how easily this was all coming out. It was like crying, she thought to herself; once you begin you can't stop. "And then Bernadette tells us that Leonard is going to India with Priya! So I asked her if they were engaged or something and she said she didn't know, and-and-and it just came as such a shock to me, I was so upset, I don't even know _why _because I know Leonard wants to get married. Oh _God _I just didn't know what to do so I had a bit too much wine, and I text him to say I'm not dating an astronaut or doing a film in Prague, I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or just shout, and... _ugh._" Penny shook her head, biting her lip in frustration. "They're not engaged. I was so, _so _happy to hear that. I want Leonard to be happy, I really do, and it's going to sound stupid, but _I'm _not ready for him to be engaged. You know? Bernadette said something to Leonard, she told him she made the lies up... but every time I see him now all I can think about is that he's going to be in India, meeting her parents... and _one _day he'll probably marry her and I'll still be here serving tables and going home to watch TV by myself considering getting drunk just so I have an excuse to call him."

"Alright." Kim tilted her head. "Do you ever thinking about doing that? Getting drunk just so you can call him?"

"No," Penny shook her head. "I can still see him now. But the other night I realized that I'd actually be stupid and pathetic enough to do that."

"Wouldn't that be taking advantage of the knowledge that he'd be there for you in an instant if needed?" Kim frowned.

"That's part of why I hate myself. _Knowing _I'd sink that low."

Kim sat back as she went over what Penny had told her in her head. Pursing her lips in contemplation, she looked at Penny, who was leaning her elbows on her knees and resting her chin in one hand, staring into space. That was a _lot _from Penny, and she hadn't expected it at all. She was used to Penny doing this, letting out a lot of things in one go, but it didn't happen very often. Even though she knew this wasn't everything Penny had to say, it was still more information than usual. She had known Penny would probably freak out if Leonard made any sign of moving his new relationship forward, but she hadn't guessed that it would affect her _that _much and that strongly. As was usually best, Kim decided not to go down the 'serious' route with Penny, in case it scared her too much.

"You probably also hate yourself because you keep thinking about those blow-by-blows."

Penny was grateful that Kim didn't press her further, but threw her a glare none-the-less. Getting that out of her system was relieving, _someone _knew how she felt, at least if she needed it, there'd be someone to stop her from doing the things that she'd hate herself for. Though answering Kim's last comment wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. "Yeah, that too."

Kim smirked. _Just keep her going like this and she won't freak out too much. _"You thinking about them now?"

There was a pause, and Penny sat back against the couch, putting her hands in her lap. "_Now _I am."

"Okay, well, don't think about them too much because... you know... I'm right here." Kim gestured to the small space between them. "And as much as I love you and sharing stories with you, that ain't something I wanna hear."

"Shut up." Penny rolled her eyes at Kim.

"It's a shame your little toy's broken, bet you've needed it loads after you text me about the whole blow-by-blow thing."

"_Little_." Penny snorted.

"Aah, gotcha." Kim winked. "Not little."

"Remember when I said you could come over if you _didn't _give me all this crap about sex?" Penny reminded Kim.

"Sorry." Kim shrugged apologetically, before looking around the apartment. "This place hasn't changed in the slightest since I was here last."

"Just a few more clothes. You want a glass of wine?" Penny got up from the couch.

"I thought you weren't drinking?"

Penny stopped halfway to the kitchen, turning her head to look at Kim. "How do you know about that?"

"Uh," Kim bit her lip. "Bernadette told me. But don't be mad at her, she just mentioned it when she was thinking of doing a girls night."

"I'm not mad at her." Penny sighed, as she continued on to the kitchen. "I just didn't know you knew about that as well. Do you want a glass or not?"

"Sure." Kim watched as Penny got out two glasses and pulled out an open bottle of wine from the fridge. She poured a fair amount into each glass, and put the bottle back in the fridge. She wondered if this was Penny's way of not overdoing the drinking. Penny sat back down and she took her glass. They clinked and took a sip. "Mm, just like old times. I've missed this."

"Me too." Penny nodded. "What else did Bernadette tell you?" She asked suddenly, before quickly taking another sip of wine.

"Oh. Nothing. Just that she was thinking of doing a girls night to cheer you up a little, and that you'd stopped drinking because Leonard was worried about it. Why? Is there more?"

Penny squinted at Kim. "No. Did you tell her about... you know..." Penny gestured to her neck.

"I didn't." Kim smiled gently at Penny. "She could tell I know something, and she asked, but I didn't tell her. I told her that you should be the one to tell her, if you want to."

"Okay. Good." Penny nodded slowly. Her heart picked up it's pace as she thought about how much she had told Kim today already, and she took another sip of wine and stood up before she could begin to panic. "Let's put a film on."

* * *

Penny hummed to herself as she walked down the stairs, basket of laundry in hand. Kim's boyfriend had come to pick her up an hour ago; she'd stayed the night, complaining that all those stairs was too much for today, and Penny was happy for the company. Kim hadn't bugged her about Leonard after the film had started, for which she was very grateful. It was nice knowing that should she suddenly feel the need to tell her something, she was right there. The only problem was sleeping - after Bernadette and Amy had witnessed her dream, she was conscious of it happening again, especially when Kim was in the bed right next to her - she didn't want to make her sleep on the couch. She'd resolved this by thinking up the most non-sexual situations, such as her Dad sleeping on the couch, or the questionable mould growing on the bread in her 'fridgerator, Sheldon, and tipping cows. In the end, she's been counting cows when she fell asleep.

They'd slept in and after Penny successfully annoyed Kim by telling her she still snores like a man, they got up for breakfast and coffee. Her boyfriend collected her shortly after, and Penny stood at the top of the stairs laughing as Kim commented that today was slightly better for walking stairs, before going to clean up her apartment. All in all, not a bad morning at all. It was definitely nicer waking up with company, though she could think of one persons company she would have preferred.

_Oh well, _Penny sighed to herself as she set her basket down atop one of the machines. As usual, she tipped the whole basket into the machine, huffing as she picked up the pieces that decided going into the machine was just not good enough, and threw those in too. Suddenly she realized a problem: no washing powder or fabric softener. Biting her lip, she spotting a basket on top of the machine nearest the wall: Leonard's basket. _He won't mind, _she told herself, as she took out the washing powder and conditioner he had left in there. Like always, she sprinkled in the powder according to her fancy, and put it down, before unscrewing the lid of the conditioner.

"I believe that's mine."

"_Jesus_!" Penny jumped, heart racing in shock, as she poured too much of the conditioner into the machine.

"Sorry," Leonard grinned proudly as he walked over to her.

Penny looked at him and frowned. "You don't look sorry." She peered into the machine and sighed before closing it, and starting the cycle, before putting the lid back on the bottle, putting it to the side. "Thanks to you, my clothes are going to be overly soft now."

"Well, you're using my stuff, so, really that's your own fault." Leonard pointed out.

"I forgot I didn't have any." Penny pouted. "And my stuff was already in the machine."

"It's okay, I don't mind." Leonard chuckled, as his machine buzzed that the cycle was finished. "Ah, good timing."

_At least this isn't as awkward as it was the other day. _Penny watched as Leonard took his clothes, one by one, out of the machine. She smiled at all the t-shirts that she recognized, and the multiple white socks that he always wore. There were only two shirts, one she recognized as one of his old ones, and then a new one that she guessed Priya had gotten him to buy. She didn't like that shirt, she decided at that moment. But that didn't matter right now, as she watched him move his things to the dryer - none of his laundry contained items of clothing that belonged to Priya. None of her panties, shirts, pajamas, nothing. She grinned at this. The amount of times Leonard had found _Penny's _panties in his laundry...

"What are you grinning at?" Leonard raised a brow as he began the dryer.

Penny shrugged. "Laundry."

"And that makes you happy?"

"Apparently."

He looked at her curiously. "Not drinking alcohol does weird things to you."

As they made their way out of the laundry room, Penny rolled her eyes. "When I have alcohol, you complain. When I don't have alcohol, you complain."

"I'm not complaining," Leonard said as they began their ascent to the fourth floor. "I'm just saying. What person gets all happy about laundry?"

"Sheldon does." Penny pointed out.

"Yes, but _you_ don't."

"What, I can't be happy about my clothes being clean?" Penny rolled her eyes again, this time over how ridiculous their conversation was. She was hardly going to tell him she was thinking about her panties mixed in with his laundry. "It's better than walking around naked."

Leonard stopped and raised a brow at her. _Well that makes avoiding talking about India easier at least. _"What?"

"I don't know." Penny blushed, blinking at him, before continuing the walk up the stairs. _Way to make things awkward again, Penny. _

They finished their walk to the fourth floor in an awkward silence, and stood looking at each other just as awkwardly in the hallway. Surprisingly, it was Leonard who spoke first.

"Penny... I don't want things to be awkward between us." Leonard said with a slightly pained, but hopeful expression. It had been on his mind for a while, from the moment he'd watched her tip her laundry into the machine and contemplated going back up the stairs in case she didn't want to talk to him. Then he'd thought telling her off for using his washing stuff would maybe make things a bit easier, to have a mundane conversation, but still it had circled back to this awkwardness.

He hated that awkwardness. It wasn't that he wanted to brush things under the rug and leave them unspoken, it was more that he wanted to at least try and have some sense of normality with her. Maybe it would be easier for them to really talk things through first, once and for all, but he wasn't going to push her - he'd done that once before, and that hadn't ended well at all. If he had to wait, or even if she decide she didn't ever want to talk to him about anything that had been going on, then fine, he couldn't do anything about that unless he wanted to be the idiot who pushed her away even further. But he wasn't going to let awkwardness get in the way of things, if it could be helped. It was slightly scary saying that, but it had to be better than _not _talking to her, or searching desperately for some form of conversation that wasn't completely pointless.

From the way she was chewing her lip, he could see she was thinking of an answer. Her eyes looked worried. "Me neither, Leonard, but I don't know how... it's just difficult for it to _not _be awkward, sometimes."

"I know." Wondering if he sounded a bit needy, Leonard sighed. "How about we just," he gestured to his apartment. "Talk?"

Penny bit her lip. "Is that really a good idea?"

"To be honest, I don't know." Leonard replied truthfully, with a slouch of his shoulders. "But... we'll just talk. Nothing big, just... every day stuff."

Smiling, Penny nodded with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Okay, sure."

Following him into 4A, Penny acknowledged that she was nervous, but she trusted Leonard on this. Although she was surprised that he had come up with this whole idea, she was glad that he had, because she definitely didn't have the courage to do so. Perhaps it was all the times he would have used the same kind of courage to talk to people or say things out of his comfort zone when he was in school, she thought, that made it easier for him to say it. She could see that he was nervous too, his brow was furrowed as he wrung his hands, walking over to the fridge. He brought back over two bottles of water, and they sat down on the couch next to each other.

"So..." Leonard opened his bottle and took a quick sip of water. "How was your night with Kim?"

"You make it sound like a date." Penny giggled. "It was good. We had some wine - one glass, I promise - and put a film on, did a lot of gossiping... it was nice to have her round. We always share all sorts of crap with each other so we spent most of our time just laughing at each other."

"That sounds like fun." Leonard smiled kindly.

"Yeah, it was. And what did you get up to?" Penny asked, hoping against hope that his response wasn't 'I was out with Priya'.

"Oh, I had an awesome night!" Leonard grinned his goofy grin at her. "We played Mystic Warlords of Ka'a, and then Star Wars Top Trumps."

"Ooh, very nerdy." Penny nodded.

"Yeah, and tonight we're going to play D&D, I get to be dungeon master."

"Ah, yes, the ever-nerdy Dungeon Master Leonard." Penny said seriously, with a hint of a smile.

"Correct." Leonard grinned again. "And what is the not-so-nerdy Miss Penny doing tonight?"

"_I _am going to order a large pizza and diet coke, and watch Friends until I fall asleep on the couch, because my life is _very _exciting these days." Penny put down her bottle of water. "Maybe I'll have a glass of wine if I'm feeling particularly wild."

"Sounds... exciting?"

"Well, Kim reminded me there's nothing wrong with having a bit of me-time, so, actually, it is kind of exciting. I'm going to put my pajamas on, take my make-up off, tie my hair up and just enjoy being lazy for a night!"

"Oh, well, then, I'm excited for you," Leonard smiled. _This is easier than I thought it would be, _he thought to himself, and he could tell by the ease Penny was using when she spoke that she was finding this easier than expected too.

"I was going to invite Amy and Bernadette round, but..." Penny paused. "It's not a _bad _thing to want to be your own for a night instead of with your friends, is it?"

"No, of course it isn't!" Leonard said quickly, putting a hand on her arm, missing the small shudder that went through Penny's body in his haste to reassure her. "Everybody needs some time to themselves, it's _good _to be alone sometimes and have some space."

"Good," Penny smiled. Slightly embarrassed at the small tingle she felt when Leonard touched her, she cleared her throat. "How's work going?"

"Really well, actually." Leonard perked up again, his face excited and full of the passion that Penny adored. "I set up this _really _cool laser experiment, which will test-"

He stopped as the door opened, revealing Sheldon, Raj, Howard and Priya.

"Ooh, neither of you sat in my spot this time!" Sheldon observed happily. "_Finally, _people are starting to abide by the rules."

Raj held a hand up to say 'hello', having not had any alcohol, and went to sit in the armchair. Priya stayed standing just inside the doorway, looking at Leonard with a look of disbelief, before turning to Penny.

"Hello, Penny." Priya said, looking back at Leonard for an explanation. "Leonard, sweetie."

Sheldon sat down in his spot, turning the television on, ignorant to the tension that had formed in the room. Raj looked awkwardly at his shoes, suddenly very interested in the knot of his shoelaces. Penny almost gagged at Priya's use of sweetie, deciding to keep her seat for just a little bit longer since Priya had slightly less power when there were others around her.

"Uh, hey, Priya." Leonard gave a weak smile. How did Priya make him feel guilty, when in actual fact he _didn't _feel guilty for talking to Penny or having her over at the apartment?

"I see Penny's here."

_Oh, well done, you want a medal for that observation? _Penny almost rolled her eyes.

"Yeah." Leonard nodded. He stopped himself from trying to come up with some kind of explanation for Penny's presence; why should he have to? They were talking.

"That's... nice." Priya placed her purse on Leonard's desk, and hung her jacket over the chair, still not closing the door. Penny could see what she was doing, placing her possessions over Leonard's furniture, and she had to force herself not to laugh at the pointlessness of that. She could just as easily take her top off and place it on Leonard's pillow to make the same statement. _Well that would show Priya. _

"Priya, if you wouldn't mind closing the door, there's a draft." Sheldon said bluntly, raising his eyebrows and pointing to the open apartment door expectantly.

In that moment, Penny wanted to reach over and high-five Sheldon. Instead, she simply stood up, and for no reason other than to annoy Priya, ruffled Leonard's hair, before walking over to the door.

"No need, Sheldon, I'll shut it behind me. I know you don't like a draft with the window and door being open at the same time, sweetie." Penny gave Sheldon a sweet smile, before giving it to Leonard too. "It was nice talking to you, _sweetie._ Don't forget your laundry downstairs. Raj, your shoes are nice."

Not giving a word to Priya, Penny turned on her heel and stepped out, closing the door loudly behind her. Letting out a deep breath, she headed back into her own, fighting back the urge to go downstairs and sneak a pair of her panties into Leonard's laundry. It would be funny, and he probably _would _find it funny, but she didn't want him getting into trouble. Closing and locking her apartment door, she decided she might as well start her me-time early by taking a long bubble bath. After all, Kim had left her that new issue of Cosmo she had been talking about.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N - I have been waiting to do this chapter for ages. It's the catalyst for the next kinda 'section' of the story, I guess. And writing it was kind of a risk, simply because I was so looking forward to this happening and I wanted it to stay IC but move things along at the same time. Some of you have been waiting for something like this, I hope you like it. Let me know how it goes. Three updates in one week, I'm impressed with myself! Hope you enjoy, I look forward to seeing what you all think of this chapter! :) **

* * *

Penny grinned as she saw Leonard leave his car; maybe there _was _a perk to having to park her car slightly further from the apartment complex because some ass had taken her favorite spot. She let him take a few steps towards the doors, before sneaking up right behind him and covering his eyes with her hands, remembering to slide them quickly under the glasses instead of pressing over them. "Guess who?"

"Princess Leia." Leonard said stupidly, the first thing that came to his mind.

Penny scoffed as she removed her hands. "You wish."

"Close enough." Leonard grinned as he looked at her.

"Leia wears a Cheesecake Factory uniform?" Penny raised a brow at him over her shoulder as she opened the door, trying her best not to take that as a compliment - she was pretty sure Princess Leia was one of his favorites. "I've got to watch that one!"

"Yeah, Sheldon never made you watch that one?" Leonard chuckled as they began their walk up the stairs. "How was work?"

"Oh, same old, same old." Penny shrugged without enthusiasm. "How was your day?"

"Mmh, pretty boring. I did a talk with some students and then did some paperwork for a new experiment. One of the less interesting days in the life of an experimental physicist." Leonard hesitated for a moment, before deciding he might as well tell Penny everything, since they were trying for 'normal' and 'friendship'. "I was going to have dinner with Priya but then her parents called so... all in all, a pretty dull day."

"Oh, that's too bad." Penny said, though inside she was practically jumping for joy that he wouldn't be spending his evening with Priya. This gave her a perfect opportunity to spend time with him, and she decided she wasn't going to hold back from jumping at the chance to do so. "You wanna spend your evening with a terrible waitress instead?"

"Sure," Leonard grinned. He hadn't been looking for an invitation, but it was certainly pleasant to receive one. Reaching the fourth floor landing, he followed her into her apartment, smiling to himself at how natural it felt to just walk into her home, close the door behind him, and flop onto her couch.

"You just make yourself at home there." Penny joked, raising a brow. "I'm guessing you were going to have something fancier for dinner, but I was going to order Indian takeout."

"No." Leonard shook his head. "Lets have Chinese."

_No to Indian... _Penny noted, unsure if he just didn't want Indian food or if that was supposed to mean something more. "Oh, okay, sure. I found a place that delivers if we don't want to go collect it?"

"Sounds good to me," Leonard nodded. "We don't get to try new places with Sheldon so... a change would be nice."

"The menu should be up on the internet on my laptop," Penny gestured to her laptop sitting on the coffee table. "I'm just going to get changed."

Leonard refrained from watching Penny walk to her bedroom, though he did allow himself to smirk slightly when she left the bedroom door open. He picked up her laptop, setting it on his lap, before opening the screen up. Still remembering her password, he tapped it in before finding the tab with the menu up already. He browsed through it as he heard her move about in her room, and he thought she might be tidying up a little since he was certain it didn't take that long to put a different pair of clothes on. As he began to scroll through the menu a second time (though it wasn't much different to the one they usually ordered from) she re-emerged, dressed now in jeans and a pink vest top - a little more overdressed than he had expected of her.

"Pick something?" Penny asked, as she sat down next to him. He didn't even get to answer before she said "that sharing platter - the second one - looks good. It has both our favorites."

He smiled at her quickly, warmed that she remembered his favorite Chinese dish. "Looks like a good choice to me."

Penny watched as he placed the order to arrive at her apartment. Leonard was the only person she let near her laptop, although she began hoping that he wouldn't, for whatever reason, click on her browser history. Her hopeful but unsuccessful attempts to buy a new chew toy were listed all too clearly there, and she hadn't thought of deleting it - she'd been using the same websites trying to work up the courage to do it. There was no reason he would, she told herself, though just in case he did, she decided she'd blame it on Kim if he saw it.

"Okay, all done! It says it'll be here in about fifteen minutes." Leonard, to Penny's relief, closed the laptop and set it back on the coffee table.

"Good, I'm _starving_! You want a glass of wine? Just one!" Penny added the last part quickly, putting one finger up as if to confirm her own statement.

"Yeah, sure," Leonard shrugged. At least if she did end up having a bit more, he was there to make sure she was okay. While he had been the one to express his concern about her drinking, he wasn't sure if he would be comfortable actively making her _not _drink while he was in her presence. He watched as she got up and poured two decent servings of white wine - her usual, he remembered with a smile, it was the same one he would buy now out of habit - and passed a glass over to him as she sat down. He held his glass up to her. "Cheers!"

"Cheers." Penny grinned at him, and they both took a sip. Putting her glass on the coffee table, she bit her lip and looked back over at Leonard. "Can I... ask you something that might be a bit... you know, weird, considering... us?"

"Umm," Leonard raised a brow slightly as he put his glass down, wondering where she was headed with this. "Sure."

"Okay." Penny sighed. "At the hospital, when... when I said Priya and I were talking about how you are, you know, in bed," she paused nervously, glancing down at her hands before back up at him, "did... was that weird for you? Did you mind that?"

The question came as a surprise to him; if he was honest, he hadn't really given the matter much thought aside from hoping it hadn't been anything _bad_ - for which he blamed Raj. "I hadn't really thought about it." Leonard shrugged. "I kind of thought that's just what girls do, anyway. Why?"

"We don't _always _talk about sex, Leonard." Penny rolled her eyes at him, giving his shoulder a gentle shove as she giggled slightly. "I just wanted to make sure it wasn't weird for you and that you were okay with it."

"Well, as long as you didn't say anything _bad,_" Leonard joked. He wondered why Priya hadn't bothered to ask him if he minded.

Penny smirked, raising a brow at him. "Like I have a bad word to say about you."

"Thanks." Leonard tilted his chin up slightly, grinning proudly at her. _Such a nerd, _Penny thought to herself with a smile. He tilted his head slightly at her. "Can I ask _you _something?"

"Sure."

"Of _all _the conversation topics in the world, why did you choose to talk about sex?"

"Okay..." Penny rubbed her hands on her jeans nervously. She considered just shrugging the question off, but she'd told herself that if she had been talking about him to his girlfriend, then he deserved to have a truthful answer. "It's kind of... stupid. Well, not stupid, just..."

"What do you mean?"

Penny bit her lip and let out a long sigh as she looked at him. "I just don'tknow what to talk about with Priya. And it's not for lack of trying, or not wanting to," she said quickly, her expression worried, "because I do want to be able to talk to her, I do. But... it's not easy, Leonard, we just don't have much to talk about, and it's still kinda awkward, and that seemed like an easy topic we could both contribute to."

"Oh." Leonard frowned. "Okay. I guess I can see that."

Penny smiled at him. "We didn't say anything too descriptive, or _too... _in detail. It was just something we could talk about, that involved you, where it wasn't awkward all the time. I know I just told you off but girls _do _enjoy comparing notes about sex."

"Well, at least you two are getting along." Leonard said. He quickly remembered something he had told Raj. "Did you tell her about the time I did... when I took my clothes off-"

"You mean the strip tease?" Penny smirked. "Don't deny it, that's what it was. I didn't tell her about that."

Leonard blushed slightly. "Good. I told Raj because he was freaking me out, he said he wouldn't tell her so I was just checking you didn't either."

"Some things are for my eyes and imagination only." Penny grinned at him.

"Imagination?" Leonard looked at her, confused. When she only responded by smirking and raising a brow so high it was almost suggestive, it clicked in his mind. "Oh. _Oh._ Okay..."

"Oh God," Penny tossed her head back, groaning. "I just made it weird, didn't I?"

"No, no, it's okay, it's... kinda flattering, actually."

Penny scowled at him. "Shut up."

"Sorry, sorry," Leonard chuckled. He picked up his wine and took another sip, as Penny did the same, both trying to wash over the potentially awkward conversation that could arise from her accidental, yet not denied, confession.

"So..." Penny cleared her throat, putting her glass back down on the table. "Is, umm, is Howard's mom doing better?" _Yup, Mrs. Wolowitz, the best way to avoid... everything._

"Oh, yeah, she's doing fine." Leonard nodded, grateful for the move in conversation, though he had to admit he did feel kind of smug right now. "She's back home now, Bernadette is still kinda mad at Howard though."

"Well, he _did_ kinda make out that his mom had a heart attack because he was going to marry Bernadette. I can see why she's mad." There was a knock at the door, and Penny jumped up to answer it. "Mm, smells like it's the Chinese food," she said before opening the door.

Leonard grinned when he saw she was right; she had this strange ability to sniff out food that amused him. He stood up to join her at the door, taking the bag of takeout from the delivery guy while she accepted the receipt.

Patting her pockets, Penny sighed. "Hold on, let me get my purse out." She picked her purse up off the floor and began scrambling through it.

"No, wait, it's okay," Leonard transferred the takeout bag into one hand, shoving the other into his pocket and pulling out a twenty-dollar bill. "I got it. Keep the change."

The delivery guy thanked him and left. Leonard brought the food over to the coffee table and took it out of its bag, grabbing some cutlery and two plates and setting them out too.

"Here." Penny held out a ten. "There's half."

"No," Leonard waved it away, sitting on the couch. "Don't worry about it."

"Well you have to take half!" Penny protested, sitting down next to him, still holding the bill out to him.

"I'm the one intruding on your dinner, I'm paying for it." Leonard began placing food onto his plate.

"You can be a real stubborn ass sometimes, Hofstadter." Penny glared at him. "I'm the one who invited you to come over, so I should pay for it. At least take half."

"Nope." Leonard sat back and began eating.

She glared at him for a little while longer, before putting the ten-dollar bill down on the coffee table and filling her own plate with food. They had done this before, many times; he would pay before she could, and then refuse to accept a contribution towards it. It was fine when they were dating; she hadn't expected him to pay for things just because they were dating, but it was more a norm in that situation. She enjoyed being treated as much as the next person, but she couldn't let him _always _pay for her food whenever he was around. Though she had learnt that sometimes, it was easier to just let it go. "Mmh, this is really tasty!"

"I know," Leonard nodded. "I wasn't sure about that sauce but it tastes amazing."

That was another thing they had done many times; switching from a small argument over nothing, to talking as if nothing had happened. Penny was glad that they could do this even now, thinking that perhaps being 'just friends' was easier than she had been expecting it to be all along.

The rest of the meal went by with easy conversation abut food, their friends and work. Both Leonard and Penny made a conscious effort to stray away from any awkward or suggestive comments, such as those which had happened earlier. Penny told him about the piece she was going to be working on in her acting class, telling him how she was looking forward to trying to take on a character with a tougher emotional core. Once she was done eating, she excitedly took her script out from the bottom of a stack of magazines to show him.

"See what I mean?" Penny pointed to a highlighted line. "It's got a lot more to it, but my teacher told us to try something out of our comfort zone."

"Wow," Leonard nodded as he skimmed the lines Penny had highlighted.

"I know. It's kinda scary, but, I'm excited to try it." Penny bit her lip. "The only thing is, is that I'm paired with this guy Mark, and he's asked me out a few times... so now it's just a little bit awkward."

"A few times?" Leonard's mind battled with two emotions: complete, sudden hatred for this guy, and total joy that Penny had turned him down those 'few times'.

"Yeah, I keep telling him I'm not interested." _Or that I have no desire to date anybody these days, _Penny thought. "He's not going overboard with it, but he's pretty persistent with asking if I want to go for a coffee, or grab some dinner after class, that kinda stuff. I mean, come on! No means no."

Leonard hid a smirk as he reminded himself that persistence had worked out for _him_. Yes, they had broken up, but here they were now. Not that he was going to point that out to her, he didn't want to give her any ideas. "What a jerk."

"I know!" Penny exclaimed, shaking her head as she put the script back on the coffee table.

He was glad, though, that they finally seemed to be getting to a point where they could talk about relationships - or, in Penny's case, guys - though he was sure that things wouldn't be quite as easy if he voiced the things he thought about the guys Penny told him about. He wondered for a moment if Penny had similar thoughts about Priya. She certainly hadn't been happy about Dr. Plimpton... but that was a one-night thing, this was a relationship. He didn't expect Penny to be entirely happy about Priya. After all, he had made fun of Zack, and his unvoiced thoughts of him were much worse. He really hated that guy. But she seemed to be getting on better with Priya now, so maybe there was just some sort of phase Penny had gone through that he simply hadn't gone through yet.

"What're you thinking about?" Penny frowned as she looked at him. He looked fairly deep in thought, and wondered for a moment if perhaps she had upset him by mentioning another guy. Maybe they weren't there just yet.

"Nothing." Leonard shook his head, smiling at her. "Just that I'm glad you and Priya are getting along."

_I wish we were... _Penny held in a sigh, smiling at him instead. "We're doing out best." She wasn't sure if she was referring to herself and Priya, or herself and Leonard.

"Yeah," Leonard agreed.

For a while, they both simply sat there looking at each other, smiling, not really thinking. Penny wondered if Leonard could see her suddenly racing heart beating through her chest, before reminded herself that Leonard's eyes were on _her _eyes, and not her chest. Her cheeks grew hot at just the idea of this, and she begged herself to distract herself from that thought, but all she could think about was him. He looked slightly confused now, but that was just as cute as his smile was. She could feel herself biting down on her lip, but in her mind _he _was the one biting on her lip.

"We should, uh," Leonard cleared his throat, tearing his face away from the undeniably sexy smolder Penny was giving him. "You wanna watch a film or, or... or something?"

"Mm." Penny blinked, cruelly shaken back to reality. "Yeah, sure. Pick something. I'm going to the bathroom."

Jumping from the couch before she could look at his face again, she moved quickly to the bathroom and pulled out her phone, immediately clicking on her text conversation with Kim, tapping out two words desperately:

_**Oh God. **_

In the front room, still utterly confused, Leonard got off the couch and walked over to the stack of DVD's by Penny's television. He had no idea what had just happened; one minute they had just been smiling at each other and the next she was giving him this... look. A look he didn't know how to act upon. It was wildly attractive, but it had made him incredibly nervous and confused at the same time. He had never seen that look before, those closest thing he could remember was... _no, stop it, _he scolded his mind. _Just pick a film and stop overthinking everything! _

Looking deliberately and slowly at each film option, he settled on choosing something from the Jennifer Aniston box set - he knew Penny loved watching those films. Just like he had watched all his films more than once, he knew Penny had seen all of these countless times too. In the end, he decided on _Picture Perfect _- based on the synopsis, he hadn't seen that one yet. Taking the disc from the case, he put it in the DVD player, and sat back down on the sofa. What was taking her so long? He got up again to throw out the takeout containers and put the dishes into the sink. Once more, he sat down, and turned on the television, switching it over to DVD mode and muting it so the adverts could run until she got back. He was about to get back up to wash the dishes, when she came back in.

Sitting down next to him, although slightly further away than she had been earlier, Penny grinned when she saw the open and empty DVD case. "Ooh, _Picture Perfect, _good choice! I love this one."

"I haven't seen it," Leonard commented. "Is it the same as all the other ones but just with different characters?"

"No!" Penny rolled her eyes, tucking her legs to the side. "This one is really cute."

"You say that about _all _of them," he pointed out.

"Well, duh, that's because they are."

Leonard looked at her skeptically. "Fine." Unmuting the television, he pressed play and let the film commence.

It wasn't too bad, he thought to himself, as they neared the end of the films running time. Admittedly, it was cute. Incredibly cheesy and cringey, and not his kind of film at all, but it was still cute. Though his judgment of 'cute' could have been influenced from the fact that halfway through the film, Penny had rested her head onto his shoulder and wrapped an arm across his stomach. At first, his hand had simply hung limply behind her back, unsure if she had done this on purpose or was just cruelly manipulating his mind to like the film more. It was working. Eventually, he moved his hand to rest on her waist, and she snuggled into him further, giving him a short, contented hum of approval.

When the film had finally ended, with the same ending he had expected before the film had even begun, he found that she was still cuddled into him, and he smiled. He picked up the remote next to him and shut off the television.

"That was cute," he said defiantly.

Getting no response, he moved his head to look at her, his heart melting when he saw she had fallen asleep. He wanted to just sit there, like this, comfortable and content, but he knew he should probably leave since it was late. Besides, if he stayed he would probably fall asleep too, and that seemed a step too far.

As he had done before, he slipped his free arm beneath her knees and picked her up. Her hands automatically moved up to link around his neck, and he carried her through to her bedroom. He laid her down on her bed and fetched a bottle of water from the kitchen, before switching on the bedside light and shutting off the main one. Spotting her pajamas strewn by the bathroom door, he folded them and placed them neatly at the foot of the bed for her.

"Goodnight, Penny," he whispered, smiling to himself as he thought about how often he still did this routine with her.

Leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before he left, he was slightly surprised when her lips suddenly found his and her arms linked around his neck.

Pulling herself up slightly, she worked her lips hungrily against his, not caring, simply relishing the taste of his lips on hers. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip in a bid to make him respond, and to her astonishment, it worked.

Leonard found his lips responding, clueless as to what was happening, but beyond the point where he could bring himself to stop. His hands fell to her waist as she let her tongue enter his mouth, and he simply went with it and reciprocated. Not even _amazing _was enough to describe the feeling.

Unable to hold it in any longer, Penny let out a long, loud moan as her nails dug into the skin of his neck. At the feel of his tongue dancing with hers, she gave him more. More fire, more moans, more passion. She was breathless but she didn't care. His lips were more important, the way he was responding to the kiss was intoxicating, and she tugged his body down so it was pressed against hers. Giving him a longer, louder moan, she was rewarded when she felt him against her.

Just as suddenly as it hard started, it stopped. Her arms fell from his neck and her head fell back into the pillow, eyes still closed, lips parted.

Raising his body, Leonard simply blinked, watching her, waiting for her to suddenly open her eyes, or burst out laughing, or pull him back down on the bed. But she didn't. How was she still such a good kisser in her sleep? Was it even possible to kiss like that when you were asleep? Was she even asleep? _Who cares?! _Leonard cleared his throat and found himself walking quickly back to his own apartment, realizing that sleep would have to wait but he certainly couldn't stay here in Penny's bedroom.

Upon hearing her bedroom door, then apartment door shut, Penny sat up grinning wildly, finally letting herself let out the heavy breaths she had been holding in. Running a shaky hand through her hair, she tried to work out what had made her do such a thing. Biting her lip, she remembered feeling movement, and figuring out she'd fallen asleep and Leonard was carrying her to her bedroom. She'd almost drifted off straight away again, until she had felt his face close to hers, and that's what had done it for her.

His breath on her face, his lips so close to her own, she'd lost all self control. She wasn't going to go any further than the kiss; the devious plan to simply stop when she could tell he was enjoying the kiss just as much as she was had formed the moment his lips had responded to her tongue. Dangerous and unfair? Yes, she nodded to herself, but most definitely worth it. He hadn't stopped her, and he hadn't tried to wake her. But she was too worked up to figure out what that meant right now.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

Whatever euphoria she had been feeling last night, was completely replaced in that moment by complete awkwardness. It was like the feeling of morning-after shame she knew all too well, but a thousand times worse because it was Leonard. This was something she hadn't counted on feeling, she had thought she would _like _that feeling of knowing they had been kissing only last night. But instead, she felt horrible.

"I... I'm sorry." Penny managed to get out, too scared to cross the small hallway to close the space between them.

"What happened last night?" Leonard asked softly, not accusingly, but with a strong need for answers written on his face.

Penny wrung her hands together, unable to keep her eyes off of him. "I don't know."

"You don't know? That's it?"

She could see the disappointment in his eyes, and cautiously took a small step forwards. "Leonard, I... it just happened. We had an amazing night and when I woke up you were already carrying me back to my bed. I shouldn't have done it, and it was a mistake, and it was wrong, but you liked it too, Leonard."

_You liked it too. _Leonard nodded slowly. He couldn't deny enjoying what had happened if she wasn't denying it either. "Maybe we're just not ready to be friends like that." He said, his heart sinking, shying away from the confidence he had felt up until this morning.

"No." Penny shook her head firmly now, taking a deep breath as she finally crossed over to him. "You told me you don't want things to be awkward between us, and we both knew it wasn't going to be easy. We've done so many stupid things, but I'm not letting what happened last night get in the way of moving past all that awkward crap, even if we have to slow things down. Because believe it or not, Leonard Hofstadter, I _want _to be your friend."

Again, his mind instantly fixated on one phrase. _I want to be your friend. _Nobody had ever said it like that with such sureness in their voice. In fact, he didn't think anybody had ever actually him that they _want _to be his friend. Coming from Penny, it was the most beautiful thing. Then it clicked in his mind: she was fighting for him, for their friendship, for what they had. Usually she shied away and just left things quietly. In the short amount of time they had stood in the hallway, she had given him an explanation for her actions, backed herself up with the fact that he had enjoyed last night too, and then refused the easy way out.

"You're right." Leonard smiled.

"Good, because that was scary." Penny admitted, with a laugh that let out all the tension she'd built up in her body. _Kim... I need to speak to Kim, _she thought quickly, as panic began to settle in place of the adrenaline she'd felt earlier. "I have to get to work."


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N - Happy Hello Kitty Monday! A tiny bit over 5,000 words today. I'm waiting for the postman to deliver my Season 6 box set... so you're getting this update now rather than later. Thanks for your amazing feedback on the last chapter! Hope you enjoy this one too :)**

* * *

"Kim!" Penny shot up from the bench she was sitting on in the staff room, grabbing Kim by the arm before she even got to acknowledge Penny was in the room, and dragged her into the bathroom, locking the door.

"This would make so much more sense if you were a guy." Kim raised her eyebrows at Penny, waiting for an explanation.

"Shut up." Penny glared at Kim. "Just sit down."

"There are benches in the staff room-"

"I know, but I'm freaking out, and Bernie's working too and..." Penny trailed off. "Just sit down."

Frowning, Kim pushed down the toilet seat and sat down on it, putting her purse on her lap. "Okay. Are you going to tell me why you're freaking out now? Oh, does this having something to do with," she paused and her eyes widened in anticipation, "why you texted my 'oh God' last night?"

"Yes." Penny said quickly, with a pained expression on her face, as she paced the few steps across the small bathroom repeatedly. "Kind of."

"Well, tell me what happened!" Kim urged excitedly.

"I invited Leonard round for dinner." Penny blurted, panic coursing through her body, ignoring Kim's eager expression. "And, it was fine, until he smiled and I practically undressed him with my eyes, and tried to have what Amy would call eye-coitus with him. Well, _I _had eye-coitus with him."

"Ooh!" Kim grinned widely, shaking her leg up and down impatiently.

"No! Not _ooh_!" Penny shook her head viciously. "_God _knows what I was doing with my face, he looked so confused, and he said we should watch a film so I ran off to the bathroom and that's when I text you... I had to change my panties!"

Much to Penny's annoyance, Kim burst into laughter at that point. "Oh my _God_! I so didn't need to know that but I'm so glad you just said told me!"

"Shut up, Kim!" Penny moaned, hitting her on the shoulder, face red.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Kim pursed her lips to hold back her laughter, which was proving difficult by her mind repeating the moment.

"Sometimes I hate you more than I hate working here," Penny shot at Kim, before resuming her pacing. "It was okay after that... oh, see, now I don't want to tell you."

"What are you, fifteen? Just tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

"Ugh, okay." Penny wrung her hands together. "We were watching a film, he picked a Jennifer Aniston one for me, and I ended up cuddling him, I just thought it was a good idea, and I must have fallen asleep on him, I was so comfortable an he had his arm around me and... anyway. I woke up a little when he was carrying me back to bed and he said 'goodnight, Penny' and I think he was going to kiss my cheek but I-I kissed him and-"

"You _kissed _him?" Kim exclaimed, eyes wide, jaw dropped.

"I know!" Penny threw her head back, raking her hands into her hair with frustration. "And the worst part was is it was just... amazing-"

"Did you do anything else?"

"No!"

"Then why is that the worst part?"

"Because! It was _so-o _awkward the next morning, and he said maybe we shouldn't be friends and then I just couldn't shut up and said no-" Penny stopped suddenly. "Wait, what? What do you mean why is it the worst part if the kiss was amazing?"

"I dunno, if it had gone further you probably wouldn't have lasted very long." Kim shrugged with a smirk.

"I am _this _close to taking my shoe off and throwing it at you." Penny held her pointer finger and thumb close together so they almost touched.

"Black belt." Kim reminded her simply.

"Can you just not mention that for once? You're like the one person who isn't threatened by my use of 'I'll go Nebraska on your ass' and that pisses me off."

"Alright, Nebraska, calm down." Kim rolled her eyes. "Just continue with your story."

"That was it," Penny stopped pacing, looking at Kim as though it had been obvious. "I said that we should still be friends and that what happened last night was a mistake and then I came here."

"_Was _it a mistake?"

"Yes. No... maybe. I'm not sure. I mean, I wanted it to happen, I wanted to kiss him, but I know I _shouldn't _have kissed him - does that make sense?"

"Well... why did you want to kiss him?" Kim urged.

"Are you kidding?" Penny scoffed, unwilling to let herself really answer that question, let alone give Kim an answer. "Why _wouldn't _I want to kiss him? Remember when Tyler came here and at first you were all moany like 'oh, what the hell is he doing here, I hate him' and then I came in here and you two were making out on the bench in the corner?"

"Ah... good times." Kim nodded. "That was different though."

"Okay, how is it different?"

"Because there were no feelings there. We just had casual break-up sex and that was it."

Penny jutted her jaw out. "I never said we had sex, now did I? And who said there were feelings involved? That is the most-"

Kim cut in before she could finish her sentence. "Listen, Penny, I know you hate the idea of _feelings _and are just real crap when it comes to stuff like that - don't look at me like that, you are - but denying it is not going to help you. You don't have to tell me about them if you don't want to, but I seriously don't understand why you're acting as though they aren't there when they clearly are."

"I-" Penny stuttered for a moment, unsure of what to say now.

"Exactly." Kim stood and unlocked the bathroom door. "As much as I _love _sitting on toilets, and want to laugh at your pantie story, we've got work to do."

Penny followed Kim out, slightly dazed, and watched her put her jacket and purse into her locker. "Please don't tell Bernadette what I told you. I only told you because I panicked."

Despite the niggling feeling that Bernadette was probably onto Penny more than she knew, Kim nodded, before frowning. "I really wanted to tell her the pantie story though."

"Don't! It's not funny!" Penny scowled at Kim, who was grinning. "It's not funny!"

"Calm down, I won't tell anyone, don't wet your panties over it."

* * *

Penny knocked on the door, walking into 4A before she had received an answer. She headed straight to the kitchen, switching on the hot water tap in the kitchen and sticking her hand beneath it.

"Come in." Sheldon glared at Penny. "What are you doing?"

"Checking to see if you have hot water." Penny shrugged, turning her head over her shoulder. She grinned at Amy. "Hi Ames."

"Hello bestie." Amy nodded with a smile.

"Was it too difficult to simply _ask _if we have hot water?" Sheldon asked impatiently, eyebrows raised in annoyance.

"Well, do you?"

"We did this morning." Sheldon stated.

"That doesn't help me, I'm seeing if you have any- oh, you do." Shutting off the tap, Penny dried her hand on a towel. "Listen, can I use your shower? I already had to do my dishes in cold water but I'd prefer a warm shower."

"Too bad, no hot water is your own problem." Sheldon shook his head at her.

"Oh, come on, please," Penny begged. "I'll clean the bathroom up when I'm done!"

Sheldon snorted. "Unlikely."

"Amy!" Penny turned to her bestie for help.

"Sheldon, you have a guest who is in need of a basic necessity - a shower. It falls upon you as the neighbor to allow her this."

Sighing, Sheldon shrugged. "Alright. But if you use my shower gel, that's an immediate strike."

"Like I'd _ever _use your shower gel." Penny shuddered. "Okay, I'll just grab my stuff."

Amy watched as Penny ran across to her apartment. "An afternoon with a boy and my bestie in the shower just feet away? Does it get any better than this?"

"Oh, believe me, it does." Sheldon grinned excitedly, pulling a box from beneath the table. "Counterfactuals! You're welcome."

"Oh my!" Amy breathed, taking the box from Sheldon in awe. "Yay!"

Penny raised a brow as she walked back into 4A, closing the door behind her, wash bag in hand. "You two kids better get a room," she joked, walking across to the hallway and into the bathroom.

"But we already _are _in a room." Sheldon said to Amy, confused.

* * *

Throwing his bag down onto his chair whilst shutting the door behind him, Leonard headed straight down the hallway to the bathroom. Never again was he going to bet Raj he could drink four diet cokes in one lunch meal - though the twenty dollars was worth it.

As he quickly opened and closed the bathroom door, there were two screams: Penny's and Leonard's.

"_Jesus _Leonard, what the hell!" Penny yelled, flustered, grabbing her towel and holding it over her body.

"Why are you in my bathroom?" Leonard asked, equally loudly, eyes squeezed shut.

"Sheldon said I could use it, I have no hot water!" Penny exclaimed, face flushed.

"Well I _really _need to pee," Leonard said.

"And I need to finish up in the bathroom." Penny groaned. "Why didn't Sheldon tell you I was in here? And you can open your eyes, you can't see anything."

Cautiously, Leonard opened his eyes, before looking down at his feet. "I can see your butt in the mirror."

"Ugh." Penny rolled her eyes as she tried to maneuver her hastily arranged towel around her body. "It's not like you haven't seen this all before. Besides, you said it before, it's a perfect butt."

"Yeah, I know, just," Leonard cleared his throat.

They stood awkwardly for a moment, before Penny spoke. "Okay, fine. Turn around, I'll wrap the towel properly and go back to my apartment. It's just my face, I can use cold water."

"Once you spat toothpaste at me because I asked why you made such a big deal about using the hot water to wash your face."

Penny giggled. "Oh yeah. Either way, you need to turn around because it's not comfortable holding the towel like this, and it's slipping, so..." she bobbed her head to the side twice.

For a second he considered just not turning and seeing if the towel _did _slip, but he turned around anyway. He could still be the good guy, even if it was only sometimes. Leonard smirked to himself as he heard her readjusting the towel, before giving his head a quick shake to clear those thoughts that were entering his mind.

"Okay, done." Penny said, and he turned back around. "I'll just wait in the hall."

Before he could remember that he needed to pee, Penny walked past him and out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

"What on earth is going on in that bathroom?" Sheldon's head peeked out of his bedroom door.

"Oh my God!" Penny instinctively grasped the top of her towel.

"I heard yelling."

"Is Amy in there with you?"

"Why would Amy be in my _room_?" Sheldon asked. "Nobody goes in my room."

"Oh. Did she leave?"

"Yes. It was a very intense game of Counterfactuals. She said something about buying new batteries." Sheldon shrugged. "Circulating back to my original query. Why are you yelling? You disturbed my Old Comic Book reading time."

Penny rolled her eyes. "So-_rry. _" The toilet flushed, and she sighed as Sheldon looked at her in confusion. "Leonard walked into the bathroom while I was still in there."

Sheldon peered at Penny. "Did he not hear the shower running or the awful singing or the strange noises coming from the bathroom?"

"Oh my God, _what _strange noises?" Penny felt herself blush. "I wasn't in the shower when he came into the bathroom, so he couldn't hear that I was in there. You should have told him I was in there!"

"It is not my problem that Leonard is unable to pass urine on a regulated schedule." Sheldon stated. "Now, _please_, no more noise. And please put some clothes on, I am uncomfortable with you gallivanting around my apartment in a towel."

Penny scowled at him as he closed his door again, before her attention was diverted to Leonard as he left the bathroom.

"You can go back now."

"Thanks." Penny nodded, suddenly feeling very conscious that she was standing in front of Leonard in only a towel. She walked past him with an awkward smile on her face, wishing desperately that the towel were bigger.

"Hey... that's my towel." Leonard said suddenly, as Penny stepped into the bathroom.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot mine so I used yours, hope that's okay." Penny threw the words over her shoulder in an attempt to sound casual. "I didn't want to use Sheldon's."

"A-alright," Leonard stuttered slightly. "That's... that's fine."

Closing the door carefully behind her, Penny let out a deep breath. In all the shock of Leonard walking into the bathroom, she had completely forgotten that she'd had to use his towel. She _had _remembered all her wash stuff, only her towel had been left on the bathroom floor from the night before. Maybe she'd have to actually hang her towel up in the future so she remembered it.

Though honestly, she much preferred using Leonard's towel. It was... comfortable, if a towel could be that. She had wrapped and unwrapped herself from his towels before, and those memories brought a smile to her face, if not a smirk, depending on the memory itself. And that scent that surrounded her from his towel was inviting too; a mix of his shower gel and shampoo. His hair always did look and smell great when he was out of the shower.

But this wasn't the time to be thinking about that, she told herself firmly as she headed over to the sink. Ever since Kim had mentioned the 'f' word she hated so much, _feelings, _she had been trying to avoid those kinds of thoughts. Using Leonard's shower gel instead of her own? She liked to mix things up. Inhaling the scent of his towel after realizing she'd forgotten her own? She just liked the smell of the products he used. The 'strange noises' Sheldon had mentioned? Well, she hadn't realised she was even making those, and besides, she couldn't help but remember all the shower sex she'd had with Leonard.

Feeling herself blush a hot red, she splashed the cold water over her face before switching on the hot tap too. Reciting lines from her script as she cleansed her face to keep herself distracted, she finished off with toner and moisturizer, before turning to the pile of clothes she'd left on the floor. Biting her lip, she picked them up. She had intended to change and put different clothes on... but now Leonard was in the apartment, and she had his towel, she wasn't too sure about going out there without her clothes.

With a sigh, she dropped the towel and began pulling her clothes back on, deciding it would be best to avoid further awkward situations. Though things had definitely been easier when she didn't have to bother with clothes, or even a towel if Sheldon wasn't home.

Leonard drummed his fingers on his lap, staring at the coffee table as he waited for Penny to finish in the bathroom. He had decided to sit in his armchair, so he wasn't facing the bathroom door, because that way it was easier to stop his mind from thinking it had the ability to see through doors and into the bathroom where a maybe-towel clad, or maybe not-towel clad Penny was. He had been counting in multiples of sixty-nine to distract himself, and so far it was working, aside from the drumming his fingers.

Briefly, his mind hand wandered over what Priya would think if she found out Penny had used his shower. But he had told himself it was fine. Sheldon was the one who had let Penny in and use the shower, and then hadn't informed him that she was there. Priya couldn't possibly blame him for that. And it's not as though she was going to find out that he'd seen Penny _naked _in the bathroom, or that she had been wrapped in his towel...

Finally, he heard the bathroom door open and Penny walked out, fully clothed - thought he wasn't entirely sure whether or not he was thankful for that. She gave him a sheepish grin, stopping by the couch. He nodded his head at her and sat forward slightly as an invitation for her to sit - well, he assumed that her hovering by the couch meant she was asking if she could join him.

"I put your towel back on its hook," Penny said as she sat down, putting her wash bag on the floor.

"Oh, thanks." Leonard replied. "Good shower?" He added the question on the end in the hopes it would tide over the possible awkwardness that stemmed from them not having spoken since Penny telling him she'd made a mistake in kissing him and that she still wanted them to be friends.

Briefly, the two of them grinned at each other as they remembered when Penny had asked him 'good shower?' - and Penny let out a giggle before either of them could think about what had happened later that day.

"It was fun." Penny nodded, before blinking furiously. "Oh God, I mean... yes. Yes, it was good. I really didn't want to use freezing cold water."

Leonard smirked for a moment, before furrowing his brows worriedly. "Penny, have you paid your water and heating bill?"

Letting out a sigh, Penny looked down at her hands before shrugging lightly. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

A long pause ensued, in which Penny picked at her nails. "The heating bill... I paid that on my credit card."

Leaning forwards, Leonard placed a hand on her knee. "What about the water bill? And the electric?"

"I... I paid the electric too," she said, still refusing to meet his eyes, ignoring the way his hand felt on her knee. Had he forgotten how much she loved it when he did that? As if reading her mind, his hand moved from her knee to her wrist, and she let out a sigh. "I haven't paid my water bill... yet."

"Yet?" Leonard frowned. "Do you want me to pay it for you?"

Penny shook her head. "No, you can't, it's fine." She lifted her head and gave him a small smile, reminding herself she was an actress, she should be able to convince him. "I just haven't gotten on top of all my bills yet and forgot about it, that's all."

"Are you sure?" Leonard asked doubtfully.

"Yeah." Penny smiled again. "I'll do it when I get back, okay?"

"Sure?" Leonard asked again, and she nodded. He sat back, wondering if maybe he was being too protective of her. Should he still feel this need to help her pay bills, or rent, or buy groceries? Probably not. But she was his best friend, he told himself, he was always going to feel this obligation to help her out if she needed it. "Okay." He drummed his fingers on the armrest before grinning. "Hey, you wanna hear something funny?"

"Ooh, always!" Penny grinned, perking up at his smile.

"Okay, this guy at work forwarded me this picture of a big diamond, a big piece of coal, and a little piece of coal." Leonard sat forward again, leaning his arms on his legs, grinning. "And the big diamond has a briefcase. The big coal is saying to the little one, 'your dad's been under a lot of pressure lately'!"

Penny grinned. Not because she got the joke, but at the way he laughed at the nerdy little joke he had told her. It was adorable, the way his eyes lit up and he just grinned the whole time, with a dorky little laugh to follow.

"You get it?"

"Umm..." Penny shook her head, smiling shyly at him. "No, not really."

"Then why are you smiling?"

"No reason. You look cute when you laugh. Just explain the joke to me, it sounds like it's funny when you get it."

"Well... diamonds are really just, effectively, coal that did well under pressure." Leonard explained.

"Oh! I think I knew that!" Penny grinned, her eyes lighting up again now that she got it. "That's cute."

"Cute? Come on, it's at least 'pretty funny', as a joke. I sent it to Sheldon and even _he _thought it was amusing."

"Well, science jokes will always be just 'cute' to me." Penny shrugged.

"_Cute_?" Sheldon's voice called their attention from the hallway. "A joke about pressurized coal is more than cute, Penny. Another thing that is _not_ cute is your wet hair leaving water droplets on my couch that threaten to roll onto my spot."

"I guess that's my queue to leave," Penny rolled her eyes at Leonard, standing up and grabbing her wash bag.

"Excuse me!" Sheldon walked hastily over to join Penny by the door. "Are you just going to leave the apartment without cleaning up the mess you made on the couch with your more-than-damp, un-brushed hair?"

"Well I wouldn't want to wipe the water droplets the wrong way now, would I?" Penny gave Sheldon a sarcastic smile before leaving 4A, shaking her head. Leonard always liked when the water from her hair rolled down her back.

* * *

"So, the big coal goes 'your dad's been under a lot of pressure lately'!" Penny grins at the girls, who begin laughing at her joke.

"Oh, that's a great joke!" Bernadette giggled, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table.

"The scent of a goddess and the jokes of a seasoned scientist," Amy grinned. "You truly are the whole package, aren't you bestie."

"Well, I try," Penny shrugged, taking a sip from her own wine glass.

"Where did you hear it?" Bernadette asked.

"Oh, Leonard told me." Penny said without thinking.

"Leonard?" Amy raised a brow inquisitively.

"Well she wasn't going to read that joke in Cosmopolitan." Bernadette muttered.

"Yeah," Penny nodded slowly, putting her wine glass back down. "Leonard told me the joke. Someone at work sent it to him."

"When did Leonard tell you the joke? I didn't know you were spending time with him." Bernadette said quickly, almost accusingly, intrigued by the fact that Penny hadn't even mentioned hanging out with Leonard.

"Oh, yeah. I came over to use Sheldon's shower and afterwards I spoke to Leonard, and he told me the joke." _After he walked in on me naked in the bathroom and then realized I was using his towel... _

"She did come over to use the shower, Sheldon and I were about to play Counterfactuals." Amy confirmed to Bernadette. "Leonard wasn't home yet."

Penny got the feeling she was missing something here - it sounded a bit strange that Amy was letting Bernadette know that it was just herself and Sheldon in the apartment, but she shrugged it off.

"Anyway, we can still _talk_ to each other," Penny continued. "We're friends, friends tell each other nerdy jokes." The microwave pinged, and Penny jumped up from the couch. "Popcorns done!"

Bernadette watched as Penny headed over to the microwave. "Hey, panties, bring over some ice-cream too."

Penny stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide, hand on the microwave door handle. "Panties?" Her voice came out high and her heart leapt in fear. "W-what? Why are you calling me panties?" _Oh God, Kim told her... oh dear God... _

"Because I can see the top of your pink panties." Bernadette raised a brow at Penny. "You should wear a belt with those pants."

Amy shook her head. "Red pants with pink panties? What were you thinking bestie? You were the one who told me a pink shirt with a red cardigan was a bad color choice."

"Umm." Penny breathed out a sigh of relief and opened the microwave, occupying herself with the popcorn. "Yeah. I know. It's not like I plan my outfits according to my underwear."

"Weirdo!" Amy muttered to Bernadette.

Penny rolled her eyes at this comment, calm down at the knowledge that Kim really hadn't told Bernadette about what she had told her in the bathroom at work. Maybe she was being too jumpy, but with what Kim knew, everything made her incredibly nervous. It wasn't that she didn't trust Kim to keep a secret - she knew she could, after all, she'd kept all the ones she'd told her over the years - but she simply couldn't help it. Especially since Kim sometimes served Leonard's table... _oh God, she's going to be all smug and grinning next time she sees him. _Penny groaned inwardly at the thought as she grabbed the ice cream from the freezer. _Oh well. Maybe she'll spill root beer on Priya. Leonard doesn't like root beer. _

Sitting back on the couch, Penny handed the ice-cream to Bernadette and shared out three spoons between them, placing the bowl of popcorn on the table in front of them.

"Okay, I have some exciting news," Bernadette grinned as she dug her spoon into the ice cream, now that the conversation had moved on from Leonard.

"Yeah?" Penny took another sip of her wine, still slightly on edge after discussing Leonard and the panties saga.

"Next week I'm submitting my dissertation! If it all goes well, soon I'm going to be _Doctor _Bernadette Maryanne Rostenkowski."

"Oh my _God _Bernadette, that's amazing!" Penny grinned, pulling Bernadette in for a hug.

"At last, I'll have a female friend who is a Doctor." Amy said happily, picking up her wine glass and raising it to Bernadette. "Granted, it's not our gorgeous bestie over here, but lets be realistic."

Bernadette and Penny frowned at Amy for a moment, before Penny shrugged. "I think the word you were looking for is _congratulations_, Ames."

"Yes, of course." Amy nodded. "Congratulations, Bernadette. I'm sure from what I've heard of your work so far, there's no doubt about your dissertation being accepted."

"Thank you," Bernadette smiled. "Penny, if you were to start studying something again, what do you think you'd pick?"

"It would be _so _awesome if all three of us were qualified in subjects originating from biology." Amy said.

"Ugh, no, I was _awful _at science," Penny shook her head. "Hmm... I was pretty good at history and literature at school, but I don't think I'd actually _want _to start studying again."

"You say you were awful at science, but what about your Physics for Dummies book? You seem pretty into that." Amy pointed out.

_Yeah, that's because then I get to talk about it with Leonard, and he gives amazing explanations of things like, oscillation. _Penny shook her head before her mind could wander back to 'the big o' like it did whenever she tried to re-read that chapter in the book. "I just got that book at the store, I mean, it's _interesting _but I'm not any good at it. Though," she let out a small laugh, "I did manage to work out what was wrong with Leonard's equation the other day, and that was _pretty _awesome!"

Bernadette tilted her head. "You figured out an equation?"

"A _physics _equation?" Amy asked for clarification.

"Yeah. Well, not so much figured it out. He just told me about the equation and said he was stuck, and I asked him why one of the... number thingies was different. Turns out that's what the problem was. Something about dimensions..." Penny shrugged. "It wasn't like, _solving _an equation but still, one of my proudest moments."

"That is rather impressive, bestie." Amy nodded approvingly.

Bernadette frowned. "When were you solving equations with Leonard?"

"Oh, you know..." Penny bit her lip. "Coffee."

"You seem to be spending more time with him these days." Amy observed. "Why don't you tell us?"

"What, I have to tell you who I hang out with all the time?" Penny asked, suddenly defensive.

"You misunderstand us, bestie." Amy shook her head. "We were simply surprised that you had been hanging out with Leonard, giving your recent reaction to the possibility of him being engaged to Priya."

"But he's _not _engaged to her, and I told you I was fine with, it just came as a surprise. Why do you guys have to make such a big deal out of _everything_?" Penny scoffed, uncomfortable. "I told you before, Leonard and I are friends."

Amy and Bernadette glanced at each other, before the latter spoke. "Penny, we were just-"

"Well can we move on? I though we were just going to hang out and have a nice girls night." Penny sighed as Amy and Bernadette looked at her with almost hurt frowns. "I'm sorry. I just don't like it when you bother me about it so much when I've told you before that I'm fine with all that."

They each took a sip of wine to pass the moment over, before Amy put on a smile and turned to Bernadette. "So, Strawberries, tell us about your dissertation."


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N - Happy Hello Kitty Monday! And Happy 50th. Wow. Okay, here we go. **

* * *

Biting on her lip nervously and fiddling with the strings of her hoodie, Penny clicked on the green 'call' button and waited patiently for her parents to answer the video call on Skype. Since she had texted them five minutes ago to see if they were available to talk, she was glad when they answered after the first few rings.

"Hey Dad," she smiled at the screen, before smiling sheepishly at her mother. "Hi Mom."

"How you doing, sweetheart?" Wyatt asked.

"Umm, alright." Penny nodded, hands on her knees, feeling like a child all over again.

"You holding up okay?" Meryl looked at her daughter with concern.

Penny was slightly surprised that her mother wasn't talking to her with the angry tone she had been anticipating. "Aren't you mad at me for yelling at you last time we spoke?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you." Meryl shook her head, her voice soft in that inviting tone Penny was always drawn in by. "I know that you were having a difficult time. I was just upset that you didn't want to listen to me."

"I'm sorry." Penny said quietly, before admitting, "I should have listened to you."

"Oh, Penny," Meryl sighed - although she had almost expected this. "What did you do?"

_Damnit, how does she always know? _Penny looked at her hands. "I did what you always tell me not to do, but I always end up doing anyway."

Wyatt frowned. "Have you been drinking again?"

"No... well, yes, I was, but I stopped." Penny confessed.

"Is it becoming a problem, Slugger?"

"No, Daddy, I told you, I stopped." Penny said, almost defensively. "I... I guess it was, for a while, I just... it was easy and it meant I didn't have to think about, well, anything, really. The girls would go with me and they'd make sure I got home alright and didn't do anything too stupid."

"You let your friends take the burden?"

Penny shook her head; she was used to her father being more to the point than her mother was. "Not on purpose. They were probably getting sick and tired of it all but they never said anything to me. Amy and Bernadette are really sweet."

"Well, you're lucky you have friends now who care about you that much. What got you to stop in the end, sweetheart?" Meryl asked carefully, pretty certain she already knew the answer here. If she'd discovered something about Penny the last time they had spoken, it was that there was probably only one person who she would really listen to.

"Leonard." Penny replied quickly, proudly. Maybe they were upset by her drinking and not listening to them, but they liked Leonard, and why shouldn't they? "This one night, I was just leaving to go out and he was coming back to his apartment. I remember he said to me 'be careful, don't drink too much' and... and maybe it's because he told me I look _lovely _that night," Penny blushed here at the memory, "but I listened to him. I had one glass of wine, and I came home."

"He's a good guy," Wyatt said approvingly.

"I know he is, but..." Penny groaned and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "I still managed to screw up that night. I got so, I dunno, emotional, and just _upset _and I... I ended up getting drunk anyway, by myself. Then I called him and he came over to my apartment, and I said some _really _stupid things to him."

"Like what?"

"Uh, I really don't wanna say." Penny bit her lip, shaking her head. "I saw him the next morning and he wasn't even mad at me. But he should have been, I woke him up, and told him ridiculous things... he still took care of me. He made sure I was okay, and I... for a moment I almost told him. But I just... couldn't. I told him I was sorry, and he made sure I was okay."

"What did you almost tell him, sweetheart?" Meryl urged softly.

"Mom, honestly, I don't know what I wanted to tell him." Penny said, looking up at the screen. "It was when he said 'just don't do something like that again' that I realized how bad it had gotten. At that point we weren't really hanging out, or even _talking _to each other, but I could see how much it bothered him. And he didn't say it half-heartedly, or like... a demand. I could see how worried he was and how much he cared and... I haven't seen that look on anyone before."

"Wow." Wyatt was shocked; it had never been this easy to talk to Penny and get through to her, but Leonard had seemed to do it with much more ease than he ever had. And Penny wasn't moaning about _having _to stop, like she usually would. She was actually accepting somebody's concern over her and, it seemed, stopping because she saw how it hurt somebody who cared for her. His daughter had spent years arguing that she was a grown up, but to him, this was the biggest step she'd made so far to actually becoming one. "I'm really proud of you, sweetheart, for listening to him."

"Thank you." Penny bit her lip. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Mom. It just... wasn't easy. Once I started-"

"I understand, Penny," Meryl smiled comfortingly. "I've been there too, but I worry about you a lot. Especially since you live so far, goodness knows the night-life there in LA. Heck, I've got three of you to worry about!"

"Speaking of three," Wyatt cleared his throat. "You still not coming down to visit us?"

"I don't think so." Penny shrugged. "Things are... kind of okay now, I think. Leonard and I are getting on a bit better, and I'm doing well with my acting class... I have Bernadette, Amy, and Kim, and the guys... work could be better but, I'm not sure taking some time away while things are getting better would do me any good."

"Alright. Well, that's good to hear, sweetheart." Meryl grinned - from what she could remember, this was the first time Penny had given her positive information about how she was handling her own life. Her mind circled back a little to their previous conversation, and her current mention of Leonard. "How are you doing with the whole Leonard situation? Just so you know, I did tell your father about what happened."

"That she did." Wyatt nodded, keeping his expression neutral.

"We're trying to be friends." Penny said. She didn't want to tell her about the slip-ups and the awkward moments, but what she'd said wasn't a lie either. "It's not the easiest thing in the world, but we're trying."

"It's nice to hear that. I'm happy for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mom." Penny bit her lip then, becoming nervous again as she worked up the courage to bring up the topic she'd had in mind when she'd texted them earlier to ask if they could talk. _Just go for it, _she told herself. _They're you're parents. _"Umm, I do kind of need a little help, though."

"Of course, sweetheart, what is it?" Meryl encouraged.

"Well..." Penny cleared her throat, once more feeling like a child. "You know I've stopped drinking, right? I wasn't lying to you about that. Sometimes I'll have a glass of wine, but that's about it. But... when I _was _drinking, it was... it's expensive, and it just made me so... careless and... Leonard was onto it but I didn't want him to help, I mean, he already does so much for me and it wouldn't be fair," she rambled, trying to get to her point. "Anyway, I need... I kind of need some help paying my bills."

"I thought you were finally on top of them?" Meryl frowned.

"I was. But I just kind of lost track of them and now I really don't have the money to pay for all of them."

"Sweetheart, we always taught you to make sure you could pay off your bills and have the necessities - anything after that was a reward." Wyatt reminded her. "We've helped you out plenty of times, sweetheart, but you need to stop getting into this mess."

"Daddy, I know, but I was _really _upset, and-"

"That's not an excuse." Meryl pointed out. "I know you were upset and I know things are difficult for you, but you're not eighteen years old anymore, Penny. You're a grown woman, you need to be thinking about the consequences of your actions."

"But you _understand-_"

"Of course I understand, sweetheart. These things are difficult and you're having a tough time, I get that, I've been there. So has your sister. But that's why I'm telling you, and why your father and I are so adamant that you learn this. It's very easy, turning straight to your coping device and not thinking about how it's going to affect you later. I'm glad that you've stopped with the drinking sweetheart, but you should've thought about what happened last time. You chose to move out, you knew what responsibilities you would have and we have told you countless times."

"I know," Penny was on the verge of tears, which wasn't helping her in the slightest. "I did a stupid thing and I got myself into this mess but I just really need a little help with this, _please_, I will give you back the money when I have it but right now I don't and-"

"Penny, listen to me sweetheart." Wyatt interjected. "We will give you the money. You know we'll always be here to help you out when you need us."

"Thank you, Daddy." Penny said quietly, sensing that her father wasn't finished talking just yet.

"But I have to say," Wyatt continued. "I'm disappointed in you, Penny. With everything you went through before, your mother and I thought you had learned something - about paying your bills, about dealing with break-ups, about drinking. I'm not saying that you haven't listened completely or that you haven't made amends, because you have, and we are truly proud of you. Of course we are going to help you, no matter what, Slugger. But it's disappointing that we still have to do so, and so often."

"Daddy-"

"I would have thought seeing Leonard with that other woman would have shown you how much more in control of your life you need to be-"

"It _has_!" Penny insisted.

"Then act like it." Wyatt said. "You're always telling us things are going better for you, you're growing up, trying harder with your work and paying your bills, not doing all those stupid things you did before. And I see that you are doing those sweetheart, but you let yourself slip too easily."

"He's right, sweetheart." Meryl added.

"I know he is." Penny replied dejectedly, knowing she had no argument.

"It's one thing that you do that to yourself," Wyatt began.

His wife continued his sentence. "But you're dragging Leonard into your mess as well. Not just with your bills, and having to take care of you, but also with the whole sex thing. He has a girlfriend, he needs to be focusing on her, not you."

That one had hurt; Penny found herself frowning at her mothers comment for a moment before her defensive mind came back into play. "Mom, we haven't had sex in ages. And you said it yourself that I'm not the only one to blame for that!"

"Just because you're not doing it _now _doesn't make it better that it was happening before. You were still a part of it, sweetheart. Tell me that you haven't so much as _thought _about it or tried to act upon a moment." Meryl paused as she looked at her daughter sternly. "Tell me."

Penny's bottom lip trembled slightly as she withered beneath her mothers glare. "I can't."

Wyatt sighed. "Listen, Slugger, I know you're having a difficult time and that this hasn't been easy on you. Leonard is a wonderful, kind, passionate guy who really cared about you - and probably still does care about you - a _lot._ He's obviously had a lot of trouble with relationships and women throughout his life. And you know him much better than I do, Penny. I know that you want him to be happy. So what gives you the right to go meddling in his relationship? What gives you the right to think you can have sex with him as you please, when you're the one who messed things up, and you _know _he can't say no to you?"

"Daddy-"

"He's right, Penny." Meryl said, her voice now strict. Penny knew this was where her parents moved to a different tactic, and it was the one she hated the most. "Stop trying to be _that _girl. You're not in high school anymore; it won't make you more popular, or likeable, or get you a seat at the 'cool' table or a nomination for Prom Queen. It's hurting people. Don't be that girl."

"And before you say anything," Wyatt added. "We know Leonard is in the wrong too. But you need to remember, what you're doing isn't right either."

Glaring at her parents on the screen through glassy eyes, Penny jutted her jaw out. "I have to go."

As their daughter closed down her laptop screen, Wyatt and Meryl turned to each other, sighing in unison "told you she'd do that."

* * *

Kim couldn't help but smirk as she saw Leonard enter the Cheesecake Factory, followed by the rest of the usual group that were with him. Penny's story instantly came to the forefront of her mind, and she walked over to the table with a grin.

"Hey guys," she smiled around the table before her eyes landed on Leonard. "Hello Leonard."

"Uh... hi?" Leonard looked at her questioningly, and she realized that she was still smirking at him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Priya shoot Kim a glare. _Alright, that bitch better enjoy me sneezing on whatever she orders, I didn't even do anything. _

Clearing her throat, Kim smiled around the table again. "I'm Kim... I've served you guys before and Howard, we've met a few times."

"Well, I'm engaged now, so," Howard shrugged awkwardly at her.

"Yeah... I know. You're a lucky girl, Bernadette." Kim winked at the short blonde next to Howard. "Penny's still on her break so I'll get you started on drinks for now and then hand you over."

"I would much rather you didn't." Sheldon said. "Granted, I find your friendly manner unsettling and have no wish to get to know you better. But you do a better job than Penny. You don't threaten to spit in my hamburger when you bring it over and I go through the check-list to make sure my food was made correctly."

"Yes, it would be lovely to have you serve us, Kim." Priya smiled.

_Seriously, you don't even trust your boyfriends ex-girlfriend so much as serving your table? _Kim raised a brow at Priya. "No, I have a break and then I'm working the bar, so..." she shrugged. "Drinks?"

As they ordered, Kim grinned as Bernadette mouthed 'make it full fat' while Priya asked for a diet cola. She pulled their drinks through quickly and took their food orders before heading into the staff room.

"Hey, panties, your friends are here. I got them drinks and took their orders but your break is over and I need mine before I work the bar."

"Okay." Penny shrugged, in the same lifeless tone she'd greeted her with earlier that evening.

She hadn't even put up an argument about being called 'panties' - which Kim had ignored earlier, but now it was just weird. She'd been the same all through the first part of her shift - not really smiling, completely unenthusiastic, but getting orders right as if she was trying to concentrate solely on her work and nothing else. Coming to sit next to her, Kim put a hand on Penny's arm. "You okay, Penny?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I gave Priya a full fat coke instead of diet." Kim offered.

Sighing, Penny stood up and smoothed down her skirt. "My break is over, I should get back to work."

* * *

Making up his mind, Leonard quickly downed the rest of his diet coke as he saw Kim begin her bar shift. "Anybody want another drink?" The group looked at him with a raised brow, drinks still pretty much full. The general consensus was that no, they didn't. "I'll go get myself one from the bar, it's quicker."

Rushing up from his seat before he had a choice, he walked over to the bar and sat down on one of the stools. Now he was nervous. He wasn't sure just pouring a diet coke was long enough for what he wanted to ask Kim, or for her to give him an answer. But he'd figured, from what he knew about her from Penny and Bernadette, she was the closest thing to good advice as he would get, and he didn't know how else to find time for a conversation with her. Clearing his throat, he drummed his hand anxiously on his leg. "Hi, Kim. Can I have a diet coke?"

Turning from the till, Kim raised a brow. "Didn't I _just _give you one?"

"Umm, yeah." Leonard nudged his empty glass to her.

"Okay..."

"Can I ask you something?"

Instantly, Kim's head shot up. This had to be something to do with Penny, she thought, it just had to. "Yes."

"Okay... hypothetically... _hypothetically... _if a guy is seeing a girl, and he-"

"Kisses his ex-girlfriend, is it wrong?" Kim finished for him, placing his glass into the dish tray. "Yeah. If this guys girlfriend is... kind of a bitch? Still yeah, but more understandable."

"W-what?" Leonard stuttered. How did Kim know about that? He wasn't even sure his assumption was right, but he could tell that she knew from the way she looked at him with a raised brow and knowing expression on her face.

"Mm, yeah." Kim shrugged in response. "The ex-girlfriend told me about the Starbucks kiss and the post-Aniston movie kiss... and the guys girlfriend not only left me no tip after having coffee with the ex-girlfriend, but she just gave me a horrible look when I said hi to you earlier."

Leonard watched as Kim picked up a clean glass and brought it over to the soda tap. "Penny told you that stuff?" He asked in surprise.

"Yup." Kim nodded, filling the glass with diet coke. "But that's all she told me, so the rest is up to you."

"What do you mean, the rest?"

"Well if there was more to it then you wouldn't be sneaking away from your friends to talk to me." Kim placed the full glass on the counter, before knocking it off so it spilt on the bar. Leonard moved his arms away quickly, frowning at Kim, who simply shrugged before saying loudly "oh, now I have to clean this up and start again!"

"_Oh._" Leonard gave the smallest of nods as he realized that Kim was giving him time. "Okay," he said as Kim began to slowly clean up the mess she had made. "Uh... well, my friends are all... really useless with this kind of thing, so, what I tell you... can you keep that from Penny but give me advice?"

"Are you asking me to be a guy, effectively?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alright." Kim shrugged, wringing out the cloth into the mop bucket beneath the bar. "But I won't talk like a guy."

"That's fine." Leonard grabbed a few napkins from the bar to dab at his jacket where the diet coke had splashed, as Kim continued to wipe the bar dry. "Okay. So... what do I do? I know I'm an ass for what I'm doing to Penny... and to Priya."

"You hesitated before saying Priya." Kim pointed out, almost forgetting to keep herself busy.

Leonard ignored her comment. "It's not the kind of guy I am. It took me like, two years to ask her out on a proper date. And then over a year later, Penny was the one who made the move that began our relationship. I mean... I guess I was the one who slept with Dr. Plimpton and Mrs. Latham... but I was never really _that _guy."

"Ooh!" Once more, Kim found herself smirking. "You're a ladies man."

"Yeah... I really don't think so." Leonard shook his head.

"Damn," Kim spoke loudly again. "Dropped the tap nozzle. Now I'll have to clean it before I serve your drink, sorry Leonard."

"Thank you." Leonard said shyly. _No wonder Penny's told her stuff, _Leonard thought, _she actually lets you talk._ "I seriously don't know what to do. I'm not _un_happy in my relationship with Priya, but whenever I'm with Penny, even though I know it's wrong, I don't stop anything. I should feel guilty about what I'm doing, but I don't. I feel like an ass, but not a guilty one."

"You say you're not unhappy," Kim wiped the nozzle slowly. "But are you _happy _in your relationship?"

Pausing, Leonard frowned. "I..."

"Can I make an observation?"

"Go for it." Leonard shrugged, at a loss of what else to tell her.

"From what I've heard, you and Priya didn't start with a relationship. It was just casual sex whenever she was here, right?" Kim put the nozzle back onto the tap as Leonard nodded slowly. "But with Penny, you started off as friends and built an emotional attachment, and developed that as your relationship moved along."

"Yeah, I guess that's right."

"Alright, so this is my _conclusion, _if that's the right word for it." Kim reached for a fresh glass. "That emotional attachment you have with Penny? It's still there. For both of you - and she won't admit that, ever, but it's there. So whatever is going on between you two, it's not because you're a bad guy who wants to cheat on his girlfriend. I think what's happening between you is because of this attachment and neither of you are willing or ready to let go of it, but you don't want to talk about it either. She's too closed up to say anything, and you're too scared of pushing her because the last time you did, you pushed too far and you lost her."

Leonard watched Kim, his mouth slightly open, as she filled up the glass. He wasn't sure what to say. This woman didn't even know him that well but she'd just worked out his biggest problem as though it was written across his face in block capitals and black ink.

"One final thing, because your girlfriend is giving me evil glares." Kim cleared her throat to bring Leonard's attention back, and he shook his head slightly. "Whatever it is... you both need to sort it out. Maybe it was fun at first, whether it was sex or making out or just spending time together, but it's hurting you both and doing too much harm. You're a good guy Leonard but that doesn't excuse the fact that what you're doing is wrong. If you don't feel guilty about what you're putting your girlfriend through, at _least _feel guilty for what you're doing to Penny. Because she's... confused, and hurt, and she's been up and down for a while now but there's only so much a girl can take, even a girl like Penny. I know how much you care about her, and you know her better than all of us, and she's blames _herself _for what's happening."

Passing him his diet coke, Kim shot a glare back to Priya as Leonard slowly put a straw in his drink.

"Umm, well... thank you, Kim." Leonard gave her a quick smile as he stood up slowly. She had told him everything he needed, but now he had to face going back to his friends and his girlfriend, when what he really needed was some time alone. And Penny would be there, bringing them their food, with Kim right across at the bar. He sighed as he picked up his drink.

"No problem." Kim leant forwards on the bar. "By the way, I lied when I said one last thing earlier."

"Oh?"

"Penny won't tell you this, but you didn't hear it from me either... I just think you should know before you go beating yourself up about everything completely." Kim leant forward even more and lowered her voice. "You're not the only one doing something wrong. Priya's been texting her ex-boyfriend... at least she was when she had her coffee with Penny. Like, non-stop."

Leonard gave Kim a sharp nod and began to slowly make his way back to the table, drink in hand. He knew that Priya had spoken to her ex-boyfriend on Facebook, but he hadn't known that them talking was ongoing. Okay, so it wasn't anywhere near as bad as what he was doing, but still. And she'd been texting him in front of Penny? He sat down, letting out a deep breath to try calm all the thoughts running through his mind in that moment.

"What took you so long?" Priya asked, with what he was sure was a forced smile.

"Kim spilt my drink." Leonard said blankly.

"Guess she's just as bad a barmaid as Penny." Sheldon commented, looking over at Kim with a disappointed look on his face. "The Cheesecake Factory... home of _awful _menial workers, but surprisingly good burgers and Chocolate Fudge Sundaes."

"That's still a long time." Priya pointed out.

"Yeah, well, Kim is Penny's friend and we just talked." Leonard responded with a tone of annoyance in his voice that none of them had really heard before. He hadn't meant it to come out like that, but will all that was running through his mind he didn't need to be pushed about how long it took to get a diet coke.

Bernadette raised her eyebrows at Leonard in shock, before looking over at Kim, who had now busied herself with another customer. Sighing, she turned back to Leonard. In retrospect, she should have gone up to the bar too so she could talk with both of them; there was no doubt in her mind that the two of them were talking about Penny. There was nothing else, really, that the two of them had to talk about.

Priya jutted her jaw out and rolled her eyes, turning away from Leonard to look at her knife and fork instead. Amy turned to Sheldon as Howard turned to Raj, beginning discussions to wash over the brief, awkward silence. Leonard sulked at his hands in his lap, wishing more than anything that he could just leave right now and simply be alone. Solitude had never felt like a more welcoming idea, and yet he knew that right now he had to sit here and eat dinner with his friends and try _not _to think about what he was so desperate to think about. He could feel Bernadette's eyes on him, and he briefly looked up at her. She gave him a sympathetic smile, before turning to join Howard and Raj's conversation. As he began trying to focus on whatever ridiculous conversation Sheldon and Amy were having, Penny walked over with their plates, followed by a second waitress with another set of plates.

"Here are your orders," Penny said, in a voice dripping with fake enthusiasm - though Leonard noticed that aside from Bernadette, and possibly Amy from the look on her face - the others had mistaken it for _actual _enthusiasm.

As the meals were placed in front of them, he realized that it was the second waitress that had placed his plate before him. This was odd; it had _always _been Penny who had his meal. He looked up at her questioningly, but she quickly shifted her gaze over to her suddenly very interesting chipped nail polish.

Out of what seemed like nowhere, Priya suddenly cleared her throat and looked up as the second waitress left the table. "Umm, Penny, tomorrow we are ordering a mixed kitchen of food for Sheldon's 'anything can happen Thursday' - would you like to join us?"

Head snapping up quickly, Leonard's face formed a confused expression as he looked from Penny to Priya repeatedly. His mind formed two theories in an instant. The first was that his annoyance had made Priya realize that she couldn't stop Penny from hanging out with her friends, and that Priya had also finally taken to Sheldon's crazy (though admittedly, convenient) schedule. The second was that she was just pissed off with him, probably Penny too, and just wanted to remind both Leonard and Penny that Priya could play at this game too, and give Penny a chance to hang out with all her friends again before taking it away from her again. He wished it were the first, though if he was honest he thought it more likely to be the second.

Looking just as stunned as he felt, Penny blinked a couple of times as she looked at Priya, and then over at Leonard. "Umm," she kept her eyes on his, as though looking for his approval. He responded with the smallest of nods and a weak smile, before she looked back to Priya. "Yeah, okay, sure. Thank you."

"We're going to need to order extra food." Sheldon muttered in annoyance, as Penny left the table.


	51. Chapter 51

"Amy... _what _are you doing?" Bernadette asked with a look of slight horror at the sight on the laptop screen.

"Forwarding Penny a few articles on tension-relieving techniques for ladies." Amy stated matter-of-factly.

"You do realize that anybody who walks by can see what's on your screen?" Kim pointed out. She was right; Amy was sat at the bar with her laptop out. She had been waiting on Bernadette to finish her shift, who had introduced her properly to Kim.

"Oh, I'm sure anything people see will come in handy to them."

"You really think it's a good idea to send that to Penny?" Kim frowned, leaning over the bar and twisting her body slightly to take a look at the screen.

"I don't see why not." Amy shrugged, entering Penny's e-mail address.

"She's so wound up these days, I think she needs them." Bernadette nodded.

"Alright." Kim raised a brow and stood properly behind the bar again. "She'll probably need them tonight since she'll be seeing Leonard at your anything-can-happen Thursday thing."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bernadette asked.

Smirking, Kim shrugged. "Nothing."

Bernadette squinted at Kim for a moment before Amy announced "sent it!"

"Just be careful," Kim continued, her face now serious. "She's all... I dunno, weird these days."

"Hmm, she has been really quiet." Bernadette agreed. "Though we haven't really seen her recently."

"She is a complicated golden-haired creature. One day she's having erotic dreams about Leonard and bitching non-stop about that New Delhi princess. The next she's quiet and dull as my own sex life."

Shuddering, Kim widened her eyes at Bernadette as though to say 'what the hell?' before looking back at Amy. "That's a... strange comparison, but strangely accurate. Just keep an eye on her, okay?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine in a few days time." Bernadette smiled reassuringly.

"Mm, maybe." Kim was uncertain, but then again, these two girls did spend more time with Penny than she did these days.

"But we'll still keep an eye on our bestie." Amy confirmed. "When she first met Priya she tried to convince me she was alright with Leonard's new relationship. I was later proven right that she was upset by it when she cried so much I got a Rhesus money to cry."

"Umm... what?" Kim pulled a face.

"Basically, she cried a lot." Bernadette explained. "Anyway, we should go, Amy. If Penny's there before us things might get awkward over there."

"This is true." Amy shut her laptop.

"Guys, before you go," Kim put down the wine glass she had been buffing, placing both hands on the bar. "Keep an eye on Priya too."

"What for?" Frowning, Amy watched Kim as she put her laptop into her bag.

"She's the one who invited Penny, there must be some kind of bitchy motive behind that." Kim shrugged.

"What else?" Bernadette urged, knowing that wasn't the only thing.

"Alright, I told Leonard this, but I don't know, I'll tell you so you can see if you spot anything weird with that bitch." Kim sighed. "Remember when Penny had coffee with Priya? Priya was texting her ex-boyfriend... quite a lot. I don't even know if Leonard knows they've been talking or whatever, but Penny was upset about it. So, just... yeah, maybe she won't do it in front of everyone but who knows."

"That bitch is crafty." Amy nodded.

"Hmm." Bernadette frowned, picking up her handbag. "Okay."

"And let me know what happens!" Kim said, as Amy got off the barstool.

* * *

Penny put her phone back down on the table for what must have been the fiftieth time. Her mind had been in a constant back-and-forth over replying with 'yeah, I'll be there, just the usual' or 'sorry I won't be able to make it' to Leonard's text asking if she would still be coming and what she wanted to eat. And that had only been the last ten minutes. She'd been battling with herself the whole time since Priya had invited her whether she should actually go.

Of course, for the most part, she wanted to go. There was no denying that she missed getting to hang out with all of her friends. Even Sheldon's quirks, she missed. Since moving here, eating with the guys - and then the girls, too - had become a part of normality. The weird, nerdy conversations, trying to work out what demon possessed Howard's mind that made him think it was cool to wear a dickie, wandering what Raj was _actually _whispering in Howard's ear. Leonard rolling his eyes at her and sharing a smile whenever Sheldon made a stupid comment or one of the guys said something inappropriate.

Not to mention, she'd had one of the most horrid weeks. It was like karma; just as she'd told her parents things were going well, they had taken a turn. And honestly, she needed her friend's weird, confusing but amusing conversations to take her mind off things. They were always good at that.

But then there was the big issue of Priya being there. She tried to tell herself that it would be fine, because they had been getting along slightly better recently. However, the thought of being around her and in the same room as her, with Leonard there too, was both uncomfortable and uninviting. She wouldn't be able to laugh and grab onto Leonard's arm or knee, like she usually would when she found something really funny. She wouldn't be able to sit next to him, knees touching slightly, stealing food off his plate. The little things she was used to doing were the things that Priya would pick up on, and the things that Priya would use in argument to not invite her back.

_Screw it, _she told herself, picking up her phone and going through to Leonard's text.

_**Yeah, I'll be there :) just the usual x**_

Hitting send, she took a deep breath. At least she sounded light and cheery in her text message. If he had seen her more than going into or leaving her apartment over the last week, or anybody had for that matter, he probably would have been worried, he always was. It was easier to keep things to herself sometimes. She was pretty certain Kim could tell something was up, but she never said anything about it other than asking if she was okay whenever they were at work together. Amy and Bernadette had hardly seen her either, so she didn't have them nagging her to talk. Which was good, because she didn't want to. She didn't even know where to start, or if she _wanted _to start somewhere - it was all a mess in her mind.

With a heavy sigh, Penny stood and dragged herself to her bedroom and opened her closet. She knew she couldn't go over there in sweats - perhaps she could have before, but it didn't seem right to do so anymore. Pulling out a pair of blue skinny jeans and a black shirt, she tried to tell herself that it was fine. She didn't have to talk to Priya the whole time, and the girls would be there. The guys would have some kind of nerdy conversation going on, probably, and she could usually contribute something to those, even if it was just a comment to annoy Sheldon.

It still didn't shake the feeling that she didn't _really _want to engage in any social activity. What she did want was to talk to Leonard, without having to worry about Priya, or emotions, or putting herself out there and then getting in the way of Leonard's life. But at the same time, that would make him worry about her, and she didn't want to do that either. Shaking her head, she decided it was easier to just put on a smile and get on with it - eventually this would pass over and she'd be back to her normal self.

* * *

She didn't look quite the same anymore, Leonard realized, as everybody began to fill their plates with the varied dishes of their mixed kitchen buffet.

Where she was usually cheerful, and smiley, and quipped with sarcastic comments and puzzled questions about whatever nerdy topic the guys were talking about, it was gone. Her usual confidence and eagerness was absent, as was the spark in her eyes. Normally, she was quick to pile food onto her plate from the coffee table, and argue with Sheldon over who got the last dumpling, or something just as silly, and win. Or tell a joke, or just eat the last dumpling, or throw Sheldon off with a sarcastic comment.

Instead, she sat quietly in the chair Raj usually occupied, shoulders slouched, leaning against the backrest. Her eyes darted around the room without interest, not even listening to the conversations going on around her. She held an empty plate in her hands, not even fidgeting with it to annoy Sheldon or looking at the food. She waited until everybody else had filled their own plates, before putting the little that was left on her own plate. Sheldon asked her if she would fill in for Leonard on Halo night, and instead of putting up an argument about already having plans or saying she didn't want to get involved in their nerdy nights, she gave a non-committal shrug. He swore he could see her quickly glance at him and Priya, sitting opposite her, on the couch, as though her mind was confirming she would be taking his place playing Halo because he'd be with her.

Leonard frowned as he leaned back into the couch. How did nobody else see how upset she was? How hadn't he seen it before? She looked as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, like there was no happiness in her life at all. Her usually happy, bubbly, friendly persona had disappeared completely. The Penny they all knew wasn't there. She looked tired, he observed, he could see it in her eyes. Even her make-up couldn't hide it, though maybe that was because he knew her so well. The look on her face, the troubled, hurt, tired look on her face seemed so obvious. Even Amy and Bernadette seemed oblivious to this. He tried to figure out if he really hadn't noticed this look on Penny before - they had been hanging out far less these days, and he had barely seen her over the past week at all - or if it was something new. Did it make him a bad friend for not realizing? He looked at her plate, and saw that she hadn't even touched what she'd put on it - which was strange, because she was usually the first to finish her food. What was happening to her, why was she like this? He wanted to know, he wanted to put a smile on her face, but he didn't even know what had taken it away in the first place. Maybe when she left he would go over to her apartment and check that she was okay... but Priya wouldn't want him going over there.

He suddenly realized that he had just been staring at Penny this whole time. Shaking his head slightly, he looked down at his food, before taking a quick glance back up at Penny. She saw him that time, and he gave her a quick smile, before turning his attention back to his food. He caught her returning the smile, but it was only a very small one and looked more forced than real.

As Sheldon began to discuss his latest thoughts on the newest train model set, he felt Priya's phone vibrate through the pocket of her jeans.

"You gonna get that?" He asked, when it went past the two buzzes indicating a message to the consecutive ones that meant it was a call.

"No, it's okay, I'll just get it later." Priya said with ease.

He frowned, and saw Penny, Amy and Bernadette look at Priya and then each other, and then at him, before hastily returning to the conversations they had just been having. Penny had turned to talk to Raj, but quickly raised her eyes to look suspiciously at Priya. He didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to work out that they most likely knew what Kim had told him about Priya talking to her ex-boyfriend. He knew he probably shouldn't be _this _bothered - it was just talking over text and Facebook, as far as he knew. But she made a big deal over Penny simply being in the same room as him, while there were other people there too. That was something that _did _bother him that he believed he had a right to be annoyed about. Penny hanging out with the whole group was hardly an issue in comparison to Priya's secretive, private messages with Sanjay.

After a while, things seemed to pick up a little with Penny. Maybe she had noticed him staring at her earlier with a concerned, thoughtful look on his face - he had never been good at hiding that - and decided to try and hide the expression she had come in with. She spoke mainly with Raj, occasionally joining in the group conversation with comments that weren't quite as funny or enthusiastic as they usually were.

It felt strange, seeing her there but not really talking to her. What had happened to being 'just friends'? Over the past week, it had been more like 'just distant neighbors'. Usually, he would have sat next to her and they would have caught each other up with what had been happening over the past week. Or, as they had been doing before, just happening across each others company and spending some time together, just the two of them. He missed that. Despite the unspoken words and the weirdness that still existed between them, he loved being in her company. Even if it was watching a Jennifer Aniston movie, or just sitting in his apartment, or having a coffee in Starbucks. Sure, it had only been a week, but it still felt more than that. And he couldn't simply ignore the fact that she looked so upset and worn out all of a sudden, the first he'd seen her properly since... since she'd used his shower and his towel, now that he thought about it. Even when he'd seen her at work when Priya had invited her, she had seemed upset, but he had tried not to dwell on that too much.

At least Penny seemed to be enjoying herself a bit more now, he thought to himself with a smile, before turning to join Priya and Sheldon's discussion over California State Law - which he didn't really get or care about, but it was better than Amy telling a scared-looking Bernadette about the new range of electric toothbrushes being brought out at CVS.

Aside from Priya's phone going off occasionally and her ignoring it, he had finally forgotten about his suspicions of her messages and her inviting Penny over for dinner with them all. Penny had appeared slightly happier too, though he still caught her staring into space with a frown every so often, arms crossed in front of her. He had let himself enjoy the company of his friends and girlfriend as the mixed kitchen dinner went on. Penny even made a sarcastic comment that everybody laughed at (except Priya) when Sheldon complained that there was no logic at all behind ordering different cuisines and eating them together, as it was sure to mess with peoples digestive systems. So once the latest debate over who would take Sheldon to Radio Shack the following day, Priya's next comment brought back a certain tension.

Intentionally looking at Penny with a smirk she couldn't quite hide, and her hand on Leonard's arm, Priya announced "Sweetie, I'm cold. Could I possibly borrow one of your hoodies?"

Although he was sitting across the table from her and her eyes weren't on him, he could practically feel Penny tense up. He could feel Amy and Bernadette's eyes swivel from Penny, to him, to Priya, and then back to him. He wasn't sure what the look on Penny's face was: a painful mixture of surprise, hurt and... dislike, almost. He hadn't seen it before.

"I don't understand how you could possibly be cold." Sheldon said in disbelief. "This apartment's thermostat is set to an ideal temperature meaning the habitants are highly unlikely to be hot nor cold. The outdoor weather is substantially warm and you are wearing a long-sleeved shirt with pants made of a thick material of which I can't quite decipher the blend. Are you ill?"

Priya shrugged, with a small smile playing on her face. "I don't know, I'm just cold. But who knows? If I'm ill, hopefully I won't have passed it on to Leonard last night."

She turned to grin at him, and he gave a forced, short, nervous laugh in return. "I'm sure she's not ill."

"I'm sorry, are you a medical doctor now?" Sheldon raised his brows.

"No..." Leonard stood awkwardly, rubbing his hands on the outside of his jacket. "Umm, I'll go get you a... a hoodie."

Walking slowly, he did his best not to look at Penny. Priya had never asked to borrow his hoodie, or any of his clothes, for that matter. It had always been Penny who borrowed something - whether it was a hoodie, or a pair of boxers in the morning. He wasn't really certain why he was walking so slowly, until he reached his bedroom. He had been waiting for Penny to make some sort of remark, or ask for a hoodie as well, to even out the game. He'd never really thought about her doing it until now; he'd just gotten used to it. It made sense to him that she'd want to be on the same playing field as Priya when she said these things so bluntly and out of the blue.

He pulled out an old hoodie he no longer wore from the bottom of his chest of drawers and brought it out to the living area. To his relief, conversation had resumed, for the most part. Penny had gone back to staring blankly at her knees, and Priya looked somewhat smug. Amy and Bernadette were whispering to each other. He gave the hoodie to Priya as he sat back down next to her. She turned to look at him with an unimpressed look that read '_seriously? this?' _and he simply shrugged. He saw Penny over at them and smirk slightly at the sight of this unused hoodie which obviously did not impress Priya in the slightest. Nonetheless, she still put it on, making do of the situation.

For the rest of the evening, Priya was a lot more touchy-feely, much to the annoyance of both Leonard and Penny, and disgust of Raj and Sheldon. Leonard knew that he should enjoy this kind of thing, a woman with her hands on him all the time, planting small kisses on his cheek for no apparent reason. But it didn't feel like she was doing it out of affection at all. He could tell that were Penny not there, she wouldn't be doing this, because she certainly never did. A kiss hello and a kiss goodbye was all usually, in front of their friends. And she would look over at Penny every so often as though to make sure that she was watching.

Penny looked uncomfortable, and he could see her trying to temp her focus on something else. But even when she began to speak to Bernadette and Amy, and then to Howard, she would still cast glances over to him and Priya. He tried for the most part to ignore it and continue his discussion with Sheldon and Raj about the new Mystic Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack in great depth, but he was sure he caught Penny rolled her eyes in Priya's direction more than once.

"Well I can't win _every single game,_" Sheldon argued, when Raj gleefully brought up the day Sheldon had lost two games. "The cards are dealt out without bias, not even my brilliantly logical mind can predict the dealing and how the players use their cards."

"Who cares!" Raj laughed, placing his empty beer bottle onto the floor next to him. "You are a sore loser, Sheldon Cooper, and you can't stand to be beaten."

"I did not _lose._"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you lost." Leonard pointed out with a grin.

"Such a shame you didn't get to use the new card when it was in your hand." Raj smirked. "The _best _card!"

"Well, it is _not _my fault I'm not accustomed to losing." Sheldon retorted. "I'm not Penny."

"Excuse me?" Penny raised a brow, looking over at him.

"Well, you are one who is familiar to the concept of failure and losing, both in games and your personal life."

"She's pretty bad-ass at Halo." Howard commented quietly.

Sheldon continued, "whereas I am customary to winning and success - in games as well as my work."

"Okay, where the hell does my personal life come into this if you're talking about Mystic Warlords of Ka-a?" Penny asked quickly, more on edge than usual.

"It was simply a side comment." Sheldon shrugged. "I have lost very few games of Mystic Warlords, thus am not used to losing. You have lost out on many callbacks and auditions, thus you are not labeled a 'sore loser'."

"Sheldon," Leonard warned. "That's not a fair comparison."

"Penny doesn't play Mystic Warlords. Saying she was accustomed to losing at Mystic Warlords would have been an unfair comparison." Sheldon stated.

"Alright, whatever," Penny stood, putting her still almost-full plate down onto the coffee table.

"Bestie, where are you going?" Amy asked worriedly, eyebrows raised high.

"Back to my apartment." Penny tried to relax her face a little and smile at Amy and Bernadette; she could tell they were concerned, but she didn't want them coming over.

The group watched as Penny left, and Sheldon frowned as the door shut. "Geez, sensitive much? I was going to continue with pointing out that Leonard is just as accustomed to failure as she is. Oh well."

For a moment they were all quiet, Sheldon returning to his food, Leonard with his eyes glued to the door, the rest of them looking at him expectantly. Finally, Howard checked his watch and rose from his seat, clearing his throat.

"Well, Bernie and I should probably get going."

"Yeah, me too." Amy nodded.

"Same here." Raj added.

"And you all call me a sore loser," Sheldon shook his head quietly.

Priya sighed and turned to Leonard, putting her hand on his shoulder, as the group got up to take their plates over to the sink. "Leonard."

"Huh?" He tore his eyes slowly from the door to look at Priya.

"If you want to talk to her, just go."

"What?"

"Look, I can tell that that something is bothering you and that you want to talk to her." Priya sighed, practically forcing the words from her mouth. "And from her reaction it's obvious you are the only person who can talk some sense to her."

_Some sense? _Leonard raised a brow, not sure how to react to what he was supposed to react to this. Was he supposed to say no, he wouldn't because Penny wasn't his girlfriend? Or did Priya expect him to say 'thank you for the permission to let me talk to my friend who is obviously upset'?

One thing was for sure, he decided, and that was that he _would _be talking to Penny. Surely Priya didn't expect him to decline helping out his best friend.

"Anyway," Priya continued, when he still didn't say anything, standing up. "I'm going to go home too."

"Oh, yeah, alright." Leonard nodded, also standing. "I'm going to talk to Penny, okay?"

"Listen, Leonard." Priya put a hand on his arm again as she swung her handbag over her shoulder. "I know I don't like the two of you hanging out. But if she needs somebody to talk to then fine. Obviously Sheldon said something that has upset her."

_Really? Just Sheldon? _ "Yeah. Okay."

They all said their goodbyes, Amy and Bernadette giving him sympathetic, supportive smiles but not saying anything. He set about clearing up the dishes and take-out trays, binning Penny's uneaten food, while Sheldon got ready for bed. When he finally heard him call goodnight and shut his bedroom door, Leonard took a breath and walked across to Penny's apartment.

He knocked on the door quietly, and it briefly crossed his mind that she may have gone to sleep. But it still wasn't that late, so he turned the doorknob and opened her door a little.

She was sat on the floor, leaning her back against the couch, her head dropped back onto the seat of the couch. There was a wine glass up on the coffee table next to her, and he couldn't help but frown at that.

"Hey." Leonard said quietly, to announce his presence.

Penny lifted her head off the couch and turned to look at him. She offered a weak smile, but didn't move from her position. "Hey."

"You okay?" Leonard asked, stepping inside and shutting the door softly behind him.

In response, Penny shrugged slightly, still holding the same weak smile. "Not particularly."

"Oh." Frowning, Leonard came to sit next to her on the floor. "You wanna... you wanna talk about it?"

Again, Penny shrugged, although inside she knew that yes, she _did _want to talk to Leonard.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Leonard offered, wondering if maybe this was too much for her.

"No, it's okay. I sort of..." Penny sighed, and leant her head on Leonard's shoulder. "It's just been that kind of week."


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N - Happy Hello Kitty Monday! :) This is one long chapter but I really love it. Let me know what you think! **

* * *

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when Leonard slid an arm around Penny, his hand coming to rest just below her shoulder, pulling her into a gentle hug.

In that moment, Penny found herself feeling more comfortable and calm than she had been at any point during the past week. Feeling herself relax into his side, she closed her eyes for a moment to just take in the tranquility. Opening them again, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, but feeling much more at ease.

"I had an audition on Saturday." Penny began slowly.

"Oh, you never told us that! How was it?"

"Mm, I didn't bother telling anyone. No-one really cares anymore, nothing ever comes of it." Penny shrugged into him.

"Hey, don't say that. You know we all care. Why would you think that we don't?"

"I dunno." Penny paused, sighing. "Anyway, it was awful. I spent so long practicing my audition monologue and I actually thought I had it down pretty well. I was kind of nervous and I only messed up once, but I thought I did a good job overall."

"Well, that's good then, right?" Leonard asked.

"Nope." Penny shook her head slightly, squeezing her eyes shut to hold back the tears she could feel threatening to fall from her eyes. "They told me... they told me I shouldn't bother wasting peoples time when there are thousands of people out there better than me. Then the director told me I also shouldn't waste my _own _time because I won't be getting anywhere no matter how hard I try."

"Oh, that's horrible!" Leonard exclaimed. He felt her sob against him, but she didn't say anything further, so he simply held her closer and rubbed her arm gently. "You don't want to be working with somebody like that anyway. You'll find a part where the director isn't a total ass and it's something you enjoy."

"Easier said than done." Penny mumbled, drawing her knees up to her chest. "It just made me feel like crap, to have someone say that to my face right after I put myself out there with their stupid monologue."

"Clearly they weren't being professional. It's not worth it. I bet their play is going to suck anyway."

She let out the smallest of giggles, before raising her head to look at Leonard seriously. Her eyes were still slightly teary, but she didn't care. "Do _you _think I'm wasting my time, Leonard? With this whole acting thing? I mean... I haven't really done anything worthwhile. My classes are going well but in the real world it's just... I don't know if it's worth being turned down over and over again after trying for so long. It's kind of difficult not to take the 'constructive criticism' personally these days. Even people who are just starting out don't want me for their work."

"Of course it's not a waste of time." Leonard said quickly, his voice sure. "It's your dream, you shouldn't give up on it, no matter how long it takes. You know it's not easy in the industry, you told me that yourself. If your classes are going well, and you're happy with them, then you're on the right track. It's not a waste of time at all. You're very talented, and you need the right people to see how amazing you are. But promise me one thing, okay?"

"What?"

"Next time, at least tell _me _you've got an audition, so I can wish you luck."

Penny blushed, though she wasn't sure why. She just felt touched that he was actually interested, and that he actually cared so much. "Okay. I will." He smiled at her, and she rested her chin on his shoulder. "Then I guess I should tell you I had another audition, but I haven't heard back from them yet."

"Really? What's that one for?"

"Yeah. It's for a commercial. I'm not getting my hopes up, it's nothing big, but I think it went kinda well."

"Maybe your luck will change then." Leonard grinned. "Not as big, but still something, right?"

"I guess."

Shifting her head back to rest on his shoulder, Penny frowned slightly before biting on her lip. Her mind was brought back to what had really begun bothering her in the first place last week. She figured Leonard would understand, and even if he didn't, he would still listen to her and she needed that. Chewing on her lip as he continued drawing small patterns on her arm with his fingers, she mulled over how much she could say without bringing up the parts that he was involved in - or if, perhaps, now was a good time to. She'd simply have to face it and see how things went.

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Has... have your parents ever said they're disappointed in you?"

"Umm, well, my mom has." Leonard sighed. "My dad at least had the decency not to say it out loud. Why do you ask?"

"I-" Penny bit her lip, stalling. "You remember my dad, right?"

Leonard let out a small chuckle. "How could I forget him?"

She couldn't help but smile at this a little. But only for a moment, as she moved on to the point in her question, surprising herself at how easy it seemed to be talking to Leonard right now. Perhaps it was easier because she was beyond vulnerable these days, but right now his comfort overpowered whatever fear she had in her.

"He's... okay, no... so, you've met my dad, but you haven't met my mom." Penny could practically feel him raise his brow in confusion. She found herself linking her arm with his, her hand fiddling with the material of his jacket as a nervous distraction and safety net. "My mom is... when she was younger, she did all sorts of stupid things. She drank a _lot_, she was reckless, and... and then she had three kids and spent years trying to settle down with a guy who was just as crazy as she was. That's why they're so intent I don't end up raising kids in a house on wheels, I mean, look how me, my brother and sister turned out, and they didn't start their own life so great either."

"Well, I think you turned out pretty great." Leonard said, shyly.

"You have to say that, you're my-" Penny stopped and frowned. "Anyway. So, she really gets us, and she knows how to talk to us and really get us to talk, especially me. That's what makes our relationship so... weird. I love her but I also spend a lot of time hating her and just not talking to her."

"Is that why she didn't visit with your dad?"

"Kind of." Again, Penny paused. She considered lifting her head to look at Leonard, but decided that not looking at him right now was probably best, so she could focus on what she had to say. She hesitated for a moment, and he waited patiently for her to continue, knowing all to well that pushing her to talk would most likely close her off. "Leonard, I told my mom what happened between... between us. And she told my dad. They both know what we did."

Leonard stuttered for a moment, caught off-guard with her comment, before settling on "oh."

"Yeah," Penny gulped, before moving on quickly so as not to dwell on the 'what happened between us' part too much. "So... there's that. And you remember how I told you I'd paid my bills and would get round to paying the water bill?"

"You didn't pay it, did you?" Leonard said quietly after a few seconds of silence.

"No." Penny shook her head, closing her eyes to prevent the tears she could feel building again, but still not letting go of Leonard. "After telling my parents that things were going well with work, letting them know that I had stopped drinking so much and that me and you were trying to be friends... for a moment they were actually proud of me, Leonard."

"And they should be!"

"I had to ask them for help paying my bills." Penny said blankly. "And they said they're disappointed in me. _Disappointed_. They weren't even mad, I can handle them being mad at me. But... they said after all this talk about how I'm doing better and growing up, I'm still reckless enough to waste my money on alcohol without thinking of the consequences, giving myself the easy way out, and then come back to them expecting help from them every single time... they're disappointed in me, Leonard."

Leonard simply held her in his arms, bringing his free hand to rub the arm she had linked through his. He felt her body tremble with sobs she was trying so desperately to suppress, but didn't say anything, just letting her take this how she wanted to. Parental disappointment was something he knew all too well, but had unfortunately grown accustomed to. It still hurt though, even though he was older and almost expected it, it was painful to hear. And to Penny, it must have been a thousand times worse. For struggling, vulnerable Penny, who was going through a difficult time with her career, and had been searching for her fathers approval for years, being told by her parents that they were disappointed was probably the last thing she needed to hear. He wasn't quite sure what the right thing to say here would be, so he just continued to hold her and rub her arms comfortingly.

Penny willed herself to keep calm; Leonard being so close to her was helping greatly, but her mind was screaming at her for denying him so many bits of information that massively contributed to how upset she was. And yes, her audition and what her parents had said were a large part of why she had been so completely down this week. But that was on top of what she didn't tell him, what she _couldn't _tell him: that seeing him with Priya, and trying to keep their own relationship to _just friends, _and Priya's constant reminders that that was all she was to him, were like wounds she thought were healing but kept opening at the worst of times. At the same time, having him so close and her need for an emotional release made it a little more difficult to keep everything to herself, yet a little easier to disclose enough of her problems to help him understand more of why she was so upset.

"You know why else they're disappointed in me, Leonard?" Penny said eventually, opening her eyes to look at the floor. Her eyelashes stuck with tears but she didn't notice. "Because from the bottom of their hearts, they truly believe that you are the most sweet, wonderful, smart and caring guy in the world. They saw the smile you put on my face that nobody had before and I could never stop talking about how great you were. My dad especially thought you were awesome... a keeper, I think he said," she let out a small chuckle here, before a tight, pained smile that was almost a grimace spread across her face. "My dad said what right do I have, to go meddling in your relationship when I was the one who messed our own relationship up."

She turned her head quickly to press her face into the side of his arm so he wouldn't see her cry. All she could feel was the wash of fear over what she had just told him, his warm, comforting, inviting arms and the occasional contraction she felt run through her body with each sob she couldn't suppress. It felt like too much, and she wanted to run, but she couldn't. Right now, even though every part of her was trying to close down from being so open, she needed to be in his arms. It was all she needed to be both terrified and relaxed, a state in which she could talk to him but still hold back the parts that would make her far too vulnerable.

"Penny," Leonard said quietly, when minutes had passed without her saying anything and he felt her calm down. "If I talk, will you listen to me?"

"Alright." Penny mumbled into his arm, before turning her head once more to rest on his shoulder, clinging tighter to his arm.

"I'm glad your parents like me so much... it makes a change, you know, from my parents. But what _we _did, is something _we _did - not just you. You're not meddling, Penny, and you're not the one who messed things up."

"Leonard-"

"No, Penny, listen." Leonard shook his head, sighing. "I'm the one who is in a relationship, _I'm _the one who is meddling in your life when I shouldn't be. You have a right to do whatever you want."

He waited for Penny to say something, and continued on when she stayed quiet. "I think your parents are just disappointed because they know you've been doing better and they don't want to see you going back to drinking and falling behind on your bills. And you told me they said they were proud of you - I bet they're more proud of you than they are disappointed. Remember that, Penny. Your parents are proud of you, and so am I."

"Hmm." Penny mustered in response.

They sat again in silence, but a more content one this time. Although Penny hadn't told him everything, and he hadn't tried to talk about exactly what had been happening between them as Kim had suggested, their talk was refreshing. Leonard had expected her to shut him out entirely, maybe sit there and just tell him that she'd had a rough week, like she often did. Penny hadn't expected it to be this easy, and while parts of it were terrifying, she knew it was only easy because of Leonard. She had amazing, wonderful, supportive friends who she knew she could turn to, but it was Leonard with whom she felt most comfortable and found the courage to get things off her chest. She had her girls for when she needed to talk about things like sex, or things that were happening with Leonard, or girly things like clothes and make-up. But almost everything else, she would speak to Leonard about. In fact, things happening with Leonard was probably the _only _thing she didn't speak to him about - they _did _talk about sex, and girly things, as well as his nerdy things. He really was the one person she felt she could talk to anything about, when she was brave enough to let her walls down. Whether is was her sex life had been blogged all over the internet, when Dave Underhill had tried to take nude photos of her without telling her he was married, even when she'd simply had a bad day at work, or was just upset over a TV show, it was always Leonard that she wanted talk to.

At the thought of this, for the first time since her week had gone completely downhill, Penny felt a full, proper smile form on her face.

His next comment only made her smile wider: "Oh, and Penny, _please _don't ever think you can't come and talk to me about stuff. Even if I have to come over here in the dark with a light saber. I don't want to see you upset like that again."

"Thank you, Leonard." Penny said, sincerely, with a smile on her face.

"Any time."

Glancing over at the glass of wine on the coffee table, Penny bit her lip. "I probably wasn't even going to drink that wine, you know. I kind of just poured it out of habit and put it there in case I really did end up needing it. And I did not."

"That's good." Leonard smiled. "I don't mind you having a glass of wine... it was just the constant drinking that was worrying. And I knew you were upset, so when I saw the wine when I came in I just thought... I didn't want you getting carried away."

"I'm much better with it now." Penny told him. "And it's all because of you, you know, Leonard. Even Kim is impressed, because she's seen me... _real _messy. Like, I'm pretty sure drinking was the foundation of our friendship - and hating those stupid uniforms at work. Anyway, somehow even she knew that I had stopped because of you. So... again, thank you, Leonard."

"It's okay." Leonard smiled shyly; he wasn't used to people saying thank you to _him_ with such sincerity over sensitive issues.

"Hey, speaking of Kim," Penny sat up, grinning at him, but keeping her arm linked with his. "Yesterday she e-mailed me a picture of a cat that looks like you."

"A cat that looks like me?" Leonard raised a brow. He was pleased to see that although Penny still looked tired and worn out, the depression on her face had almost completely gone and been replaced with a genuine grin.

"Yeah! It's wearing these dorky glasses like yours."

"Cats don't wear glasses."

"I know, but this one is for the picture. Look, I'll show you."

Somewhat reluctantly, she unlinked her arm from his and got up slowly, before walking over to get her laptop from the dining table. He watched her with a smile, before lifting himself up onto the couch. He figured since she was less upset now, sitting comfortably was a better option.

"Okay." Penny dropped down next to him, again snuggling herself into him as she opened her laptop and waited for it to load. She folded her legs up beside her, and he put an arm around her shoulders again. "Ugh, come on, this thing is so slow. Oh, here we go."

Clicking on the e-mail icon, Penny drummed her fingers as what she called the 'circle of doom' indicate she wait for her more-than-slow laptop to load up her email. When it finally appeared and pushed her new e-mails through, Leonard let out a chuckle. "No wonder it's so slow, you have a _lot _of unread messages there."

"Mm, I haven't checked them today." Penny frowned. She clicked on the top one, quickly skimming through as she made her way down. Leonard was used to this; she would open her laptop to show him something and then end up checking e-mail. Four e-mails down, she saw Amy's name, and clicked on it, seeing it had been sent only a few hours ago with the title 'Useful things'. "Huh."

Her eyes widened as she read it.

_Hello bestie! _

_I found these articles online for you. They are some very effective-looking tension relieving techniques for ladies (some require a toothbrush, some a chew toy, and some neither - which I thought was good, considering you have neither an electric toothbrush nor a functioning chew toy). I have tried some of them, but some of them I haven't - we will have to compare notes at our next slumber party! _

_Kim just saw this and says you will probably need them tonight since you are seeing Leonard. She told me earlier that she has a black belt - I will assume this is karate, as opposed to some kinky costume. Though this wouldn't surprise me, she has a bosom to defy both Bernadette's and your own. _

_See you later (or, if you are reading this after the dinner, it was nice seeing you)! _

_Amy Farrah Fowler, PhD and BFF :) _

"Oh. My. God." Penny could feel her face burning and her jaw drop.

"Umm." Leonard furrowed his brow, staring at the email.

Staring at the screen with horrified expressions, it was almost a full two minutes before Penny's brain kicked back into action and hit the 'down' key to move on to the next email.

"Uh..." Penny let out an awkward giggle. "That's, uh..."

"We can just pretend I didn't just see that e-mail." Leonard said, despite the fact that his brain was in the gutter and filling him with questions that were definitely not appropriate to ask his ex-girlfriend.

"Yeah." Clearing her throat, Penny shook her head slightly, wishing the couch would swallow her up there and then. She went cautiously through the rest of them until she reached Kim's email. "Oh, here it is."

_Alright panties, just saw this cat that looks like Leonard and thought you should see it! :) Hope it makes you smile! xxx_

"Panties?" Leonard scrunched his face up at her as she clicked on the link after Kim's message.

Penny looked at him and shook her head. "Don't ask. Please."

"Hmm. Okay."

"Look, here it is!" Penny grinned, now distracted, and pointed to the screen.

Leonard laughed as he looked at the picture. He didn't really see the resemblance, aside from the glasses, but it was funny anyway.

"It even has the same confused little face as you!" Penny practically cooed, looking from the screen, to him, and then back at the screen. "Though... yours is less furry, obviously. It's a little Leonard cat!"

"What confused face?" Leonard asked.

"You're doing it now!" Penny giggled, when she looked back at him to see the confused expression she had been talking about. "Aww."

"If you say so..." Leonard shrugged, smiling. "It is a cute cat though."

"Of course it's cute!" Penny exclaimed, setting her laptop down on the coffee table now. She sat back to cuddle into him again, linking their arms. "Kim sent me that to try and cheer me up a little. It kind of worked, though it's definitely funnier and cuter today than it was when I got it."

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better." Leonard began drawing small patterns on her arm. "You certainly looked like you could do with some cheering up yesterday."

"I know," Penny sighed. "Like I said, it was one of those weeks. Guess it could have been worse, I'm lucky PMS didn't hit at the same time. Ugh."

"Yeah, that would have been bad. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"Okay." Penny turned her head to look at him inquisitively.

"When we come to the Cheesecake Factory, you always bring me my food. Yesterday you didn't. Why was that?"

"I don't know. Just all the stuff that was happening that week, as you can tell, really got to me. I couldn't _not _serve your table, so I just thought at least I could make it easier by just not serving _you. _I know it doesn't make sense but... that was my logic at the time."

"Okay," Leonard replied quietly. She had said it doesn't make sense, but he understood where she was coming from.

There was a moment of silence, before Penny let out another small giggle.

"What?" Leonard frowned.

"I was thinking about the Leonard cat again." Penny grinned at him.

"It's doesn't _really _look like me."

"Mm, it just reminds me of you. It's the glasses. Alright, I'll think of something else." _Not what's in the articles Amy sent me, _Penny told herself. "How's work going? Anything new yet in the world of physics?"

"Not really." Leonard shrugged. "Just doing the usual experiments and occasionally using the equipment to warm up my lunch."

"You're _such _a nerd. Why can't you just warm up food like a normal person, why do you have to use your science lab equipment to do it?"

"That's easy: because I can." Leonard said, as though this was obvious. "And it's quicker. It takes like... 3.02 seconds to heat my chicken and cheese wrap to the perfect temperature of not too hot so the wrap is soggy, but warm enough for the cheese to melt slightly and the chicken seasoning to bring out it's taste and aroma."

"Cheese?" Penny raised a brow.

"Lactose free." Leonard clarified.

"Can't believe I asked about work and you're telling me about your chicken and lactose free cheese wrap." Penny shook her head in disbelief.

"Well, it's the most exciting thing I've done this week at work, so," Leonard shrugged. "How's your acting class going? Did you do that scene from the script you showed me the other week?"

"Not yet, we're doing our presentations next week." Penny explained. "But I've really been getting into it and I know all the lines. I didn't go to my class this week but I did spend time working on the script by myself, so I'm feeling pretty confident about it. Well, as confident as I can be when it comes to something I've never really tried before."

"I'm sure you'll do great with it. At least you're giving it a shot, even if it's not your forte you'll have something to work on if you ever go back to a piece like that. Then you can use your feedback to build your confidence with it or explore other characters and play genres."

"That's true." Penny nodded thoughtfully. "You sure you're not, like, secretly an actor?"

"Yeah, because being a science nerd always made me want to put myself out there and embarrass myself in front of loads of people." Leonard chuckled.

"Aww, I think you'd be pretty good."

"No, I wouldn't." Leonard shook his head. "I was nervous enough playing my cello in front of my music teacher and then at a small concert the school did. I did like studying the plays though in our Literature classes."

"Ah, Literature was one of the classes I was actually good at in school." Penny grinned proudly.

Leonard pulled a face of mocked shock. "Penny was actually _good _at a class in school?"

"Shut up!" Penny giggled. "I was good at Literature, and History, and Drama classes. Though honestly I can't remember most of the stuff I learned back then but, yeah, I got my best grades in those."

"Hmm, impressive."

Penny yawned. "Yeah, not quite advanced math and all those classes you took, but I got good grades."

"Still-" Leonard shuffled as he felt then heard his phone ring. He let out an involuntary sigh when he saw it was Priya calling, and said a quick "sorry" to Penny before standing from the couch and answering. "Hello?"

"Hello?" Priya, on the other end of the line, sounded confused. "Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, sorry, I called the wrong number." Priya laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, the call ended, and Leonard rolled his eyes as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. He found himself mumbling "yeah, see you tomorrow after you've called Sanjay," which he didn't realize he had said out loud until he saw the confused look upon Penny's face.

"She... she was meant to call Sanjay?" Penny asked quietly.

He had almost forgotten that Penny already knew about Priya's texting Sanjay, and sighed. "Well, she didn't say that, but she said she'd called the wrong number, so..."

"You can't be sure it was him that she's calling." Penny tried to reassure him, standing up too now and putting a hand on his arm.

Leonard shrugged, before looking up at Penny suddenly as though he had just remembered an incredibly important bit of information. She looked at him questioningly.

"Penny, I'm really sorry for what happened earlier at dinner. Priya and Sheldon were both out of line for doing what they did, or saying what they said... it wasn't fair to you. You should have been able to enjoy some time with all of us together."

"No, Leonard, it's okay." Penny was touched by the fact that he was apologizing so profusely for his friend and his girlfriend. "Sheldon was just being Sheldon and... I would have done the same as Priya, if I was in her position. It's okay. Everything just seems a gazillion times worse when you're upset, it's fine."

Leonard hesitated for a moment. "I don't know... she was doing those things on purpose, I could tell. And you looked so uncomfortable, I felt bad, you were already upset-"

"Listen, honey, don't-" Penny sighed, deciding to rephrase. "It's always going to be a little bit uncomfortable, and a little bit difficult, and a little bit upsetting for me. Whether or not it's on purpose, that's just how these things are. It just got to me more today than usual because I was upset, sweetie, but you shouldn't be apologizing for something you didn't do. If the tables were turned you would feel the same."

Contemplating her words, Leonard watched as Penny slowly and gently rubbed her thumb over the skin of his hand. Admitting those little things, that it would always be difficult for _her_, always came as a surprise to him. He could tell that she got upset sometimes, but she very rarely admitted it.

Without a further thought, Leonard pulled off his jacket and then his hoodie. Before Penny could ask what he was doing, he draped his hoodie neatly over her shoulders and smiled at her.

"Leonard, what-"

"In case you get cold, or... or if you need me and I'm not there. Or if it just matches your new jeans, or you need something to throw on over your uniform before work. I want you to have it."

"Leonard." Penny smiled sweetly at him, bringing her hands up to curl around the top edges of the hoodie. _Oh God, don't start crying now, Penny, just talk. _"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Leonard replied, smiling sheepishly. He couldn't help but think just how adorable she looked in his hoodie, snuggling into it as she stifled a small yawn. He chuckled, and she put her arms into the sleeves so she was wearing it properly. "You should get some sleep."

"Yeah, I think I will." Penny nodded, shuffling over closer to him. "Thank you for everything, Leonard. For the hoodie, for the talk, for coming over, for sitting on the floor with me... thank you for being my handsome, nerdy best friend."

With a small shrug, she stepped in to hug him. They held each other tightly for well over twenty Mississippi's, eyes closed, smiling. Savouring the closeness and the intimacy the hug brought, they held each other closely. Penny planted a kiss on his cheek, and he reciprocated, before pulling away.

"Goodnight, Penny." Leonard smiled at her, putting his jacket over his arm.

Penny walked him the few steps to her apartment door, thankful that for once her will to just lie down in bed wearing his hoodie was stronger than her will to pounce on his and show him her appreciation in much more exciting ways (though his now exposed arms were certainly rising a battle). "Goodnight, Leonard."

In the moment before he turned to open her door and leave, they both felt that inevitable sexual tension again. They stared intently at each other for what felt like hours but in reality was only a couple of seconds. Penny cautiously moved her hand towards his face, but in the last moment dropped it down and past him to open the door for him.

"I... goodnight." Leonard said quickly through a dry through, turning abruptly and leaving.

Shutting the door, Penny sighed as she turned the lock.

"Oh balls." She mumbled, as she headed back to her couch for her laptop. "I'm going to need those articles in the email tonight. Emotional wreck and horny ex-girlfriend... ugh, worst combination _ever_."


End file.
